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| Avon's Drabbles by Avon | 79 Review(s) |
|---|---|
| Raksha The Demon | Reviewed Chapter: 19 on 12/29/2004 |
| A delightful sketch of little lord Boromir stuck in the schoolroom! He's better at practical things and battlefield tactics than memorizing dates. Question - "Boromir crossly pushed away the book he had been set to con" - I don't understand the last three words - is it a typo, is my computer leaving off letters, or am I dense? Author Reply: Thanks for the feedback! I'm a primary teacher myself and, you know, there are a lots of kids who just aren't the sit down and learn type but who, like Boromir, have great determination and drive. set to con No, you aren't dense - I'm being obscure. I often use old, though not necessarily of any particular age, words to try and give my stuff a flavour of not being *now*. Con means to study or learn so Boromir has been told to learn a cerain number of pages or something like that of the book. | |
| Raksha The Demon | Reviewed Chapter: 21 on 10/23/2004 |
| Oooh, I can just see Denethor simmering with frustration and controlled rage over everyone's predilection for Thorongil. It's probably a very good thing he didn't live to meet him again as Aragorn, Son of Arathorn, Heir of Isildur, healer of Faramir, and soon-to-be King of Gondor. Denethor really needed to have a gym at his disposal and spend a lot of time beating up the punching bag...But he probably would have scorned such blatant violence and preferred to brood in silence... Author Reply: I have this theory - whcih you can probably tell from this drabble that Denethor=Faramir and Thorongil=Boromir in many ways. I feel sorry for Denethor in lots of ways, but then I'm a wee bit of a Denethor-fangirl ;-) Thanks for the feedback. | |
| shirebound | Reviewed Chapter: 21 on 10/23/2004 |
| Your writings are so subtle and concise, and say so much with so little. Ah, Thorongil... such a blank page in history for authors to open up for us. Wonderful. Author Reply: Thanks! Yes, Thorongil... this is the first time I've ever written him I think but I hope it won't be the last. Avon | |
| LKK | Reviewed Chapter: 18 on 10/5/2004 |
| Very amusing, Avon. I liked the use of "et" in the last line to convey an accent. A young Samwise, I assume? Author Reply: Yup, a young Samwise indeed. One of my nieces says 'et' (to my horror, I must admit) so that inspired that. Thanks as always for the feedback. Avon | |
| LKK | Reviewed Chapter: 17 on 9/29/2004 |
| Very nice, Avon. It must have been hard for Gilrean to not acknowledge all references to her former life and love. While at the same time, she saw those references reflected daily in her son. It's not hard to imagine her in the lonely depths of the dark nights, watching Aragorn sleep, remembering her former life, and wanting her son to have some dim rememberances of his son. Good job. Author Reply: Thanks, LKK. On the occasions I do think of Gilraen I do feel very sorry for her. Avon | |
| LKK | Reviewed Chapter: 16 on 8/11/2004 |
| VERY NICE! I like the poetic feel of this one. The parallel paragraphs. Each describing the other in terms best loved from their native environments. This has the allure of a poem in prose form. Well done, Avon. | |
| LKK | Reviewed Chapter: 15 on 7/20/2004 |
| I think you captured Aulė's feelings for his children quite well, Avon. The reasons why he created them, his expectations for their accomplishments, his love for them -- all comes through clearly. Very nice. Switching over to how the drabble was written: I go back and forth on my opinion of the repeated use of "strong". I like the pattern of the first two sentences: an overall adjective that is used later in specific manners. Then the pattern is broken with the third sentence. I can't decide if I prefer that the pattern continue throughout the drabble or if too much of a good thing would be too much. I wonder, did you try an earlier draft with the pattern consistent throughout and decide that it was overwhelming? Regardless of whether you tried another format or not, I *do* like what you've done here. Your drabbles are always a pleasure to read. :) Author Reply: Thanks. I'm still not very fond of this drabble. I wrote it for a birthday present and it was very much of the 'uuurgh! I'm carving this out of solid rock with sheer determination rather than great inspiration the driving force' type. I didn't try to write it with the pattern continuing, but I did contemplate it. I thought it might be a bit much. I also considered following the same pattern but with a different word, but felt that might also be relying too heavily on a gimmick. Thank you very much for this feedback - it really has given me something to think about. Avon | |
| maya_ar | Reviewed Chapter: 11 on 7/17/2004 |
| This is one of the best little Glorfindel pieces I've ever seen. cheers, Maya Author Reply: Thank you (belatedly), Avon | |
| Karri | Reviewed Chapter: 15 on 7/17/2004 |
| A very interesting glimpse into the mind of Aule. Nicely done. Author Reply: Thanks, Karri. Avon | |
| shirebound | Reviewed Chapter: 15 on 7/17/2004 |
| Oh Avon, this is so powerful. I'm working on Chapter 4 of "Light Out of Darkness", which focuses on Gimli, and it's giving me new insights into the Dwarves and their worldview. You do a great job here. Author Reply: Gosh, thank you! I felt well out of my depth writing this (which was done to meet a birthday request over at HASA) and havered for a long while before posting it here. Avon | |