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Okay, NOW Panic!  by Boz4PM

Chapter 5 - “The ‘Dorwinion Barrel’ Escapade”


It was an early start, of course. Penny was still groggy as she rolled inelegantly out of her blanket at Eleniel’s gentle insistence. She had forgotten quite how horribly uncomfortable sleeping on nothing but a bedroll could be.

She looked about her blearily to see most of the ellith were already dressed and even those that were not looked immaculate. Penny - tired, achy and so not in the best of moods - glowered at them. She had two bloody months of this: waking up, feeling about as attractive as a troll, only to see gloriously beautiful visions of femininity.

“Do I have time for a wash?” she grumbled at Eleniel.

“Yes, if you are quick.”

Mireth and another elleth held up the sheet for her, while Penny washed. As she started pulling a comb through her hair, there were loud male voices outside, which indicated the awning was about to be pulled down on top of her if she did not move ‘quick smart.’ She gathered her belongings and hurried out, plonking herself up against a nearby tree to finish dealing with her hair.

Eleniel had trimmed it for her a few times already, but it was kept long these days, far longer than Penny had ever had her hair. It meant it was a bugger to keep unknotted, though, given how fine it was, and she would dearly have loved to have a good bristled brush rather than one tiny comb.

She was busy yanking the comb against a tangle when there was a chuckle and mild tutting from nearby. She looked up to see Lindir, Erestor and Celebdor watching her with mild amusement, shaking their heads at her.

“What?!” she snapped with mild irritation.

She still had not woken up properly and, frankly, the last thing she needed at the moment was smug elves. She strongly suspected this was smug, beautiful, ‘dear me, what ARE you doing to your hair?’ elves... which was even worse.

“Oh, shut up,” she muttered. She used Sindarin so they could understand her.

Lindir came over to her, laughing. “Pen-ii, you cannot treat your hair so brutally. Here, let me.” He held out his hand for the comb.

She looked at him in astonishment, annoyance and complete embarrassment. What, was she six years old again, that she needed to be taught how to brush her own hair!

“Sod OFF, Lindir!”

Lindir was a little taken aback by this reaction. Even though he had not understood the language, the sentiment was clear enough. As if to prove a point, she yanked hard at the knot, ripping the comb through it and taking the knot with it caught on the comb’s teeth. There was wincing and hissing from the males as she did it.

“It did not hurt,” she lied, not even looking at them.

“That is beside the point,” muttered Erestor, still wincing a little.

“Leave her, Lindir,” said Celebdor. “If she wants her hair to be full of split ends and looking like a crow’s nest, let her get on with it.” Penny glared at him.

“Now, look, you,” she snapped at Celebdor, waving her comb at him. “I am not in the best of tempers when I have just woken up, as Halbarad learned to his cost. Give me thirty minutes or so and I might manage to be more civil. In the meantime, leave me and my horrible hair alone.”

Raised eyebrows, amused snickers and hands held up in apology were the response before the three males wandered off to get breakfast. Penny had been quite deliberate in who, of the three, she had directed her invective towards, though. Erestor might be a friend, but there were limits.

“Bloody elves,” muttered Penny to their retreating backs. She had a horrible suspicion that was going to become her motto for the journey.

Breakfast consisted of fruit, bread and jam, water and cram. Penny sat next to Mireth and Eleniel, her hair now presentable and tied back with a ribbon into a ponytail. She noticed Lindir and Celebdor, who were seated opposite the three, glance at her hair.

“Meet with your approval now?” she smiled. They chuckled.

“There was no need to be quite so sharp, Pen-ii. I was only trying to help.”

“Yes, Lindir, but you made me feel like a little girl. You are worse than my mother at times.” There was loud laughter from round them at that comment and Lindir, though he tried to look insulted, could not help but join in.

“My apologies, Pen-ii,” he chuckled.

“And I apologise also, but you’d best learn now that some humans, and I include myself in that, need a while to wake up before they can respond in an intelligent and pleasant way to anything more than a ‘good morning.’ In Imladris you only saw me at breakfast, after I had been awake for a while. Having you lot mothering me and sniggering over my hair when I have been barely awake five minutes I can do without, if truth be told.”

Erestor, sitting nearby them and listening, commented, “You forget, Pen-ii, we had Aragorn stay with us in Imladris from childhood. He can be very bad- tempered first thing in the morning.”

“Only when he has been drinking the night before,” Lindir pointed out.

“Which goes for most people, whether ellon or adan,” snickered Celebdor, looking pointedly at Lindir. There was much giggling in response to his comment.

“Are you saying I drink a lot?” Lindir raised an eyebrow at his friend.

“No,” smirked Celebdor. “Just more than some, perhaps.”

“More than most,” chuckled Erestor, now fully involved in the conversation. Glorfindel, seated next to him said nothing, but was clearly just as entertained by it all. Lindir glared at the Advisor, which in itself showed both how close the two were as well as how highly held Lindir was in terms of station.

“I see,” Lindir said, a smile playing on his lips, and his tone blasé. “So, we will not mention the Eryn Lasgalen ‘Dorwinion Barrel’ Escapade,’ then?”

Erestor coloured slightly and narrowed his eyes at Lindir.

“No. We will not,” he said menacingly.

There was much hilarity over this and Penny was intrigued. Erestor getting pissed enough on Dorwinion to embarrass himself? What a thought! She looked at Lindir with her eyebrows raised and a smirk on her face. Lindir caught her eye and grinned.

“Don’t you dare,” warned Erestor to Lindir, having seen the look that passed between the two.

“Now, would I, Erestor?” sniggered Lindir.

“Yes, frankly, you would,” muttered Erestor clearly very uncomfortable with the idea that Penny might be told what had occurred.

“On a scale of one to ten, Lindir,” sniggered Penny, deciding to help Erestor out, “with a ‘ten,’ perhaps, being an ellon being found naked and drunk on a river bank by the daughter of the Lord of Imladris...”

Everybody fell about at this and Lindir turned bright red.

“...What number would you give Erestor’s story?”

Penny beamed at Lindir with her sweetest smile. She loved upsetting him, though she would not have been quite so bold with her words if there had been more elves sitting with them. Since there were only a few, and they were all close friends of Lindir, she considered it safe enough. She also felt it only fair to try and defend Erestor a little. He had been so kind and was a good friend to her. Erestor was now grinning his head off and Lindir was glaring at her, though she could tell he was also trying to fight back a smile.

“Well played and well said,” was all Lindir said at last. Erestor, catching Penny’s eye, smiled broadly and nodded gratefully at her.

“Do not think I won’t try and find out what it was though, Lord Erestor,” she laughed at him. “And you elves are such gossips I am sure I will learn of it soon enough.” Erestor groaned and shook his head at her with a chuckle.

“You are getting far too familiar with us, you do know that,” said Celebdor sitting beside her, snickering.

“Well, I only treat you the way you treat me,” she replied.

It was true, as well. As formal or polite as they could be at times, elves were also gossipy, witty and endlessly teasing or playing small pranks on each other. This was as true for the adults as the youngsters; indeed there were not many elflings in Imladris. Two were nearing their majority and were more youths than children. Of the other three, only two were males and one was really quite young still at a mere eleven years old. They could be mischievous if they put their mind to it, but so far there had been no major incident that Penny was aware of that they had been party too.

It seemed that Lindir and the twins, though, had built up quite a reputation over the years.

Penny had it on good authority that Elladan and Elrohir had been particularly mischievous in their early youth, which she found hard to believe, especially given Elladan’s attitude most of the time. She had, however, seen Lindir at work on more than one occasion and thus knew what elves could be capable of. She still did not believe anyone had been quite so bold as to put colouring in Glorfindel’s shampoo, even if it did happen five hundred years ago.

“Well, it serves him right for having blond hair,” was all Lindir had said to her about it.

Penny had instantly suspected Lindir had been the main culprit and mastermind behind that particular prank. A green-haired, roaring Balrog- slayer: THAT must have been a sight to behold.

Soon enough breakfast was done, and they were loaded up and heading off once more. The scenery was much the same as it had been the previous afternoon, and indeed would change little for the two weeks it would take them to reach Hollin.

Now and then the path became very narrow, running as it did between banks of thorns, and at such times the long train would be stretched even thinner. For the first time Penny realised that ellyn were spaced out all along the train. There was also a congregation of them at the front and end of the procession, with baggages and females kept in between the two. On those occasions when they had to narrow to one or two abreast, there was an ellyn every two or three females along in the train, and those on horseback would sometimes move up and down the line to check all was well.

She asked Lindir about it.

“Well, it is standard practice. You know well that there is little to fear these days, now that Sauron has fallen. Even so, we must be careful. There are still wolves and orcs about, though it would be unusual indeed to encounter any here. Even before Sauron’s fall they were not seen in this region except in the last year before the War.” He glanced at her, and could see she found all this a little nerve-wracking and alarming. “Do not fear, Pen-ii. We know what we are doing.” He grinned. “We have been doing it for a very long time, do not forget.”

“I know. Do not think I do not. It is just I am not used to such things.”

Not for the first time Lindir wondered at this. He folded his arms, even as he sat astride his stallion and looked at her, his brows slightly furrowed.

“Do you have no enemies or wild animals where you come from, then? I find it odd that you have never travelled or seen people do so, or else that your people do not protect their own as we do here. What we are doing is no different from that which anyone would do in a large, moving company. I have even seen orcs behave in a similar fashion with prisoners: they are kept in the middle, while the strongest warriors are kept front and back or moving up and down and the line. This is standard practice, surely?”

“Yes, yes, of course. Yes, you are right,” muttered Penny hurriedly.

She hated being so close to Lindir now and him not knowing about her. There was something about him that meant he hit too near the bone sometimes, in a way that even Mireth or Eleniel did not achieve. More than once she had considered talking to Elrond or Erestor about it and asking whether they thought she could tell him about herself. Once again the thought flitted through her head.

“The practices of my people are very different. You know that. I have told you so.”

“Indeed, and yet you seem reticent to explain them. I will not press you, because it is clear it makes you uncomfortable. I am sad sometimes, though, that you feel you cannot talk to me. I had hoped we were better friends than that, Pen-ii, in truth.”

She looked at him.

“Do not say such things, Lindir. That is not fair. Really, it is not. You are my friend, and I am happy and honoured that you are. I... you see... it is difficult.” Her voice fell a little so that only he might hear her. “My life before was so strange that you would be shocked and probably disbelieve most of what I told you. Lord Elrond has advised me not to speak of it. To anyone.”

Lindir looked at her for a moment. This was not the first time she had said this to him, and he had no choice but accept it. He was one of the few who had picked up strong sensations of her strangeness, much as Legolas had done. He knew there was more to her, if only by the way she behaved: she had far more in common with elves than most humans he knew, let alone her boldness which meant she was nothing like any human female he had encountered.

“I understand, Pen-ii. Forgive me for pressing you or making you feel uncomfortable.”

She smiled at him, and he smiled back. To break the mood, he launched into a song and Penny listened happily enough to him sing a ballad on the beauty of Nargothrond.

After lunch, she walked for a little while, letting Eleniel ride her horse. When she climbed back into the saddle, Penny was pondering on something she had noticed. It had flashed through her mind yesterday, but she had thought perhaps it was a one-off. She had been vaguely aware of birds in the trees when they had made camp last night, but thought little of it. Now she realised it was happening again, indeed had not stopped all day.

Wherever they went, there were animals visible and nearby. Butterflies flittered past, while birds were flying overhead or else landing on bushes nearby and singing happily. Through out the day she had seen rabbits, a hare, two deer, even some voles and mice peeping through the bushes now and then, or even moving alongside them on occasion. The animals were not congregating in great numbers, nor even there continuously, but the fact that these were wild animals that seemed unafraid, curious and even happy to be so close to them meant it had to be more than coincidence. She compared this to when she had travelled with Halbarad and had seen little wildlife that she noticed.

Birds were talked to as they alighted nearby, indeed near every animal was noticed or spoken to in some way by at least one elf that walked or rode past them. A doe was standing by the path even now as they wound their way into yet another deep valley. Penny could see it ahead of her sometimes trotting along beside them all, sometimes stopping to watch as they went past. Many stopped to speak low words to the animal, patting or stroking her head, while the doe nuzzled into hands, clearly delighted and responding to the attention.

It was wonderful. Penny had no idea quite how to respond to it all, so she just enjoyed it, delighted and utterly overwhelmed by it all.

“Pen-ii!”

A voice broke through the reverie and she looked up to see Erestor had stilled his horse and was waiting for her on a sward of grass near the path they were taking. He had been riding ahead with Elrond and Glorfindel for the most part. Now, as Penny came towards him, she commanded her horse to stop beside him.

“Well, are you ready? For your lesson?”

Penny groaned. She had prayed he might have forgotten, but knew it would be too much to hope for. She had put her leggings on this morning just in case, though, and was glad she had remembered. If he thought she was going to hold a book and read from it while trying to sit sidesaddle, he had a screw loose. She got off the horse.

“Which one?” she asked him as she opened the saddlebag to get out one of the two books.

“I will leave that entirely up to you. Whichever you would prefer.”

Since she had read, or had read to her, only parts of ‘The Tale of Tuor and his Coming to Gondolin,’ she pulled that one out.

“Tuor, I think, in that case,” she said as she grabbed hold of the saddle to pull herself up.

She handed the book to Erestor to hold so she had both hands free to rearrange her skirts once astride the horse. Erestor watched her with a little amusement and raised an eyebrow at her as she turned to him at last to get the book off him.

“I am not riding sidesaddle while reading at the same time. This is dangerous enough already, as far as I am concerned. I would walk and do this except I would probably trip over and break my neck.”

Erestor laughed in response.

As they started off again, Penny felt very nervous about not holding the reins and letting the horse walk its own course even though she knew she had nothing to worry about. Apart from the superb training the horse would have had, it was entirely surrounded by the moving train and would be carried along by the momentum.

“Do not fear, Pen-ii. She will carry on whether you direct her or not,” Erestor reassured her.

“I know that, Erestor. Do not think I do not. It does not stop me from feeling anxious, though.” She took in a deep breath and decided to make a start. “Right. Where from?”

“From the beginning, naturally enough. Come along. Let us make a start.” Erestor was suddenly in tutor mode.

Penny wobbled a little, and it felt distinctly odd to be rolling along, a book in both hands. She was not sure how long she could keep this up. She had to concentrate to make out the Sindarin script and it was made all the more difficult by the movement. At one point she looked up to Erestor.

“This would be easier when I was still and on the ground, you realise. Can we do this over lunch, or early in the evenings?”

“Carry on. We will talk about this later,” was the only response.

After nearly four pages, Penny was feeling distinctly unwell. If she were not on a horse and in Middle-earth she would say she was seasick or carsick. She put the book down in her lap.

“I need to get off,” she said quietly.

“Of course,” said Erestor hurriedly, taking one look at Penny and seeing how pale she had suddenly gone. He reached over to take the book from her and they both stopped their horses as Penny got off the saddle a bit shakily.

Mireth had seen them stop. She had been walking next to Naurdir, both listening to Penny’s reading, and they came over to see what was amiss. Penny felt faintly foolish to have everyone concerned for her.

“I am well, I assure you. It was the movement. The movement and reading at the same time. I feel a little sick. Just give me a moment.” She looked at Mireth. “I will walk for a bit. Do you want to ride?”

Mireth gratefully accepted the offer, gracefully climbing into the saddle, while Penny started walking beside her. Erestor had got off his horse and walked alongside her, his stallion following without Erestor even commanding it to do so.

“My apologies Pen-ii,” he said quietly.

“Do not apologise. I am well. It was the movement while reading, that was all. It happens. Like in a boat. Perhaps I will get used to it if we do this every day. If not, then I think no more than two pages or possibly three each time. It is difficult to make out the Sindarin when the book is moving about.” She tried a faint smile.

“Of course. Well, if we ever camp early enough for there still to be good light when everything is set up and arranged, then perhaps we can follow your suggestion of reading a little when we are not on the move. There is much to be done each time we set up camp, though, so it will not always be possible.”

“Well, I am not suggesting we stop this, only that I cannot do four pages or more at a time.”

“I realise, Pen-ii.” He flashed her a smile. “I know you work hard at your Sindarin. I have told you before you have improved superbly.”

Penny smiled shyly and thanked him. Erestor spent the rest of the day walking along beside her.

After a few hours they set up camp once more, again on a valley floor, only this time the awnings were set up on a large expanse of grass beside some trees. Not as many were put up as before, Penny noticed.

“It will not rain tonight,” explained Celebdor. “Many will sleep under the stars tonight.” Penny opened her mouth in astonishment, and then mentally scolded herself for being so surprised. Of course they would be able to tell the weather in advance to a certain extent.

A nearby river tributary, a tumbling stream of fast flowing water, pooled a little behind the trees. It was declared that this was screened enough for washing. When Eleniel informed Penny of this fact her heart sank.

“It may be some time before we find another place suitable, so we might as well take advantage,” she was saying. “I for one will wash my hair, even if it does not need it, rather than wait.”

It was still relatively early and there was nearly an hour of daylight left. Erestor made no mention of reading to Penny, indeed the males seemed to have gathered themselves together in a mass of chattering groups: some cutting vegetables for cooking, others reading or laughing together, still more were playing or watching an elvish version of dominoes and one was singing.

They were leaving the females to get on with bathing, in effect.

Penny was more than alarmed when she saw six or seven ellith, armed with swords and their bows on their backs, heading towards the direction of the stream.

“Well, we still have to be careful,” Mireth said in answer to her question.

“And we certainly do not want any ellyn guarding us within sight of us!” said Arwen who had passed near them as Mireth had spoken. There was gentle laughter at that comment.

Penny, along with everyone else, was armed instead with her towel, soap and shampoo as they headed through the trees. One or two ellyn were around, with weapons, but keeping well away from the water and so out of sight. They were nearby if they were needed, though.

When they reached the water, two ellith were already there, soaping down and rinsing their hair in the water. Penny did her level best not to look. She could feel her cheeks burning with embarrassment at the prospect of this. She was no prude, but she had always felt uncomfortable about stripping off in front of people. She hated having to do it at the doctor’s and she loathed having to do it at the gym. She was the one diving for a cubicle or else wrapping a towel round herself while super-fit, well-toned (and invariably ridiculously tanned) women wandered about bare-arsed in front of everyone.

Penny shuddered at the memory.

Worse than that, though, these ellith would be insanely beautiful, while she would pale in comparison. They would not judge her, but that did not make her feel any happier about this.

They were not a large group, and Penny realised that it was every elleth in her tent as well as a few others. The rest would come later in small groups, so that the bathing would take place over the next hour or so. Already dresses were being shed and females walking into the water. Penny noticed, with some relief that they did so from behind bushes nearby the water’s edge and also that they all got into the water as quickly as they could. They were comfortable with each other’s nakedness, but only to the point that this was a necessity while travelling. They were not flaunting themselves.

“If you are not comfortable, do not feel you have to join us, Pen-ii,” said a quiet voice next to her. It was Arwen, still dressed.

No, she would do this. She would not have it said that she balked at the opportunity to have a good wash and clean her hair. These things were hugely important to elves and she would not have them think less of her.

She thanked Arwen and reassured her. She kept her gaze firmly fixed on the ground or her clothes as she got undressed, screening herself as best she could behind the low bushes. Then she walked, nervously, to the stream’s bank, sat on the edge and lowered herself quickly into the water.

AAAARGH! Oh, SHIT!

Bloody hell! It was FREEZING!

Penny was unable to move, gasping and squealing as the cold water swirled about her waist. Everyone was suddenly looking at her, worried, so all hope of washing discretely and unnoticed fled in that instant. She also immediately was aware of two of the armed ellith suddenly appearing and looking concerned.

She had not realised quite how loudly she had shouted.

That realisation and her mortification were compounded further when one of the armed elleth turned quickly to a sound behind her and three ellith already in the water in a more exposed section, sunk down to their necks with a squeal and a scowl, slowly moving to the cover of the bushes.

Clearly one or more of the armed ellyn had heard her shout and come to investigate.

Penny was mortified, freezing cold, and unable to move through embarrassment and the fact that her legs were fast going numb.

“What is it? What has happened?” Mireth and Arwen were beside her almost instantly.

“It...it... it is... c-c-cold,” she shivered. “I am... s-sorry. D-d-did not realise.”

There were sighs of relief and some laughter then. They had obviously thought she had hurt herself in some way.

“You gave us quite a fright just then,” scolded Eleniel.

“Yes, and us also,” said one of the three ellith who had moved quickly to screen themselves at the ellon’s arrival. “I am certain Anaril did not see us, but that is beside the point.”

Mireth had explained the situation to the armed elleth still standing by the bank who nodded, grinned and went off to explain to Anaril that male armed assistance to merely warm a human female was really not required. Inwardly, Penny groaned. She knew by the time she got back to the camp every one would know even if they had not heard the shout for themselves. At times she could happily curse elven hearing, let alone elvish gossipy mouths.

Washing was brief and perfunctory. By the time she tried to wash her hair Penny was shivering so much that Mireth came to help her. Eleniel was wrapped in a towel and standing on the bank for her with Penny’s own large piece of cloth as she got out, her lips blue and her teeth chattering.

They were too close to the mountains for these streams to be anything other than cold, especially as dusk was drawing near. What it would be like higher up the foothills or on the mountain pass itself, Penny dreaded to think. She was not sure if she could do this again.

They left her to dry herself off and she did so vigorously, hoping that rubbing herself hard with the cloth might get the circulation going and bring some warmth back to herself. Her entire head was numb and almost hurting her. She rubbed her hair and head hard also.

Once dressed and walking back through the little copse of trees, Arwen and Mireth reassured her.

“If they heard they will just be happy that no one was hurt, that nothing untoward happened,” said Arwen kindly. “Really, you must not concern yourself.”

“That may be true for most of them, but what about Lindir?” groaned Penny. She knew him too well to know that he would not find the entire thing hilarious. There was no answer from Arwen to that. She knew Lindir even better than Penny did, obviously, and knew Penny was right.

As soon as they came into the clearing, and had spread their cloths over the awnings to dry in the fading light, Mireth, Eleniel and Arwen insisted on dragging Penny, still looking decidedly cold and shivery, towards the fire at the centre of the group of males. They had taken a blanket from the tent and wrapped her in it for good measure. Penny let them get on with it, simply happy at the thought of getting close to the warmth of the flames.

She ignored the looks and raised eyebrows from one or two of the ellyn at her as they made their way past the seated groups to the fire. The three ellith sat with her so she was not alone beside it. She held her hands out to it, getting as close as she dared to it to warm herself.

There was soft murmuring behind her and she turned to find both Lord Elrond and Glorfindel were talking quietly with Arwen. They had glanced up at Penny and she realised they must have been asking about what had happened. Glorfindel caught her eye.

“We heard the shout,” he explained. “For a moment we were worried.”

To Penny’s astonishment Elrond laughed. “You should have seen us, Pen-ii,” he chuckled. “Ellyn flying everywhere, swords and bows being produced... You had quite an effect, even from such a distance.”

Penny could not help but smile at the idea of it, and the ellith with her were grinning. Eleniel started giggling and within seconds they were all chortling at the thought. After a minute, as the laughter died, Elrond was shaking his head.

“Ai, Pen-ii. They should have warned you the water would be cold. I trust you are now warming up again nicely next to the fire?”

“I thank you, Lord Elrond, I am fully recovered I think. I can finally feel my head once more.” Lord Elrond laughed loudly.

Lindir deliberately came to sit next to her over supper, smirking his head off.

“Oh, shut up, Lindir,” she mumbled as he opened his mouth to say something. He looked put out.

“How do you know what I was going to say?”

“Oh, I am sorry, you mean you were not going to laugh at my screaming loudly at getting naked into cold water, scaring the entire male population of Imladris half to death and making them think I was being attacked by orcs as well as getting Anaril to nearly see several ellith naked?”

Lindir opened his mouth and then shut it again. He grinned.

“Well, yes I was, actually. You have surpassed yourself again. Not quite as amusing as the River Incident, but still highly entertaining nonetheless.” He paused, a gleam in his eye. “I did not know that about Anaril. He did not say anything.”

Penny groaned. That was supremely stupid of her. She should not have mentioned it, and least of all to Lindir who would now torment Anaril and the ellith concerned to their wits end.

“Don’t you dare say a word, Lindir. It was entirely my fault. If anyone is to be teased, it is me and no one else.” She was waving her spoon at him as she spoke.

“You know, Pen-ii. I think Celebdor was right,” said a soft voice behind her. She turned to find Glorfindel was walking past them. “You are getting entirely too familiar with us all if you have taken to waving spoons at the likes of Lindir.” He was grinning as he said this, clearly amused rather than actually scolding her.

“Oh, but it is only Lindir,” said Penny, grinning back at him.

There was a choking sound next to her as Celebdor tried to laugh and swallow at the same time. Lindir shook his head at her and Mireth and Eleniel giggled.

Glorfindel plonked himself on the grass between her and Lindir, stretching his long legs out while he leaned back on his hands.

“‘Only Lindir’?” He raised an eyebrow. “You do realise who you are talking about?”

Penny was suddenly aware that everyone had gone quiet. She glanced across Glorfindel at Lindir who was looking a little sheepish if amused.

“Glorfindel, don’t,” Lindir said quietly. Penny looked Glorfindel with her brows furrowed.

“He is a great and proven warrior, as well as a minstrel of some skill. There are several ballads and songs he has written that are sung in every elven city in Arda, and have even been taken West with those who have left us already.”

Penny realised that for someone of Glorfindel’s stature and history to be saying this about Lindir said a very great deal. She knew Lindir was considered high in standing already. It had taken a month or two to realise it, but she had eventually worked out that, just as Elrond’s chief advisor had been chosen to teach her Sindarin, then someone similarly close to Elrond and very high in his regard had been chosen to teach her horse-riding. No doubt because, for all his humour and teasing, he was honourable, patient and trustworthy enough to deal with this very strange and truculent guest. He was often in the company of Elrond, Erestor and Glorfindel. Penny indeed felt honoured that he regarded her as a friend.

“That I did not know, but I guessed something near it.” She looked at Lindir who was flushing a little, clearly embarrassed that a jest had turned into something so much more serious suddenly. “My apologies, Lindir, I hope you know I meant nothing by my comment.”

“Of course, Pen-ii,” he said with a smile.

“I did not mean to make you feel uncomfortable,” said Glorfindel. He was still smiling broadly Penny realised. “I find it more than amusing that you speak to him in such a way, but even more amusing that he lets you. Frankly he deserves it, and we treat him in exactly the same way as you. I am pleased you feel so at home as to scold and berate the writer of The Fall of Eregion.”

There were murmurs from the others then.

“That is his most famous piece,” Mireth explained in a whisper, leaning across Celebdor to do so.

“Yes, well, I have seen him at work in his pranks and teasing,” said Penny. “I find it hard to believe that he can remain sensible long enough to write such songs.” There was laughter from the others and an astonished, outraged gasp from Lindir.

“Right, my lady! In that case, I will subject you to one this very evening. Then we shall be the judge of whether I can be sensible or not!”

Penny was hugely pleased. She had been hoping he would say that. She beamed at him.

“I will look forward to it immensely.”

Lindir grinned at her.

So, after the meal was finished, Lindir sang for everyone. It was a lengthy ballad, accompanied by a lyre, and was beautiful from what Penny could understand of it. Clearly the rest were moved, as no one spoke or moved or did anything other than give Lindir their absolute, undivided attention. Penny felt proud (ridiculously so, she felt, given it had nothing to do with her whatsoever) that he was clearly held in such high regard for his talents.

Later that night, as they were readying themselves for bed, Penny sat on her bedroll while they chattered and laughed about the earlier incident at the river.

“You should not feel bad, we could all tell you stories about things we have done, or others,” laughed Eleniel and there was agreement from the rest.

Quickly, even as they climbed under their blankets and lay down to rest, there were quiet tales of outrageous or ridiculous things done by themselves or others in Imladris. Penny was giggling madly, since several of these stories she had not heard before.

“Tell me,” she whispered at last. “What is the Eryn Lasgalen ‘Dorwinion Barrell’ Escapade?”

There was a second’s silence before the entire tent erupted into peals of giggles.

“Oh, Elbereth, Pen-ii, Erestor would slay us if he knew we had told you,” laughed Arwen.

“But you are going to tell me, are you not?” Penny beamed in the dark.

“But of course!” replied Arwen.

Good old gossipy elves. They just could not help themselves.

Erestor had been visiting Eryn Lasgalen, or Mirkwood as it still was back then, many years before. He had been warned, indeed was well aware, of the strength of Dorwinion, and that year had been a particularly good year for the wine, it seemed. Erestor, always slightly over-confident of his own abilities (and in every other case with good reason), thought he could handle more than he should.

He got drunk. Very drunk. Nor was he the only one.

Two high-ranking lords of the court and Thranduil himself had persuaded him, in a move not dissimilar to Lindir’s drunken performance, to go for a bathe in the river. While the other three dressed and returned to the halls, Erestor, enjoying his midnight swim, said he would stay a little longer. At last he climbed out, and dozed off on the bank. He woke in the very early morning to find his clothes were gone – stolen by some Sindarin wag who had thought this a good prank.

Distraught and mortified, he could not return through the gates and down the corridors entirely naked with the likely risk of meeting elleth coming for breakfast. Instead, he chose to swim to the portcullis and managed to gain entry by attracting the attention of the one sentry there. The guard, apparently, had been astonished and very amused indeed to see the naked ambassador from Imladris appear before him. The guard, who had not stopped giggling throughout the entire episode, could not leave his post however, nor offer him anything to wear.

That was where the barrel had come in.

The bottom had been kicked out of the barrel and Erestor, holding said barrel around himself, had had to suffer the indignity of walking past various groups of elves on their way to their morning repast as he made his way hurriedly to his chambers.

To say he was mortified would not even begin to cover it.

Worse, a delegation from Caras Galathon was visiting Mirkwood also, and he was just rounding the corner to the guests’ chambers when he came upon Celeborn, Galadriel and their chief advisor.

It was said that they had never seen Erestor run so fast in his life.

A number of ellyn were still round the fire talking quietly, and could hear the loud laughter that suddenly erupted from Penny’s tent. Erestor glanced up at Elrond.

“I am not sure I want to know,” he said quietly.

“No,” chuckled Elrond. “Probably best not to, I would imagine.”





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