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| Day and Night by Peredhil lover | 46 Review(s) |
|---|---|
| daw the minstrel | Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 1/5/2007 |
| Interesting healing scene. Is Aragorn able to do that because he is the chosen one, the one destined to be king? Or do you see all healing in ME working with a sort of magic like that? What's the source of the healing, I wonder? Magic in Tolkien's world is usually kind of understated and matter-of-fact, and I wonder what he conceived of as its spring. The role reversal between Estel and Elladan is certainly teaching Elladan something about this young man he's helped raise. No wonder Elrond decides he's come early to manhood. Author Reply: Some of the questions you raise will be addressed, to some extent, in a later chapter, and possibly future stories, but I will say that I did not conceive of Aragorn's healing gift as "magic", nor do I see all healing in ME working like that. I think that I will enjoy putting a little bit of a different spin on things than how they are commonly conceived, but I will always try to remain firmly rooted in Tolkien's canon, as that very much matters to me. Thank you for reviewing, daw, I appreciate it very much. peredhil lover | |
| Bodkin | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 1/4/2007 |
| I love the contrast between Elladan and Glorfindel - and the totally adult and powerful twins, who nonetheless are, particularly in Elrohir's case, able to nurture a youth on the verge of manhood. While the candle-decorated pastry - is a great almost-joke of a celebration that still acknowledges an important milestone in Estel's progress to becoming Aragorn. Being under an avalanche of rock, though, sounds a bit of an extreme way for Elladan and Estel to do a bit of male bonding! I hope neither of them is too badly hurt! Good fight, though - and I could see Estel learning and growing as he confronted the trolls! Good story. Author Reply: Thanks for reviewing, Bodkin. I'm glad that you are enjoying the story so far. The little birthday celebration is a favourite scene of mine--while it was too good an opportunity to tease Estel for the elves to pass up, it does, I hope, show how much they do care about him as well as marking that important milestone in Estel's growth. I'm glad that you enjoyed the battle scene in this chapter. You are quite right, it is an extreme way to get a bit of male bonding, but it might be just what is required to get stubborn ol' Elladan thinking a little differently. As for how badly hurt Elladan and Estel are, the next chapter should be up soon. Thanks for the kind words. peredhil lover | |
| Raksha The Demon | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 1/4/2007 |
| I liked the quarrel between Glorfindel and Elladan; surely there would be occasional friction between some elves. Author Reply: Thanks for reviewing, Raksha, I really appreciate it. I do believe there is a fairly extensive history of elves who didn't get along with each other, isn't there? While they don't always see eye to eye, I do think that deep down Glorfindel and Elladan really do care about each other, so hopefully there won't be any kinslaying here. ;-) peredhil lover | |
| Raksha The Demon | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 1/4/2007 |
| Very exciting, and believable, battle with the trolls! But did you have to end the chapter with a cliffhanger? Author Reply: Thanks, Raksha, I'm glad that you found the battle exciting and believable. As a relatively new writer, I wanted to try my hand at a cliffhanger. It does seem to motivate people to leave more reviews, so I can see the appeal from a writers point of view. ;-) peredhil lover | |
| French Pony | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 1/3/2007 |
| The situation here is tense and dangerous, and I enjoyed seeing Estel, having learned the theory of troll-fighting, now having to translate that into actual practice. It is indeed true that the two are distinct, especially for something like sword fighting. I also enjoyed the little glimpses inside the troll's mind (such as it is), as it hunts the squeaky little things with the pointy sticks. I did feel that the writing was slower and perhaps clunkier than it could have been, especially describing a scene that seems to play out in only a few minutes. I didn't get much of a sense of what the Elves were actually doing to the troll, nor a sense of scale between them and the troll. Battle writing is difficult, but I think that more of a focus on showing rather than telling, perhaps by describing the effects of actions rather than the reasons for them, might help smooth this out. Author Reply: Thanks for taking the time to review, I always like to get feedback. This is the first battle scene that I have ever written, and I freely admit that I find much greater pleasure in exploring characters and relationships than writing action scenes. However, I've had a lot a reviews and you are the first one to describe the writing in this chapter as "slower." Many have said they found the battle to be quite fast paced and felt themselves drawn into the action. No one is right, of course. Everyone simply has their own opinion. I find it most fascinating, and I think I will love to explore it in my writing--how vastly different each person's perspectives can be to the same information. Thanks again for reviewing, and I hope you stick with the story and enjoy the next chapter more. peredhil lover | |
| daw the minstrel | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 1/2/2007 |
| Good battle scene between overwhelming brawn and clever agility. Battle scenes can be hard to write but I think this one was nicely done. You kept us focused on Estel mostly and that made it all personal. Author Reply: Having never written a battle scene, or really any action scenes, before, I wasn't looking forward to it, and I'm glad to hear that you think it turned out well. Thanks for reading and reviewing. peredhil lover | |
| Nilmandra | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 1/2/2007 |
| The battle scene was well orchestrated, and I liked seeing Estel's thoughts as he realized he could evade the creature, as well as when he realized he and Elladan could work together. The shifting POV tend to work well in this situation, I think, as it keeps the chapter fast paced and gives a better picture of events. And that was a great deed, indeed! Estel brought down the troll - poetic justice, since they killed his grandfather. Glad to see Elladan proud of him, even if he has saved him twice. We all need someone to watch our backs. Somehow I think Elladan is the one who will need the help now. Author Reply: Having written only a couple of short fics before this one, both of which focused almost completely on relationships, I was not relishing the thought of trying to write a battle scene. I'm so pleased to hear that you think it turned out well. I think you may be right about Elladan needing help, and just maybe Estel will get a chance to save him for once. ;) I really appreciate and enjoy your reviews. peredhil lover | |
| French Pony | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 1/2/2007 |
| I came here on a recommendation, and I'm glad that I did. This has a wonderful sense of atmosphere. I especially like that you build it through the characters' interactions rather than in an information dump at the beginning of the story. Elladan and Elrohir come across as two different people here, which is also a plus in my book, and Estel seems believable as a young man just past being a teenager. He may not care for birthday parties any more, but food and sleep are always welcome. Author Reply: Thank you so much for reviewing and for your kind words. I really appreciate it. I'm so glad that you are enjoying the story, particularly my portrayal of the twins and Estel. peredhil lover | |
| daw the minstrel | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 1/1/2007 |
| I'm replying to your reply, PL. Hope you don't mind. I just had to confess that I laughed because I sure did misread Arador's age when he died. I somehow read it as he was 21 at the time and I thought, wow, that's a baby in Dunedain terms. That must have been dramatic! So I had this big story going in my head. Thank you for saving me from my own wild imagination! | |
| Nilmandra | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 1/1/2007 |
| I like seeing the relationsihp between the twins here - very close, their hearts and minds closely aligned, yet also very different individuals. You also address the differences between them and older elves like Glorfindel, who likely do change only slowly. Elladan's guilt is strong, and it is very sad that it has kept him from a relationship with Estel. He still has time to make it right. It may be only when Estel is Aragorn and much more grownup that Elladan lets himself get close. Another thing you do well is the giving of information - you really have to tell that, not show it, and yet you manage to do it in a way where it is the character's thoughts, it flows naturally vs. being an info dump. This except begins a good example of this: Estel reflected that it had not always been easy growing up the only human boy in a realm of elves many centuries his senior. Perhaps he would remain forever as a child in their eyes, for how could they see him otherwise? .... Nice job, I look forward to seeing where you go with this. The tension is high and I felt it along with Estel at the end. Author Reply: Exploring relationships is what I like best about writing, particularly the relationships of the twins with each other and others. I'm so glad to hear that you are enjoying it! Hopefully, in the course of this story, Elladan will be able learn a bit about Estel and their relationship can begin to change for the better. Thank you so much for your kind words about my writing. Coming from you, I take it as quite a complement indeed! The next chapter will be posted within a few minutes and I very much look forward to reading your reactions. | |