News Resources
Login
Become a member
Help
Search
|
|
| About Us News Resources
Login
Become a member
Help
Search
|
|
|
| The Summary Version of LOTR by Lindorien | 33 Review(s) |
|---|---|
| Blue Iris | Reviewed Chapter: 14 on 7/18/2004 |
| ***Squeeeee**** Fangirls You!!!!! It IS all about Boromir and he is MINE I tell you, mine mine mine!!!!! Enough squeeage, that was brilliantly done as usual. If you are going to be a BNF, can I be your minion? Author Reply: Do you want to be an Evil Minion or a Good Minion? Weirdly, I'm already considering rewrites for this chapter. I am quite hopeless, you kow. And it IS all about Boromir. and NO, I am NOT OBSESSED. Lindorien | |
| Nilmandra | Reviewed Chapter: 14 on 7/18/2004 |
| Do you have any idea how hard it is to clean orange juice from a computer monitor? ROFLOL! Glad to see Elrond in iambic pentameter. You know, I dislike Movie!Elrond and Movie!Aragorn, but it is true the brothers Gondor and daddy got a really bad deal by PJ. And the Eagles? They were just following the Prime Directive, thats all. Really. Author Reply: What you need Nilmandra is LOTS of Saran Wrap. Wrap it loosely around the keyboard. Now c'mon! You yourself said its wise to put down drinks before picking up my fics! Yes, and dispite his Manly Telling Off of Aragorn, PJ did him wrong. Ah...I thought maybe the Eagle thing might be a Plot Hole that Tolkien failed to plug. I envision him thinking years later - hmmm...I wonder if anybody will ever wonder why, if the Eagle could get Frodo OFF Mt. Doom, he couldn't just drop him ONTO Mt. Doom. But that is a question for a Summary Chapter far, far in my future. Lindorien | |
| Sphinx | Reviewed Chapter: 14 on 7/18/2004 |
| Righto, Elrond. Your mother-in-law is going to be the kiss of death for this guy. *falls to the floor laughing* Strider remains my favourite chapter, though. :D You're right. That chapter is positively painful to go through. *wicked grin* I want to see you doing Farewell to Lorien. Like, now. Author Reply: Yeah, I want to see me doing Farewell to Lorien, also. Think I'll live that long? Lindorien. BTW, Strider remains EVERYBODY's Favorite Chapter. It's get's like a million hits compared to poor Tom Bombadillo. | |
| EomerofEastfold | Reviewed Chapter: 13 on 3/11/2004 |
| So, any plans for doing the other chapters? Though I fear how Rohan will fare in summary, you've done a marvelous job with the first book and I'd like to see more. ....... And it is funny. :) Author Reply: YES YES YES, I shall do other chapters. I have like FOUR, count 'em, FOUR WIP's going at the moment. I have to get into the swing to do these and I've been so caught up in Wonderland and Dr. Seuss, I've had a hard time coming back down to Earth and considering Serious Matters once more. | |
| EomerofEastfold | Reviewed Chapter: 10 on 3/11/2004 |
| Honestly, I do not see how Aragorn is supposed to be so attractive. But, then again, that's probably a good thing for me. Therefore, pine away. :) *Sighs* I want to be loved, too. :) *Shakes head* ANYWAY, back to the Federal Express issue, the darn letter would probably get lost somewhere between Bree and the Shire. Maggot's farm, perhaps, seeing as how there are all those mushrooms. :) *Thinks for a moment* I worked way too late last night and haven't had enough sleep, and yet I seem to be in a cheerful mood. Still, perhaps I should stop trying to be funny, as I fail miserably whenever I try. Author Reply: Sigh. It's the 'rascal' factor. That's probably why we all fall for Eomer also. It's that 'rough around the edges' quality. 'Course, my guess is that in the Real World, Rangers and Riders would make lousy husbands unless we were talking about the Forest/Park varieties and maybe Rodeo. Otherwise, there's not much work for them. You are doing fine at being funny. The more you attempt 'funny', the better you shall become. Smiles are infectious and once one starts laughing it is oft times difficult to stop. | |
| EomerofEastfold | Reviewed Chapter: 9 on 3/11/2004 |
| Okay, it's official. I've haven't laughed so hard in a very long time, but this line nearly had me falling out of my chair: "Apparently the hobbits now have five ponies. Does anybody know why? Are the ponies being fruitful and multiplying when I am not looking?" Ok, if I can compose myself, I'll keep typing. I forget where the fifth one came from, if I ever knew, but I do NOT feel like reading about Tom Bombadil again to find out. *Snickers* I'm sorry, I'm supposed to be taking this seriously, right? Right. :) Author Reply: Well, that's my problem with this tome and the reason so much happens that I don't even know about. I keep skipping parts. I never did get the fascination with the ponies. Usually, in good writing, if much time is spent on a topic it means it is Very Important to the plot. Despite my many readings, I fail to see the Importance of The Ponies. Perhaps its hidden in the appendices. I always skip those parts also. | |
| EomerofEastfold | Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 3/11/2004 |
| Wow! I'm loving all of this, it's so hilarious! But, I know, I'm supposed to be taking it seriously, aren't I? :) Btw, seeing as how I work for good ol' FedEx, I can assure you they do ship hazardous materials, so long as they're not common components for building bombs or dangerous to ship on an airplane. Therefore, they would likely not have any problem taking the ring to Mount Doom, but here's what would happen. The ring would be dropped of at Rohan to be placed on another plane bound for Mordor, but some hapless nitwit will leave the package in the rear compartment of his tug and forget about it. Then I, who's job it is to check these rear compartments for packages, would come along and find it, and then I would be stuck with the damn thing. Better left in the hands of hobbits, if you ask me. :) I wish Frodo HAD gotten off his lazy bum and left straight away. That MONTH the Fellowship spent in Lorien didn't help Boromir and Theodred's chances for survival much either. Author Reply: Yes, you are to take this Seriously, Eomer. It is a work of a highly Serious Nature, meant to aid writers in their dribbling, er....drabbling efforts. Just as well we left Fed Ex out of it. Lawsuits and Liability and all, you know. Should have just had the Eagles carry it. Can you imagine a power-crazed EagleWraith. I agree about the month in Lorien. I intend to deal with that matter Quite Thoroughly. | |
| Imrahoil | Reviewed Chapter: 13 on 2/24/2004 |
| Lindorien, I can't give you exact "screaming references", I am so sorry to disappoint you, but it just doesn't work that way. Well, it always starts with sniggering hysterically and that lasts quite a while, then it grates a bit - like Sam's servile ways, you know -, the smiles tend to be a little on the brittle side, and THEN the muttering begins "Yeah, you may be right there, but do you HAVE to spell it out like that" "Hey, you, that's one of MY all-time-favourite top five books, just leave it alone" "That IS blasphemy, aaaaargh", then I think tentatively about tarring and feathering - that lasts quite a while,too - and after that the sniggering starts again. It's repeatable, it works every single time. I hope, you feel appreciated enough now! And where is the "Council of Elrond", please? Author Reply: Yes yes yes yes - I feel appreciated. So glad you decided against the tar and feathering - the stuff is impossible to get out of clothing and its hell on the complexion. Council of Elrond - yes yes yes - I SHALL write it. I promise. I promise preciousssss. They all wantsss it. Shall leave nasty Faramir by the side of road contemplating murder of Aragron in iambic pentameter and I shall return to this and do Council of Elrond... okay okay okay okay - I shall get started. hehe - there's so much pressure for that chapter, I'm almost scared to write it. But not scared enough! Lindorien | |
| Kitt of Lindon | Reviewed Chapter: 12 on 2/23/2004 |
| Heh, I'm loving this. You're pointing out so many things that I had never noticed before that my mind is having trouble seeping it all in. I think that maybe one ends up over one's sword is maybe a magnetic attraction. Simply, the sword falls on the ground. Frodo had on the Ring and since the Ring is meatle, Frodo's body was magneticly pulled towards it. Other various characters were wearing meatle breast plates, helments, etc. Maybe I'm wrong, but more reasonabley I crazy. Author Reply: At last! Somebody postulates an answer to the question that has plagued me these many months - the question of how one ends up unconcious on the ground with one's sword beneath them. | |
| Maeglin the Traitor | Reviewed Chapter: 6 on 2/17/2004 |
| *Maeglin stares at the ragged edges of the parchment that he has just found. It looks as if it might be one of the lost scrolls of Lindorien. Can this be? Maeglin knows an archivist in Minas Tirith who would pay a pretty coin or two for its return. Maeglin's evil eyes glitter. He will need help to decipher this Common Tongue barbarity.* "Maglor, Maedhros! Bring Curufin in here! It is about time you lazy slugs earned your keep." *Maeglin taps his chin with slender fingers.* "On second thought, forget Curufin! He is drunk as an orc and totally useless at present. Bring Fingon instead!." *Maeglin's lips curl into a smile. Fingon. That should ensure Maedhros' cooperation.* "I think I have found one of the lost scrolls of Lindorien. Maedhros, Valar knows where you had time to learn, but you and Fingon know how to read common? *Fingon nods smilingly and Maedhros frowns. Typical, so typical thinks Maeglin.* "Get at it then, you worthless sons of Melkor!" *Maeglin hands them the scroll, while he and Maglor look for a corkscrew to open that bottle of Miruvor that weighted down the fading parchment. He lifts his head suddenly. What is that hideous sound? It is nothing that has ever been heard in Aman! He sees Maglor's face go white and whirls about to where they have left the other two elves." "Valar! Maglor, it cannot be! Maedhros is LAUGHING! Aiiiiii!!!" *Swiftly Maeglin moves to cover Maglor's horrified eyes at the sight of his laughing brother. Some things a brother should not witness, and even Maeglin can be moved to pity. Maeglin glares balefully at the short Scribe of Gondor.* "Lady, thou hast made Maedhros laugh!" *Maeglin holds Maglor closer as that elf raises a keening cry of horror. The Scribe of Gondor will pay vows Maeglin.* Maeglin the Traitor Author Reply: Lindorien dives under a corner table, popping her head up briefly to grab the pint sitting atop the thing and dives back under. There she sits, hopefully obscured, chugging her pint and trying to figure out how to get another one without being noticed by all the First Age Elves making a spectacle of themselves near the bar. She also wonders what the hell she said that made Maedhros laugh. Chapter six, chapter six, what in the hell did I say in chapter six. It's been months since I wrote the thing...Even longer since I read it... Lindorien stops in her wonderings and ponders if such a thing is even temporally possible. She decides she really does not care and also concerns herself with the matter of securing another pint. Crawling under the tables, moving stealthily from one to the next, she freezes. Before her are a pair of manly, muscular calves. Peeking out from beneath the table, she notices the manly, well-shaped chin of the Elf. She does not know which one it is. She does not care. She has never seen a creature so beautiful. Lindorien wonders if he is married, then remembers that she is. damn. | |