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Okay, NOW Panic!  by Boz4PM

Chapter 4 - “The Long and Winding Road”


It was an early wake-up call that morning. Not that Penny had slept much, since she was so excited. She expected most of Rivendell had been up half the night as well. Certainly the talking had gone on till very late on the grass outside of Erestor’s study the previous night. When Mireth knocked on her chamber door, Penny was already up and dressed with her last few wash items packed in her saddlebag, and she was sitting on the bed waiting for Mireth to arrive.

At breakfast, though, it started to kick in and Penny was yawning hugely. Bilbo was chortling to himself.

“Now, Pen-ii, that was not sensible. Travelling is a tiring business without setting out already exhausted. Elves do not need rest the way we do, or at least they can catch up on their rest in ways that we cannot.” He drained the last of his tea before asking, “Now, do you have everything packed?”

He started listing everything he thought she might need, like a fussing mother hen. Penny was actually very touched that he was treating her no differently to how he might fuss over Pippin, or even Frodo.

“Tea? Did you pack some tea?” he was now asking.

She sat bolt upright in response.

“What! You did not pack tea?!” Bilbo was appalled. “Go! Shoo! Quickly! There is still time!” With that he was up off his chair and hurrying her gently along in front of him down to the kitchens where they found a spare empty pot and filled it with tea leaves.

“But I do not have a teapot, or a strainer. I cannot just take one without asking, Bilba.”

“Yes, you can. They have plenty.” Bilbo helped himself to a strainer from one of the large drawers of utensils.

All around them was a flurry of activity with elves already carrying out the packages of foodstuffs to be loaded onto the horses. Naurdir was busy directing everyone and looked harassed beyond belief. Penny did not really like to disturb him, but when he came straight past her at one point, stopping to ask her had she packed some lembas amongst her own things yet, she waved the tea strainer at him.

“Can I take this with me, Naurdir? I do not want to without asking.”

“Yes, yes, of course. Anything you need, take it,” said Naurdir flapping his hand vaguely at her, before rushing over to take charge of a large pack of cram being lifted out of the door. Penny was not even sure Naurdir had even taken in what it was she was asking about, but no matter.

Once outside, it was not mayhem exactly, but extremely busy and Penny felt she was better off out of the way rather than under everyone’s feet. She kept up on the steps with Bilbo, watching everything being readied.

The number of horses about was extraordinary. She knew there were a lot in Imladris given how large the stables were, as well as the considerable number in the various paddocks round Imaldris itself. To see them all in one place together, however, was fairly impressive. She noticed that most were being used to carry belongings.

Not everyone would be riding, then.

She saw Lindir leading the mare she usually rode towards her. The horse was already saddled and all tacked up. He helped her get the saddlebags on, and then a few other things were loaded on as well, such as a water sac, bedrolls and other sundry items that she would share with Eleniel on their travels. Penny felt a little guilty about riding if everyone else would be walking.

“Nonsense, Pen-ii,” laughed Lindir. “We will not all be walking. Many will be riding, myself included, and as the foodstuffs are depleted more space will become available on the other horses also. We will take turns on the horses as well. You must remember, though, Pen-ii, this will be a hard journey for you, whether you walk or ride. You will be glad to have a horse available for you to sit on, as well as the opportunity to get out of the saddle at times. You, of all of us, need to have a horse.”

Ah, so it was ‘the feeble human’ routine, thought Penny bitterly. She could not deny the truth of it, though.

At last everything was ready, and it was still early morning. Penny and Bilbo had said their goodbyes already, but she still gave him a quick hug before climbing up into the saddle. She watched with interest the quiet conversation had between Lord Elrond, Lady Arwen and Bilbo before the two elves then went to mount their steeds.

Elrond, Arwen, Glorfindel and Erestor were all horsed. Lindir was also riding, as were many of the ellyn. Celebdor had insisted Mireth start out on his horse and was walking by her side. Penny noticed that the ellyn were all fully armed with sword, knife and bow. She was even more surprised when Lindir came up to her and pulled a small dagger from his belt and stuffed it into one of her saddlebags. She opened her mouth to protest but he stopped her.

“Just to be on the safe side, Pen-ii. You may be grateful for it at some point. Besides, Lord Glorfindel insisted.”

Penny looked up to find the golden-haired ellon already astride his steed, some way ahead and beside Lord Elrond. He was twisted round on his horse’s back and watching Lindir’s actions. He caught her eye and smiled, nodding at her. She nodded in return, but could not help but feel nervous. She knew orcs were still to found, if sporadically, in the mountains. There were many fully armed warriors travelling with them, of course, but the very fact that they were insisting she also have her own knife ‘just in case’ still completely freaked her out.

If actually faced with an orc, she doubted she would have the presence of mind to even reach for a dagger, or do anything at all other than have hysterics, wet herself or simply have a heart attack on the spot. Even if it never came to that and any attack was held off by the warrior ellyn, she was still likely to make a complete fool of herself: scream herself silly or worse. It did not bear thinking about. She felt vaguely sick and tense at the very idea.

Bilbo and the few elves staying behind were standing on the steps to see them off. The hobbit waved cheerily enough, but Penny knew he was still sad he could not come with them.

‘He’ll love having the run of the place, though,’ Penny thought. She smirked as she thought of him bustling about Imladris directing elves who were more than capable of knowing what needed to be done without him telling them. ‘He’ll drive them completely potty.’ She laughed to herself.

Lindir had come to ride along side her as they slowly set off and raised an eyebrow at her quiet chuckle.

“Just thinking about Bilba,” she explained. “He will be running circles round them all within a week, I am sure of it.” Lindir grinned and nodded.

The pace was slow, since many were walking, but even so they covered good ground. Just after midday they came to the Ford of Bruinen and turned south towards Hollin. Penny, sitting side-saddle, as were all the elleth who were riding, was content to watch the countryside pass and listen to the songs being sung. No sooner did one voice fall silent from somewhere within the crowd, than another would begin. Only once or twice was there a tune in Quenya, so many of the songs she could follow to a certain extent. She realised many of them were love songs, and wondered if this was deliberate. She suspected it was.

They stopped for lunch, which was a simple meal of cheeses, bread and water. Everyone sat in small groups where they were, and made no attempt to stand on ceremony or get together in a group. Most had their own food with them, which, when it ran out, would be replaced from the larger stores loaded on the horses.

It was a very relaxed affair, and Penny, as she ate with Mireth, Eleniel, Lindir and Celebdor, looked about at the horses grazing quietly, the small groups of elves chattering and laughing sitting on the ground, and was amazed. You would not have thought this was the start of a two-month trek to Gondor that would involve miles and miles of travel on foot for most as well as slogging over a mountain range. It was like a day out for a picnic.

It felt utterly bizarre.

But then, that was elves for you. Penny could just imagine Halbarad saying as much, too.

She decided to walk a little after lunch, rather than ride. Her backside was already aching a little, and they had barely begun. As they journeyed further, the landscape was becoming bleaker. There were few trees, except deep in the valleys where there were gushing, rapid waters, tumbling over boulders and running towards the rivers from the mountains. It was much like the landscape that led to Imladris from the north, the landscape that she and Halbarad had crossed together. There were hills everywhere, but this was a rugged and far wilder landscape, with fewer trees. Everywhere there were huge masses of thick and tangled thorn bushes. The path they took was a winding one, into valleys and out of them, the whole crowd of them stretched out in a long train.

Penny realised she was following the Fellowship’s path, and that as likely as not they were heading for Hollin, Eregion, and then the Redhorn Gate on Caradhras. Her head swam a little. She faltered for just a moment, but did not stop, carried as she was by the momentum of those walking and riding near her.

“Pen-ii, are you well? Perhaps you should get back in the saddle...”

It was Lindir. Trust him not to miss a beat.

“I am fine, honestly.”

The look on Lindir’s face told her he would brook no argument, that his words had been firmer than a mere suggestion. With a resigned and vaguely irritated sigh, Penny stopped and caught hold of the saddle, dragging herself up onto the horse.

“Bloody do-gooding elves. Never give you a moment’s peace,” she muttered.

Lindir was alongside her. “Since you are muttering in your own tongue, I can only presume you are complaining about me,” he grinned.

“Yes,” she snapped. “I do not need you fussing over me.”

Lindir looked hurt. “Very well. My apologies for being concerned,” he said stiffly. He spurred his horse into a trot and went forward to ride beside a group of ellyn further up the track.

“Bloody elves!”

She did feel bad, though. It was only because he cared. She had not snapped at him like that in quite a while. The realisation of where she was going and the path she was taking had thrown her a little, and she had spoken without thinking. ‘Old Fiery Penny,’ that was what Halbarad used to call her when she behaved like that.

She sighed. She missed Halbarad terribly. Ridiculous, in some ways, given how little a time they had known each other, but she could not help herself. She found herself looking about her and wondering how well he had known this countryside. She imagined he, and all the Dúnedain, knew it nearly as well as Aragorn probably did. She knew most of them were still down there in Gondor. It would be strange to meet them all again, especially the few she had met when they were gathering in Imladris.

She suddenly realised Halbarad’s sons might be there.

She was not sure if she was pleased or scared by the thought she might finally meet them. She doubted they would know about her, but it would be nice to have them pointed out to her...

Then another thought hit her. What if they were dead?

She felt her eyes fill with tears. She only knew the names of one or two people who had fallen in the War, but in fact many would have done, many nameless men. Both at the Pelennor as well as the Black Gate, let alone elsewhere. Even if Halbarad’s sons had managed to join him, she could not know if they had survived the battles they would have faced: over the ships, in front of Minas Tirith, or on the Dagorlad itself.

Penny felt suddenly terribly depressed as dusk approached and they wound their way slowly into a deep-sided valley. There were trees here, but even so Penny now discovered the reason for quite so many baggages had been brought with them and why, therefore, so many were on foot.

Awnings appeared. Some were mere covers stretched between trees, but many were like tents.

Ellyn busied themselves in one group, while the elleth congregated a little way apart from them. Penny helped unload the horses, piling up the bags in a large heap that was then covered by a tarpaulin. It was not yet fully dark and, as she worked, she could see two ellyn disappearing off into the trees. One had two small spades over his shoulder, the other was carrying a rolled up awning and sticks. She furrowed her brow a little as she watched them. She was with Eleniel as she had seen them and the elleth had looked up to see what it was she had noticed.

“To look for a place for a latrine,” she explained. “There are so many of us, better to use one spot than many.”

Penny had wondered how that situation would be dealt with. It was easy enough for the ellyn, of course. More than once she had seen one or two wander off from the main group and reappear some minutes later looking a little more comfortable and relaxed as they had journeyed. When they had stopped for lunch several of the ellith had wandered off in a group over the brow of a hill. Penny had been asked if she needed to accompany them, but had shaken her head shyly. It meant she now felt like a near-exploding water-balloon.

“They’ll tell us when it’s dug. It will not take long,” Eleniel reassured her. She could see that vaguely strained look round Penny’s eyes.

Sure enough within twenty minutes or so Penny saw the two ellyn return to the main group, speak to a few near them, pointing back in the direction they had come.

In the meantime, there was water to be fetched, and fires to be started. Penny took her sac and those of several others to the briskly flowing water nearby. Mireth and Eleniel came with her, also carrying several water sacs. Even if a sac was not empty it was filled to the brim.

Eleniel took the opportunity to explain to Penny how the latrine would work.

“It will be screened. Inside will be a pile of earth from where the hole has been dug. Fill a jug with water to take with you to wash, and use the little spade that will be left outside to cover over the latrine a little when you are finished. They will have picked some leaves to use as well. Remember, though, to put the spade back outside when you leave. That is how someone else knows no one is in there.”

Mireth laughed, “Well, yes, otherwise people could be standing there hopping about for quite some time before they realise.”

Penny still made a point for the rest of the journey of going to the latrine with at least one other person, though. Then they could stand outside and prevent anyone else from coming near. This was the general policy adopted by most, she discovered, and it made life a little easier for everyone.

A fire had been lit and a large pot was bubbling away with vegetables in it when Penny, Mireth and Eleniel returned from the latrine. As ever, someone was singing, now with a harp and flute being played in accompaniment. Penny settled herself in the crowd sitting around the fire in a loose circle of chatting groups. She spotted Lindir sitting almost opposite her. She had not had an opportunity to speak to him since this afternoon. She stood and crossed over to him.

“Lindir?”

He looked up at her, his jaw a little set, but his eyes kind.

“I wanted to apologise. It was wrong to speak to you like that, forgive me. I know you were only advising me to do what you thought was best. I am grateful for your concern.”

Lindir smiled and nodded. “I thank you, Pen-ii.” He patted the grass beside him and she sat next to him. “You seemed a little distracted this afternoon. More like you were in those first few weeks in Imladris. Is anything amiss?”

“No. Perhaps travelling again has unsettled me a little. It is the first time since...”

“...since Halbarad found you. I understand. Really.”

They fell into silence, listening to the song and watching the fire.

“When are we ever going to hear a song from you, Pen-ii?” smirked Lindir at her after some time. Penny was hugely grateful when Naurdir, who had been poking a spoon into the pot, saved her from a response by straightening to announce that food was ready.

They shared bowls. It saved on the washing up as well as on the amount to be carried with them on the journey. Three or four ate round each bowl of vegetable stew with hunks of bread fresh-baked in Imladris that morning. Afterwards, as several headed off to the stream to wash out the bowls and clean the spoons, there were more songs, and poetic recitations. It was much like any night in the Hall of Fire, only outside.

“Songs round the campfire,” Penny snickered to herself.

She suddenly had visions of elves with marshmallows on sticks singing ‘On Top of Spaghetti’ or ‘Ten Green Bottles’ at full volume. She buried her face into her knees to stop her laughter.

Erestor, sitting nearby, caught her eye and raised an eyebrow at her. She squeezed her eyes shut trying to keep control of herself, but she now had this vivid image in her head of Lindir in a sleeping-bag and that was just making matters worse.

She took a deep breath and steadied herself. As she did so, she felt a dig in the ribs from Lindir. “Erestor is beckoning you over... and whatever is making you laugh, control yourself before you get there: he has Lord Elrond and Glorfindel with him.”

She nodded, thanking Lindir who grinned back at her, as she stood and made her way over to them.

They were seated a little way apart from the others. Arwen was nearby and smiled up at Penny as she passed her.

“I trust you had a pleasant first day of travelling, Pen-ii?” she asked.

“Indeed, Lady Arwen. I thank you. I hope the same for you?”

Arwen nodded, and then rose to come with Penny to sit with her father and those with him.

“So, Pen-ii, how was it?” Erestor was asking. “A little different from travelling with one unwashed Dúnadan, I imagine?”

“Just a little,” Penny laughed quietly. “I am not terrified of the horse I am riding this time for a start.” She hesitated, then said quietly, “It is a little strange, I must confess, to be travelling once more.”

“Brings back memories?” asked Glorfindel gently.

“Well, yes. I found myself thinking about Halbarad for most of the afternoon, I must confess.” She looked up at them and found Elrond in particular was studying her closely. “Not only that, though. I... well... I know the direction we are taking, do I not? Both now and across the mountains?”

Erestor and Elrond exchanged the briefest of glances as Glorfindel nodded. Penny said nothing more, not wishing to be too explicit with that many pairs of sharp elvish ears in the near vicinity, but they all understood each other and she was correct: they were following in the footsteps of the Fellowship.

Yes, their ordeal was over and the trauma of it all was passed, but it was no less significant to Penny for that. It probably meant less even to those others who understood the path they were following. Not only was this a path they knew well, had known for many long centuries, but they also could not experience the same level of importance it held to Penny, dyed-in-the-wool Tolkien-fan that she was. This was where they walked, actually walked. For all she knew they may have rested in this self-same valley as they slept during the light of day.

She was lost in her own thoughts again. The others did not disturb her. She cast her mind back to when she had travelled with Halbarad, how she had been so distressed and disturbed by the knowledge that had slowly filtered through to her on their way to Imladris. This was not like that now, nowhere near it, indeed, but it was still unsettling.

No, not unsettling, or rather that was not the overwhelming emotion.

It was exciting. Thrilling. Exhilarating.

Penny suddenly realised, with a leap in her stomach, that this was going to be fantastic. She was walking the same path as the Fellowship, and doing so in the company of a whole load of elves. She let a smile spread over her face. The smile quickly developed into a beam, and then a broad grin.

At last the company started to drift away and settle down for the night. As Eleniel came over to get Penny, Erestor leaned over to her.

“By the way, I want you riding next to me at some point tomorrow. You are going to read me sections of those books I gave you.”

“Oh, Erestor,” Penny groaned, laughingly. “Can I not have a little break for a day or two? I am surrounded by Sindarin all the time now, and am learning every time I open my mouth or listen to others.”

“That is not the point,” Erestor wagged a finger at her, smilingly.

“He is right,” said Elrond, his face impassive but his eyes glinting with laughter in the firelight. “You have to keep up your reading and writing practice as well as your speaking and listening. You cannot write on top of a horse, it is true, but you can read.”

“I will believe that when I see it,” snorted Penny. “I am not an elf, I have no sense of balance. If I fall off my horse and land on my head tomorrow, it will be your fault Erestor.” They laughed as Eleniel dragged her off to the tent they were sharing.

There were at least twelve sleeping in each awning, bedrolls on the ground. Arwen, her two ladies in waiting, and Mireth were all in the same awning as Eleniel and Penny. In one corner there was a bucket of water, a bowl and a cup. Washing was done by using the cup to pour a little of the water into the bowl, and then taking a stand-up wash behind a sheet held up by two others: basic but functional. Several others in their tent had already done so before the meal apparently, and Eleniel and Penny now washed quickly. The water was freezing cold and, being in the open without a fire to stand in front of, meant Penny was quickly shivering and covered in goosebumps. It might be May, but it was only at the beginning of the month as well as being night time. This was not pleasant, Penny decided.

“When there is enough cover beside a river to screen us from others, then we can take a bath and wash our hair as well. We will take turns: males one day and females the next time,” Eleniel explained as they settled down on their bedrolls and under blankets.

Penny opened her mouth to say something, her eyes wide. Eleniel giggled at the expression of surprise on Penny’s face. Penny boggled at the idea, frankly. That would be interesting: stripping off to wash in a freezing cold mountain stream panicking that Lindir, Erestor or any one of the umpteen ellyn with them were about to come marching round the corner. Penny did not relish the prospect.

So she had the choice of either stinking to high heaven and offending sensitive elvish sensibilities, or freezing her backside off and probably getting a cold whether it was by standing naked and shivering behind a sheet or sitting naked and shivering in a mountain stream. With the latter she would also have the added thrill of worrying about flashing the entire male population of Imladris.

Suddenly she understood why humans did not wash at all while travelling. Only elves, so obsessed by cleanliness and their hair, would suffer such things. Added to which they would not feel the cold the way she did.

As Penny let her tiredness overwhelm her, she thought more about it all. She wondered if it they would all wash individually in the rivers. Given their numbers, it would possibly take them all night to do so. Penny now suspected that might mean it would be done communally. That meant she would have to strip off and share a freezing cold stream with a load of naked ellith, the prospect of which scared her nearly as much as the idea of an ellon getting an accidental glimpse of her in the buff.

‘Bloody elves,’ thought Penny. She could feel her nerves building just at the thought. Life here was nothing if not complicated, and even about the simplest things.

“Oh, for a proper bathroom with hot running water,” she murmured wistfully.

Listening to the sound of gentle rain that had begun pattering on the roof of their tent and the distant splashing of the stream, Penny drifted off to sleep.





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