Chapter 3 - “Under Starter’s Orders”

“Erestor, I need your help with something.”

Penny had gone to see the advisor almost immediately after she had finished rifling through her dresses. She had found him seated outside his study on a chair, reading in the early summer sun.

“I am not disturbing you, I hope?”

Erestor closed his book, carefully marking his place in it with a strip of ornately decorated leather that served him as a bookmark. He raised a curious eyebrow at her.

“Not at all, Pen-ii. What is it? Has Lord Elrond spoken to you about coming with us all?”

“He has, and that is what I wanted to talk to you about.” Penny settled herself on the step to his study and looked up at him. “It is a great honour, and I am very pleased, but I am worried. I presume I cannot be at the wedding without a present, I would have thought. What in Arda do I give them? I only have a week to find something.”

“‘What in Arda’, Pen-ii?” Erestor could not help but laugh. “Dear me, I think I shall have to have words with Lindir if you are picking up those kinds of expressions from him.” He grinned.

“Oh, stop it. Are you going to help me? This is serious,” said Penny, returning his grin.

“Of course it is. You should not worry, Pen-ii. Lady Arwen knows you have had little time to prepare anything. She will not expect anything from you. She would be concerned, I am sure, if she felt you were going to any trouble on her behalf.”

“That is not the issue, Erestor. I want to do this, especially if it is the convention, and I do not want to be the only one who does not give anything, even if it is only something small.”

Erestor regarded her for a moment. One thing that had been immediately apparent to them all, even just from Halbarad’s description of her behaviour with him in Bree and on the journey to Imladris, was that Penny could be wilful and stubborn. He could see a certain determined look in her eye at this moment and realised that there would be no persuading her. He would have to do what he could to help her find a suitable gift to take with her, even though she had only seven days to do so.

“Well, I am sure there may be something suitable in one of the workshops, something that would go well in the Tower of Ecthelion.”

Penny gave Erestor what could only have been described as ‘a withering look.’

“Erestor, if at all possible I would like to give her something... that is from me. Not something made by someone else, or given to me to give to her. I only wish I was truly skilled at something. I cannot hope to ever have the kind of skill that you elves have at most things.” She let her head drop into her hands. “Oh, this is hopeless!” she sighed.

Erestor looked at her. He had a suspicion she might have had an idea of a gift already, but was too shy or embarrassed to say what she was thinking of.

“What did you have in mind, Pen-ii?”

“You promise me you will not laugh? I want your honest opinion if you think it will be inappropriate.”

“I promise. What were you thinking?”

He prayed to the Valar she was not going to suggest the rag-rug she had made. He had no idea how tactful he could manage to be about that. He may be a diplomat of centuries of experience, but it would be hard not to hurt her feelings about its awfulness given the amount of time she had spent on it.

“Well... I am not very good with throwing pots, as you know, but I do have one vase I have made that is not so bad. Even the potters have told me so.” Erestor raised an eyebrow at her and she smirked. “Well, let’s just say it doesn’t wobble and is not too lop-sided.” Erestor laughed as Penny continued. “I have not decorated it yet. My decoration is not as good as the elvish style, of course, but well enough that some things that I have painted have sold at markets already. I was thinking... perhaps...” She looked at him doubtfully. “It’s a bad idea, isn’t it?”

“Not at all, Pen-ii,” said Erestor, just relieved and thankful that it wasn’t the rug.

He had seen some of the pots and bowls she had painted and had been pleasantly surprised. She had said to Mithrandir she had enjoyed art in her youth, and it was clear she had a little talent for it. The designs were, it was true, nothing like elvish ones. They were clearly mannish in their simplicity and boldness, and yet utterly unlike anything he had seen before: unique, really. As such, something decorated by her would be entirely appropriate. The palace would be filled with such things as vases and plates, of course, but that was not the point. The point was she would have made an effort to give Aragorn and Arwen something that was relevant or personal. He knew Arwen would be most touched by such a gesture, and Aragorn also.

“I think that it is a marvellous idea, I really do.”

He came with her, then, to the workshop to see the vase she was talking about. He discussed with her if it was suitable and in the end they decided that it perhaps was not well made enough, so he helped her choose an undecorated one made by the elvish potters.

“There was a bowl I had painted that Lady Arwen said she liked the pattern and colouring of: pale blue with little white and yellow flowers on it. I think I shall do the same design on this.” She looked at Erestor who nodded his approval. “Would it be too much, do you think, to have a line of poetry on it? Something from a love poem, maybe? I would have to ask you to choose for me, of course.”

“That is a delightful thought, Pen-ii. I shall think of something suitable for you.”

“Would you also write it on the vase for me? I do not trust my Tengwar with a brush on a curved surface and I want it to be perfect.”

Erestor agreed. Penny was thrilled and thanked him all the way back to the halls. The vase Erestor had chosen was small, and so easy to pack for travelling, but at least he had approved her idea of decorating it herself. It was a little thing, perhaps, but she wanted to make an effort for a present for them. Especially after all the kindness and support Arwen had shown her.

She was surprised that evening when, after supper, Mireth and Eleniel dragged her off to Eleniel’s chambers.

“What is it, you two?”

The two ellith exchanged a grin.

“Well, Pen-ii, I didn’t say anything earlier, because I needed to check what I had first,” Eleniel began as Mireth closed the door. “That green dress you chose today is the best of the ones you have and will certainly do well enough, but I thought you might like a new one for the wedding itself.”

Penny’s jaw near hit the floor.

“Don’t look so surprised, Pen-ii,” laughed Mireth. “You know we always have a few dresses ready-made in case of visitors or someone needs a new one for some reason. Eleniel has found one that will suit you perfectly. It is only a shame there is not enough time to make you a completely new one.” Hand-sewing a dress would, indeed, take a lot longer than a week.

Eleniel went to her wardrobe and pulled out a deep red dress. It had a little embroidery on the cuffs and round the neck in white and gold: nothing too fancy, but certainly enough to make it more splendid than any dress Penny had been given so far.

“Oh, but it’s beautiful,” Penny gasped, coming over to it and taking it from Eleniel. The two elves watched her astonishment and delight with wide grins. Penny glanced up at Eleniel. “Thank you so much, Eleniel. I am... touched. Really. This is too much.”

“Nonsense. It was just sitting there collecting dust, so it is as well you should have it.”

Penny knew that was a slight exaggeration, but thanked her all the same.

“It will need a little adjusting,” Eleniel continued. “It is far too long, of course, and will need a little fixing to shape it correctly for your figure, but most can be done before we leave, and the rest I can do on the journey. It will take us two months to get there, nearly, so I will have plenty of time.”

Penny was looking forward to the fact that she would be travelling with so many people she knew.

Bilbo would not be coming, of course. From the day Barad-dûr had fallen, he had started to age considerably. Penny and he still played draughts of an evening now and then, though outside usually now that the weather was so much milder. A few elves would be remaining also, to maintain the halls and gardens and to care for the animals such as the chickens, geese and ducks, so Bilbo would have company.

“It is a shame you will not be there to see it,” Penny said one afternoon over tea. Mireth, who was with her, agreed.

“No, I will not make long journeys again, my dear,” said Bilbo. “I would like to be there, true enough, but it is too far. You will have to tell me all about it when you come back, though. I shall have to write it all down.”

“I am sure there will be others here who might be able to do that better than I. Maura will tell you everything you could want to know, I am sure.”

Bilbo nodded, a warm smile on his face, but said nothing.

Preparations had already been under way for weeks, now. Given the number of people going, there was a lot to be done. Food needed to be prepared, for a start. Early fruit crops were picked and prepared, jars of stored fruits, dried fruits and nuts were now brought out from storerooms and readied. Penny was roped in to help make 'cram': it was prepared on large square trays that filled an entire shelf in the massive ovens. Once cooled it was cut into squares and wrapped in leaves.

Four days before they left, Erestor carefully painted on the line of poetry he had found for her vase. At Penny’s request he had found a suitable line from the Lay of Leithian. She was concerned it might not be an appropriate choice of poem but Erestor assured her than Arwen would love it. The vase was glazed and fired later that same day. Erestor admired it when it was done and said he thought it entirely suitable. Penny beamed.

“So, should I give her this now, or later? At Minas Tirith? On the wedding day itself? How are things done? I don’t want to offend anyone.”

“You must not worry yourself so much, Pen-ii,” laughed Erestor. “Really, we elves are not so caught up in formalities as the humans you will meet. We have our ceremonies and traditions, but we are far more relaxed and fluid in our dealings with each other. Just wait till you reach Minas Tirith: Mithrandir and Aragorn could have told you, but it is there, not here, you will have to worry about what you do or say and to whom and how. You can present your gift to Arwen whenever you feel it would be most appropriate. Some are still giving their gifts to her now, some did so quite some time ago, others will not be given till we reach Gondor. It is up to you.”

In the end Penny decided she would give it to her before they left. That way Arwen could discreetly leave it at Imladris if she did not like it.

She spoke to Mireth and Eleniel about it, and they both said they had yet to give their gifts to Arwen.

“We shall give them to her together, if you wish,” smiled Mireth. Penny felt relieved. Her gift would not match theirs, but at least it would not make such a big thing of it than if it was presented by itself.

That evening, just before supper, the three went to their chambers to fetch their gifts and then, meeting at the bottom of the stairs, made their way to the small clearing with the fountain where they knew Arwen would be. A few other elves were already there, presenting her with this or that, and Penny realised that this was clearly a pre-arranged thing since Elrond, Erestor and Glorfindel were all there also, admiring the various gifts as they were given.

Mireth gave Arwen a bracelet she had had made in the shape of intertwined flower buds. Eleniel had made Arwen a beautiful shawl with detailed embroidery on it that must have taken even someone of her skill quite some time to do. As she presented it she explained that this was actually on behalf of several ellith, not just herself, since a group of them had worked on it together. Penny stepped forward and said little as she presented her vase. She did not want to make a big thing of it, given it was hardly comparable to anything else she could see Arwen had been given. Arwen, though, realised immediately it was her own design work.

“Oh, I loved this pattern when you showed me the bowl you had done. Thank you so much, Pen-ii. It is delightful.” She read the line of poetry on it and beamed at her. “Most appropriate. I thank you, Pen-ii.” Penny smiled.

Looking up she caught Erestor’s eye. He grinned at her and nodded his head as if to say ‘I told you so.’ Penny moved round to him.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

“Not at all, Pen-ii,” he chuckled.

The next day, with Mireth, Eleniel and Arwen’s help and advice, Penny began to pack. She had next to nothing to take, of course, but her three pairs of shoes and six dresses. Arwen advised her to take them all.

“You do not know how long you may stay, Pen-ii. It may be you find you prefer the company of men rather than elves. You would be most welcome in Minas Tirith, I am sure.”

Penny had faltered a little at that, and looked at Arwen quizzically. She wondered if, in fact, she had been invited for reasons other than just to view the scenery and other places in Middle-earth. She could have stayed behind with Bilbo, if they had so chosen. Arwen had sensed her change of mood. She gave Penny a warm smile.

“Do not fear, Pen-ii. You will not be forced to live anywhere you would not wish to be, and Imladris will be your home for as long as wish to stay.”

“I thank you, Lady Arwen,” said Penny, but she was a little worried now.

“You must also consider anything in your chamber to be yours to take with you, Pen-ii. So, please, take the hand mirror, the comb, towels, or anything else that you feel you will need. I know Mireth has supplied you with scented oil and shampoo already. You will find such things in short supply amongst the men, or not nearly of the same quality. It would be an idea to fill up your bottles when we reach Lothlórien as well.”

Penny smiled, then. Mireth had indeed supplied Penny with a little wooden box with three, large stoppered pots in it: shampoo, conditioner and scented oil. It also contained a large bar of soap wrapped in a kind of cheesecloth. Elvish views on human hygiene were well known to her now. Both Mireth and Eleniel had been appalled and disgusted by Penny’s description of Bree. They had heard it was bad, but to hear Penny’s eyewitness account of it had confirmed that humans were no cleaner than animals as far as they were concerned. Neither was particularly looking forward to visiting Minas Tirith or Edoras.

“Gondor might not be so bad,” Eleniel said doubtfully, “but I can remember Aragorn talking about Edoras after he first went there. Mithrandir could tell you tales about that place that would make your hair stand on end, Pen- ii.”

Penny was alarmed. She had got very used to the comforts of Imladris. She did not imagine Lothlórien would be much different, but would she be back to nightmare latrines and latherless soap further south? She remembered Saruman’s comment to the effect that the Rohirrim were filthy lowlife with dogs everywhere. There were all the horses too, of course... which would mean piles of horseshit everywhere, presumably...

Once more Penny felt she was not looking forward to this, though for entirely different reasons now. Her one small comfort was that, if it turned out to be as bad as she, Mireth and Eleniel feared, the elves would be just as appalled by it all as she would be if not more so. That could be quite an amusing sight to see: a hundred elves, or more, having to deal with latrines of the kind she had dealt with in Bree. It suddenly occurred to her that Elladan (he who had seen fit to wash his comb in front of her) had had to deal with Edoras already as well as Helm’s Deep. She could just imagine Aragorn and Halbarad wetting themselves as Elrohir and Elladan went about the place with cloths tied over their noses and disgusted expressions on their faces. Penny started snickering just at the thought.

Mireth had also given Penny a few sachets of herbs to take with her. One was herbs for any pain or aches. She had also given her some salve and balm because, as she said, it was always useful to have these things about you since you never knew when you might need them. The balm, apparently, was particularly good on aching muscles and sore skin.

“You’ll need it after a few weeks riding or walking, Pen-ii, I can promise you,” Mireth had smiled.

The largest of the sachets, filled with the herbs Penny took once a month to ease her period pain, made her realise, to her horror, that she was going to have to deal with that while on the move. Being able to wash cloths in the privacy of her chambers and then leaving them to dry in front of the fire where no one could see them was one thing. She had got used to that completely. Now, though, she would have to try and dry them while in the middle of an open-air camp with umpteen males wandering about.

It was two days before they left. Penny was in the dressmaking workshop, being fitted for the red dress again so Eleniel could check it had been taken up to the correct length. Arwen had just come in to discuss a few things and, after admiring Penny’s dress, the two walked back to the halls together.

“It suits you, Pen-ii. I think Eleniel has chosen very well for you.”

“I thank you, Lady Arwen.” Penny paused. “Can I ask you something?”

“But of course, Pen-ii. What is it?”

“It’s... well... I imagine it is something an elleth would never have to deal with, and you may not know what to advise me, but we will be travelling long enough for me to have two bleeds before we reach Minas Tirith. I am at a loss as to how to deal with it. Here it is easy enough to keep it from being known. I realise the ellyn understand these things happen – that is life – but I would prefer to be as... private as possible about it all. Having to wash and dry cloths while keeping it private will not be easy. Perhaps not possible at all. I do not want to embarrass them... or myself.”

“I understand entirely, Pen-ii. Though, as you say, they would understand and not be embarrassed in the least. That first time here, with Erestor, he was more embarrassed because he had made a fuss over it all without realising what was happening than anything else. The other elleth and I will help you to be discrete. The main thing will be drying the cloths, of course. You will see that we will sleep separately – the males from the females – while travelling. It should be easy enough to place the cloths over or near our own fire every evening and nighttime. We shall manage, I am sure.”

Penny nodded, somewhat relieved. With all of them working together on the problem she felt confident that they would manage to be as discrete as could be possible in such a situation.

Penny had so little to take with her that she shared a bag with both Eleniel and Mireth for her clothes. She, being the only one with a saddle, also had two large saddlebags to pack. She was advised to keep her toiletries and anything she may need every day in them, so she packed her box of soaps and oils in there, as well as a small flannel and one towel. The comb, mirror and razor were in there also.

On the other side she packed her sheaf of papers of Sindarin vocabulary, her Sindarin reader and also Erestor’s latest gift to her. He had called her into his study the day before they were due to leave.

“This will be your first time outside of Imladris since you came here,” he had said to her. “Eru knows what you will make of it all, or if you will come back here.”

Penny looked at him sharply. He was now the second person to say that to her. Was something else going on here that she did not know about?

“In any case, I thought you might like these. A gift. I will expect you to read from them while we are travelling, to keep up your lessons, but I think you will enjoy having them also.” He then presented her with two books.

One, she was stunned and delighted to see, was a copy of Quenta Silmarillion. There were maps and one or two illustrations, just simple ink and pen line drawings, of Gondolin, Doriath and other major cities or places of note. The other, since he knew it was one of her favourite tales, was the entire Tale of Tuor and the Fall of Gondolin.

She had tears in her eyes.

“Thank you, Erestor. Really. I... I don’t know what to say. Thank you. I will treasure them.”

“I know you will,” he smiled.

As she made her way to dinner that evening, she mulled over the fact that both Arwen and Erestor had now hinted at the possibility of her not returning to Imladris. Was this just them thinking she might prefer to be with human company? Or had something been discussed about her, in her absence, to the effect that it might be better for her to stay in Gondor than with the elves? She could not stay in Rivendell indefinitely, she supposed. Elrond had shown her much kindness in allowing her to stay even as long as she had. Now the war was over these were issues that needed to be addressed. She felt a wave of nerves hit her. Perhaps she would be persuaded not to come back here. Would she ever see Imladris again?

After the meal, in which she was noticeably quiet, despite Lindir’s best efforts to get her chatting, she sat in the Hall of Fire with Bilbo listening to the songs. Elrond and Erestor were not there, she noticed, and after a little while she decided she needed to talk to them about this. She knew they would only have her best interests at heart, but she felt this needed to be discussed. She also had a right to know if something had been decided without her.

She checked the few smaller antechambers in case they were using them, as was often the case, but found them empty. The only places left were their own private studies. The laughter and low talking from behind Erestor’s chamber door told her where they were. She knocked and waited.

“Come in,” Erestor called.

Penny opened the door and stuck her head round it. She could see Elrond, Erestor and Glorfindel were all sharing a flagon of wine, seated on a blanket they had spread on the grass just outside the door that led to the gardens.

“Forgive me, am I disturbing you?”

“Not at all, Pen-ii. Would you care for some wine?” Elrond replied. Without even waiting for her response, Glorfindel stood and entered Erestor’s study to fetch her a goblet from the cabinet where they were kept.

“I thank you, that is most kind,” Penny replied, crossing the study to join them outside and sit on the blanket next to Erestor as he had indicated for her to do. Glorfindel followed her with a cup in his hand and handed it to Erestor who then poured her some wine.

“Are you looking forward to travelling?” Glorfindel asked her as he seated himself once more.

“Very much,” she nodded. “A little nervous, perhaps, but more excited, I think.” The three ellyn smiled.

“What are you looking forward to seeing most, do you think?” asked Elrond.

Penny considered for a moment and then, with a slight laugh had to admit that she really did not know.

“Lothlórien, I think, since it is so hard to imagine what it might be like, but since all the places we will see are part and parcel of the story I know so well, it will all be wonderful and strange. Just like when I first came here.” Penny paused before adding hesitantly, “It... it may be a little overwhelming for me, you do realise that?”

“Yes, Pen-ii, we are well aware of it,” said Erestor kindly. “But there will be many there with you who know your story, and others who have become good friends and will be there if you need them. Besides, it is a little different for you now, perhaps, since you can communicate and you have already had to accept where you are and what you are surrounded by. It is not quite the same as those first few days or weeks here in Imladris were for you.”

“Yes, that is true. Even so... seeing... seeing Mordor, the Pelennor and places like it will be a little difficult...”

“They will be difficult for us all, Pen-ii, though for different reasons, perhaps,” said Elrond quietly.

There was a brief silence.

“Lord Elrond,” said Penny at last. “May I discuss something with you?”

Elrond looked at her quizzically and nodded.

“It’s nothing, perhaps, but Lord Erestor and Lady Arwen have both mentioned something to me that as made me think. I... I don’t really know how to begin, but... well... what is to become of me?” She kept her gaze firmly fixed on her cup of wine and did not see the slight glance exchanged between the three ellyn as she spoke. “I realise it was not, perhaps, a decision that could be made before the war ended, but now...”

Elrond shifted himself slightly before speaking. “Pen-ii, the decision will be yours. I am not going to pretend it has not been discussed. It is, I must confess, one of the reasons why we asked you to accompany us all, though not the chief one, I hasten to add.”

Penny felt her heart sink. So she had been right.

“I had planned to discuss this with you in Minas Tirith,” Elrond continued. “I was not going to say anything to you about it till then since I did not want you to think we were trying to make you leave Imladris against your will. Far from it. You are welcome to stay as long as you wish. If you want to make this your permanent home I would be happy to allow you to stay. However, we felt it only fair that you be given the choice... and to make that choice you need to know what the choices are. You can only do that by seeing the possibilities for yourself, I think you would agree. Wherever you decide to settle, you will need to have people near you who know your story, so your choice will be between staying here in the North with us, or moving to Minas Tirith with Aragorn and Arwen. You will be as well provided for there as here, I can assure you. I had planned to discuss this with Mithrandir and Aragorn, though, before I broached it with you. I wanted their opinion and advice. They may think it better you stay with us here, rather than risk much interaction with the humans of Arda given your circumstances and background.”

Penny was not entirely sure why she felt so upset about all this. Part of her was fairly furious that this had all been discussed behind her back, but she realised that no decisions had been made, nor would they have been made without her full involvement. She still felt she should have been told.

All three elves could sense her resentment.

“Forgive me if I have upset you,” said Lord Elrond.

“Not at all,” Penny smiled.

They could tell she was being polite, but gave her credit for not expressing her true feelings. All three were struck by the difference between this and the woman they had first met, who would have been screaming and shouting her disapproval almost instantly, and especially if Halbarad had been with them.

“Well, I cannot comment on the peoples of the south,” Penny continued quietly, “but if the humans of the north are anything to go by, I think I have more in common with elves.”

“How so, Pen-ii?” asked Erestor.

“Well, you believe in washing for a start.”

They laughed loudly at that.

“Well, yes, that is true enough,” chuckled Elrond. He regarded Penny for a moment. “Forgive me, Pen-ii, perhaps I should have spoken to you before now. I did not want you to think you were not welcome here. You are. I hope you know that.”

“I thank you, Lord Elrond,” she nodded. “I do. Do not think me ungrateful. You have been most kind and courteous to me. I have not deserved it, and yet you have taken me in and looked after me. I... I am very honoured and I can never repay you.”

“It was the least we could do for you, Pen-ii. It is Halbarad you have to thank, though, in truth. It was his decision to bring you here. He could have left you in any one of the small human settlements in Eriador.”

“I know,” said Penny, her voice suddenly quiet.

Others joining them, who had been out for a walk in the gardens and so discovered them from the outside, interrupted their discussion. Arwen was amongst them, as were Celebdor, Mireth and Eleniel, and a pleasant and entertaining evening was spent in telling tales, jests and deep discussions on utterly frivolous matters.

Tomorrow morning, early, they would set off and Penny would be with them. Ahead of her she faced new experiences, new places and new peoples. Now she knew she could even possibly be travelling to a new home.