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| First Meetings by Joee | 14 Review(s) |
|---|---|
| Templa Otmena | Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 2/14/2004 |
| The fic is coming along really well and it is a refrreshing take on the way in which Aragron and Legolas first met. Evil cliffie though... UPDATE SOON! Author Reply: Now I don't think that cliffie was too bad, I mean, there are pleanty more authors that create worse cliffie's and then make you wait longer than I do...lol. Thanks for reviewing =) | |
| tmelange | Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 2/14/2004 |
| How exciting! And what's wrong with Legolas...? More soon, please. Author Reply: Glad you like the sotry. We find out what's wrong with Legolas next chapter =) | |
| tmelange | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 2/13/2004 |
| I think I'm following this story on ff.net but just thought I'd leave a review here too to encourage you to keep writing. Great story so far. Kudos. Author Reply: Thanks, I needed the encouragement, I was almost considering not posting here anymore. | |
| Lera | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 2/12/2004 |
| Okay, I read all the way to the last chapter posted so something apparently caught my interest. You write really good settings and you're good at describing things. But the dialogue was really stiff and unnatural. It sounded like they were reading from a really bad script. If you just made the dialogue sound more natural, I'd continue to read the story. Somehow you've surrounded the characters with really believeable settings so I'd like to see this get better. I think you're actually using too proper of English. When we first met Aragorn, however, it was completely opposite. He sounded like a modern day teenager. Somehow I don't think they used "great" that way, nor did they call their horses stupid. So that totally threw me off, and then suddenly it switched back to the other extreme of too perfect, stiff English. Almost like it switched authors. I hope you can take this to heart, because there were totally some lines in there that gave reason for hope. For example: "You said three!" "I lied. This way you were more relaxed, whereas if I had waited for three you would have tensed up." That was funny, and I could see Aragorn doing it. Although a contraction between would and have, might've been nice. I know some are against Middle Earth inhabitants using contractions, but sometimes without them, sentances are just too long and wordy. Ok, one more thing, and I'll leave you alone. I'm shocked and apalled that Legolas was journeying to Rivendell alone. That's a dangerous journey especially through the Misty Mountains where orcs are always on the prowell. I thought that was what his father and brothers wanted to give him a break from! Sorry, but that just wasn't real believeable. Ciao, I'll read more if you write it and review more if you want. | |