Chapter 11 – Stupid Is As Stupid Does

There was no formal welcoming or speech from Galadriel or Celeborn, no standing on ceremony once the initial warm greeting of family was over. Instead they slowly moved through the throng, welcoming groups or individuals, many of whom were old friends.

As she watched them slowly head her way, Penny felt her stomach sink at the thought that she would herself meet them face-to-face in all but a few minutes. Her mind was racing. She had had months of gradually getting used to her new life. In all that time, she had not had to think about her situation, or rather she had been able to forget about it a little once the war had finished and her mind was not so focused on it all. That moment in Cerin Amroth had been the first such moment in a long while, and the prospect of going through it all again, of having everything raked over once more, filled her with trepidation.

She could do without the emotional upheaval, frankly, if the truth be told.

Added to which, Galadriel in the books had seemed so…. ethereal, so other-worldly, so powerful that it scared Penny a little to be in the presence of her even at this distance, let alone know she was possibly going to get a grilling from her, if not now then soon.

It did occur to her that the fact she had faced Gandalf without similar qualms showed a complete lack of logic on her part. 'Though Gandalf was far more personable in the books,' she reminded herself. Also, back then, she had had little time to really think about who she was about to meet the first time she had been presented with Elrond, Gandalf, Aragorn and the rest. There had been more immediate concerns (such as whether she was completely losing her marbles, just for a start). The entire situation had been traumatic, and meeting them, while upsetting, had been nerve-wracking for very different reasons than those that were giving her the heebie-jeebies right now.

Basically, now she had the time to really consider the enormity of such a meeting, it scared the pants off her.

Thus it was that, acting purely on instinct and all the while knowing it to be an utterly ridiculous thing to do, Penny picked up her saddle bags and, as surreptitiously as she dared, sidled round the clearing as slowly as Galadriel and Celeborn seemed to make their way in her direction. Part of her brain was asking her what the hell she was playing at, but her legs seemed to have a life of their own: taking her away even as her brain was screaming at her to stay still.

'Later, perhaps… Much later. Yeah, meeting them tomorrow would be good. Or the day after, even.'

Needless to say, her performance did not go unnoticed. Glorfindel and Erestor glanced in her direction more than once, eyebrows raised and looking less than impressed. Erestor had even caught hold of Elrond's arm at one point and muttered to him, gesturing towards Penny as he did so.

Suddenly, a hand gripped her firmly by the elbow.

"What in Arda do you think you are doing?" a voice hissed in her ear. "Stay still and meet your hosts. We may not have too many conventions and customs, but manners cost nothing."

Penny could not work out if Lindir was merely irritated or genuinely angry, but neither seemed a pleasant prospect.

"Scuttling round the clearing like that…! Do you think we can not see you?"

Penny did not have an answer and just stood there, saddlebags in hand, feeling very shamefaced. And looking it.

"Oh, I am sure they do not want to meet me," she murmured, trying to find some excuse for her behaviour now it had been noticed.

After his conversation with Elrond and Erestor, Lindir knew perfectly well that Penny knew that was not the case.

"Nonsense. You are a guest, and the only mortal here," he smiled thinly. He could not say much more given Rhimlath was standing right beside him.

"Oh, do not be too hard on her, Lindir. I admit I thought she might be a little more enthusiastic, given the clear interest she has shown in our realm thus far, but it is perhaps no surprise, given how fearful and in awe the Secondborn usually are in our presence."

Penny scowled, but knew better than to say anything. Lindir would have had her head on a plate if she had so much as breathed a word in response to Rhimlath right now. Especially given the kind of response it probably would have been.

"Galadriel is a very famous elleth of great power and honour. I felt scared to meet her so soon. It was too much."

Which was true. Pathetic, perhaps, but true.

Rhimlath smiled in a way that made it clear that he completely understood and felt his point had been made. He also had a faintly pitying air as if it was such a shame (if entirely understandable) that the young thing before him should behave like a skittish doe when faced with an elf of power.

However, Lindir just raised a sceptical eyebrow at her.

"You knew we were coming here the day we left Imladris. You have had over two weeks to prepare yourself. If not longer."

"I did not expect to meet them the moment I set foot here, though! I am still trying to get used to being in Caras Galadhon. Caras Galadhon, Lindir! I… I am IN Caras Galadhon!"

There was tone of genuine astonishment and excitement as she said this that made Rhimlath swell with pride at the same time as it made Lindir look at her closely.

"Well, judging from the expression on Lord Elrond's face, he is far from impressed that you have so obviously tried to avoid meeting the Lord and Lady of Lothlorien."

Penny blinked.

Oh. Crap.

Lindir watched her face fall.

"Exactly. I suggest you stop behaving so ridiculously and let them greet you."

Rhimlath leaned forward to pat Penny on the arm as if to say 'Don't worry, little mortal, I understand how scary we can be.' If she had not been so preoccupied with the fact that Galadriel and Celeborn were now only feet away from her, she might have seriously considered thumping him. Rhimlath then left them to it and joined those busily setting up awnings and tents for the visitors.

Celeborn and Galadriel finished talking to the group next to them and turned towards them. Penny's heart was in her mouth and her stomach in knots. She had no option but face the inevitable, if nothing else because Lindir was practically standing on top of her, effectively preventing her from going anywhere even if she tried to.

In a haze of nerves and panic her only thought was that, however cursory this first meeting might be, Penny did not want to have anything 'read' from her by Galadriel. No silent questioning, no weird mind-reading – nothing that would give something away that Penny would prefer remained unsaid or set her off into some emotional frenzy. Now was not the time.

'Concentrate, woman. Concentrate on something… anything!'

She let the first tune that popped into her head fill her brain. Unfortunately, in her concentrated effort to blank out anything else, she also started muttering under her breath.

"…Scaramouche, scaramouche, will you do the fandango, thunderbolts and lightning…"

Lindir dug her in the ribs. Hard.

There was a faint peal of laughter from Galadriel.

"Now, now, Lindir, Lady Pen-ii has her reasons, I am sure."

Penny felt her face flush a bright scarlet.

'Why you so frightened of me, child? Am I really remembered so ill from wherever you hail?'

The gentle, female voice in her head, so unexpected and unbidden, was as soft as a breeze, kindly and warm. A little curious and a little sad, perhaps, as it asked its rhetorical question, but not unkind. Far from it.

Penny just stood there, blinking at Galadriel like a rabbit caught in headlights.

"Lindir! It has been too long!" Celeborn smiled, as if he had not noticed anything happen at all. "It is good to see you once more."

Lindir inclined his head slightly, his face now split with a broad smile.

"Indeed," Galadriel added. "I trust you will regale us with some music and song while we are in your company? We have need of some with your talent here in Lothlorien."

"You flatter me too much, my lady."

"Nonsense," Galadriel smiled.

"And Lady Pen-ii," Celeborn turned to her, his grey eyes bright with the wisdom of long years. "It is a pleasure to meet you at last."

Lindir was having a hard time keeping his face expressionless. 'At last?'

"You are most welcome, Pen-ii." Galadriel smiled.

"And I am honoured to meet you both. Truly." Only now did Penny think to bow a little. She could barely look Galadriel in the eye, and not just because of her embarrassment. "It is an honour simply to be here in Lothlorien. I have heard so much…"

"You must treat this place as if it were your own." Celeborn smiled.

"Help yourselves to anything you need," Galadriel murmured as she turned to leave.

And that was it.

Weird mind-talk aside, it had been rather banal, very amiable and not at all scary, which meant Penny was left feeling both foolish and ashamed. Lindir had a stern, narrow-eyed 'See? What in Arda was all the fuss about?' expression on his face as he suggested Penny should follow him and help set up camp.

Penny trailed after him a little sulkily, mentally kicking herself for having behaved like such an idiot. 'What a fantastic first impression all of THAT must have made on the Lord and Lady of Lothorien,' she told herself sourly. They would no doubt report it to Elrond, who would also have it relayed to him by Lindir, and given he was already annoyed with her, apparently…

Penny groaned.

'Great. Just great. Way to go, Penny. Superb. Really, bloody superb.'

"The poor child was frightened," Galadriel murmured as she and Celeborn meandered over to the last few elves they had not welcomed.

"Indeed. To the point that she tried to avoid meeting us. It is only thanks to Lindir that she stayed still long enough for us to welcome her at all."

"I thought it best that we not tarry and engage her in conversation just yet."

"Yes, I did notice you were tugging on my sleeve, my love," Celeborn smiled. "However, I sensed we managed to put her at her ease somewhat."

"I wonder at her initial reaction to us."

"I wonder at it a little also." Celeborn paused, considering for a moment. "Then again… perhaps not."

Celeborn's face was enigmatic as he spoke, and none save Galadriel might have been able to guess at what he was thinking if they had been a party to the conversation.

With half of Lothlorien (or so it seemed) helping out, the camp was very soon readied. Cots and cushions had appeared as if from nowhere so that the visitors' sojourn would be a little bit more comfortable than up till now on their travels. As it turned out many would not be staying there but with old friends or relations in talans or lodgings elsewhere. There was now no sign of Celeborn or Galadriel. Elrond, Arwen, Erestor and Glorfindel were among those who would be staying in other accommodation and had also disappeared.

Penny suddenly felt very much the odd-one-out. Even for those for whom this was their first trip to Lothlorien, such as Mireth, there was not the same sense of alienation and utter strangeness as there was for Penny. Rather there was the sharing of kin and bloodlines, of shared culture and history. For many they had family and friends here. Penny had seen Naurdir greeting an ellon she assumed was his father-in-law and both kissing and wandering off with an elleth she had had pointed out to her as his wife. Nor was he the only one.

She felt her presence there was more of a hindrance, perhaps, or at the very least an oddity that it would have been easier to do without. Mireth had said they would explore together, but Penny felt she would probably do better by herself or without Penny around to encumber her at least. Certainly, as pleasant enough as the greetings had been from the locals, they, like the Galadhrim she had already met, seemed a little surprised a mortal was amongst those from Imladris, but the moment she was explained away paid her no more interest whatsoever.

There would be a little while before food was ready, though already things were being prepared in a nearby clearing to the one they were to camp in, so Penny was told. She took the opportunity, with Mireth and Eleniel, to fetch some water from a nearby rivulet and then wash and change into clean clothes.

That would be first job tomorrow: a proper bathe and washing the clothes they had travelled in.

Joy.

Penny sat outside the tent, combing her hair and staring up into the mad heights of the branches above her, lights moving and twinkling amongst them, and the air filled with song.

It was like sitting inside a dream.

Eleniel plaited Penny's hair and, once done, the three headed over to where food was being provided.

It was no feast by any means – that was planned for tomorrow night, apparently – but was still a good spread, especially compared to the simpler fare the travelling party had been used to for the last few days. There was plenty of fruit and fresh bread, cheeses and wine, baked fish and sweetmeats. There were bowls of what the elves would probably call 'salad'. It was something Penny had come to recognise in Imladris, and which consisted of (as far as she was concerned) a random assortment of leaves, weeds and flowers. It was an acquired taste.

Long, low tables filled the clearing. Mireth spotted Celebdor, Rhimlath and Lindir sitting together at one table and dragged the other two with her to join them. Penny was aware Lindir barely spoke to her throughout the meal. Clearly he was still somewhat peeved by her earlier performance. She could not really blame him, either. She was very quiet herself too, glancing up every now and then towards where she could just make out Galadriel and Celeborn sitting with their family and close friends and advisors. Galadriel happened to catch her eye as she laughed, smiling at something Glorfindel had said to her. Penny quickly looked back down at her plate, feeling very self-conscious.

"You seem quiet, Pen-ii." Celebdor smiled gently.

"Am I? You must forgive me. This place is…" She looked about her and upwards.

Words failed her.

Celebdor grinned. "It is, is it not?"

"Celebdor has promised to show us around a little tomorrow," Mireth was beaming. "I am so looking forward to it."

Penny nodded and smiled. It would be something, it was true.

"Ah, but Celebdor, while he is no stranger to Lothlorien, could not show you everything there is to see here. You have expressed so much interest in the place, Lady Pen-ii, I was hoping perhaps… Indeed Lindir suggested that perhaps you might…"

Rhimlath trailed off. Penny glanced at Lindir. He had suggested she might like to have Rhimlath bore her senseless for the day, had he? Ah. Right. Like that, was it?

Lindir looked straight back at Penny, his face perfectly straight. There was a faint tightening of the skin round the eyes, though, and the flicker of a curve at the edges of his mouth that showed he was highly amused.

Penny was not.

But Penny had little choice.

"But of course, Rhimlath. I thank you. That would be most interesting."

Lindir's face broke into a broad grin. Penny glared at him. Which just made Lindir grin all the wider, and even snicker quietly.

"Of course, if Lindir wants to join us-"

"No, no, I do not think that-"

"But of course!" beamed Penny. "That would be wonderful! Oh, you must join us, Lindir. I would be very interested to know your thoughts on everything Rhimlath will tell us." She smiled her sweetest smile.

Now it was Lindir's turn to narrow his eyes in annoyance.

"Good. Well that is settled then." Rhimlath, oblivious, nodded with satisfaction. "I do not want to tread on your toes, though, Celebdor. Please, you and Mireth are welcome to join us…"

They hurriedly excused themselves. As a couple, they had a very good excuse to want to see things together and alone. Eleniel was suddenly very busily engaged in discussion with the elleth next to her and seemingly oblivious to the entire proceedings.

As Rhimlath wandered off to "prepare himself for tomorrow and make a mental list of all the 'must-see' places of note," Lindir looked back at Penny, shaking his head slightly but unable to keep back a smile.

"Well played, Pen-ii."

"Serves you right, Lindir."

"Indeed it does," smirked Celebdor. "Pen-ii turned the tables back on you very nicely just then."

"It is all very well for you to laugh!" Lindir retorted. "I notice you and Mireth wriggled out of coming with us."

"But we are betrothed, Lindir." Mireth smirked. "We have every right to wander beneath the beauty of the mellyrn undisturbed by Rhimlath's incessant prattling." She laughed that long, tinkling giggle of hers that Celebdor loved so well.

"And I do not see why I should have to face it alone," Penny added.

Well, it had broken the ice between them a little, she was pleased to note. She was not sure she wanted Lindir upset with her for the rest of the evening.

The meal finished, Penny glanced up to see Galadriel and Celeborn had left. Erestor was standing, deep in conversation with Elrond. Glorfindel had wandered over to where some elves were playing quietly on flutes and lyres.

'Asking a request from the DJ, Glorfindel?' Penny smirked to herself.

She wondered if she should go and say something to Elrond, try and explain her actions from earlier. Galadriel and Celeborn had not said anything, though, or given any indication they were offended or upset. Then again, they were probably just being polite.

"Lady Pen-ii?"

Penny turned. It was Erestor.

"Would you mind following me, please?"

Penny blinked. What was this about? She nodded and stepped towards him.

"Actually, Lindir, are you busy? Galadriel has asked that you be present, since she knows you are a good friend of Pen-ii's."

Penny paled. This was not good on all sorts of levels. Meeting Galadriel, the grilling, let alone Lindir being there…

"But Erestor…"

Erestor silenced her with a look. Penny glanced at Lindir nervously and Lindir, seeing her look, raised an eyebrow.

"Trust Galadriel's insight, Pen-ii," he murmured to her as they wandered along together, following Erestor under the trees. "Celeborn is wise beyond measure and if the two feel I should be there…"

"Indeed," Erestor added, turning his head slightly to Penny. "They are well aware Lindir does not know your story."

"Want to tell me now before we get there?" Lindir smiled, but he was only half-joking.

Penny hesitated. "No, I want to do it in my own time… In my own way… Not like this. Not be pushed into it. This is too much. I can not do this, Erestor. Please."

Erestor stopped and turned to face her fully. "Pen-ii, this behaviour has to stop."

"What behaviour?"

"Your trying to avoid them earlier was noticed, you know. I was less than impressed-"

"That is not fair, Erestor. That is not fair and you know it."

"Do I?"

"He has a point, Pen-ii. I know for a fact that Elrond-"

"Yes, Lord Elrond is even less impressed than I was, Pen-ii."

"Now, hold hard just one moment! Has it not occurred to you what this is like for me, Erestor? This is not unlike when I first came to Imladris…"

Lindir suddenly went very still and quiet. Penny was busy ranting at Erestor, having momentarily forgotten his presence.

"This is Galadriel, Erestor. Galadriel! I'm terrified, and pleased, and in awe and… I mean… Her history is… She guided Maura through so much. It was her lamp that saved him from Shelob-"

Erestor coughed quietly and glanced at Lindir.

"What? Oh. Yes." Penny fell silent.

Lindir glanced between the two. "My patience is wearing thin, you know." Again that smile, though it was clear he meant it.

Penny looked at him. She had an urge to take his hand, but was not sure if she should. As if sensing that in her, he held one hand out to her, and she took it gratefully.

"I promised you I would tell you, and I will, Lindir. Soon. I just… We have only just arrived here and I have barely caught my breath. Meeting Galadriel and Celeborn… Ai, it is hard to explain. It is such a huge moment for me. You will understand."

"And meeting Elrond was not a big moment? Or Mithrandir? Or Aragorn?"

Lindir felt he was going to burst with curiosity. The more Erestor spoke, the more confused he became. Penny had heard of them all before she had arrived? How was this possible given she was clearly from somewhere so far away?

"It was… but there were more pressing concerns at that time."

Erestor nodded. "I understand. That still does not excuse your behaviour-"

"Of course it does not. I regret it. It was foolish and stupid and I was telling myself exactly that even while I was doing it-"

"You must not let Erestor scold you, Pen-ii."

How long Arwen had been standing there, Penny had no idea. She was only a little distance away from them, a smile on her lips.

"I understood immediately, as did my grandparents. More than you might realise, I suspect. They have said as much to Father. You must not fear his anger. He has accepted that your reaction was, perhaps, to be expected." She turned, beckoning. "Come. They are waiting."

Lindir and Erestor hung back while Penny, feeling increasingly nervous, followed Arwen in to the shadows.

'Maura,' do not forget, is Frodo's real name in his native Westron. "Frodo" was only ever a 'translation' into English. (This was all explained, both in footnotes and in replies to reviews, in Don't Panic – see the Appendices and HoME for more details).

I hope I don't have to explain where 'Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the fandango' comes from, even to those under a certain age who may not remember it first hand. However, just in case: 'Bohemian Rhapsody' by Queen, and recently voted the best song ever.