Chapter 36 – “Up A Certain Creek”

For some moments after Aragorn had walked away, everything was completely silent and still in the dimly lit corridor except for the occasional shuddering breath from Penny.

Eventually Halladan and Arvain looked at each other and read bewilderment in each others’ eyes.

“Did you know?” Arvain asked slowly.

“No.” Halladan shook his head. “No, I had no idea. If I had known, would I not have told you before now?”

Penny, hearing them, lifted her head and looked questioningly at them both. It was Halladan who explained.

“That Father had some premonition or foresight that he would not survive the War,” he said simply.

Penny said nothing. She was devastated. She was at that stage of something like numbness - the pain, confusion and shame were so overwhelming that she could barely function. She felt so horribly ashamed for having upset Elrond, for having spoken to him as she had, and at the same time she was still trying to process everything Halladan had told her, let alone Elrond’s explanation. Her head felt like it was about to explode.

In that particular moment, though, more than anything else she was acutely aware that these two young men knew that she had known their father would die, that she had watched him ride south and that the pitiful attempt she had made to save his life had only resulted in him being burdened with that knowledge all the while he travelled.

“I am sorry,” she said quietly. “I am so very sorry.” And the words felt so pitifully inadequate. “I tried. I… I tried and I failed, and it meant Elrond had no choice but to tell him. It is my fault. If I had not told him, then your father would not have… But how could I not try to…?”

God, what a mess! What a stupid, horrible, agonising mess!

There was a sudden movement in the doorway as Halladan came to life at last and strode over to her.

“No, Pen-ii.” Leaning on his stick with one hand, he took her firmly by the arm with his other hand and looked at her. “You must not do this. Father said what he did precisely so you would not blame yourself, so you would not feel this way.”

“But how can I not feel this way, Halladan!” She looked up at him. “Lord Elrond had no choice, and I put him in that position!”

Halladan, his face contorted in sympathy and sorrow, had no words.

“Pen-ii, if you felt you had to tell Lord Elrond, then…” Arvain was trying to sound as comforting as he could. He also crossed over to join her as he spoke, and Halladan let his hand fall away from its hold on Penny as he did so. “Besides, if Father had foreknowledge… well, let us just say that I have never known foreknowledge not to come to pass. He knew. If he had foreknowledge, he knew, no matter what Lord Elrond may or may not have told him.”

His voice had become a little thick and gravelly as he spoke. He cleared his throat and dropped his gaze for a moment.

“Arvain is right, Pen-ii.”

Penny shook her head. She was not convinced. “I will not forgive myself for this.”

“That is what you said to Lord Elrond just now,” Halladan pointed out. Arvain looked shocked, raising his eyebrows at Halladan in surprise.

“I know,” Penny muttered, feeling utterly miserable and staring at the floor. “It was unforgivable. Everything I said to him I should have been saying to myself, though I little realised it.”

“I did try and stop you.”

“I tried to stop myself.”

“Well, yes, he did push you a little…”

“What exactly was said?”

Halladan looked at Arvain for a moment. “I am not sure that I…”

“I basically told him he had no right to tell your father, that foreknowledge was one thing but what I know I know for certainty and that is a completely different matter, that it was unforgivable of him, that he should have known better and that he should not have dared to do such a thing.”

Arvain looked appalled.

“Pen-ii, what were you thinking?!”

But Penny did not hear him.

“But it was me that did that to him,” she said in a very small voice. “I tried so very hard to try and stop it, and I just made it worse…”

“You tried to stop us riding south?” Arvain looked confused as he interrupted her.

Penny looked at him. They did not know, then? That only confirmed her suspicion that Halbarad had mentioned this only as he lay dying.

Which just seemed to make it all worse and Penny was not sure why.

“No,” said Halladan, replying to Arvain’s question, “I think she tried to persuade Lord Elrond to prevent Father from riding south if he possibly could. Is that correct, Pen-ii?”

Penny nodded. Then, trying to keep control of herself as best she could, she explained slowly and quietly what those last few days before the Dunedain had left Imladris had been like for her: how she had battled and struggled within herself, uncertain of what to say (if anything), knowing any attempt she made would be wholly futile for all sorts of reasons and yet desperate to do something, anything that might change what she knew would happen. She had let Boromir walk to his doom, and she could not bear to do the same thing to Halbarad without some sort of fight.

“Lord Elrond only told me what I had already told myself: that even if your father knew, he would still ride south. That Aragorn needed him was enough, let alone that Sauron may fall as a consequence.” She looked up at them. “He asked me. Lord Elrond... He asked me if Sauron would fall.” She trailed off.

“Father would have told you himself that nothing was more important than that, Pen-ii,” Halladan said grimly. “Nothing. No matter the loss.”

How could he say that? How could he say that after all he had been through, all he had lost, and seen, and suffered?

“If Sauron had not fallen, Pen-ii,” Arvain added, “…well, it does not bear thinking about.”

He did not go into detail. Penny could only imagine, and deep down she knew he was right.

“Father could never have stayed behind. It would have broken him,” Halladan explained. “He would have considered it a great dishonour, akin to treachery or cowardice. For Aragorn to call for us, for him, and not to respond…? Never! Not Father, nor I, nor Arvain.” He paused. “Nor Hirvell either.”

Arvain murmured his agreement.

“You did the right thing, Pen-ii,” Halladan continued. “That you did what you did, or tried to do… well, I would suspect Father was most touched and moved by your action because I do not doubt that if Lord Elrond had to tell him what you had said, then he would also have told him the circumstances in which you did so. For all it was, perhaps, a futile gesture, it was sincerely meant and you only thought to do good by it, to try and save his life. I thank you for that.”

And then Penny remembered the talk Halbarad had had with her, the private farewell he had given her in a dark corridor the night before he had left, when he had told her things she had only half understood about being proud of her and how she should continue to live her life, that it was hard for those left behind, for those who had to grieve… and she finally understood. It really had been a goodbye: a goodbye and an advice, no doubt, for how to cope, how to carry on without him.

The two brothers had seen her expression change, watched as her eyes filled with tears once more.

“Pen-ii?” Halladan’s voice was quiet.

“When he last spoke to me before he left Imladris… I have only now realised the significance of it. He was talking of men going to war despite the possibility of death and how hard it was for the women who wait behind…” She looked up at them both. “In his own way he… he was bidding me farewell.”

Arvain suddenly reached for her then, taking her into his arms and holding her as her silent tears wet his tunic. Halladan stood beside them both, looking at her as she stared unseeingly past him, his face etched with sorrow. He slid one hand gently down her arm and took her hand in his.

At last she pushed away from Arvain, Halladan released his hold on her hand and she wiped her cheeks.

“Ai, what a mess,” she muttered.

“Mithrandir was right,” Halladan said. “You must apologise to Lord Elrond.”

She nodded, feeling a wrench of shame in her gut. “I know. What I said was inexcusable.”

“Oh, I think you had an excuse. Not a good enough one, perhaps, to speak to him in quite such a manner, but you did have reason for your anger, however misguided.”

Penny looked at Halladan. Was that supposed to make her feel better?

“What? I am being honest!”

“Such a way with words, brother!” Arvain almost laughed.

“Arvain, you did not hear her!”

“Well, no. I do not think I have never seen Lord Elrond so upset. What did you say to him, Pen-ii? I mean, aside from all you told me just now? There must have been something more than that to get him quite so furious…”

Halladan and Penny said nothing.

Arvain’s eyebrows rose. “It was that bad?”

“I did not use bad language, Arvain. Aside from the fact I do not know any in your languages of course…”

“Pen-ii, no one mentions Elros or Celebrian to him,” Halladan said quietly, his face stern.

“What?!” Arvain was shocked.

“Or at least not unless they are not a close intimate of his and even then certainly not in public,” Halladan continued. “Nor Queen Arwen’s choice. You were fortunate indeed that neither King Elessar nor Lord Celeborn heard you.”

“He insisted I tell him what I was thinking, Halladan.”

“Even so.”

“I was only pointing out that he, of all elves, should have understood most… I was not rejoicing in his pain, I was saying I had always felt for him because of what he had been through…”

“Even so,” Halladan insisted.

Arvain was clearly having difficulty processing it all. “You… But I mean… What?!”

Penny’s heart sank as she took in Arvain’s reaction.

“Well, I think I can count out Imladris as an option of where to stay,” she murmured.

“Ah, now, do not say that. Lord Elrond is nothing if not kind and wise,” Halladan said, trying to reassure her. “He will understand what drove you to say what you did and accept your apology with grace and generosity, I do not doubt. As you said, he himself pressed you to speak your mind at the last… though it would have been wiser if you had resisted him, or better yet not to have given him cause to push you in the first place.”

“Once Lord Elrond has calmed down he will understand you did not mean to insult him by what you said. You mentioned subjects that are painful to him, true, but that is not in itself offensive, it is merely… unfortunate.” Arvain was being remarkably diplomatic. “I feel sure he would still welcome you at Imladris and insist you still consider it as an option.”

“I would feel uncomfortable knowing I spoken to him in such a manner and yet was taking advantage of his hospitality. It would not be right.”

Arvain tried to throw his brother a look which said he thought Penny had a fair point, but Halladan deliberately avoided his eye.

“I think you are running a little ahead of yourself,” Halladan replied, his tone reassuring. “Wait until you have spoken to him. You may be surprised. Yes, he is angry now, and not without reason, it is true, but his anger will subside.” He paused, his expression serious. “Ai, Pen-ii, for all I was trying to stop you, as ever you have proved yourself to be as strong-willed as Father always said you were.”

“Hey, that is not fair!”

“Is it not? You showed restraint, Pen-ii, and yet you were not restrained enough. It took all your strength of will to not speak at first, and yet you did speak in the end and spoke in a manner ill-befitting the one whom you were addressing. If you had taken time to ask him what had occurred, he could have explained it to you, and there would have been no need for you to have raged at him as you did. There are times when, no matter how angry you are, you must still keep a level head.”

“There speaks the seasoned warrior, Pen-ii, and he is right. In battle if you let your passion run away with you, that is when you make mistakes. You must channel that rage, focus it, take control of it rather than have it control you.”

“It is all very well for you to talk,” Penny muttered. “I imagine you have had training in such things.”

“That is true, Pen-ii,” Halladan conceded.

“And I think I should point out that not that long ago I would have simply shouted and sworn at him.”

“As you did to Father?”

“Well… yes, frankly.”

Halladan and Arvain smiled.

“I realise that what I have said is dreadful, Halladan. I do not need you to point it out to me.”

“Do you not? What are friends for if not to advise each other even if the other does not wish to hear it?”

There was something in his look as he said this and the near hint of a smile round his mouth that made Penny wonder if he was still talking about her outburst or about something else entirely. Arvain also caught his brother’s look and furrowed his brows for a moment but said nothing.

“Not only that…” Halladan paused and suddenly looked distinctly uncomfortable. “This is as much my fault as anyone else’s. I should not have told you.”

“No! I am glad I know! Besides… he wanted you to tell me, did he not? He asked you to.”

“I could have better chosen my moment to do so, though. I simply thought, since I was discussing what else he had said…”

He trailed off and looked helplessly at his brother. For once he did not seem entirely the self-confident, older sibling he usually was.

“I can understand,” Arvain said quietly and Halladan looked grateful.

Penny could understand as well, or guess at the possibly unconscious reasons behind it. To have delayed discussing it would have meant Halladan would have had to take himself back to that scene, that moment of his father’s death for a second time. She could not blame him for wanting to say it all when he had had the chance.

“This is not your fault, Halladan,” she said.

“Well, I apologise nonetheless. I will also do so to Lord Elrond and explain as best I can.”

“Do you think I should go and apologise to him now?”

“No!”

Both brothers spoke simultaneously, and with such urgency that Penny was worried. Was Elrond really that angry? She looked at the slightly alarmed expressions on their faces and had her answer.

Oh crap.

Her face fell.

“I shall go and find King Elessar or Mithrandir,” Halladan said, “and tell them you wish to apologise at the soonest opportunity. They will be able to suggest when would be the best time to broach it. Perhaps it will be tonight, perhaps tomorrow. I cannot tell you.”

“Would… would one of you be there with me?”

The brothers exchanged a glance.

“It would be better if you did this alone, Pen-ii,” Arvain said.

“Well, yes, but…” She was genuinely scared Elrond would never forgive her.

“I will come with you,” Halladan said.

“We both will,” Arvain added. “Even if we have to stay outside the door.”

So that was that.

Halladan hurried off down the steps to seek out Aragorn or Gandalf. Arvain and Penny came to sit at the top of the stairs and for a little while they said nothing. Then Arvain spoke.

“Can I ask you something, Pen-ii? Now that this is all out in the open? When you knew of Father, that he would not survive the War, what did you know exactly? Does your tale tell of his fall? Of how it happened? I know your knowledge is quite detailed at times.”

“All I knew was that your father held the standard, the one Queen Arwen had made for King Elessar, as you rode onto the Pelennor from the ships. He is then listed amongst only a few names of warriors who would never return home once the battle was over. I knew the battle and that was all.”

She glanced at Arvain and he nodded as he stared out onto the square. She was not sure quite what he had expected her to say or how he now felt about what she had told him.

“It was one of the things Lord Elrond pointed out to me: my knowledge could not aid him in any way. I did not know when it would occur within the battle, what enemy would…”

She trailed off. This was not a good idea to talk about these things with someone who, as far as she knew, witnessed the whole thing.

“We protected him to the last, Pen-ii.”

“I know. Faelon told me.”

“He died knowing we had won the battle. He died peacefully.”

Had he? Had he really? Or was that just Arvain hoping he had and trying to reassure her?

“I am glad.”

What else could she say?

They fell back into silence, each one lost in their thoughts. It was getting late, and normally Penny would be thinking of going to bed, but despite being tired she was also desperate to try and sort this out.

As it was, Halladan was soon back saying he had found Gandalf and his considered opinion was that they let Elrond rest overnight to allow him time to calm down, reflect on the incident and be able to look at things objectively in the morning. Penny’s head dropped to her knees because she knew if he was saying that, Elrond was very probably still absolutely livid and, for all she knew, busy ranting and calling her every name under the sun.

“I hardly think that is likely,” Halladan protested.

Penny was not so sure.

For very obvious reasons she was somewhat subdued when she arrived at her chambers. Mireth and Eleniel could tell something was amiss, but she would not be drawn, saying it was tiredness and nothing more. She did not fall asleep for a long time. She just stared at the wall with her stomach churning and her brain replaying the scene over and over and over until she nearly felt sick. Even when she did finally lapse into unconsciousness, her worry and stress invaded her dreams so she was restless and waking up every half hour, or so it seemed. At last she gave up all pretence, got dressed just as dawn was breaking and left the chambers before Mireth or Eleniel could stop her.

She had half hoped Halladan might have been taking one of his ‘avoiding sleep walkabouts’ when she emerged into the courtyard, but there was no sign of him. She sat by the fountain for a little while, letting her hand trail in the water, and then slowly wandered over to the embrasure in the wall on top of the massive spike of rock that faced east.

At some point a little over an hour later, as people slowly made their way to the Hall for breakfast, Mireth and Lindir came over to her, asking her if she was to join them. She said she was not hungry, thanking them and apologising but saying she wanted to be alone for a while. They nodded, smiled and left her to it, though Mireth did look concerned.

“Is anything amiss, Pen-ii?”

“Oh, I am just thinking.” She saw Mireth’s look. “Really, I am fine, Mireth.”

Mireth did not look convinced. She also noted her question went unanswered, but respected Penny’s request and followed Lindir to the Hall.

For a little while there was some bustle in the courtyard and then it all fell quiet once more, with just the odd servant or Citadel guard criss-crossing the wide open space. Pen-ii stared out at the Pelennor and the mountains of Mordor beyond. She was not even sure what was running through her brain. She was just waiting: waiting for what would have to be one of the most grovelling apologies she had ever had to make in her life and what would probably be a right royal dressing down from a furious warrior ellon (who would have every right to refuse to allow her anywhere near his household again) and that was if she was lucky. In the meantime she pondered on how much she had screwed up and how she was, through no one else’s fault but her own, now likely enough stuck in this bloody city for who knew how long.

“Lady Pen-ii?”

She froze. Then slowly turned and looked up. She swallowed.

“Lord Elrond! I…I…”

“I understand you have something you wish to say to me?”

She could not tell if he was still angry or not. His voice was calm but cool, his face expressionless.

“Yes.” She quickly got to her feet, aware that she was still sitting while he was standing. She smoothed her skirts, suddenly unable to look him in the face.

“Well?”

She took a moment to collect her thoughts.

“What I said to you last night… was outrageous. I apologise with all my heart. I was upset and shocked by what Halladan had just told me. It is no excuse, I know, but it might better explain why… Halbarad… Halbarad only told him as he lay dying, so even he, Halladan, I mean, did not know the circumstances surrounding it all. You were right, I should have stopped to think, and I did not. I should have stopped to consider who you are and your character. I grossly misjudged you, and for that I am truly sorry.”

She stared at his feet the entire time she spoke.

There was a pause and then a heavy sigh.

“You upset me greatly, Pen-ii.”

“I know.”

“You disappointed me also.”

Okay, that one cut like a knife.

“I had expected better of you. You forgot who you were speaking to, forgot how much I cared for Halbarad, failed to consider how much pain such a situation would have caused me.”

She nodded. “I know.” Her voice cracked a little.

“After all the kindness I have shown you.”

Penny closed her eyes. It was so hard hearing this.

“I was saddened, Pen-ii, that in so brief an instant your opinion of me could sink so low.”

Ow, ow, ow.

“I cannot tell you how sorry I am,” she said quietly, nearly in tears, “how much I bitterly regret last night. You have only ever treated me with kindness and respect, and you did not deserve to be spoken to in such a manner.”

There was a brief silence.

“And I am sorry about referring to…”

“Please,” he said hurriedly, holding up one hand. “I was as much to blame as you. I let my anger and my surprise at your behaviour and accusations get the better of me. I should not have pressed you as I did.”

‘Even so,’ Penny thought. She could almost hear Halladan saying it.

“Will you not even look at me?”

She looked up to find that, even if he was not smiling, his face was not unkind. It had a softness about it that had not there before. He considered her for a moment and then shook his head.

“Ah, Pen-ii,” he said, walking past her to the seat in the embrasure and sitting down. He gestured to her to join him and she did so. “You need to curb that temper of yours, it does you no credit. For all that what you said to Lady Sidhwen was correct, you should not have said it or certainly not in the manner you chose to do so. And as for last night…”

She looked at her hands in her lap.

“You were right, Pen-ii, I have known what it is to carry the burden of mortality, if not for myself then for others.”

She could not bear to look at him.

“I am glad, perhaps, that their stories are considered sympathetically. However it was most presumptuous of you to mention such things to me, let alone in such a way and at such at time. More than that, my wife had nothing to do with the point you were making, and for you to mention Arwen’s choice…” His voice had become dark. “Do you not think I am aware of it every day while we are here, given she is now married, given we will soon say our farewells?”

She looked up at him then and could see the pain in his face.

“But no matter.” He looked away abruptly, out to the Pelennor. “You were angry and, since you did not fully understand the situation, I can understand your rage, though frankly you should know me well enough by now to have realised at the time that your anger was entirely misplaced. However,” he turned back towards her, “I accept your apology.” There was a forced, thin smile and she knew for all he might forgive he would not forget, but then nor would she. “It was well said and I can sense that your distress, guilt and shame are genuine enough.” He looked at her a little more keenly. “I should perhaps also add, since you no longer blaming me, that you should not now blame yourself.”

Penny could not quite look him in the eye.

“No doubt that is why Halbarad wished you to know: that it was as I said to you it would have been – he made his choice in spite of his knowledge. He would have ridden south no matter what he faced, as would any of those who rode with him. He did not want you to feel responsible for his choice, a choice that he made himself in full knowledge of the consequences. Did it not occur to you that given he had some foresight, perhaps he wanted to know? Wanted to prepare? Why else would he burden his sons with knowledge of this strange woman he had met and taken under his wing?” He paused. “Let us put this matter behind us, Pen-ii. Perhaps I should have told you I had spoken to him, and if so, then forgive me, since I can guess it came as something of a shock to you. I only… I only wished to alleviate some of the burden that you seemed determined to take upon yourself.”

“I realise that. I thank you for being so considerate. Truly.”

“Well, then, that is an end to it.” He stood. “But let me say this, Pen-ii, as an advice, if not a warning: learn to control your emotions better and to think before you act or speak. It may be you do not know all the facts, or have missed something that should be obvious to you in your train of thought. Never jump to conclusions. Always take someone’s previous character and actions into account. You may find others less forgiving than I if you make a habit of this.”

His face was not unkind, but it was stern and left Penny in no doubt that this was, in effect, the telling off moment. She was amazed he was being so calm about it. She nodded.

“Yes, Lord Elrond. I thank you for your kindness.”

“Did you have breakfast?”

She was a little thrown by the complete change of subject and when she looked at him she could see he was trying to seem his usual self with her. His eyes did not seem quite as warm as they usually were, though, but then she could have been imagining it. She shook her head in reply to his question.

“You should try and eat. Do not worry, Pen-ii, I am no longer angry or upset. I understand what happened and you have apologised. We need never mention it again.”

A slightly warmer smile this time, and she attempted a nervous one back.

“There. All is as it should be. I will leave you now. There is much to be done given we leave in two days. And you have Halladan to thank, by the way. He accosted me on my way out from breakfast and made it clear you wished to speak to me, though Mithrandir said as much late last night as well. I will see you later, Pen-ii.”

She inclined her head and murmured her gratitude once more as he left.

She could not quite believe it. He had been kind, generous and thoroughly decent when he would have had every right to have read her the riot act. Of course, this was Elrond, ‘kind as summer’ Elrond, but even so Penny was still a little taken aback. That said, of course, he had made it clear in no uncertain terms just how much she had crossed the line. He had been generous, but also had expressed his anger and disappointment in her. The latter had hurt her deeply, though she knew well enough she had deserved it. The more she thought about it, the more convinced she became that Imladris was not really an option any longer, if only because she would feel so awkward accepting hospitality from someone she had been so rude to, who clearly felt she had, effectively, thrown back all his kindness in his face in that one moment. Time would tell, perhaps. She had not dared mention Imladris to him, nor did she think she would have the courage to do so any time soon, either. She realised, with a heavy heart, she had better start getting used to the idea of possibly staying in Gondor after all.

She glanced up to see a few people in the courtyard, no doubt having just left breakfast. She could see Erestor coming to meet Elrond and a few other people she recognised looking her way. No doubt some would wonder what their talk had been about. Not much she could do about that.

She had just spotted Halladan on the steps up to the Hall of Feasts when she realised he had glanced in Elrond’s direction, and then stood, beginning to make his way over to her. Given she could also see Eleniel and Mireth heading her way, she decided to walk to meet him rather than have the two ellith beat him to it. They met on the edge of the courtyard.

“So?”

“He was most gracious and kind. Far more than I deserved.”

“Did I not tell you he would be?”

But they were interrupted before she could tell him any more of what had gone on.

“Could Lord Elrond not even persuade you to have breakfast, Pen-ii?” Eleniel laughed as she joined them.

“I am not hungry.” Penny smiled.

“Are you sure there is nothing amiss, Pen-ii? You do not seem your usual self.” Mireth was still worried about her friend.

“I think, with our moment of leaving coming soon, Pen-ii is worrying about her decision of where she will stay,” Halladan replied.

“Oh?” Mireth looked at Penny.

“Yes, that is true. I have been thinking about it a lot more recently. I have been trying not to think about it for all this time and suddenly I realise I need to make a decision.”

“Not straight away,” Eleniel said with a smile. “Is that all that is worrying you? You should have said! I imagine Lord Elrond had some words of wisdom for you, did he not?”

“Y-yes,” Penny said hesitantly, not looking at them.

“Well, then, we have just the thing to keep your mind off it.” Mireth beamed and linked arms with Penny. “We had the idea we would take you to buy something today. Since we leave soon it may be your last opportunity and I know how set you were on doing this.” Mireth was clearly very pleased with her and Eleniel’s plan. “You still want a memento of this place, do you not? If you choose not to stay here?”

Penny felt a weight in her stomach. What would be the point of getting a keepsake now?

“I was thinking we could go and see the glassblowers,” Eleniel suggested. “After all it is very fine work they do, and unique to the city.”

“That sounds like a wonderful idea,” Halladan agreed. “I might join you. I could do with the walk.”

“What is this? Making plans? You have your lesson, Pen-ii, do not forget.” Erestor had wandered over to them and was smiling broadly.

So the others said they would meet her after her Westron lesson, and Penny went off with Erestor. As they walked side by side across the square, Penny was half waiting for him to say something to her, either about her not being at breakfast or about the previous evening directly. He was a close confidante of Elrond’s and, if anyone knew about last night outside of those who witnessed it, then he would, and yet he did not say a word. Even throughout the lesson he made no reference to it – oblique or otherwise – and was he usual affable self.

Either he was making a very good show of not referring to it or else he genuinely did not know. Whichever was the case, it made Penny feel much better about the whole thing.

Waiting for her in the square afterwards were Halladan, Mireth and Eleniel, as they had promised. Lindir was chatting to them but explained he would not be coming on the shopping trip.

“Thanks to you, Pen-ii, I have to meet with one of Istdor’s scribes. There are only two days left and there is still much they want to make a record of.”

“Perhaps someone should suggest Istdor travel with the King as far as the Gap of Rohan,” Mireth replied. Penny could not help but grin along with the others.

“Don’t you dare!” Lindir wagged his finger at Mireth.

“It would keep Rhimlath quiet,” Eleniel pointed out.

“And there would be no escape from either of them,” Lindir retorted. He paused then turned and looked at Penny. “What, no quip from you, young madam?”

“Mireth beat me to it,” she said, smiling, but it was clear even to Lindir that she was slightly out of sorts still.

“The sooner we find you something pretty to take back to Imladris, the better,” Mireth said, taking Penny’s hand and dragging her off to the gate. Penny let her pull her away, but at the same time she really wished Mireth would not keep mentioning what she suspected was an increasingly unlikely proposition.

It was not only that, though, that made her a little subdued as they wandered slowly down through the circles.

This would be the first time she had been in the First Circle since the mugging and she was not looking forward to it. Having such good friends with her helped enormously and all three were telling stories, joking and laughing till pretty soon she was in the spirit of the thing. She was nervous the first time they crossed the square, but having Halladan beside her and the two ellith chattering away at her to distract her helped to keep her mind off it and she ended up crossing it several more times. In some ways it was perhaps a little easier given it looked so very different without all the market stalls around, though it was still a hive of activity nonetheless.

She studiously avoided the side of the square where the alley was, though, but that was perhaps understandable.

Mireth had brought Penny’s money purse with her (though Halladan made a point of insisting he keep hold of it), and between them the three managed to guide Penny round the various cratfsmen’s workshops so she could decide on what she wanted.

She bought only one small item in the end.

“Are you sure that is all you want?”

“There is nothing I truly need, Eleniel. As you said, this is more to remind me of my time here in Gondor if it turns out I shall head back to the north.”

It was purely ornamental: a glass vase, no more than five inches high, but with a wide base and bowl. It was a very bright green and had white swirls blown into it. She had suggested a leather hair tie, as she had first considered some days previously – one of those that was an oval shape and with a stick running through it. Her hair was that much longer these days and having such a contraption would be useful. The others had protested, insisting that such things were easily made and any one of them could make her as many as she needed. Even Halladan agreed.

Buying the vase had been ‘interesting,’ for want of a better word.

After much nudging and encouragement from Eleniel, Penny had hesitantly tried her limited Westron to at least make a start on the transaction by herself. However, she had quickly become mired in confusion the moment the man started insisting she could have the vase for practically nothing.

Apparently going shopping with two elves and a Dunadan in tow worked wonders.

They all protested, of course, at which point a strange ‘reverse-haggling’ process took place in which the man insisted he would accept nothing more than some ridiculously small amount and Halladan insisted just as forcefully that it must be worth no less than a far larger amount. Eventually they met in the middle somewhere, Penny finally handed over a coin and got a few silver ones in return, and honour was satisfied all round.

It had been nothing if not a palaver, though.

At lunch Penny was wary, again wondering how many might know of what had transpired the night before with Lord Elrond, but it soon became clear that no one outside of that immediate circle who had witnessed it would ever be any the wiser. Or else, they were keeping it to themselves.

King Eomer was expected the following day, and the previous evening at supper, though Penny did not know it, a messenger from Dol Amroth had partaken of the victuals on offer. He had come with word that Prince Imrahil was due the following day, and in fact during lunch word quickly spread that ships flying the Dol Amroth standard had been seen on the river, already nearing the quay at Harlond.

An excited crowd gathered in the square, the King and Queen among them as a party was got together to head down to give an official welcome consisting of nobles from Minas Tirith, Elrond, Celeborn, Galadriel, Gandalf as well as the King and Queen, obviously.

Penny was aware that she had not spoken to Celeborn, Gandalf or Aragorn since last night – she had not seen them to do so, nor was now the time. With guests arriving she wondered if she would get any opportunity any time soon.

As the welcoming committee headed off towards the gate, Arvain and Lindir spotted Penny and dragged her off with them to a vantage point in the south-facing part of the wall so they could watch as the Prince arrived. He had come with a small company of men, and it was quite impressive, even from a distance, with the sun gleaming off their mail and the spears and shields brandished.

The party took their time to come up the hill through the city, and she had promised Meresel she would go and visit her. As she crossed the square to head down to her house she spotted Durion scurrying across the square, bustling maidservants in front of him.

“Did I not tell you the chambers in the East Wing! Hurry! Hurry! He will be here at any moment! And you…” He had pointed a finger at a rather startled guard as he had passed by them. “Would you please send a message to Lord Faramir that I only have room for twenty men here in the upper circles if I am to house who knows how many Rohirrim come tomorrow evening…”

She chuckled and shook her head. Poor Durion. He would probably be glad to see the back of them all.

A little while later, at Meresel’s house, the children came running to say that the welcoming committee with Prince Imrahil and various nobles from Dol Amroth were passing by the house. They went out to watch, part of the crowd that lined the streets cheering and giving the Prince the welcome he deserved given he had fought alongside them all, indeed had taken charge of the Gondorian troops for a time on the field. Penny only caught a glimpse of him, though, and it was not until supper she managed to see him properly.

He did not look his sixty-three years, and while it was certainly clear he was a generation older than Faramir, Penny could immediately see the Numenorean and elvish bloodline in him. Indeed, Faramir bore a striking resemblance to his uncle and when they, Aragorn and various Dunedain and elves were all grouped together, it was quite an impressive sight.

Gandalf made a point of introducing Penny to him, and he was most gracious, but clearly did not see her as anything other than another young lady of the court and Penny did not speak more than a few words to him. The men who had travelled with him, though, were all those who had fought on the Pelennor and were well known to most there. Penny was introduced to several by Halladan, Arvain and Faelon who spoke highly and warmly of their southern kin. It amused Penny no end to learn Rhimlath was particularly taken by the men from Dol Amroth, declaring them to be closest in kin to the elves themselves thanks to the elvish blood that ran in their veins.

“You can always tell,” he muttered to her. “Such a purity and nobility of spirit cannot fail to manifest itself.”

Penny knew he was right, but she still rolled her eyes none the less. It was just so typically Rhimlath.

All the while, though, she was conscious of something having changed. Whether it was in herself and purely imagined, she was not sure. She felt shy, suddenly, of talking outright to Aragorn, Celeborn or Elrond. Even Gandalf, when he had insisted on introducing her, had said little to her.

“I am glad you have apologised. It was the right thing to do.”

That was all he had managed to say to her. He had smiled kindly at her, but Penny still felt uncomfortable and self-conscious. She spent most of the evening outside in the square with Halladan, for once not pushing him to go and dance. Indeed at one point he suggested they go and take a turn around the floor and when she looked hesitant it was his turn to be insistent.

“It will take your mind off things,” he said. “You have nothing to worry about.”

She allowed him to do so, and then found several others insisting they take a turn and she could not refuse. She left as quickly as she could in the end, since it seemed the only way to escape it. She tried to have an early night, but had only another restless sleep with vivid dreams once more.

The next morning preparations had to be made. They were leaving the next day, and King Eomer was expected sometime in the evening. Washing had been done earlier in the week, so as little as possible would be needed to be washed and dried today. For Penny it was just one dress and one shift. She would wear today what she would wear tomorrow and for the next few days. They went to the washing stoop straight after breakfast to give as much time as possible for their clothes to dry afterwards. Erestor had agreed she could have her lesson after lunch instead. There was a light drizzle as they made their way down, and Penny worried they would have to take damp clothes with them, but the sun was back out by the time they were hanging out their washing and it soon dried.

She spent the rest of the morning with Istdor immersed in books. It was her last chance, after all.

Lunch was a strange affair, with the men from Dol Amroth milling about and a general buzz in the air as everyone geared up towards leaving. The hobbits were both happy to be finally thinking of going home, but sad also, Pippin in particular.

As she made her way across the courtyard with Erestor for her lesson, she noticed the Dunedain were gathering in a group, looking more serious and grim than usual. Neither Arvain or Faelon had said anything to her at lunch, though she had sat near both of them. Now she thought of it, though, Penny realised they had both been quite quiet, a little more subdued than normal throughout the meal, Arvain especially.

Erestor saw her looking at them with some curiosity.

“They are heading to the burial mounds. To say their farewells.”

Penny felt a cold sadness somewhere in her chest. As she watched, Arvain happened to catch her eye. He held her gaze for a moment, gave her a sad smile, and then turned away.

After her lesson there was no sign of the Dunedain anywhere. Even when one or two finally surfaced in the Seventh Circle, she did not see Arvain or Halladan for quite some time. When she did, they were both looking a little haggard and drawn. She wondered if it bothered them that there had been no time to ride to Hirvell’s grave, or if they would have even wanted to do such a thing. She suspected Halladan probably would not.

Then, late in the afternoon, just as the previous day, word spread that the eored was in sight of the city. Again a greeting party was made ready and headed off down towards the city gate, while Penny, Eleniel, Meresel, Lindir and several others stood by the embrasure on the spit of rock facing East and watched their approach. The sun flashed off helm and spear point, the shields gleamed and the banners of a white horse on a green field were held high. Eomer rode in front of his one hundred and fifty men, tall and proud. Behind them came a wain, no doubt to carry Theoden’s body, and those in charge of the supplies.

As Penny watched, she wondered what it would be like for Halladan to be surrounded by those he had fought with once more. It would be easier, perhaps, to be finally leaving the places where the battle had raged, but any easing of his stress might only be cancelled out by the familiar faces, the amount of battle tales that would no doubt be told round the campfires, by the memories, the scars, those suffering just like him.

She sighed heavily.

It seemed she might not be the only one with a rough few days ahead of her.

Author's Note:

Thanks, as ever to all those reading this, let alone those who take time out to leave a review or comment. The last chapter generated a lot of interest, feedback and discussion - all of which was fascinating and much appreciated.

Please note, the reference to Beregond and his saying farewell to Pippin in this chapter is now cut. It makes more sense that he would travel with Faramir to Rohan. With thanks to Lindelea. :)