Chapter Forty-one

Frodo woke up well before dawn, on the twentieth day of September. In one corner of the bedroom he saw the dark form he knew to be his pack. He had gathered the few belongings he would take with him, the day before. Among the few personal possessions was one of Linwe’s hair brushes, the ruffled night dress she had worn on their wedding night, and a small portrait of her, which had been painted just two months before, it’s small case also held a flower and an ivy leaf that she had worn in her hair they day they were married.

Frodo had slept the night with his arms tightly around Linwe. Her summer fragrance filled his every breath. Maybe I don’t have to leave. Maybe I would be all right if I stay, Frodo thought to himself. He turned over the reasons for leaving. He feared for the safety of those around him, most assuredly Linwe’s. When he was caught up in reliving the pain and torment of the two dreaded anniversaries, he knew he would forget where he was and who he was with. Eventually he would strike out at someone and do them harm. But if he was aware of this then perhaps something could be done about it. Maybe if he shared with Sam, Merry, and Pippin, the extent of his lingering suffering they could help him get through those times with out doing harm to anyone. But then Frodo remembered the dreams. It was because of a night mare that Linwe had come to his room one fateful night. Caught up in the horrors that were flashing through his mind he had attacked Linwe, throwing her across the room. In the end the events of that night had come out well, or had they? If Linwe had not come to his room that night would they have ever come to declaring their true feelings for one another? Or would they have continued on as they had, very close friends, but nothing more. Would his heart be breaking as much as it was now? Could she have been spared the pain she now felt? If only I had never come home. If only I had stayed in Rivendell with Bilbo. If only we had never laid eyes on one another. Surely that would have been better. But they had. No sooner than Frodo thought the wish to have stayed in Rivendell, his heart betrayed him and had him recalling the very first moment he had seen Linwe, or rather recalling what little he could. All Frodo could remember was gazing at her. Time and place had become irrelevant. Breathing was unimportant. If someone had set fire to his clothes he doubted he would have noticed. All he had been aware of was her. Later that night, Frodo found himself in his room in the Cotton’s house. He had come back to himself to find the candle had burned low. His feet and body ached. Apparently he had walked into his room and had just stood there, lost in his thoughts of her. How long he had stood there he was not sure of, but it had frightened him. At that moment he had decided that Linwe should be avoided if at all possible. It had not been Linwe that had frightened him, but the feelings that erupted in him when he thought of her.

If he could turn back time. If he could relive the past to take it all in a new direction, would he? Frodo thought about it. He thought of Linwe’s smiles, her touch, the very fragrance of her reminded him of summer. Why was her summery scent so important to him? Why did it captivate him so? Because it was the scent of hope and the promise of all things good. His quest to destroy the ring had happened during the time that the world slept in the lonely silence of autumn and winter. It had come to an end just about the time that the warmth of spring was waking all things growing. Nothing bad had happened to him during the summer months. Two years before, summer had come to him while he was still in Minis Tirith. Frodo had been surrounded by visions of hope and a world truly healing as he himself tried to heal. Yes, many had died in the last days of the War of the Ring. But many more had lived. Friends who had faced nearly impossible odds had survived. He had survived. Good had survived. He saw all of that in that first summer after the quest. Hope had taken further beating when he had arrived home to find his homeland under siege. They rallied friends and neighbors they had known all of their lives, and took back their home. Then Linwe was there. Seeing her that very first time, had been like getting an early taste of the peace and tranquility of summer long before the summer months were due to arrive.

If he could turn back time, would he do away with all of that? Would he have done away with the peace and joy Linwe had brought to his life? The answer was no. Despite the pain that loving her then leaving her was causing him to endure, he would endure it all again and more. Sharing this little part of his life with Linwe was allowing him to leave his home with something more than just the reminders of past suffering and the taint of evil that still seeped through him. It was allowing him to leave with a substantial amount of the peace and hope that had been so hard won. Without Linwe, Frodo would likely be leaving with more of a sense of defeat.

Frodo held Linwe close, savoring the few quiet moments with her that remained, and immersed in the peace of knowing that for so many reasons, loving Linwe, openly and freely had been the right thing to do, just as leaving her would be the right thing as well.

Frodo closed his eyes. Inhaling the sweetness of Linwe. He closed his eyes and drifted off once more to sleep.

~~~~~

Frodo’s nose twitched. He smelled bacon and tea. He stirred. Suddenly there was a pair of supple lips firmly pressed to his own, moving in a way that he could not help but to respond to in kind. After several happy moments of this Frodo nudged Linwe just the slightest bit to stop the kiss. "Good morning, Mrs. Baggins."

"And good morning to you Mr. Baggins," Linwe replied with a sweet smile. There was a freshness about Linwe, first thing in the morning, that Frodo absolutely adored.

"Is that bacon and tea I am smelling?" he asked while tenderly pushing an errant curl from her face, simply for the excuse of touching her hair and soft skin.

"Yes, as a matter of fact it would be."

"Why, may I ask, do we have bacon and tea in our bedroom?"

"Because, my dearest love, I have seen fit to go to the kitchen and retrieve whatever provisions that I thought we would be in need of through out the day, so that we may spend the entire day in our room, alone."

"But dear, what will Sam and Rosie think?"

"Since you bring the matter up, I did get a chance to speak with them while I was gathering the necessities. Rosie is, as always in complete support of the idea, circumstances being what she believes them to be, and we being the couple we are, she deems it most appropriate. Sam on the other hand wondered why we were bothering to stay confined in our room all day when all of Hobbiton and Bywater now knows what it is we do on our picnics."

Frodo laughed, "Perhaps Sam has a point. It looks to be fine day, how about we take our provisions and go on a day long picnic?"

"Because by eleven we would have every boy from here to Took Borough watching us partake in our intimacies. I do not particularly care for an audience, thank you very much."

"You make an excellent point. Mother and Father taught me at a young age, to share with others, but some how I don’t imagine that they ever intended me to share the beauties and wonders of my lovely wife." Frodo emphasized his claim by pulling Linwe near once more to kiss her soundly.

~~~~~

By late afternoon, Frodo and Linwe changed plans and decided to leave their room to enjoy dinner with Sam, Rosie, and Elanor. Linwe had to admit to herself once again that Frodo had been right in insisting that they not tell anyone of his plan to leave. If they had, then this their final day together would have been marred with tears and arguments from their friends and family. As it was she and Frodo had been allowed a peaceful day together. The evening was spent for the most part cheerfully. Frodo and Sam had each packed for their journey earlier so all was in readiness for them to leave at dawn the next day. Sam had been concerned about Frodo making the long journey to Rivendell. Frodo insisted that he would not likely be a day out of Bree before coming across one of the rangers that patrolled the region between Bree and Rivendell, but still Sam was not convinced. Finally is was Rosie who offered the solution that Sam accompany Frodo into the wilds then the two of them could camp out until such time as a ranger came along to guide Frodo the rest of the way to Rivendell. Sam was not entirely sure of this plan either, as it meant that he was likely to be gone for as much as two to three weeks, but he finally decided he owed it to Linwe see to it that her husband was passed to a proper guide. He had made vows to be of aid to them both, in anyway he was able after all.

The evening chat between the two couples was kept light and happy. Elanor enjoyed getting extra attention from her father and uncle. If one were to look through the window to observe the scene they would have seen nothing more than a warm picture of family, with barely a hint of the deep sadness shared by two of the members of loving group.

Linwe wished the evening would never end. But to her expected disappointment it did. Elanor was tired out from so much attention, eventually she fell asleep in her Uncle Frodo’s arms. Sam and Rosie wished to take advantage of the early sound slumber of their daughter so Frodo somewhat reluctantly agreed that it was time she be put to bed but insisted on carrying her to her cradle himself. After tucking Elanor in under the supervision of her mother and father, Frodo said good night to Sam and Rosie. He gave Rosie a hug farewell, as he and Sam planned to leave before even she would be up for the day. It was when Frodo looked Rosie in the eye to say farewell that she got a glimpse of a deep sadness. Rosie shivered, certain that something was amiss, but clueless as to what it could be. She started to say something, but Frodo took her hand and squeezed it, giving her a firm look that seemed to ask her to stay silent. He then turned to go to Linwe in their room.

Rosie shivered as she watched Frodo leave. Sam had his hand on the small of her back so he felt the tremor. "Are you all right, Rosie?" Rosie turned to Sam with eyes tinged with sadness and fear, "Merry is right, Sam, something is not right. I know it is a bit silly, but just now, I felt as though I was seeing Frodo for the very last time and he knew it."

Sam pulled his wife into the safety of his arms, "I am not going to let anything happen to Frodo. If I have to I will see him all the way to Rivendell myself. However it happens he will get there well enough and no one there will let him return home alone. He is the ringbearer, and believe me there are a lot of folk in this world who would drop all that they are doing to guard his every step no matter where he went. Frodo will be back safe and sound. Who knows, maybe while the two of us are tramping about the next couple of weeks he will decide it is too far to go without Linwe, then return home with me. This time next week, you could be welcoming us both back."

Rosie smiled, "That is quite likely the truth of what will happen. I can not imagine Frodo willingly going for more than a couple of days without Linwe.

~~~~~

Frodo arrived back at his and Linwe’s room to find Linwe had set numerous candles around the room. Many of them giving off an enticing fragrance, that never failed to excite him. Linwe, herself, was sitting in the middle of their bed, looking most enticing in a gown made from a sheer fabric, allowing Frodo inviting glimpses of what was hidden beneath. A smallish parcel wrapped in creamy white paper and tied up with a dark blue ribbon, rested on the bed before her. Linwe smile, "I have a birthday present for you."

Frodo returned her smile, "And I have one for you," he said pulling out one hand that he had kept behind his back, to reveal a similarly wrapped parcel, this one tied with a pale pink ribbon, "who will go first?"

"Oh you must," insisted Linwe, "last year you gifted me first, so this year I get to gift you first."

Frodo chuckled remembering the frog made of chocolate that he had put on her pillow for her to find when she woke up, "I suppose that is fair enough." He sat down on the bed, set down his gift for her, and then took the parcel she held out to him. "Thank you," he said simply then leaned forward to kiss her. The kiss almost caused them to forget the gifts.

Linwe pushed him away, "there will be enough of that soon enough, right now, you need to open your present."

"Yes dear," said Frodo, then preceded to undo the wrappings on his gift. Within seconds, he removed ribbon and paper to reveal a book bound in blue leather. He opened up the book to find the pages filled with drawings of himself and Linwe together, or just Linwe, as well as letters addressed to himself, all of them signed by her. Tears quickly filled his eyes as his eyes skimmed over words of love, detailed accounts of special moments shared together, all of them illustrated with life like drawings of the two of them together. Frodo reached out to squeeze Linwe’s hand after several long moments he was finally able to speak. "I think you must open your gift now."

Sensing that there was more to the exchange now, then either of them had previously planned, Linwe picked up her gift and quickly removed it’s wrappings. Inside she found two items. At first glance both items appeared to be books bound in blue leather, matching the book she had just given Frodo. But one had a small clasp made of brass. She unfastened the clasp and opened up the cover to reveal a small portrait of Frodo on one side, and a lock of his hair set under glass other side. "Oh Frodo, it is so beautiful!"

"That isn’t all, open the other."

Linwe opened what was in fact a book. It was identical to the one she had given to him, with the exceptions that this one had drawings of just Frodo to go along with the drawings of the two of them together, and the letters were all to her signed by him and detailing his love for her and memories he cherished. "Oh my... of all things... I can’t decide to laugh or to cry," she said with a small chuckle as tears spilled down her cheeks.

"I think we both went to Nick Cotton with similar ideas. I originally went to him early last spring and asked him if he could paint a pair of small portraits. I had him do one of each of us, and he mounted them so that they would be easy for us to carry with us where ever we happened to go. A month ago he presented me with not only the finished portraits but the book of drawings as well. He told me that he had spent the better part of the spring and summer watching us when he could and doing sketches for the portraits and he thought I might like to give you the drawings as well. He also pointed out that he had included some blank pages so that if I wanted to I could write something for you. Now that I see your gift, I am guessing that Nick was working for you as well. It is just the sort of thing that Nick would think of, that we should each have a book of the other’s memories."

Linwe succumbed to her tears. "They are so beautiful. I look at the drawings and I could almost believe I could reach out to touch your picture and find it is actually you. Somehow I don’t think you will seem so far away now."