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| More Dangerous and Less Wise by daw the minstrel | 86 Review(s) |
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| pipinheart | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 11/22/2008 |
| Very enjoyable chapter...Loved it.. Beliond would say it was Maltanaurs fault and vice versa. It seem Beliond has a hot temper and even hotter for a bit of revenge. Thranduil was more cautious of the three. Beliond is very amusing and has a very vivid imagination, and with Maltanaur to watch his back, they seem to get into trouble. Too bad you don't see Beliond this way much....Great job... Author Reply: I love writing from Beliond's point of view because he's so different from me. He makes me laugh. And it is too bad that life kicked him around a little so he lost some of that playfulness. I'm glad you liked it, pipinheart. | |
| ziggy | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 11/22/2008 |
| I love the way you have shown the differnt pov of Beliond and Maltanur, and the way you play upon their characters to present themselves in the best light and the other as the real culprit, (who me? No, not my idea, I just went along with it!). Makltanur is, I feel, a far more reliable narrator than Beliond, who just happily blames everyone else and is securely certain that he is always right!They both blame and take the credit for everything and I think that may be quite woodelvish in a way, that huge sense of enjoyment in storytelling actually, and complete abandon. You have, as always, developed Legolas with his musing on Thranduil before he met Legolas' mother. And I always appreciate the way you add details to give your world more life, more depth, beyond the immediate story- so Ithilden is trying to encourage Thranduil to see the dwarves as allies, and that of course, is something you use in other stories- so you are always building the back drop if you like. I find that really rewarding when I read, because it draws me back to other stories and often go back to read them again.And that Legolas actually hopes that Beliond will be as careful with Eilian as he is with him- a lovely ironic touch that. I love that both Beliond and Matlanuar say the same things about each other!! (Just repeat myself but it is one of the main points of this really, isnt it)and they both agree to 'get rid ' of Thranduil for a bit! Because of his uptight Sindar ways, leaving him' grinding his teeth'!!! loaded with Sindarin inhibitions would cramp an Elf's style all by itself. Love that! That was such a clear image. I love the free way the woodelves behave, DEFINITELY more dangerous and less wise- but who would not want to be like that!!!Beliond going along to watch Matnaous back is hilarious- and it's typical of Matanaour to leave Beliond to do all the hard bit, like exlplaining to Thranduil! Love this bit- Maltanaur watched him go with narrowed eyed. That was far too easy. (You can HEAR Matanour working through this in his head) Beliond should have squealed like a cat deprived of its mouse. He was up to something.(Oh yes!) Maltanaur shifted uneasily. (He sooo wants to go too... about to find a really really good excuse!)Leaving Beliond on his own was a bad idea. (oh yeah!) Besides, Maltanaur really wanted to know what Beliond had in mind. (Aha- now we come to it) Forgive me for quoting you back to yourself but that was so funny. Love it and am sad that you have said only a bit more- hope you ar eplanning more soon? Author Reply: I love the free way the woodelves behave, DEFINITELY more dangerous and less wise- but who would not want to be like that!!! Oh that's it exactly! That's why it's so much fun to write these guys. I'm pretty inhibited myself, probably way beyond even Sindar ways, so letting myself go and trying to think like Beliond is a joy. I suspect that you're right that Maltanaur is a more reliable narrator, but they're all having more fun than they might admit to Legolas and Eilian. Maltanaur choosing Beliond as a friend is sort of like Gelmir choosing Eilian. I have about 2000 words of the next chapter drafted, but I'm busy with weekend chores today. Tomorrow I should be able to write some more. It won't be be long. Thank you for this gratifying review. | |
| sofia | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 11/22/2008 |
| another wonderful chapter. I love the satire you use for the memories, it makes everything much more interesting! Can't wait to see what they do with Pounder. Author Reply: I'm glad you're enjoying it, Sofia. I'm having a lot of fun, and it would be a pity if I had no one to share my enjoyment. | |
| Bodkin | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 11/21/2008 |
| If I want to 'manipulate' your behavior, I will tell you. Beliond has a very ... direct ... idea of manipulation! Although I'm not surprised - when it comes to subtlety, he is remarkably obvious. Just going to see Arriel, nothing else - hmm! I love young, wild, careless Beliond - who has a pleasing knack for alliteration - and I'm sad for the events in his life that turned him into a suspicious loner. Legolas is good for him - and I would love to see the pair of them roaming the woods of the Blessed Realm. Beliond and Maltanaur are a delight in the trees - and their cunning plan worked up to point - but do they really want to be lumbered with Stubby Beard? I'm not sure Thranduil appreciated the gift at first - he has a better idea of political ramifications than his friends. Although I daresay the kick was a good way to get him to overcome his doubts. And they're in the gorge? Maybe there's a way here for Thranduil to come out as a hero - and for Stubby to look a total ... idiot. Just like Legolas and Eilian, I delight in these looks back into the earlier lives of the keepers and their king. Author Reply: when it comes to subtlety, he is remarkably obvious. Just going to see Arriel, nothing else - hmm! LOL. I know. I don't write comedy very often, so when I do, it's so much fun to remember how insanely broad one can be in that genre. When I planned the raid on the Dwarf camp, I made a list of daring things they could do and then used as many as I could, though there are still a few I'd have liked to arrange. I just didn't have the right props on hand. Thranduil did a good thing for Beliond when he put Legolas into his care. Beliond needed to come back to society again and to let himself love someone else. Thanks for the review, Bodkin. | |
| Bodkin | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 11/21/2008 |
| I love seeing Eilian coping with Nana Beliond. Thranduil clearly knows his sons well enough to understand which one can deal with Beliond long-term! My toes curled at the sound of Voice of Wisdom Beliond - They should wait until full dark to cross that open area, he thought. "We are not crossing that area until it is dark," Beliond said. And then there was Patience is not my best quality. I love Beliond - I do - but I couldn't live with the elf. Or near him. Or in any situation where I was obliged to co-operate with him. It will undoubtedly be good for all four of Thranduil's little family here to have the chance to get to know each other better - and, if it leads to us learning more of Thranduil's less stellar moments, it will be good for us, too! Beliond as a young warrior kept in line by the ferocious-seeming Captain Laegcened is fun. As is the schoolyard rivalry - with added weapons - of the three elves and the dwarves. A rivalry that the dwarves currently seem to be winning! I'm not surprised Eilian was in hysterics. Author Reply: Long term, Eilian and Beliond would have killed one another. At the moment, they're surprising me by doing pretty well. Personally, I never could have stood Beliond. He's good hearted enough. He's just impossibly bossy. The Dwarves need to enjoy their advantage while it lasts. :-) | |
| meckinock | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 11/21/2008 |
| Wow, it's a shame we've finally been subjected to the scourge of fanfic.net - the anonymous "helpful" concritter. Take a look around, friend - do you see any other anonymous concritting reviewers on SoA? It's considered courteous here to sign your name to the e-mail if you'd like to pass along some helpful writing tips - or e-mail privately. | |
| meckinock | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 11/21/2008 |
| It's quite enlightening to see Beliond from Maltanaur's point of view, and vice versa! Interestingly, neither seems to have changed much LOL. Pity Thranduil for not having anyone to stick up for him. It was a kick to see these guys in their younger-and-definitely-not-wiser days. Especially Thranduil. Interesting how even then, he was starting to sober under the weight of his responsibilities. He had the longest journey of all of them, I think. Author Reply: I'm so glad you said that about Beliond and Maltanaur. Beliond is easy and fun to write. I just have him say, do, and think stuff that I would never say, do, or think. But Maltanaur is trickier because he's more balanced and strategic, but he's still a young wood-elf. Now Thranduil has to loosen up a little to fit in with his people and he never quite makes it all the way, but I think he's a happier person for what he does manage. Of course, his wife helped too. Thanks for the review, Meckinock. | |
| Elflingimp | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 11/21/2008 |
| Arg! I want to hear the rest!!!LOL! the Dwarf folded like a fallen foes war banner? That was my favorite line. However do you think of all this? It is simply great! I love it. Hugs The Imp Author Reply: You're so kind, Elflingimp. I'm glad you're enjoying the story. There's not much more. Another chapter, I think. I've been writing about what Beliond and Eilian find, and now I have to fish Thranduil back out of that gorge and reunite everyone. Soon! | |
| Nilmandra | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 11/21/2008 |
| Cutting this with Thranduil taking a tumble is better. Good choice. I like seeing Beliond and Maltanaur and Thranduil in their early days. Once can understand their suspicion of dwarves. I like Beliond telling Eilian he will let him know if he is manipulating his behavior. LOL. Author Reply: Cutting all this stuff together, with tonal differences included, is hard. Or maybe not wise to try? LOL Beliond makes me laugh even when I write his lines. | |
| Dot | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 11/21/2008 |
| Oh, I LOVED this chapter! I was laughing right from the opening when we’re back with Legolas and Maltanaur but in the middle of the same story. You did that so well. That was a really interesting moment when Legolas wonders if he’s said too much about Thranduil. I know it becomes second nature to them all to keep stuff to themselves but it can’t be easy being so restrained about what happens at home all the time. Still, Maltanaur knows Thranduil even better than his sons do! I’m so intrigued by this glimpse of his younger days. The real problem came later after Beliond had his idea. LOL!! Stop confusing me! Laegcened tended to think Wood-elves did inexplicable things as a matter of course. Heh. I bet he does. Though something tells me he still wouldn’t believe they’d all gone swimming in a freezing river while still in their clothes. Beliond’s insults are hilarious. When he’s riled up no-one stands a chance! Thranduil’s attempts to suggest the elves weren’t exactly innocent were certainly squashed. Leaving Beliond on his own was a bad idea. You can say that again! Though tagging along might not improve matters, Maltanaur... They got stung again?? These two are incorrigible. But oh, what fun to watch them so carefree and full of mischief. And to think how they scold Eilian and Legolas for showing the slightest inclination towards doing something silly. The Dwarf camp actually sounds pretty cosy. I was almost sorry to think they were about to be disturbed. Almost ;-) I was desperately trying to figure out what Beliond and Maltanaur were up to – it was so hard to stop myself scrolling down to see! And wow, they’re good! I was totally engrossed in their bad deeds. Now, that’s teamwork at its best. And then they have no idea what to do with the Dwarf once they’ve captured him! LOLOL. It’s fascinating too to see the reactions from Legolas and Eilian. And I laughed so hard at Eilian’s sarcastic "You are joking" in answer to Beliond’s comment about Thranduil. Of course, both of them are distracted by what’s happening in the present too, which I thought was a nice insight into their character. And a good reminder on your part that it’s not all fun and games. So now Thranduil gets dragged into it. Not that he isn’t well able. And the cheek of that Dwarf to kick him! Oh, he’ll regret that. I kind of agree with Beliond too that they’re in it this far so they might as well enjoy themselves :-) I’m not sure he needed to be quite that eager to knock young Stubby out, though! Did Beliond just put a Dwarf in a tree?? I have to say, Amdir’s guard doesn’t seem remotely bothered by the goings-on. At least Oropher’s people aren’t boring guests... Then it broke, and both Thranduil and Stubby rolled down it, through the underbrush, and over the edge of the gorge. What? Holy crap! This adventure just gets Of course, Eilian’s right too to focus on what happened to the present-day Dwarves. The end sent a chill through me. Excellent chapter, daw. Author Reply: Geez, I just nearly gave myself a heart attack by clicking "delete this review" instead of reply. Thank goodness the site gave me a chance to think it over! As always, Dot, your review is most welcome. I'm having a good time writing from the keepers' POVs, though even I am having trouble keeping this straight sometimes. The raid on the Dwarf camp was especially fun to write because I could let them get absurdly Wood-elfy. And then they take Thranduil a present! How could he resist? Maybe they should have left Stubby in the tree. He'd never have been able to explain that one! I expect Amdir's guard is used to Wood-elves. He is one. And Oropher's gang has been here before, often enough that Beliond had a girlfriend here! Thank you so much for taking the time to do this when I know you're really busy. | |