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| marinus stiria by bryn | 59 Review(s) |
|---|---|
| Miriel | Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 10/20/2003 |
| I loved Legolas' musing on Gimli's reactions to his words taht the sea was somewhat off. Fidgity little Bergil...would know him anywhere. (Maybe, when you finish with these, you can write a Bergil story! I'm sure that you would have an instant following.:) True...Legolas senses seem highly tuned to the poitn where he senses things that others do not. Mortals, for instance. Why does Arwen sense nothing? The descriptions of the feeling of the Simarils where right on the mark. The stars, yes, and the sea. Lovely. No! Stupid Aragorn! Why did he do that? Stupid mortals... *Ignores fact that I have just insulted my entire race* Author Reply: I really really like Bergil. I will say no more on the matter for now, because, well... Yes. Is the Arwen section posted yet? Oh wait, I think I'm just about to post it. That should explain a little about Arwen's desensitization (really hope that's a word). She's mortal now, and enclosed in the city. It's compromised her senses to some degree. She does, however, sense SOMETHING, though not to the same degree as Legolas. *grin* Aragorn is always portrayed so kingly and perfect. Let him have his faults, I say! He's only a man--what makes him so special? Okay, granted, he's King Of Everything, but he's NOT perfect. He can't be. Otherwise he would be very dull. Faults add character! Even if they make you do dumb things. ;) | |
| Miriel | Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 10/20/2003 |
| Conversations in the Void...yes, I see the resemblence now. :) (BTW, I did put your name in there, and I will update it on Weds.) Brilliant how you managed to come up with this! Much worse things than stolen cows. That's just...ridiculous! (Yet funny.) She has arrived, although it much worse condition than anyone would have wanted. I like how she speaks to the doll. (Well, no not 'like it' exactly, but I believe that it is fitting for one who has gone mad.) Where did she get that rhyme? I mean, where is it from? Who chanted it, long ago in the depths of time? Your right...that is an interesting mental picture. Hm. Only the elves would fight over trees... Yeah, Bergil does remind me of a less arrogant Halbard...but slightly different. Why the warning? I didn't notice much in this chapter, although I'm sur ethat the later ones will be bloody... Author Reply: I see you've updated 'Void,' I'll have to go check it out. *grin* Er, I have no idea where Bitaliel heard that rhyme. Maybe it's a children's rhyme sung by those in Belfalas. A lot of children's rhymes tend to be rather creepy if you think about it. ('Ring Around the Rosy?' When I found out what that was about my skin crawled for weeks. Uuugh.) Elves fighting over trees... Oh man, what I wouldn't give to see a showdown between Galadriel and a Thranduil/Oropher team. Galadriel would win against Thranduil (as much as I love the King), but add Oropher to the mix and things could get pretty interesting. I put a warning this chapter because of The Eyes scene. If I'm even slightly worried it may be graphic, I tend to put warnings. Better safe than sorry, as they say. :) Thank you for the review!!! | |
| Orophins Dottir | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 10/19/2003 |
| Love the scene where Arwen and Aragorn are preparing for the audience with their people. However, it did conjure up an image in my mind of their attempt to persuade Legolas to institute the same custom in Ithilien. I see the Elf Boy drawing himself to his full height and assuming his most Thranduil-like expression as he declares that "elves do not DO cows, Arwen!" People are viewing me strangely as I cackle hysterically. Perhaps I shall retreat to the forest. . . | |
| The Karenator | Reviewed Chapter: 9 on 10/18/2003 |
| Bryn, Wow! You've balanced the action well and kept all your characters involved. Bergil is a delightful young fellow and Legolas is his mischievous self on the trip. Aragorn seemingly remains himself, but the creeping changes in his personality are well done. The hold of the stone is evident in subtle ways to begin with and then shows itself when Aragorn holds his sword to the throat of his friend. I can still sense the old Aragorn in his manner, even though the stone is exerting its power. I like the way you've written him. It's not some immediate change that just suddenly goes snap, but weaves it way in and out of his personality. Morgoth is creepy, as usual. A very interesting view of his whereabouts. Well done. I look forward to more. :>) Karen Author Reply: I can't tell you how relieved I was to read your comments on Aragorn. Absolutely RELIEVED. The greatest complaint I get on this tale is Aragorn's behavior. It's extremely difficult to show the jewel's impact on him--especially as the Silmarils do not (technically) have the same drawing power as the Rings. There is good intent behind Aragorn's actions, unfortunately, they are slightly tainted. Oh, you've made my day! :) Even though he's chained in a Void, Morgoth has probably figured some way to "reign" over it. Power hungry gods are usually have an odd talent for stuff like that. *lol* Thank you for the great review!!! | |
| Miriel | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 10/13/2003 |
| *Accepts kudos* Ha! I was right! Uh oh, why is Aragorn's name mentioned? No! Not him too! Stolen cows...haha. I like Bergil--he oozes character, charm, and fun! I can't wait to see more of your rendition of him. Gimli-*Rolls eyes* Self indulgent, haughty elf. Humerous, but sad, as Gimli is jesting to hide the hurt and concern that Arwen so easily saw. Yes, Terigon would turn to drinking. His wife indulges and begs for pain, while he wishes to cover it. Interesting how differently people react to sorrow. Oh, fantastic. Now the corsairs want the Silmaril too. It's the war of the Jewels all over again...but with mortals. *Shudder* I love it! Please update soon! (I know from ff.n that you have more written, so I won't accept excuses!! My apologies for not reading it there, I perfer the formating on SoA.) | |
| Miriel | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 10/13/2003 |
| Bitaliel shows the uncaring attitude of one who has lost all hope. She rides not caring if she lives or dies. Why should she? Life is now meaningless. Her daughter is dead. Not dead by illness, no, that might have been better. For this death, this was preventable. This death should not have been. On foot? She *REALLY* relishes the feeling of pain... Interesting how the trees know of such a thing. (How is it they know of such a thing?) Oh no...who else has heard the whispers? | |
| Miriel | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 10/13/2003 |
| I absolutely love the way that you personify the sea in the beginning. It's interesting to think that it would become a burden for the sea to hold in her waters. But, you explained it as the stone needed light. I never thought of that either, that the sea would be a dark place for the starlight. Much too dark in the depths of the sea for a Simlaril to rest. That would be hard for the sea to give it up, burden as though it may be. Besides the fact that bringing such a heavy stone (would it be heavy? Tolkien never says) would be difficult, the stone would also probably not want to be given up, unlike the ring, the stone is not evil. Hm. I love Muriel's reaoning on her papa's business doing well. so like a child, selfishly thinking of oneself. The sea angrily foamed around her ankles as she picked it up? The sea wished to relinquish its treasure, but not completely. It still wished to hold on to it. Oh no! How sad! The little girl dies...yet it could not be otherwise. You know, you never think about (Well, obviously, you did! ;) what the Silmaril might do to mortals, as they were somewhat scarce in the War of the Jewels. But a child especially, vulnerable to the delight and fascination of the jewel, the pure jewel, would surely never be able to take their eyes off of it. Hm, a thought just occured to me. If the light of the Silmaril does that to a child, can you imagine what would have happened if the two trees had still been around when men awoke in middle earth? So, Bitaliel will go to Elessar. THAT ought to prove interesting. Question: why does she show no fascination at the stone? Tegiron at least showed a little, but she showed nothing. Anyway, wonderful beginning! Where ever did you come up with this idea? I wish that I had thought of it! | |
| The Karenator | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 10/10/2003 |
| Bryn, An excellent start. You have woven an intriguing story full of well rounded characters of your own. You have set the stage well with good foreshadowing and a good plot line. The child's death, while sad, serves to tell us the dangers of the stone and the frailities of spirit that it awakens. The known characters are uneasy and walking into the plot unknowingly. Maybe Legolas has a clue, but he's not talking and is irritating the dwarf to boot. I'm really looking forward to reading more. Karen | |
| Sivan | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 10/10/2003 |
| This is very good, I can't wait to read more. I love what I read. God Bless your talent and gifts. | |