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An Act of Betrayal  by Manderly 33 Review(s)
The KarenatorReviewed Chapter: 14 on 5/21/2004
Hi Manderly,

I've been sort of hanging out in the bushes, lurking about reading as you have posted, but forgive me, I've not reviewed. I have truly enjoyed your tale. But there are two thing I've most wanted to comment on: 1) I'm mightly impressed with what a good job you've done when English is not your first language, and 2) How much you've grown as a writer. I thought your previous story I read was quite good, but as I watched this one unfold, I saw you become more confident and your writing go from being good to being excellent. I think it's the tone. It's hard to explain exactly. You just seem to catch the wind and fly higher with each chapter. The flow of narrative was smooth and engaging. Your characters had distinct personalities. You handled difficult dialogue and situations well, giving the reader what they needed to know without belaboring your point or belaboring the action to the point of fatigue. It was a well done balance. You also kept the story line moving without falling into the pits of wallowing in unnecessary information--something I'm bad to do. :>) I just can't tell you what a pleasure this story has been for me to read. I felt almost as if I were watching a rose unfold. You have a talent and a natural ability to tell a story. You go girl! I think you have found your calling. You will only get better and better, something I think all writers always strive to obtain. Even the most accomplished writers constantly work their craft. I think it's part of the thrill of transcribing words to express thought and then offer it as a gift to your readers. And a gift, it is. I truly look forward to more of your stories. Keep writing! Karen

Author Reply: Wow! Your review has left me nearly in tears. Thank you so very much! It is really overwhelming coming from a writer of your calibre. Really makes me want to reread my own story to see if I am really as good as that (the ego is flying high here). I think the greatest reward for a writer is to know that the readers have enjoyed the story. Given my rather novice status in this writing business, it never ceases to amaze me to hear that people actually like my stories, especially so since there are so many wonderful authors out there whose stories surpass even the professional published writers in the quality of writing. I think I have a long way to go yet compared to those writers, but I promise to keep trying.

I too must apologize. I read your "Serious Trouble" and enjoyed it immensely though I did not leave any reviews (I am really bad with reviewing, something I am trying to correct). Is it too late to do so now? You have a wonderful sense of humour and I can't tell you how many times you had me giggling and laughing like an idiot. And yet your serious moments are so very touching as well. Dare I hope that you are working on another story for us?

AlyReviewed Chapter: 14 on 5/21/2004
Wonderful job! I've truely enjoyed both of your stories. I hope to see more from you in the future!
Thank you for sharing your talent with us!
Aly

Author Reply: Thank you for your review! Your comment of talent rather overwhelms me as I am so new to this writing thing, but thank you nevertheless. A big boost to the ego!

rikkiReviewed Chapter: 14 on 5/21/2004
A fine ending to such an angsty story. Legolas and Tavaro looking at the trees was my favorite part of this chapter, Legolas is starting to stretch his wings again. Tavaro meets the stubborness about coming inside out of the wind with a play on Legolas' better nature. The older brother protects and guides but manages to do it with humor. I'm hoping on your next story that Legolas has time to spend on the training field learning all the self-defense he can. He needs as much protection as he can find.

Author Reply: I am glad you liked the ending. I was rather concerned that I may not have covered all the bases. I enjoy writing the interaction between Legolas and Tavaro so maybe I'll concentrate just on the two of them in the next story. I agree that Legolas needs all the protection that he can find as I think he's just a natural magnet for trouble (at least in the little world that I have created).

Jay of LasgalenReviewed Chapter: 14 on 5/21/2004
A good ending is always satisfying, even while I'm sorry to see a story come to an end. The scenes between Legolas and his brother, and his father, were wonderful. I felt so desperately sorry for all three of them! This was a very good story, and if Engligh is not your first language, that makes it all the more remarkable!

Jay

Author Reply: Thank you for your kind words. I am feeling a bit lost myself to see this story end. It's been such a part of me for the past month or so. I guess I will have to start thinking about a new one, but there are already so many wonderful stories of a young Legolas out there (and yours are right up there) that it's hard to find new ground to break.

FirnsarnienReviewed Chapter: 13 on 5/19/2004
You know, I was so happy to see that despite the special place Legolas holds in Thranduil's heart, his brothers are not jealous of him. Instead, they seem to be happy Thranduil loves their little brother so much and they love him as much as their father. They are definitely one family that lives in harmony with each other. That is very rare, but I guess for Elves, who have lived for so long, loving their siblings and getting along would be the natural course. :) *sigh*

I also think the banishment was a better punishment than death would have been. Living with the knowledge of what they have done and the scorn of their fellow Elves will be worse than death. And knowing they can never find refuge in *any* Elven realm will force them to live like ghosts! A most fitting punishment for not using their own minds to go against something they knew was wrong from the start!

Ai! Poor, poor Leggy! Still suffering and healing slowly! ;) (woo hoo!) Heh, heh! And double Ai! He's morose and does not speak of what happened? And there is fear in his eyes? Oooh, sounds like Leggy is going through some *serious* mental angst! *rubs hands together gleefully* I can't wait till the next chappy! I bet we get some more wonderful Legolas angst and comfort! :) *another sigh*

Me thinks this family needs some serious time together to bond and re-establish their close ties. Not only was Leggy hurt, the whole family was hurt. I think seeing their little brother smile again is going to be the only way their hearts will heal, Thranduil's too. And after all Leggy's been through, it's gonna take some serious doing to get him to smile again, and mean it!

Hmmmm, Legolas has had some really deep bonding with Feren when he took the arrow meant for his older brother. He bonded with Aldeon when his older brother comforted him right after he rescued him from the men, then comforted him afterwards. He bonded with his father as they journeyed home. Is Legolas gonna do some serious bonding now with Tavaro. Seems like he's the only member of the family who hasn't really had a chance to really interact with his little brother. :) (hint, hint) Heh, heh!

Ok, enough prattling, hurry up with the next chappy! Holy moly! I can't wait!!! :)

FirnsarnienReviewed Chapter: 12 on 5/15/2004
Woo Hoo! An update! Thank the Valar, I was beginning to despair!!!!! LOL :)

*Squee* Oh, this chapter was great! Such wonderful Leggy angst, so much brotherly worry and so much fatherly relief and affection! *sigh* Just beautiful!

Hmmm, are Leggy's injuries taking long to heal 'cause of the grief he still feels for Salque's death? It would make sense of course. And on top of that, now he has to deal with Meldon's betrayal, an Elf he liked and trusted and spent time with. Poor, poor him. He's gone through much in a short time. *sob* But I love it! ;) Heh, heh!

Ai! I hope Thranduil deals harshly with those settlement Elves. They should have used their own minds instead of letting Ambartur and the others speak for them! They knew what they were doing was wrong, at least deep down they had to have known! :( If they are not repentant, I say, Exile is the least they deserve! >:(

I also sqeed when Thranduil and Tavaro jumped to rush to Legolas' side! They are such impatient Elves! I guess I'd be too if I were in their shoes! LOL Aldeon and Feren tender ministrations of their young brother gave me such wonderful heart pangs! And Aldeon brushing his lips over Leggy's hot brow, definitely made me squee like a fan girl! LOL I loved it! Ah, and it got even better with Legolas' whispered confession about his dreams. Huge lump in my throat with that one! *sob* And the way he clung to Aldeon's hand, eek! But I think what really got me, what really shows the devotion these brothers and their warriors have to Leggy, is when they heard someone approach and they surrounded Aldeon and Leggy. Feren and the other warriors placed themselves in front of them, ready to face any danger and would have undoubtedly died for the three princes. Egads, see what you've done! You've turned me into a raving fan girl that squees like a teenager! Aaaarg!

I sure hope the angst isn't over! I don't think it is though, Leggy is *far* from being well. He's still one pretty sick and injured Elf! :) *sigh* I sure can't wait for your next chappy! I hope it's soooooooooooon this time! Is it gonna be? Hmmmmm? See, now you've even got me on my hands and knees begging! LOL :) Can't wait, hurry!

Author Reply: It is always such a joy to read your reviews! I can see how easily writers can get addicted to writing when they get reviews such as yours.

I enjoyed writing this chapter. Having the Royal Family back together again in one piece also gives me a warm feeling. There is really nothing quite as wonderful as a close-knit family and I certainly hope that the Royal Family that I have created comes across as such.

I think Legolas is slow to heal because he has been so traumatized, both physically and mentally. He was a pampered and sheltered princeling before all this. To have so much happened to him in such a short time probably just totally knocked him off his balance. Hopefully he'll bounce back.

Squee away! I think there's a fangirl in all of us when it comes to our favourite elf.

FirnsarnienReviewed Chapter: 11 on 5/12/2004
Yes, most definitely! I agree! Hmmmm, I wonder if Tolkien even mentions that Leggy is one of the youngest Elves, one of the last born before evil took hold of the land. I know I've heard it somewhere. Well, I know for sure Leggy is portrayed this way in a few other fanfics, so yeah, I think him being so young (for an Elf) would be part of the reason he is so open to new ideas and so curious about the world around him. :)

Now, on to the story! :) As for Yulion, I was almost glad Aldeon and Feren had bad news for him! His arrogance and disregard for the hurt he'd caused made me absolutely livid! Leggy is still lying hurt and half dead, and all he can do is be arrogant and snippy!? Arrrrrg! Call me perverted, but I got a sense of pleasure seeing him crumple in grief at the sight of his family! :P Pooh on him! And I'd like to see his face when he realizes he has indeed, been betrayed by the very men he thought would help him! Double pooh on him!

Aw! Nice touch having Hesin watch over Legolas while Feren and Aldeon informed Yulion of the demise of his family! Hmmmm, I wouldn't be surprised if Hesin is appointed Legolas new protector when they return home and things get back to normal. :)

Ai! Heart pangs, heart pangs! Leggy's fear is so touching! I thought he was gonna have a panic attack when he thought Ambartur and Meldon were close by. And I love, just love, how Feren and Aldeon try to comfort him and make him feel safe! It makes my heart smile! ;) *sigh* Heh, heh, and see, not even they can deny Leggy anything! That sure explains why the rest of us are just...lost when it comes to that beautiful blond Elf! LOL

Well, another wonderful chappy! And as usual, it leaves me craving more. ;) I can't wait! :) Hurry!

BTW...your quite welcome for the reviews. :) I always try to point out things that have really touched me instead of just saying, "Cool!" or "Great story!" Seems more helpful this way and perhaps, a bit more inspiring! :)



Author Reply: Yulion has lost his family, which is probably punishment enough. But Thranduil hasn't got to him yet and I don't think the king will let him off easily once he sees the state of his son. I'm still trying to work out what Thranduil will do to the traitors.

Legolas has a way to go yet with his recovery and I am sure the nightmares won't stop any time soon. Hmm, more angst!

FirnsarienReviewed Chapter: 10 on 5/12/2004
Ai! At long last, he's been rescued! Thank the Valar! I was seriously beginning to worry! ;)

And Aldeon did find him tied to the tree! Oh, I could just see the anger and horror on his face. His fear was so evident when he ran like an Elf possessed and did not stop until they'd reached safety. I don't think he even realized how far he'd fun, or really even where. He just wanted to get Leggy away. And when the other Elf offered to carry Legolas, Aldeon just about freaked! He's pretty rattled! Poor him!

You know, I really loved the part where Legolas woke up and said it hurts, then Aldeon asked him where and all Leggy could manage to say was it hurts again. He's so far gone, that he really can't even think well enough to form something coherent enough for Aldeon to understand!

And Leggy's panic when he thought his brother was leaving him...that was so realistic. You did such a great job of conveying the horror Leggy went through by making him clingy in his delirium. It's almost as if he's reverted back to being an Elfling again.

I also liked the way you showed the other warrior's concern for Leggy. Clearly, this young Elf is not just loved by his family, but by his people as well. And when his brothers saw Leggy's injuries clearly and for the first time, wow, that was pretty poweful! Sure made me grimace and my heart ache right along with them!

I hope now that Leggy is in loving hands once again, he gets better. Although, I have to admit, I wouldn't mind if he took awhile to do it! Heh, heh! ;)

Can't wait for the next chappy! Please, please hurry! :)

BTW...I keep meaning to thank you and I keep forgetting. So I'll do it now before I forget again. Thanks so much for your quick updates! It's nice to have a new chappy every day for it lessens the anxiety we have to endure before the next chappy is posted! :)

Author Reply: You write such detailed reviews that it's amazing. Thank you so much!

Legolas really has gone through a lot. It's surprising that he's still relatively coherent and hasn't gone off the deep end. Hopefully being back with his family again will help him along the way to recovery.

I wanted the other elves to show their concern for Legolas as well as he has had to put up with nasty elves and men in the recent days. Also in this little world that I have created, I picture Legolas as being one of the youngest elves in Mirkwood and it would be natural for everybody to sort of baby him. Does that sound right to you?

Jay of LasgalenReviewed Chapter: 10 on 5/11/2004
Well, thank goodness Legolas has been rescued and is back with his brothers! He stands a much better chance of recovering now he's safe. Thranduil was wonderful in the last chapter - magnificent and enraged. I do hope the message reaches him soon that Legolas has been rescued!


Jay

Author Reply: Yes, at least Legolas is back with his brothers. I really didn't want to put him through any more as I was feeling rather guilty already. I am glad you liked Thranduil in the last chapter. It was quite difficult writing his reaction to what was done to his son. I had been worried that he may have come across being too sensible and kingly by not going on a total war path to rescue his son.

rikwenReviewed Chapter: 10 on 5/11/2004
Aldeon and Feren to the rescue! Too bad they cannot kill the baddies more than once. That was a classic in and out snatch and rescue, good job. Though I think poor Legolas is running out of skin to abuse. Now both he and I need lots and lots of comfort for all that hurt...at least until Legolas gets well enough to feel like the family is hovering too much. But the brothers have to get him home first and all sorts of evil things could happen in the meantime. Thank goodness you post on a regular basis, even waiting 24 hours is hard on the nerves!

Author Reply: Great brothers, aren't they? I am sure they feel the same way as you do, that they can't kill the bad guys over and and over again. Lots of loving comfort coming up in the next couple of chapters. Legolas needs it, as does his family.

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