Chapter Twenty

A Hobbitess had not lived at Bag End, since Bilbo’s mother Belladonna had resided there. She had been gone for many years by the time Frodo and Sam had arrived on the scene. For them one Hobbitess would have been significant change, but the changes with two in the house were unanticipated though that is not to say unwelcome.

Mostly the changes were rather small, like flowers. There were little arrangements of flowers in nearly every room. Frodo and Sam did not raise a fuss over this; in fact they discovered that they rather liked the cheerful presence of a bowl of blossoms. One day when Frodo and Sam were strolling about the garden, Sam made a suggestion. "Mr. Frodo, I was thinking of putting in some additional flower beds, for cutting purposes you understand."

"I think that is a wonderful idea, Sam. I think Rosie and Linwe would appreciate that very much." Frodo looked at Sam they smiled at one another in wordless understanding.

There was the matter of food. Now there really is no such thing as a Hobbit who can’t cook. Sam and Frodo both were pretty fair hands when it came to using a stew pot or baking bread. But there was something subtly superior to what Rosie and Linwe’s hands produced. Rosie had a talent for turning out the most delicate of pastries and Linwe had a gift for using in delicious and sometimes unexpected ways. What was good, simple, Hobbit cooking for most, became works of art at the touch of their fair hands.

Another small, comforting detail, was the little bundles of herbs that Frodo soon found inhabiting his wardrobes. Linwe had taken to seeing his clothes were kept laundered. Another task that Frodo was perfectly capable of tending on his own. But when Linwe washed and pressed his clothes she left little bundles of dried herbs tucked in among the crisp folds of his shirts and tied to the hangers in his wardrobe. Frodo found he enjoyed the fresh smelling fragrance that wafted out when ever he opened the wardrobe doors.

When Rosie or Linwe took a bath the gentle aroma of the bath salts they used would waft out of the bathroom and down the passage long after they had finished their ablutions. Just the mere presence of the two Hobbitesses added a gentle warmth, Frodo and Sam had not realized that they had been missing. Granted they had both been guests at the Cotton home for an extended period of time. But there these little details had been lost in surroundings of a much larger family. In the familiar, quiet surroundings of Bag End they stood out like the first flowers of spring in a winter weary landscape, and were equally as welcome.

The change Frodo liked the most was the way Linwe seemed to have a gift for knowing just what Frodo needed often it seemed before he himself did. She would appear in his study with a cup of tea, just as he was about to come looking for one. As Frodo worked to put Bilbo’s notes in order, Linwe would come to rub his shoulders or massage his temples. Once in a while Frodo would stop and think that in some mysterious way, Linwe always knew.

~~~~~

Frodo sat up in his room, late one evening. It was a rather chilly night for June. Frodo couldn’t seem to get his mind to settle so that he could sleep, so he decided to take advantage of the unseasonable chill and build a small fire, in hope that it would help him to relax. Once the fire was built, he sat down in his armchair. In his mind he started to go over comforting soothing thoughts, a very quiet part of his mind noted that most of the thoughts were of Linwe. Frodo drifted off to sleep where he sat.

~~~~~~

Linwe had decided to retire early for the evening. The first of the summer vegetables were coming ripe, so she and Rosie had been busy that day with preparations to start canning and preserving for the winter stores.

Feeling a little tense she tossed about in bed. Finally she decided that a bath would likely soothe her. After a good long soak in lavender scented water, she got out, dried herself with a thick towel, relishing the softness of it against her skin, then she donned her favorite linen night dress. Soon after climbing back into bed she was fast asleep.

Sometime later, Linwe was startled awake by a nightmare. In her dream she saw leering faces. Vile creatures clawed at her. Whips lashed at her. She woke up with a start. She sat up in bed, her breathing was heavy, her brow damp with perspiration. She sat there for a moment trying to shake off the nightmare, but is stayed with her. "Frodo!" she cried with sudden understanding. Linwe sprang from her bed, dashed out of her room then down the passage to Frodo’s room, on swift silent feet.

Without bothering to knock she let herself into Frodo’s room. She found him sitting in his chair by a small fire that did not appear to have been burning for very long. Frodo was asleep but struggling in a nightmare. Linwe went to his side and called out his name as she shook him in an attempt to wake him. Suddenly Frodo’s eyes flew open. Linwe was shocked to see that they were blazing in fury. Without warning he reached up, grabbed her then threw her across the room. Linwe slammed into a small cabinet. A vase sitting on top of the cabinet was knocked off in the impact and fell to the ground, shattering when it hit the tile floor. Linwe then fell to the floor herself having hit her head on the edge of the cabinet.

Frodo awoke with a start at the sound of the shattering vase. He sat for a moment stunned, taking in the scene before him. Linwe lay in a crumpled heap on the floor, apparently unconscious. As Frodo collected his wits about him, he rushed over and knelt down next to Linwe.

"Linwe!" he cried. He reached out to touch her then pulled back his hand in fear of hurting her more. "Oh Linwe! What have I done!" Linwe did not answer, she just lay there, pale and still, her hair scattered about her. In her fall her nightdress had shifted, causing the wide opening of the neck to shift to one side and slip off of her left shoulder. Frodo felt tears welling up in his eyes. "Linwe, I’m so sorry," he whispered. Finally he reached out with a trembling hand to gently brush some hair from her face. Linwe moved her head slightly, a low moan escaping her lips.

"Linwe? Can you hear me?"

"Frodo?"

"Yes, it’s me. Don’t move too much, you may be badly hurt," said Frodo laying a hand gently on her head. "I should go get Sam and Rosie, maybe we need to send for Healer Burrows."

"No Frodo, don’t leave me, not just yet anyway." Linwe said in a small voice.

"But you have taken a bad fall."

"Please," she said her voice a little louder and stronger, "I will be fine in a bit. There is no need to disturb Sam and Rosie."

Frodo hesitated a moment, "All right, I will wait a little while."

Frodo stayed kneeling at Linwe’s side. He took one of Linwe’s hands and clutched it in his own, his face filled with remorse. "My dear Linwe, I am so sorry!"

Linwe held her eyes closed for a moment then blinked several times. "What happened?"

"I was having a nightmare. I felt something grab my shoulder and start shaking me, so I tried to push it away. I guess it was you who I pushed. I didn’t actually wake up until I heard the vase break. I am so sorry, I never meant to hurt you."

Linwe smiled weakly up at Frodo. "It’s all right Frodo. I’m fine, or I will be in a moment. Can you help me sit up?"

"I’m not sure that is such a good idea. I still think you need to let me go and get Rosie, she really should take a look at you."

"No! I am just fine. A bump on the head is all, but this floor is hard, so I really would like to sit up."

"I suppose if it is too much then we can ease you back down, or maybe I can lift you into the bed."

Frodo managed to work an arm under her then he carefully helped her sit up, easing her back against the cabinet. "There now, how do you feel?"

Linwe sat with her eyes closed. "I’m a little dizzy, but it will soon pass."

"I am so sorry."

"It was an accident, Frodo, nothing more. I am fine, really!" said Linwe trying to sit up a bet straighter. The movement caused the neck of her gown to slip a bit further down her shoulder. Frodo’s eyes were drawn to the movement. At that moment a piece of wood shifted in the fire, causing flames to flare up high. In the brighter light Frodo caught a glimpse of what appeared to be a scar.

"What is this mark on your shoulder?" he asked while staring intently at its place.

Linwe gave Frodo a quick nervous glance "Oh, it’s nothing. It is just an old scar form childhood." She then tried to pull the fabric of her gown up to cover it but it slipped off her shoulder again.

Frodo continued to gaze intently at the slightly shimmering line. "No, I know I have seen that mark before." Slowly he reached up and touched it then quickly pulled his hand back. "It’s cold!" First shock, then slowly fear swept through him.. "No! It can’t be!" He exclaimed in disbelief, "Linwe, tell me where you got this." He demanded.

Linwe was now fully alert. "It is nothing! It is not important!" She said wincing at his tone.

Frodo looked straight into Linwe’s eyes. She saw anger flare up briefly there. "Tell me how you got that scar." He said coldly.

Linwe hesitated, her lip began to tremble. "I got it from the same blade that gave you yours. At the exact same moment you were wounded, so was I." She said quietly tears as tears spilled down her cheeks. Linwe watched, as Frodo seemed to collapse in on him self. His face filled with pain and horror. "How is that possible?"

Linwe closed her eyes trying to pull together her thoughts. At last she opened them but she kept her gaze turned towards her hands that fidgeted in her lap. "So much of what you went through, on the quest, I shared with you. The wounding from the Nazgul blade, the fall of Gandalf, Shelob’s sting, even the end when you succumbed to the power of the ring and fought with Gollum. I felt it. I saw it. It was as though I was in your head. Through all of those months I saw fragments of what you went through. I could even feel the weight of the ring as though I carried it myself at times."

"How?" Asked Frodo from where he sat with his fists supporting his head, his eyes clenched shut.

"You and I are tied together spiritually, most likely since before we were born, our possibly simultaneous births being a result of that bond."

Frodo stood up and started pacing about the room. Finally he stopped before the fireplace. Leaning against the mantel, he gazed into the fire for many long moments before speaking again. "How long have you known of this?"

"I started to put it together the day you told me your tale of the quest. During all of those months of sharing your experiences, I never knew who or what all of the visions were about. Two days after you told me your tale, Merenwen came to see me. I told her all that had happened, all that I had started to put together. That was when she told me the truth of what she knew."

Linwe sighed "When she had stayed with me at Brandy Hall, she had told me that the measures she had taken to insure my birth. Were measures used to insure the birth of a healthy Elf child. Those measures tried to do just that, make me a healthy Elf. I was born a Hobbit with some uniquely Elf like qualities. She told me that one of them appeared to be an ability to see other places and times. That was how she explained my visions to me then. But Merenwen, it turned out, knew there was more to it than that. She knew of your quest and the wounding you had received at the hands of the Nazgul. It became apparent to her what it was I was truly experiencing. She said nothing to anyone, for fear of both our lives. If the dark lord had some how found out what was happening to me he could have used me to stop you then likely kill us both.

Merenwen waited there at Brandy Hall. She watched over me and talked with Esmeralda. It was Esme who mentioned our shared birthday. It was Saradoc who mentioned that you had been born just after sunset, which Merenwen knew was about the same time of my birth. As soon as Merenwen was sure I was recovering, she left for Rivendell to speak with Lord Elrond of it all she had learned. It was he who came to the conclusion that we were tied to one another in spirit. He even proposed that it was possible that we even took our first breaths at the very same moment."

"Why did you not tell me this before?" Frodo asked quietly.

"I didn’t know how. I was not even sure that I should. I didn’t want you to be hurt by it."

Long moments passed when the only sound to be heard was the crackling of the fire and the crickets chirping outside the window.

"How long have you experienced these visions?"

"Merenwen believes that I have had them all of my life. Even as a baby I would go into unexplained trances. She and my parents decided not to say anything to me about them since I was not aware of them when I came out of them. I remembered nothing."

"Why did you come in here tonight?" he asked in a strained voice, his back still turned towards her.

"I came because you were having a nightmare. I started to have it too. I woke from it then realized it was you who was having it. I came in here to wake you from it."

It did not matter that Frodo had his back to her. Linwe could feel the confusion and anguish inside him. She wanted to go to him and give him what comfort she could, but thought it better to wait and see what he would do or say.

Finally he spoke. "From the very start of this, everything I did, I did to protect those that I love. I took that cursed ring and left the Shire, to protect everyone here. I said that I would carry the ring to Mordor, because there were Elves, Humans, and Dwarves I could call friends. I did not want all that was dear to them lost. I thought I was blessed to have eight friends volunteer to help me with this task but then Gandalf fell. To protect the rest of them I tried to go on without them. Sam nearly died trying to follow me. Boromir died at the hands of Uruk-Hai sent to capture me. The others just barely survived their own journeys. Merry and Pippin will always bear scars for what they went through at the hands of Orcs.

When it was all over all I wanted was to come home. But I returned to find that the very evil we had all worked so worked hard to protect the Shire from, had come and done its damage anyway. You alone seemed untouched. You alone seemed unhurt by it all. I have taken so much comfort from believing that at least you alone had remained unharmed."

Linwe rose up and went to stand behind Frodo. She reached out with one hand to lay it on his shoulder. "Frodo, please don’t torture yourself like this."

"How many scars do you bear?" He asked, his voice flat and lifeless.

"I don’t understand?"

"You said that you shared much of what I went through. You bear one scar from the attack of the Nazgul. How many more of my scars do you bear?"

Tears spilled down Linwe’s cheeks, "Does it matter, Frodo? Does it really change anything?"

"Please, Linwe," his voice starting to give way to his inner torment, "I want to know the truth."

Linwe sighed, her shoulders fell, "There are two more," she whispered. "One is on my neck from Shelob, the other is on my right hand where your finger was bitten off."

Frodo gave a great shuddering exhale of breath. With his eyes closed he kept his face towards the fire. He felt empty. He felt like all that he had worked to regain of himself, since returning to home, had suddenly escaped him again. He wondered if he would ever find peace, let alone happiness. "I don’t know how much longer I can bear this, Linwe. It seems that no matter how hard I try, this still hurts the people I care for the most. I didn’t want it to hurt you too. Now I find I find that I seem to have hurt you the most."

"Frodo, look at me!" Linwe’s voice cracked like a whip

Frodo didn’t turn. Linwe took his arm then pulled him around to face her. His eyes remained cast downwards, and his face was damp from the tears he had shed. Gently Linwe took his face into her hands. She lifted it until she could look into his eyes. "I love you, Frodo. The only way you could ever truly hurt me is by pushing me away and refusing my love. Please, Frodo, please let me love you."

Frodo looked into at Linwe, his eyes pleading. "I don’t know if I can."

"You can. Just close your eyes."

Frodo closed his eyes. Taking a deep breath Linwe leaned forward then gently pressed her lips to his and kissed him. She heard his startled intake of breath. She kissed him again, this time she felt his lips move hesitantly against her own. She pressed her lips to his a third time, letting the kiss linger, caressing his lips with her own. Frodo parted his lips slightly. The kiss deepened. Linwe slid her hand up along his neck to the back of his head where she let her fingers get tangled up in his softly curling hair. Gently she pulled him towards herself.

Without thinking of it, Frodo slipped his arms around her, drawing her body close to his. The longer he kissed her, the tighter he held her, the more his resistance weakened, the more he wanted to love her freely. In his mind flashed image after image. Memories of her hand in his, her comforting presence and soothing voice when he was ill. The ever-present loose curls that trailed down into her face, that seemed to beckon to him to reach out and touch them. The way it had felt holding her in his arms as they had danced at Sam and Rosie’s wedding. There were so many brief glimpses of blushes and smiles, the memory of each one inviting him to love her. He wanted to.

Linwe felt herself, melting into Frodo’s embrace, savoring this kiss, and was overcome with how right it all felt, like coming home. But underneath all of this she could sense that Frodo was still holding back, while the rest of him yearned to love her more. Linwe’s own passions started to wane as she felt a cold hand of fear take hold of her heart. What if she was never able to break through the wall of resistance Frodo had built up around his heart? The thought of never being able to freely show Frodo how much she loved him made her heart want to break. Then from deep within her, Linwe’s more stubborn self rose up. Linwe realized that this was her moment. Now was the time for her to do something drastic that not even Frodo in all his grim determination could not ignore. She took a deep breath then pulled back from Frodo, removing herself from the comfort of his arms. As she stepped back, she looked into his eyes. There she saw the passion and longing. She kept her gaze firmly locked on his as she reached up and slowly started to undo the three buttons at the top of her nightdress. Blushing deeply, embarrassed at her own daring she allowed the gown to slip off her shoulders and fall, pooling about her feet.

The site of her nude body in the glow of the firelight, took Frodo’s breath away. He could only stare in amazement as Linwe stepped forward and then reached up to start unfastening the buttons on his nightshirt. When all had been undone, she slid her hands inside, slowly she pushed the fabric off of his shoulders until it too, lay in a pool at his feet.

Frodo shivered as Linwe’s hands glided down his arms. When she reached his hands she gently pulled them around her as she stepped into his embrace. She let her hands slide back up his arms to the bare skin of his chest, making him gasp. Finally she leaned her head forward. With the slightest touch of Linwe’s lips Frodo felt the last of his resistance slip away. He suddenly found him self starving for her, kissing her mouth hungrily. She shivered. He held her closer.