Chapter Twenty-four

Linwe woke up to bright June sunshine streaming in through her bedroom window. She smiled and took a moment to lie in bed, counting her blessings. This time tomorrow she would be dressing for her wedding. She could tell when Frodo kissed her the night before, that he was still unsure about going ahead with the wedding, after Merenwen’s announcement that Linwe would not be allowed to go to the West with him. But Linwe knew it was far too late for even Frodo to turn back now, so she did her best to reassure him.

Merenwen had arrived late the evening before, as she had promised. Linwe was looking forward to slipping off to Merenwen’s rooms to spend as much of the day with her as possible. Suddenly unable to wait another minute of what she believed would be an especially nice day, Linwe got up, hurried to get dressed, the left for breakfast.

Linwe found the dining room nearly empty. Other’s had obviously been there, had their meal and left, only Esmeralda and Rosie remained. "Good morning, Linwe," greeted Esmeralda, "Did you sleep well?"

"Yes, thank you. Where has everyone else got off too?"

"Saradoc and the lads have all left to check on the little cottage Saradoc spoke of as being a possible place for you and Frodo to spend your honeymoon. They are also planning on finding a location for the ceremony. I would imagine they will take most of the morning doing all of that . If the cottage is in adequate condition I will be sending a couple of girls who know how to be discreet to clean it up and make sure you have all that you need to be comfortable."

"Oh, well that is good." Said Linwe with a blush. "I suppose there is quit a bit to be done today, isn’t there."

"Yes Rosie and I were just discussing that. I know the two of you are anxious to get started to seeing that your gowns for tomorrow are made ready, but before you get started there is something I must show you."

Linwe’s curiosity was piqued. "What is it?"

"Be patient child, you will see soon enough," Chided Esmeralda, "All I will say is thank goodness you decided to have Saradoc marry you rather than run off to mayor Whitfoot right away. You would have been very sorry to have missed out on what I have for you."

As soon as Linwe was done with her breakfast Esmeralda led Linwe and Rosie to the rooms that Lila and Marmadas had used when in the Hall. The rooms adjoined Linwe’s room but she did not go into them. They brought back too many sad memories for her. When Linwe walked in she discovered that the rooms had been kept in such a way that she could believe that her Mother would come walking in from the bed room at any moment.

"I have kept the rooms aired and cleaned since their passing." Said Esmeralda correctly guessing the source of the surprised look on Linwe’s face. "I’ve never been sure when you might want to come in here. And I wanted to do what I could to make this a comforting place for you to visit and remember them."

Linwe was overcome, she felt tears fill her eyes and a lump form in her throat. Speech was not possible so she gave Esmeralda a hug.

"You are very welcome dear." Replied Esmeralda to Linwe’s unspoken words of thanks, "However this is not the only reason I have brought you in here." Esmeralda released her hold on Linwe, "Your mother left something for you, that I was supposed to give you in the event you should be getting married." Esmeralda led Linwe and Rosie to a table by the window. On the table there was a box, tied with a silver ribbon, that Linwe recognized to be the sort that one would store a dress in. "This is for you Linwe, from your mother." Said Esmeralda pushing the box towards Linwe.

Linwe untied the ribbon with a trembling hand, and pulled it away. She hesitantly lifted the lid off of the box revealing layers of muslin and a multitude of dried lavender. The fragrance of the lavender filled the air as Linwe started to turn back the layers of Muslin. As she turned back the last layer of protective fabric the light from the window fell on field of fabric that was bright white with a bluish hue. The fabric caught the light then reflected it back like sun on new snow. Linwe lifted the garment out, revealing a gown, cut in an Elven style, with silver and white embroidery, and a silver sash that would rest gently on the hips of the one wearing it. Rosie gasped at the sight of the gown. Esmeralda smiled. Tears that had threatened earlier now spilled freely down Linwe’s cheeks. "Oh Mummy!" she whispered.

"Your mother said that she had asked Merenwen bring fabric from Rivendell, just before your coming of age. Lila was sure that you would be betrothed soon after. She wanted to have something special on hand to make your wedding gown with. When Lila became ill she knew she would not live long and was still sure that you would marry. She didn’t want anyone else to make your wedding gown, so she went ahead and made it, hoping that one day you would get to wear it."

Linwe was overcome. She clutched the gown to her chest and started to sob, then found herself being held tightly between Rosie and Esmeralda.

~~~~~

"I think you have all of the furniture you could need here," said Saradoc looking around the old cottage. He, Frodo and Sam were inspecting the interior while Merry and Pippin looked over the surroundings outside. "It has only been empty a couple of years. I’ve had the place looked after ever since. I had thought some young couple just starting out would be happy to have such a nice place to themselves. But it is secluded, and things being as they have been the last two years no one felt brave enough to live so far from a helping hand. During the occupation we stored some food here. The ruffians never found the place. Esme plans to have a couple of lasses come here later today to dust things out and stock it with food, cookware and linens. I have a lad I can send to tidy up the garden." As Frodo, Sam, and Saradoc made their inspection Frodo felt a sense of sadness and grief come over him. He said nothing about it but was relieved when it was decided to return to Brandy Hall. Once there Frodo immediately went in search of Linwe. His feet seeming to steer him to the rooms that he now knew had belonged to Linwe’s parents. He found the door but the room beyond was empty. "Linwe?" he called out.

"I am in here." Came her faint reply from the adjoining bedroom.

Frodo went to the bedroom. He found Linwe sitting on the floor at the foot of the bed, next to a wooden chest. The chest was open filling the room with the fragrance of cedar and lavender. A variety of items spilled out of the chest others were strung out on the floor. In the middle of it all was a rather forlorn Linwe with a tear stained face, gazing at a dress obviously made for a small Hobbit girl.

"I can’t believe she saved this." Sniffed Linwe. "Mummy made this dress for me, when I was seven. It was for the harvest festival. Just before the festival, Merenwen came to visit. For some reason I took notice of her gown and decided that I only wanted to wear clothes like hers. Mummy wanted me to put this dress on to check the fit and I refused. Mummy got angry, I got angry too. I stamped my little foot. I declared I would never wear the dress. Poor Mummy, I was such a terrible child that day. She had worked so hard on this dress. In the end we came to an agreement. I would wear the dress to the festival as planned and she would start to make all of my dresses in more the style of Merenwen’s. I was then sent to bed without dinner that night for being so disrespectful." Linwe sighed, "Mummy and Papa would have done just about anything for me." A sob escaped Linwe. "I miss them so much!"

Frodo sat down on the floor just behind Linwe then gently pulled her into his arms. Linwe turned and buried her face in his waistcoat and cried. As Frodo held her, it occurred to him that Linwe had never said much about missing her parents, since that day the previous autumn, when he found her singing in the woods. To Frodo it seemed Linwe was always so busy looking out for him as well as almost everyone else around her. It had made it all too easy for him to forget that Linwe had lost her parents only a little over a year ago.

Frodo held her tightly, feeling within himself the grief and sadness that welled up and spilled over inside of her.

~~~~~

Frodo sat alone as the sun started its steady decline in to the west. His thoughts drifted lazily over the events of the last couple of days. The bickering over who would get the privilege to stand with Linwe had taken what could have been a heart breaking moment and turned it into what he felt sure would always be one of the happier memories. The last several days had been full, but to Frodo, they had been mostly full in a good way. It still seemed hard to believe that in less than a day he would be married, Frodo was nervous but very happy as well.

The plans had all been made. Linwe was with Rosie at that very moment tending to those little matters that ladies must take care of prior to a wedding. Frodo had started to feel a bit overwhelmed with the larger community living in Brandy Hall, then there was Merry and Pippin, being around the two of them could feel like being in a crowd. With all of the people and the quick progression of events in the last several days, Frodo had felt the need to get out by him self for a while.

Frodo sat with his eyes closed listening to the sounds of the forest, the faintest whisper of the movement of leaves alerted him of the arrival of Merenwen just before she spoke. "Good evening, Frodo."

"Good evening, Merenwen." Frodo said rising to greet her.

"It is a lovely evening, would you care to walk with me for a bit?" Merenwen asked with a warm smile.

"I would be happy to." Frodo returned her smile.

The two set off walking in an indirect towards Brandy Hall. Crickets were starting to sing their greeting to the evening here in the early dusk of the forest. All around them Frodo and Merenwen could hear the sounds of assorted creatures settling for the night, as others that preferred twilight began to stir as they prepared to go into the coming night.

"How are the plans for the wedding coming along?" Asked Merenwen as she stepped over a small fallen branch.

"As near as I can tell, all is in order. The wedding will be tomorrow as we had hoped." Said Frodo as he absently plucked a leaf form a near by bush then started shredding it to bits.

"Are you ready?"

"I think so. I am rather nervous, and this is all very sudden. I had a sound lecture from Sam on how dense I have been these last several months." Said Frodo with chagrin.

"You have been through quit a bit in the last year and a half or more. I don’t think it is all that surprising that you may have been distracted from your true feelings. Linwe loves you. She knew you needed time."

"But what if I had never seen? What if I had never been able to allow myself to love her?"

Merenwen glanced down to see that Frodo’s normally bright blue eyes now had a troubled gray tinge to them. "Linwe would have shown you her love, in any way you would have allowed. She would have stayed by your side, giving to you in much the same way as she has these past months. She would have cared for you as she could, but without pushing more on you than you were willing to accept."

Frodo thought about this for a moment then asked almost seemingly to him self. "But am I truly doing what is right? Tomorrow I am supposed to swear to cherish and care for her, but under the circumstances I wonder if that is a promise I can truly keep."

"Because you may have to leave with the Elves?"

"Yes. How can I fulfill my vows to her if I may later have to leave her behind?"

"Will leaving for the West keep you from loving her and cherishing her? Do you need to have her physical presence to have these feelings in your heart?"

"Well no, of course not. I could go anywhere and still love her above all else."

"Then half of your vows will remain intact, even though you may have to choose to leave one day."

Frodo looked up at Merenwen his brow furrowed as he struggled with the conflict he felt inside. "But how shall I take care of her if I am not with her?"

Merenwen stopped and looked down into Frodo’s eyes. "Is it so hard to see that even leaving her would be an act of love and caring? I do not know what will come to pass, dear Frodo. You may find the healing that allows you to stay in Middle Earth. I believe that is only possible by allowing your self to love Linwe freely and letting her return that love. But if in time, you should find that to stay in Middle Earth is unbearable, it will be unbearable to Linwe to see you suffer by staying. In that instance your leaving will be the most caring thing you can do for her. Linwe is bound to your spirit as you are to hers. Time and distance can not change that. Linwe understands what is at stake and she has made her choice. There is but one way that you could truly hurt Linwe, that is to turn away from her and leave her now."

"I wish I could believe that." Said Frodo quietly.

"Do you believe that Linwe saw and experienced much of what you did, while on the quest for the ring?"

"Yes, I have even seen one of the scars she bears from that. We have only talked about it once but I believe her." Frodo’s heart ached at the memory of that discovery.

"Now tell me, Frodo, how would you feel if you decided to turn and leave her this very night?"

Frodo struggled with the question for a moment, unsure of where this was all leading. "It would feel as though I had been stabbed in the stomach. My heart would feel as though it were being ripped out."

Merenwen knelt down so that she could better see his eyes in the growing darkness. "That is what Linwe would feel, as well as her own heart break. Your pain would increase her pain ten fold at the very least. Frodo, I know you only wish to save her from a broken heart, but this is not the way. Linwe needs you."

"I don’t see how. She does so much more for me, she gives so much. I feel it is I who needs her more than she needs me."

"But she does need you. Linwe has spent her entire life sharing much of your life, not only the quest for the ring; this bond goes back to the very beginning, of your lives. I believe she has even spent her entire life loving you, though she knew not who you were.

"Linwe needs this time for however long it is, to help her heal form the experiences she shared with you. Much of that healing will come from simply loving and caring for you."

Frodo closed his eyes and took a breath. "I want so desperately to believe this. I want to be with her."

"Then believe it. Believe that one way or another all will be well in the end. Believe that there will never come a time when you regret staying with her now."