Well, these are the last three chapters. Thank you to all who have reviewed and read so far and the warm response you have given this fic. I will start posting the sequel (Okay, NOW Panic!) as of tomorrow.

Chapter 25 - “To Balrog or Not To Balrog”

It was all very odd in the event, Penny decided afterwards, almost like a dream.

Elrohir had taken her to join everyone heading outside to see the Nine Walkers leave. The entirety of Imladris had been there, standing quietly among the trees, watching the Fellowship as they walked down to the gate and then out towards their fates.

Penny wept quietly and long as she saw Boromir pass her by, unable to quite believe that she would never see him again, that she knew what lay ahead of him, lay ahead of them all. In so many ways none of it felt real, and yet it so patently was it made her ache inside.

She went straight to her chambers, quiet and tense, almost numb in some ways. Elrohir and Elladan, who had been standing nearby, exchanged a glance as she had murmured her apologies and scurried off into the night. It was hard for all of them to know the terrible danger their friends and loved ones were walking into, and it seemed strange but entirely understandable that this woman, whom they barely knew, should find it just as difficult as they, if not more so.

Afterwards she was quiet and withdrawn, even though she fought against it. She knew there was nothing she could do or could have done, that indeed if she had tried she would have put the downfall of Sauron himself in jeopardy, but she still felt wracked with guilt.

She grieved for Boromir, too, though she felt it to be utterly ridiculous given she barely knew the man. She could not get him out of her head. Gandalf’s fall, while terrible, did not trouble her so much precisely because she knew he would return, even though the Fellowship would miss his guidance and leadership terribly.

No, it was Boromir that held her in her melancholy.

For the next few days, since she still was not riding, Arwen would come to meet her after Erestor’s lesson each day and take her to a quiet antechamber where they could spend the morning alone. Penny could not communicate, could not unburden the pain and distress she felt, but to be able to sit with someone with whom it did not matter if she lost herself in her thoughts, and with whom she did not need to pretend to be more indifferent to the Fellowship’s departure, was a comfort in some ways. She did not let herself collapse completely in Arwen’s presence, though, well aware that the man she loved was among the Nine and to have Penny weeping and wailing at his possible fate would not be helpful, to say the least.

When not with Arwen, she would walk or garden: anything to be alone with her thoughts and not having to put a brave, false face on.

She was aware that a few times those who knew about her situation clearly tried to ask her if everything was alright. She even suspected that Elrond might already be waiting for her to tell him more now the Fellowship had left, but she had no Gandalf now: she was back to the odd word and hand gestures for communication. She thanked them for their kindness but could say no more. Not that she wanted to straight away, even if she could have done.

After a few days, she felt she was better able to control herself and behave more normally in front of Mireth, Eleniel, Celebdor or Lindir and the others. She was calculating in her head now, trying to remember what happened when, and she would study the calendar on Erestor’s wall, much to his interest. Even though she was better able to cover it, her thoughts were constantly with the Fellowship and what they may be facing right at that moment, or what they would face in a week, a fortnight, a month or more. It would not leave her and, especially when alone with those who knew her situation, it left its mark upon her.

From that first following morning, though, Bilbo became a new friend. They had got to know each other relatively well in the past two months, but up till now she had been closer to the younger hobbits since she saw them more often.

Bilbo was there at breakfast that morning, and at every subsequent breakfast afterwards, just as he had promised Frodo he would be: testing her on her Sindarin vocabulary and exercises for the day’s lesson with Erestor. He had made tea in a small pot and they shared it between them. She made it clear that tomorrow she would make it.

Bilbo shook his head. “No, Pen-ii. I will make tea for breakfast. You make it for afternoon tea. You promised Kali you would join me every day, and I hope you will be able to continue to do so.” He spoke slowly and carefully, laying special emphasis on the words that would give the meaning of what he was saying to her, or else words he knew she knew already.

She nodded, pleased to have someone with whom to share the burden of the hobbits’ departure a little, and so every afternoon they would meet in the kitchen, load up a tray with a cake or two and a pot of tea and commandeer the same small antechamber together.

Often someone would come and join them. Elladan and Elrohir were regular visitors as well as Erestor. Penny would listen to the chatter, or perhaps continue her sewing. Occasionally Bilbo would have a book with him and would read bits out to her: poetry, from what she could tell, or ballads. He would then try and explain the stories in simpler language for her. If Erestor was there he would join in, and she would have both of them talking to her at once. Some of it she got, most of it was completely over her head, but she was touched nevertheless that Bilbo was making such an effort with her. She suspected it helped him to keep his mind off things a little too.

Bilbo was quiet, like her, that morning, and for the following days. In fact, all of Imladris seemed subdued for many days after the Fellowship left. Everyone was aware something momentous had happened, and the entire place was filled with an underlying tension as if now waiting for something to occur as a consequence. Penny was aware of it – of how much more quiet things were than previously – and it made everything worse: they were waiting for they knew not what, whereas she was waiting for things she knew all too well.

“I am worried about her,” Erestor was saying.

Elrond had come to see him in his study. Elladan and Elrohir had left that morning to patrol the outskirts of Elrond’s realm once more, and Glorfindel would be leaving soon also. All three had expressed some concern at Penny’s demeanour since she seemed so quiet and troubled, particularly when she was alone with any of them and could let her guard down. Erestor felt he was speaking for all four of them as he spoke to Lord Elrond.

Elrond nodded. “I know. Elladan spoke to me about it before he left, also. Mithrandir said he would tell her to speak to me but she has yet to do so.”

“She may not feel she has the Sindarin to do so.”

“Does she have the Sindarin to do so?”

“Well, no, but she could make herself relatively understood, I am sure.”

Elrond sat silently in thought for a moment. “Erestor, do you think we should force things a little? Perhaps if you, I and Arwen were to question her?”

Erestor’s face clouded a little. “I am not so sure, Elrond. It may upset her more. Do not forget we do not know what it is she knows. If it is dark indeed, then...” He trailed off.

Elrond sighed. “I feel we must do something. She needs help. It is only communication, or the lack thereof, that is the main barrier here. Mithrandir was a great support to her.”

“Yes, I think she misses his presence greatly.”

Elrond nodded, murmuring his agreement. He considered the matter, then said, “Well, we shall leave things be for a while, but if she cannot shake off her distress I think we shall have to do something. It is fairly apparent her thoughts are constantly with the Nine Walkers and whatever they may be facing, though she covers it well enough in front of others, and even to have to do that – to have to put on a brave face, as it were – must be just as wearing as the knowledge itself. It can be difficult enough for the Eldar or Gandalf to have the kind of knowledge she bears. She is a mortal, she is young and entirely unused to it. It may break her if she tries to struggle with this all by herself. Mithrandir could see that, and he was right.”

So they left her for a little while longer, but they kept an eye on her all the same since the strain was beginning to show.

Halbarad noticed it too when he returned nearly three weeks after the Fellowship had left. He could see the sadness in her eyes, her stillness and quietness. Given what she had told him as he had left, he could well understand why now.

She was pleased to see him, though. With Gandalf gone, even though she could not communicate well to Halbarad he was a great comfort for her just by being around.

He had arrived in the afternoon while she was sitting with Mireth in an antechamber, sewing. As soon as he had bathed, he went looking for her. Elrond had spoken to him, told him something of his, Erestor’s and Arwen’s concern, and had wondered if Halbarad might be able to talk to her.

Even if he had not spoken to Elrond, though, Halbarad wanted to see her, see how she was coping. What she had shared with him that day when he had left had preyed on his mind the entire time he had been away. He still could not quite take in the fact that Boromir would die, but even putting that aside, the more he considered, or tried to imagine, what it must be like for her to have such knowledge, the more he worried about her. He had said as much to Elrond and he had seen Elrond shared exactly those same concerns.

“She is coping very well, Halbarad, make no mistake. We are all thinking of them, we are all quiet and subdued, so in some sense her behaviour is not unusual. Added to which it is clear to all that she had become close to Gandalf, and the kuduk, while they were here, so her distractedness will seem entirely understandable to all here.” Elrond paused for a moment before continuing. “No, it is when she is alone with those of us who know her story, Halbarad, when she can relax a little and not worry so much about covering her feelings. You can see it in her. I can feel it very strongly in her, as can Arwen too. It is not fear or worry as much as utter preoccupation, deep distress and despair.”

Halbarad nodded, his face serious. “I have thought much about this, Elrond, and it has occurred to me, as I imagine it has to you, that she knows some aspects of this in detail.”

“Yes, indeed.”

“You remember the detail she had of the Council? How she knew who had said what to whom? How she knew even the smallest details of the kuduk, Bilba’s party and their travels to Bree? If she knows the story of the Nine Walkers in that much detail...” He broke off, raising his head to look straight at Elrond as he continued, “Then she will indeed be living near enough every day with them.”

Elrond nodded, his expression grave. “I am well aware of this. As are Erestor and Arwen. Glorfindel, Elladan and Elrohir were also saying the same thing before they left.”

“Yes, I met Elrohir. We discussed it a little.”

“Oh, yes?”

“Only because I asked of news, if they had left. When he said they had, I asked how Pen-ii was doing. He told me.”

“I see. Well, then, you are already aware of our concerns. I can see you share them also.”

Yes, he did indeed. He did not say to Elrond that she had told him something of what she knew. She would no doubt tell Elrond herself when she felt the time was right. He knew that she had told him only because he had been so angered by her behaviour. She had told him only to correct his view of her. Otherwise she would have never told him at all. Of that much, Halbarad was certain.

He was nearing the antechamber door when it opened and Mireth stepped through it, holding a sewing basket under one arm. She looked up on seeing him and smiled.

“Well met, Halbarad. It is good to see you back once more.”

“Well met, Lady Mireth, and I thank you it is good be back in Imladris once more. Is Lady Pen-ii in there with you?”

“She is indeed, but you must excuse me; I cannot stay, I have to go and meet Celebdor.”

Halbarad flashed her a knowing grin. “Ah, yes. Of course, Mireth.”

She blushed a little, smiled and hurried off. Halbarad, chuckling, pushed the door open.

Penny was sitting at a window seat, her sewing in her lap, staring out at the light dusting of snow on the ground. She had a shawl about her shoulders, and Halbarad could see part of her face since she was sitting sideways on to him. Whatever mask she may have worn for Mireth, or possibly even with Elrond, Erestor or Arwen, there was none there now as he looked at her. He could see her brow furrowed, the skin round her eyes tight, her jaw set as she stared off into the distance as if utterly lost in her thoughts. He recognised that look: she had worn it all the way to Imladris.

Halbarad, one hand on the door handle still, sighed.

She started a little, turned and, as a smile spread across her face, he could see that the mask was up suddenly.

“Halbarad! God, I’m pleased to see you! Mae govannen.”

He grinned at her. “Mae govannen, Pen-ii.”

He stood there for a moment, not moving, as they looked at each other, both suddenly thinking of the last time they had seen each other and the information that had passed between them.

“Pen-ii...” Halbarad began.

He could get no further because she was standing and walking quickly across to him, throwing her arms about his waist and hugging him, pressing her cheek against his chest.

He laughed slightly in surprise and was still smiling as she pulled back from him a little and looked up at him with a decidedly sheepish expression on her face. “Forgive me, Halbarad. I am pleased I see you,” she said faltering in Sindarin. “After that I talked. When you left, the day you left. You understand my story. You understand.”

He nodded. He did indeed. “I understand very well, Pen-ii, and I am glad you told me.” He walked her over to the window seat once more and sat opposite her. He regarded her for a moment. “Pen-ii, how are you? How are you coping with all this?”

She did not understand his questions, but at last she realised what he was asking and smiled at him, patting his knee, “I am well, Halbarad.” Then she said in English, “Really, I’m fine. Honestly. It’s hard, sure, but I’ll cope. I’m fine.”

Halbarad could tell what she was saying just by the tone in her voice: trying to convince herself and him and failing completely. He would not press her, though.

They went for a walk then, even though the chill of winter was upon them. They reached a little bench hidden in the trees, and Halbarad indicated for them to sit.

He was worried. Her silence, her entire bearing, reminded him so much of how she had been in that week when they had travelled from Bree to Imladris alone, when he had seen her deteriorate in front of his eyes as she struggled to cope with what she was going through. He had to say something.

“Pen-ii, is everything well? You seem quiet, withdrawn. I am worried for you.”

No response.

“You are thinking of them, are you not?”

She did not understand him.

“You. Thinking.” He tapped his head. Then said, “The Nine Walkers: Aragorn, kuduk...” He hesitated before saying, “Boromir.”

He saw her eyes fill, her gaze then fall to her lap, as she nodded. He took her hand and squeezed it a little. A gasp, a soft sob, and a tear upon her cheek told him of the pain she was feeling. He pulled her to him, holding her gently as she wept quietly.

“Ai, Pen-ii. I cannot know what this must be like for you, nor is there anything I can say to help you.” He pulled back from her, holding her by the shoulders as he looked into her eyes, his face serious. “Pen-ii, I will always be your friend. Friend. You understand? You can tell me anything. You, talk, me. I am your friend.”

She nodded and smiled gratefully at him, “Le hannon, Halbarad. It means a lot to me. Really, it does. Le hannon.”

He returned her smile. “Elrond is worried, you know. Erestor and Lady Arwen also. You need to talk, Pen-ii.” She was looking at him, brows furrowed, trying to understand him. “You, talk, Elrond. Mithrandir said to you to talk to Elrond, did he not?”

She looked at him for a moment before nodding slowly, “Yes. Yes, he did. At least if I have understood you, and I think I have. Mithrandir did tell me to talk to Elrond.” She looked at Halbarad once more, considering. “You are right, Halbarad. Yes. Yes, I think I have to. I can’t do this alone. It’s too much. It’s overwhelming, really. I can’t stop thinking about it. That won’t stop, I don’t think, even if I do talk to Elrond, but at least then there’ll be two of us obsessed by it.” She smiled ruefully.

She knew Halbarad would not understand her, but she was grateful to be able to talk to him. Halbarad had been through it all with her, had been there from the very beginning and seen her through the worst patch yet. She did not really feel she could let go even in her own language to Arwen, Elrond or Erestor. She did not want to burden them. She guessed Elrond had spoken to Halbarad, though, and it was clear they were concerned about her.

She nodded. “I will talk Elrond,” she said in Sindarin.

Halbarad smiled and nodded. “Good, Pen-ii. You should. I am glad. It is the right thing to do.” He paused, wondering how he could make his next question be understood. “Do you want me to be there with you? When you talk to Elrond, do you want me with you?”

She guessed his question and the obvious relief in her face gave him his answer. He smiled once more. “I there with you, Pen-ii,” he said, keeping his Sindarin simple for her.

Thank God. She was SO grateful to him.

“Le hannon, Halbarad.”

He was smiling kindly at her, happy to be able to help in some small way. He was pleased she would talk, though he was now wondering what on earth he might learn from her.

They walked back to the halls and into supper.

After the meal Penny sat with Eleniel and Lindir in the Hall of Fire. She had noticed Halbarad pull Erestor and Elrond to one side after dinner. She could guess what they were talking about.

Sure enough, she soon noticed Arwen heading towards them. She smiled on seeing Penny look up and beckoned her over to her. Penny joined her and found Arwen leading her out, down corridors, and so to Elrond’s study.

Why was it every time one of these conversations took place it was in Elrond’s study?

Halbarad, Erestor and Elrond were already there, of course, seated by the fire and with goblets of wine. Penny was given a seat next to Halbarad and Elrond poured her a cup.

“You wish to talk, Pen-ii?” Elrond asked her at last after he had seated himself.

She was not sure she liked the idea of so many people being here, and yet Erestor and Arwen were friends now and had a right to know: as the chief advisor to Elrond and the betrothed to one of the Nine Walkers. She nodded at Elrond, looking a little nervously at the others.

“I don’t know where to begin, really.” She switched to Sindarin, “Not I talk everything. I talk a little.”

Elrond nodded. He had suspected she would relate only that which had already happened or would happen very soon.

Penny suddenly realised it might be useful to have a map. She had no way of asking for this. She looked at Erestor suddenly. “Erestor, do you have a map?”

He looked at her, his brows furrowed but a gentle smile on his face. “What is it you need, Pen-ii?”

She stood, going over to the huge bookcases that lined one entire wall. She patted the spines of a few books as she looked back to the four, watching her intently, “Like this perhaps?” She made a motion with her hands as if spreading something out flat in front of her, tracing her finger along something as she looked at it. Then, as if reading out names, she said, “Imladris, Emyn, Lothlorien, Gwathlo.” Then she did a circle motion to take in the entire ‘invisible’ map in front of her, “Eriador, Arda.”

Erestor nodded with a smile. He understood well enough, as did the others. Before he could stand, however, Elrond already had done so and moved to a cabinet behind his desk. He opened the doors revealing a pile of scrolls and rolled parchments. He examined one or two before he found the one he was looking for. He beckoned Penny over to the desk as he unrolled it while the others rose from their seats and came to stand round the desk with her.

Elrond and Erestor weighted down the four corners with a paperweight and three books. Halbarad fetched chairs for Arwen and Penny, though Penny did not sit. Instead she studied the map.

It showed all of Middle-earth from Arnor to Gondor. She quickly picked out Rivendell, Minas Tirith, the Anduin and Lothlorien. She was fascinated, especially at certain towns or villages that were marked on it that she had never heard of or knew existed in Arnor, Rohan and Gondor.

She looked to see if she could read Caradhras, or if the Dimrill Stair or Moria was marked on it. They were not.

She paused for a moment and looked round at them all. Arwen was sitting watching her, a kind smile on her face that belied the intense interest in her gaze. Penny suspected Arwen was hoping for any news of Aragorn she might have. Halbarad was leaning on the desk with both hands, his head turned towards her with an encouraging look on his face. Elrond was sat at his desk chair, a clear view of the map in front of him, sipping his wine and waiting patiently. Erestor was standing next to Arwen, his hand resting on the back of her chair.

She took a deep breath. Where was she going to begin? She was not even sure what they were expecting from her, what they wanted to hear. Gandalf had just said ‘tell Elrond what you know,’ so she decided to do simply that: relate the story and what would be happening right now.

They watched as she counted on her fingers. It took them a month to get to Lothlorien, they left three weeks ago, so... would they be in Moria yet or not? She could not remember exactly. Then it hit her: they were in Moria right now if not on their way to Lorien, in which case...

Oh God.

Gandalf.

She suddenly looked down, struggling to control the tears she felt well in her eyes, but not quickly enough for them not to have seen her expression change. She had clearly realised something had happened already or was about to: something very distressing indeed. The four exchanged concerned looks.

She recovered herself, took a deep breath to steady herself, and looked at them for a moment, then said in her broken Sindarin, “Nine they walk Lothlorien.”

Halbarad and Elrond exchanged a puzzled look.

“Lothlorien?” Erestor asked.

Penny nodded and repeated ‘Lothlorien.’ “They walked in mountains.”

Halbarad looked at Elrond once more, “Was a route decided before they left?”

Elrond shook his head. “No. There was some discussion about it all. Most seemed in favour of the Gap of Rohan.” He turned to Penny and pointed on the map, “Not here? Not the Gap of Rohan?”

She shook her head. “No. Saruman, he saw. Birds.” She hesitated since she did not know the Sindarin for wolf. “Many... umm... hounds. Not hounds.” It was the best she could come up with. She could see they were baffled by this so she repeated it. “Hounds... not hounds. Similar.”

Halbarad and Erestor looked at each other. “Do you think she means wolves? They have been gathering in great numbers, as you know,” Halbarad was asking.

Erestor was already at the bookshelves scanning for something. Finally he found what he was looking for, pulled a tome from the shelves and turned the pages. Eventually he came back to the desk and pointed at a finely detailed ink painting of a wolf. “Do you mean this, Pen-ii?”

She nodded. Erestor said “draug” two or three times till she repeated it.

Ever the teacher.

“Many wolf. Birds. Saruman he saw. Orthanc not good. Not they walked here,” and she pointed at the Gap of Rohan. They nodded. They understood.

“Mithrandir he talked Moria.” There was a gasp at this and, again, exchanged glances. Once more Halbarad confirmed what she had said. Penny nodded and repeated ‘Moria’ then continued, looking at Arwen as she did so, “Aragorn he talked ‘no.’ He talked Caradhras.”

More nods at this, though Halbarad looked a little concerned. “That would have been a difficult road at this time of year,” he said quietly. The others looked at him.

“Any road would have been a difficult one. They knew that even before they left, Halbarad,” Elrond replied levelly. “Continue, Pen-ii.”

“Nine they walk up Caradhras. Big snow Caradhras. Big big snow.” She said ‘kuduk’ and ‘edain’ and then shivered. They nodded. “Mithrandir he talked Moria again. Aragorn he talked no again. Hobbits cold. Big cold. Cannot walk on, forwards. They walk down Caradhras. Many wolf. No path, no other path. They walk... Moria.”

There were gasps and murmurs now.

“Are you saying they went through Moria, Pen-ii?” Elrond could barely believe it.

She nodded, saying, “Nine they walk down Caradhras. They walked Moria. They went in, inside Moria.”

They could see the expression on her face as she said it, knew that she knew well enough that that was no place anyone would willingly go. If she knew this from her stories, then it meant that they had indeed met evils there. Suddenly the weight of her knowledge revealed itself, even before she continued further.

Halbarad was shaking his head in disbelief. “Moria! What on earth possessed them to go there? I can not believe Mithrandir was advising them to do so.”

Arwen’s voice was quiet. “They would not have done so if they had any other choice, Halbarad. You know that. We all do.”

Penny was using her hands, indicating on the desk a spot and saying, “Door Moria.” They watched as she said ‘stream’ and traced a line from the door. Elrond nodded. “She means the...”

Penny then placed her hand on its side, across the line of the ‘stream’ she had traced on the desk. Then, pointing behind it, between it and the ‘position’ of Moria’s door she said, “Big water. Big big water ...umm ...lake. Lake here.”

There was a little confusion at this since there was no ‘big water’ or ‘lake’ in front of Moria’s Western gate. She repeated her action a few times till they simply had to accept what she was saying: that the flow of water had been stopped somehow and there was a body of water where she was saying it was.

She did not know the word for ‘monster.’ “In water...” She stopped. They could tell she was searching for a word. She looked at Erestor. “Not I know word,” she said. He nodded.

So there was something in the water. They were looking at her intently now.

“In water animal,” she repeated and then she made a grabbing motion and said ‘Maura.’ “Animal,” grab motion, “hold Maura.”

Elrond had his forehead in one hand, Erestor’s grip on the back of the chair was tight and Halbarad was not looking at her. They could not fully understand but they all realised the significance of Frodo being the target of this whatever-it-was. Only Arwen kept her gaze on Penny, her face betraying nothing.

“Ban,” Penny said while making cutting motions. “Not knife... err..”

“Sword?”

“Yes, Halbarad. I thank you. Sword. Ban sword, he cut in water animal.”

Halbarad nodded.

“Nine they ran inside Moria door. In water animal break door. Nine not out Moria. Not,” she made a turning motion as if to come back the other way.

Halbarad said quietly, “They were trapped. They had no choice but go on.”

Faces were pale, jaws tight as they realised what they were listening to. Again Penny paused, looking at them, and they knew from the anxiety now clear in her eyes that what she had told them was not the half of it.

“Three days? Four days?” she was saying, “They walk.”

They could see tears in her eyes now. Halbarad was looking at her, never taking his eyes off her, as he suddenly realised she was finding this very difficult. He smiled gently at her and nodded, urging her to continue, that it would be all right, that they could cope with whatever she was going to tell them.

She nodded in reply and said quietly, her voice shaking a little now as the reality of what she was describing hit home to her, “Orcs. Many many orcs in Moria.” She glanced up at Halbarad to see he was looking at Elrond, both aghast. “Many,” she repeated.

She did not know ‘die’ or ‘tomb,’ so decided not to try and tell them about Balin. That could wait for another time.

“In Moria...”

She could feel her throat tightening. She could have no idea how they would take this, only that it would mean so much more to them than to her, would be terrifying and all too real for them.

“In Moria...”

She was like a stuck record, the tears filling her eyes, looking desperately at them. She really was not sure she should tell them this. She looked at Elrond, pleading with him, then at Halbarad, and he could see the fear and uncertainty in her eyes.

“Please, Pen-ii. What is it? ‘In Moria’ what?” Elrond said quietly, encouragingly.

At last she said in English, “Durin’s Bane.”

Erestor and Elrond exchanged a stunned look. Had she just tried to say what they thought she had tried to say?

Erestor came round to the other side of Arwen’s chair, faced Penny and said, “In Moria there is a great evil, though what it is is unknown. Durin’s Bane. Is this what you are saying, Pen-ii? The big evil of Moria?”

Penny repeated the word ‘evil,’ not understanding it.

“Yes, ‘evil’.” Halbarad nodded, “Wolf, orc, Sauron, Saruman, Nazgûl, Mordor. Evil. All evil.”

Penny nodded, she understood now and repeated ‘evil’ at them.

Erestor tried again. “In Moria big evil, yes?”

Penny looked at him, turning a little pale, and what he read in her face made him gasp. Shocked, he looked at Elrond who murmured, “May Eru protect them.”

Penny could not hold back the tears, though she tried. They spilled silently down her cheeks as she quietly sat in the seat she had not yet used. She really was not sure this was a good idea, but she whispered one word.

“Balrog.”

The only sound for several seconds was Arwen’s gasp as she clapped her hand to her mouth. All four looked slowly at each other, unable to register what she had just said.

Arwen’s face was pale, her eyes wet.

“Elbereth,” murmured Halbarad.

“This cannot be,” Elrond was saying quietly. “Surely we misheard.”

“Pen-ii,” Erestor’s voice was not as calm as it was normally, “Pen-ii, repeat please.”

It was a phrase he used often enough in his lessons, so she understood it. She raised her head and looked him straight in the eye, her voice shaking a little as she repeated, “Balrog, Erestor. Big evil in Moria. Balrog.”

Halbarad’s mind reeled. The expression on the faces of the three elves spoke volumes: they could barely believe it either.

“Did you know?” he asked Elrond, his voice quiet as he tried to contain his shock.

Elrond shook his head. “We knew it was serious. Obviously so. But not that. No one dreamed it was that.” Then he said, looking at Penny as the tears rolled down her face, “And I do not doubt she understands fully the significance of this. She could have stopped them. She could have said something, but she did not. I begin to understand more of what she bears now.”

Halbarad thought too of Boromir. He wondered just how much more there was that she knew. Too much, he now suspected, too much that cut too deep. Sweet Elbereth, poor Pen-ii.

“They run. Bridge Khazad-Dhum. Balrog he run...”

Penny stopped herself. A thought had flashed across her head. She did not want to be the one to tell them this, and they would find out soon enough. Word would come. Word would come from Lothlorien telling of Mithrandir’s fall (Penny caught a sob in her throat as that thought hit her), saying the Nine Walkers were now Eight and that help was needed. Help that Elrond would send...

She suddenly looked up at Halbarad, and smiled sadly, as a tear slid down her face.

God, this was so damn hard.

She shook her head as she stared at her hands, which were clasped tightly in her lap. “They walk Lothlorien. They walked out of Moria. They walked inside Lothlorien.”

She did not look at them. Arwen and Elrond exchanged a glance. Halbarad and Erestor looked at them.

“What is it?” Erestor asked.

“There is something she is not telling us,” said Elrond quietly. “I do not know what, but she was about to say something and stopped herself.”

“Yes,” Arwen nodded. “I felt it too. Very strong.”

“Pen-ii,” Elrond turned to her now, “Pen-ii that is all the story? No more story?”

Still she did not raise her head, but she shook it slowly.

“Well at least she admits there is more,” said Halbarad softly. “And there would have to be. A Balrog would not let them just walk out of there.”

Erestor’s face was pale, his jaw tight, “Or else it would follow them to Lorien.”

There was another appalled silence as that idea sunk in.

“Pen-ii?” Elrond’s voice was gentle but his tone insistent.

Again she shook her head, and when she spoke they could hear her struggling to maintain her composure. “Not question, please, Lord Elrond. Please. Do not ask me. I not talk. I not talk. Please.”

“Pen-ii, these are our friends, whom we love dearly. We cannot... a Balrog, Pen-ii! A Balrog!”

“Look, I did not want to tell you! I... If it had been up to me, I would have not said a word, but you insisted, Mithrandir insisted, and I knew you were right because I can’t keep carrying this about with me, I can’t. It’s not possible – I’m not built for this, for God’s sake! I’m only human!”

She was crying as she spoke, but they could hear her anger and frustration. Elrond’s surprise and annoyance at her tone with him were clear in his face.

She said in Sindarin, “Me human, Lord Elrond. This is difficult. Difficult knowledge. I not want talk. You say, Halbarad say, Mithrandir say I must talk. I talked. I talked, and now I not talk. I not talk more. I have talked. Too much maybe. Maybe I..” She did not know how to say it so she muttered, “Forgive me I say ‘Balrog.’ Better you not know that maybe.”

Elrond nodded. “I understand, Pen-ii. We have no choice but to accept what you are saying and not act upon this. Though it is hard indeed.”

Erestor was saying, “Perhaps we should send some after them to deal with this, though? Glorfindel, perhaps?”

Penny’s head shot up. She had heard Glorfindel’s name and immediately guessed what Erestor may have been suggesting, “NO!” The alarm in her voice shocked them. “No, Lord Elrond. Please. I talk, you not work, you not move.” She hoped they understood her. They did.

Halbarad came to her now, crouching down beside her chair, one hand on the chair arm, the other holding her hand. “Pen-ii, the Nine Walkers are our friends. We must help them. Balrog very big evil, Pen-ii. I know you know this.”

She shook her head, tears streaming down her face. She definitely would not tell them about Mithrandir now. Not with the reaction just this news had got. “No, Halbarad. They not inside Moria now. Now they inside Lothlorien. No Balrog. Balrog... Not Balrog now.” She was not sure if they would be in Lothlorien yet, or whether they had even left Moria but they may well have done. So it was not a deliberate lie, she told herself.

Halbarad looked confused. “No Balrog? You mean...” He looked at Elrond. “How would that be possible?”

“How, Pen-ii?” Elrond was looking at her intently.

She looked him straight in the eye and he could see that she knew the answer, but also the strength of will written on her face. “No, Lord Elrond.” She said very firmly. “Galadhrim will enter Imladris. They will tell you. Not me.”

Elrond opened his mouth to say something, then closed it again, realising she was resolute. They had to respect her decision. As it was, she had told them astonishing and very worrying news. But the idea that there was more, and worse, concerned him very greatly indeed.

Penny looked up at them all and regretted having said anything at all. The expressions on their faces showed their shock, their bewilderment and their concern. She wondered if them knowing there was more, though not what it might be, only made it worse.

She suspected it probably did.