Thanks to Viv for the beta and Aearwen for the advice!

~*~

When Airemír saw Haldir talking to the elleth, she turned to her sister and frowned. She had seen the adoring look on Lainhen’s face and wondered how long it would be before Lainhen would admit the truth.

“I think you should travel to Gondor, and then return to Imladris with us.” Looking at Haldir pointedly, Airemír continued. “There is nothing for you here and your family is in Imladris.”

Lainhen smiled sadly. “I know you think I am a fool for lingering here for Haldir, but, sister, I love him.”

“What good is a love that is not returned?”

“Some day…perhaps he will love me as well.” Lainhen’s eyes glistened with tears.

Airemír took her sister’s hands in her own. “Forgive me, sister, but I think if he were going to love you, it would have happened already. You two have been friends for many years, and at one time he was courting you. But now, he has moved on, and I think you must as well.”

The stab of guilt hit Airemír hard. She should have insisted that Lainhen stay in Imladris after her wedding. Had she known that Haldir did not return her love, Airemír would have tried harder to sway her sister to remain with her.

“That is what Legolas said, but he...” Lainhen stopped and looked away from her sister, wiping her eyes.

“He what? Has Legolas been cruel to you?” Airemír sat up in concern, studying Lainhen’s face. She had not thought the greenwood elf was the type to be cruel, but he also did not seem to be very friendly. According to Laurëanna, this was not his normal demeanor.

“No. Nothing like that. He … well, he has feelings for me. And I hurt him when I rejected him. He said I was a fool for loving someone who did not see how unique and special I was.”

Airemír hugged her sister. “You are not a fool, but he is right that you should not waste your time loving someone who does not appreciate you. Do you have feelings for Legolas?”

“I do not know.” Lainhen shrugged. “He is very sweet and I enjoy spending time with him, but he is just not … I cannot explain it. Perhaps he is too nice.”

Unable to help herself, Airemír laughed. “Dearest sister, there is no such thing as too nice. I think that your feelings for Haldir are stronger because you feel like he is unattainable. Legolas’s interest in you makes him less of a challenge, but this is not about a hunt for prey. Love is not about seeking the greatest challenge. If Haldir returned your feelings, I think you would lose interest in him as well. We have known him a long time and I do not see a great future for you with him.”

“But did you not feel a sense of excitement when you fell in love with Elladan?”

Airemír thought for a moment. “I felt like my fea was on fire, exploding deep inside me and filling me with warmth, every time he looked at me. Yes, it was exciting to fall in love with him. But once he fell in love with me, it was something more, something deeper and lasting. I still feel a flutter in my stomach when he looks at me but there is also the comfort and security of knowing that he is my husband and that he loves me. To me is more exciting than chasing after someone I could never have.”

Lainhen was watching Haldir again and Airemír grew frustrated with her. Lainhen was behaving like a child that had her favorite toy taken away from her. Finally, her sister looked at Airemír and smiled, even as the tears ran down her face.

“I want that feeling, what you have with Elladan. I am jealous of the way he looks at you, the way he holds your hand or turns all his attention to you when you walk in the room. I know that it is time to let go of Haldir, so I will go with you to Gondor and Imladris. I do not know that I will ever feel for Legolas what he feels for me, but perhaps I can start fresh somewhere new. I suppose I know deep down it is not love for Haldir … not true love that lasts, which means there is someone else in the world for me.”

“Do not be in such a rush, little sister. When it is time, it will happen and you will be glad you waited.” Airemír hugged her sister again. She was glad Lainhen was going to leave with them. Her sister’s happiness meant a great deal to her, and she could reassure herself with Lainhen there with her.

~*~

Laurëanna followed Legolas along the path and gave up any attempt to talk to him. He seemed more intent on where they were going than what she was saying anyway. He had barely said two words in between the caves and here. She hoped she would get to the bottom of his mysterious brooding the last few weeks, but started to doubt she would find out anything other than how fast he could walk when in a hurry.

“Legolas, please slow down. You said you wanted to take a walk, not a brisk march through the forest.” Laurëanna struggled to catch her breath as she tried to keep up with him.

“I assumed you would be as eager as I was to visit here.” Legolas stopped and waited for her to catch up.

As she looked around at the serene lake they had just come upon, she rested a bit before walking toward the edge. “It is beautiful here.”

“Just beautiful?” Legolas seemed to be studying her for a reaction, and she felt a prickling sensation on the back of her neck. “You do not remember, do you?”

Searching her memory hard, she felt the same vague sickness she had felt often since arriving in Eryn Lasgalen. Every time King Thranduil glanced in her direction, she felt it. Whenever Legolas dragged her all over the place introducing her to people she should recall, the feeling gnawed at her stomach. She saw the anger in Legolas’s face and tears burned her eyes.

“No … I do not think so …” she whispered. As he came closer to her, his anger grew, and she took a step back. “What is it Legolas? Did I do something to offend you?”

“I want to know who you are. Who you really are.” Legolas grabbed her arm so she could not move away.

Shocked and feeling on the verge of panic, Laurëanna glanced away from him, trying to find something, anything, she remembered about the lake. Before she knew it, Legolas pulled her with him to a spot where two rather large stones lay beside the lake. He let her go and she rubbed her arm where he had grasped her a little too tightly.

“Still no memories?” he asked, glaring at her.

The tears began to fall as she stared down at the two stones and shook her head. She could tell there was writing on them, but before she could kneel down to wipe off the dead leaves, he stopped her.

“If you have to see the inscription to know whose graves they are, then you have more than dead leaves to worry about.” His voice was cold and hard, nothing like the Legolas she remembered guiding her through the Paths of the Dead, holding her hand and reassuring her as she grew afraid.

“I do not understand why you are so angry,” Laurëanna sobbed as she tried to walk away from him, but he held her firm. Finally he used his foot to move the dead leaves from the stones, and she saw the names.

Her parents.

Feeling as if all the air in her lungs was being forced out, her chest tightened and she tried desperately to pry his fingers from her arm. Her mind raced and she felt light-headed from the panic. Legolas grabbed both her arms, forcing her to face him as he spoke.

“Calm down, Laurëanna. I did not mean to frighten you.” His voice sounded like he was leagues away. She began to hyperventilate, her breath coming rapidly and the dizziness increasing as the pounding of her heart echoed loudly in her ears. Legolas moved his hands to the sides of her face.

“Breathe deeply. Stop fighting me … just calm down.” His voice soothed her somewhat, but she could not seem to control herself as she began to sink to the ground. Legolas caught her and eased her down gently.

“Laurëanna, please calm down. I am sorry…”

Vaguely she heard the flurry of footsteps beside her, then her husband’s voice.

“What is wrong with her? What did you do?” Elrohir yelled as he pushed Legolas away from her. “Laurëanna, look at me.”

The darkness began to overwhelm her and she went limp in his arms.

~*~

Thranduil glanced up sharply when he saw Elrohir carrying Laurëanna into the caves with Legolas following close behind. He could hear the men arguing as he walked towards them.

“You must have done something to her!” Elrohir seethed. “If you have hurt her in any way…”

“I did not hurt her. She was frightened and then she started to panic. If you would just stop and let me explain,” Legolas kept attempting to say.

“Stop. Both of you,” Thranduil said, holding up his hand. At first he though the son of Elrond was going to ignore his command, but at the last moment Elrohir stopped, holding Laurëanna tighter. Thranduil saw Indil rushing over and he attempted to assess what was wrong. Laurëanna was as pale and cold as snow, but she was breathing normally. People were beginning to stare at the commotion.

“Legolas, take them to my library,” he demanded and caught Indil before she reached them. “She will be fine. Come with us.”

When they reached his library, Thranduil ordered Himdor to not allow any disturbances. Elrohir had laid Laurëanna on a settee while Legolas watched her guiltily.

“What happened?” Indil asked, rushing to Laurëanna’s side.

“I have been trying to find that out, but it seems some people are unwilling to tell me.” Elrohir glared at Legolas as he accepted the glass of Miruvor from Thranduil.

After he managed to get a few drops in Laurëanna’s mouth, her eyes blinked open before she sobbed and began breathing in huge gulps of air. Elrohir pulled her into his arms, attempting to soothe her as the others watched, concerned.

“Tell me what happened. Now.” Elrohir glared at Legolas impatiently.

Legolas looked down for a moment before he finally raised his head to glance toward his father. “I took her to the lake, to her parents’ graves. But she did not remember anything. She remembered nothing about where we were or why that lake, at one time, was so important to her that her parents to be buried there. Or how she used to walk there each morning and put flowers on their graves. Nothing … she remembered none of it.”

Thranduil was silent as he studied Elrohir. Laurëanna’s face was buried in her husband’s chest, but Thranduil could tell she was still sobbing.

“Obviously she remembered something or she would not be this upset!” Elrohir retorted.

“No, I did not.” Laurëanna looked up at her husband, shaking her head. “I did not remember their graves, the lake, nothing!” Elrohir’s confusion was apparent on his face.

“Elrohir, have you not wondered why no one in Eryn Lasgalen remembers her? She lived here more than eighty years and no one remembers her at all. Even my father says he had not met her before a few weeks ago,” Legolas replied, sitting down in a chair across from them. “I did not mean to upset her. I thought she was telling us lies, but now … I do not know.”

“She is not lying. She does not know who she really is.” Indil’s voice was barely a whisper.

The room was silent as they all stared at her, waiting for an explanation. Before she could say anything, though, there was a knock on the door. Thranduil opened the door, snapping, “Himdor, I asked that I not be disturbed.”

“Forgive me, my lord. He is rather insistent and said it was urgent that he speak to you. Considering who it was, I thought it best to interrupt you…” Himdor stammered as he stepped to the side to show the king his guest.

Thranduil studied the old man for a minute before moving out of the doorway.

“Usually I am offered a cordial when I arrive, not such wariness.” The man entered the room and smiled warmly at the others. “Forgive me for intruding but I come on a matter most important. And I think all of you will understand before this day is done. Good afternoon, Elrohir. This must be your wife, Laurëanna.”

Elrohir studied the man and nodded slowly. “Radagast, it has been a long time.”

“And you are wondering why I am here now, no doubt. But first may I ask for a drink? I have traveled far, and these old bones are weary.”

Thranduil walked to the table and poured glasses of wine for everyone. At this point, he felt sure that everyone else needed one as badly as he did. He gestured to a chair and the wizard settled in before taking a sip of wine. Radagast lifted a heavy looking bag to his lap as he leaned back. “Ah. That is much better. Nothing is sweeter than your wine to a thirsty traveler, Thranduil.”

“My pleasure,” Thranduil answered as he poured himself another glass. Glancing around the room, he saw that everyone was waiting for Radagast to speak, including himself. The wizard, on the other hand, seemed content to wait until he was asked.

“Should we excuse ourselves?” Legolas asked the wizard.

“If you were to do that, then you would not find the answers you seek, I imagine, young Legolas.”

Indil sat beside Elrohir and studied her hands while the room grew silent again. Finally, Radagast delved into his bag. Withdrawing a round cloth-wrapped item, he placed it on the table in front of them.

“I had the most interesting visitor. It was one of the great Eagles, but not one of mine. This Eagle was grander than any I had seen since my days in Valinor. He reminded me much of Thorondor, although younger. Gwaihir said Thorondor was his elder but would say no more. His feathers were such a glistening shade of silver that they appeared to be made of Mithril when he flew in the sun…”

Radagast’s gaze drifted off for a while before Thranduil cleared his throat. He was used to how easily the wizard was distracted by his own thoughts. Radagast spent too much time alone with his birds and often forgot to speak his thoughts aloud, assuming everyone could read his mind. The wizard blinked twice, looking at Thranduil. “Forgive me, where was I? Oh yes, the eagle was a messenger of Manwë, and he brought me this, with specific instructions to bring it to King Thranduil. He said you would know what you needed to do with it.”

Thranduil studied the package warily, feeling certain he already knew what it was. When he felt everyone watching him, he sat forward and pulled the fabric off the palantir. The room fell silent again as everyone stared at the golden orb.

“It is Elendil's Stone, from Elostirion, is it not?” Indil whispered, recognizing the stone instantly from her historical knowledge. Even though she had never seen it personally, she knew that only Elendil’s Stone was this unique golden color. It also had the ability to see the Blessed Realm.

“Correct!” Radagast smiled quite happily before holding his glass out for more wine. Distractedly, Thranduil poured him another glass, unable to tear his eyes away from the stone.

“But it was taken to Aman on the ship with my father and Gandalf.” Elrohir sat up, and Laurëanna looked at the palantir nervously.

“Yes. It has been sent back,” Radagast explained. Nodding to Laurëanna, he added, “For you, I should think.”

“Me? But why?” Laurëanna’s face paled again. “I do not want it.”

“Sometimes we must do things we do not wish to do,” Radagast replied. “Am I wrong in assuming that this was meant for Laurëanna? Are you not all wondering who she is?”

Thranduil’s gaze drifted back and forth between Laurëanna and the wizard. He felt the tension in the room building, and the panicked look on the young elleth’s face warned him how overwhelmed she was.

“Perhaps she is not ready to know, and we should not force her,” Indil said quickly, looking intently at Thranduil. He realized she knew something very vital to the conversation.

Torn between wanting the mystery solved and doing what was best for Laurëanna, Thranduil was quiet as he watched her. All eyes on her, she shrank back into the cushions. She stared intently at the palantir, as if waiting for it to move on its own.

Finally, Elrohir leaned forward and picked up the palantir, careful to not touch anything that was not still wrapped in the cloth. He held it on his lap and gently put his arm around his wife, pulling her forward.

“I will help you, if you are ready.” Elrohir moved his hand to caress her face gently, wiping away the tears streaming down. “We will wait until you are.”

Laurëanna looked at the wizard again, and he nodded encouragingly. “But … I thought that only certain people could withstand the power of a palantir.”

“Manwë would not have sent it for you, unless you were meant to use it. But I do not think you can do it alone. You are meant to be aided by your husband and your mother,” Radagast answered, nodding to Indil.

“My mother? What are you talking about? My mother is dead…”

Indil took Laurëanna’s hand in her own. “I did not know how to explain it to you, so I never told you.” Mother and daughter locked eyes; one pair filled with confusion, while the other with sadness.

Thranduil dragged a hand through his hair. He was growing impatient with all the unanswered questions running through his brain. When Indil did not elaborate further, the tension in the room increased to an almost unbearable level. Finally, he spoke to Laurëanna. “If Manwë sent the stone for you to look into it, then you must. He sent it here to my realm, so I feel certain he expects me to encourage you to do so. Your questions will be answered then. Correct?”

Elrohir took Laurëanna’s other hand as he placed the palantir in her lap. “Just place your hands on it. If it is too much for us to bear, King Thranduil and Legolas will stop us.” As he spoke, Legolas rose and walked to stand on Elrohir’s side while Thranduil moved closer to Indil.

Radagast smiled gently again and said, “Your wife is stronger than you realize, stronger than even she realizes.”

Laurëanna took a deep breath, and, looking down at the orb, she placed her fingers gently on it. Instantly, she was thrown into another world and lost all track of time and space.

~*~

She was falling, and she closed her eyes. Suddenly she was still. She still felt the warmth of Elrohir and Indil’s hands over hers. Cautiously she squinted her eyes open, blinded by golden light reflecting off the ocean.

Elrohir squeezed her hand tightly, and Laurëanna glanced in his direction. Before him stood what appeared to be three of the gods.

One of them began speaking and she was not sure if she was dreaming or awake; his voice was so fluid it seemed as if it drifted into her mind, rather than the words being spoken aloud. “Laurëanna, Indil, and Elrohir, forgive us for the manner with which we were forced to communicate with you. I am Manwë.”

“Is this Valinor?” Elrohir asked looking around in amazement.

“Yes. We do not have much time …” The woman was speaking now and Laurëanna knew she must be Varda.

“Forgive me, but is Glorfindel with you?” Indil interrupted in a rush.

Manwë shook his head. “No, he has not left the Halls of Mandos yet. We are partly to blame for that, I am afraid.”

“Because he remembered his daughter before he died? Is he being punished?” Indil rose to her feet. “If that is the case …”

“No, he is not being punished,” the third Vala spoke. “Rather, he is unable to forgive us at this time and will not leave my halls until we have made things right with his daughter.”

Laurëanna watched Indil and grew more confused. “What daughter? I thought we were here to have questions answered, but so far I only have more questions.”

Manwë walked before her. “Laurëanna, you are Glorfindel and Indil’s daughter. You were born in the Fourth Age in the Year 26.”

“But…how is that possible?” Elrohir’s eyes grew wide with shock.

Varda stepped forward and placed her hand on Elrohir and Laurëanna’s clasped hands. “We thought it would be best if Laurëanna forgot her past, but we see now that too many things changed to simply take her memories from her. We are willing to give them back to you all but … we must warn you how difficult it will be for her to relive her past and for you and Indil to reconcile your pasts as well.”

Elrohir nodded slowly then turned to Laurëanna. “If this is not what you want …”

“No, I must know. I do not care how painful it is for me. That is, if you and Indil are willing as well.”

“I saw some of the past before Glorfindel died, but it did not make sense. And if he refuses to be re-housed until Laurëanna knows the truth, then I will re-live the pain ten times over,” Indil insisted, once again taking her daughter’s hand in her own.

“I agree. I would rather face the truth than continue to live with these lies.” Elrohir squeezed Laurëanna’s hand tightly. “Now tell me what you have done to my wife.”

“I wish it were as simple as telling you, Elrohir. But I am afraid there is too much to explain. You must see it with your own eyes.” Mandos and Manwë grasped their joined hands along with Varda.

At first Laurëanna thought she had been thrown back to Thranduil’s study because a blast of hot air hit her in the face. Suddenly, there visions were flying at her, one after another, each more horrible than the previous one; events in Middle-earth that she only had nightmares of happening. She heard screaming, and before she knew whether it was her, the visions changed. Once again she was in Valinor, but it was different. Tears filled her eyes as she saw Glorfindel … no, her father … again. She reached out to touch him and the visions changed. Over and over again, the visions alternated between joyous occasions and horror.

At last it was over and the three Valar released their hands. Elrohir jumped to his feet and walked to the railing as Indil wept. Laurëanna felt too overwhelmed to react at first.

Everyone was quiet for a long time. The waves beating against the beach was the only sound other than Indil’s weeping. Elrohir attempted to speak more than once, but seemed incapable of forming words. At last, he turned and looked at the Valar. “How is this possible? I have lived another life, we all have. We sacrificed that life to right this wrong, only to have you take Laurëanna’s memories from her. She was the only one who knew the truth, the only one that remembered that life, except, of course, the Valar.”

Before anyone could reply, he erupted in rage. “How dare you take her memories? How dare you steal her past from her? After all she sacrificed, you stole her parents and her life from her. You forced her to live a lie. You forced us all to live a lie.”

Varda nodded sadly before she answered. “We did what we thought was best for Laurëanna.”

“What was best for me? How is it best for me to lose everything that I was?” Laurëanna sobbed. “You took the memories of my parents from me and let my father die before I knew. He died because he knew!”

Mandos answered quietly. “Yes, he risked his life because he wanted to protect your son, his grandson. We did not know a paradox would still occur if we took your memories or we might not …”

“Might not?” Elrohir interrupted, his face incredulous. “You might not have taken her memories if you had known? You had no right to take them. And you forced my father to become part of this. You used my mother to convince him. Is nothing sacred?”

Looking at Indil, he shook his head. “Did you not think of what would happen to Indil once she knew? Did you even consider interfering before Glorfindel died rather than after? You can send her through time and allow her to fix the past. You can also steal memories from her, but you could not prevent her father from dying. I find that hard to believe,” Elrohir fumed. “And now what? What is she supposed to do now? How are we supposed to live with this?

“You all knew the risks and agreed to them in the Fourth Age, before we returned her to Helm’s Deep. I know you are angry, Elrohir, but you must understand. There is still a reason that it is best that others do not know,” Manwë attempted to put his hand on Elrohir’s shoulder only to have the elf step away from him.

“If you think I will continue to lie for you, you do not know me at all. I will do whatever it takes to protect my wife and those I love. And if that means that I have to tell the others, I will,” Elrohir stated coldly.

“Who would you tell? Your sister and Estel? Will you tell them what their fate would have been if we had not interfered? Or would you prefer to tell Legolas and your grandfather of their fate?” Mandos warned. “No, I think you will see why it is best that no one else knows the truth.”

Manwë turned to Laurëanna and said, “Forgive us for what we have done. We did what we thought was best for you and did not think the consequences would be so severe.”

“You have betrayed me. You violated my trust in you. I do not think I can ever forgive this,” Laurëanna replied before looking away from him. Reaching out she grabbed her husband’s hand. “Send us back to Middle-earth now. I want to see my children.”

Varda and Mandos turned to Manwë, awaiting his reply. “We will return you now.”

“Do not meddle in our lives again.” Elrohir glared at the Vala with contempt.

“How dare you speak to him …” Mandos began before Manwë held up his hand.

“It is fine. He has a right to be angry, but I will caution you, Elrohir. Think before you act. We will not interfere again, but you can do your own damage, if you let this bitterness and rage consume you.”

“Please … send us back,” Indil whispered.

Once again, Laurëanna felt like she was falling, and this time she embraced it.

~*~

When they returned to Thranduil’s study, they were all three on the floor and the palantir had rolled away from them. Indil jumped to her feet, and after Thranduil steadied her, she pushed past him and stumbled into the hallway. Confused, he looked at the other two.

“Legolas, please go after her. Do not intrude, but make sure she is safe.” Elrohir’s request was followed without a question as he and Laurëanna stood.

“Did you find the answers to the questions you had?” Radagast asked.

Elrohir stopped before the wizard. “I have a question for you. Did you know?”

“I only know that your wife performed a great sacrifice and is very brave.” Rising, the wizard went and touched Laurëanna gently on the face. “I see the light of Valinor in your eyes. I do not know all, but I am content if you feel it was worth your sacrifice.”

Laurëanna nodded. “In the end, it was. But I never expected to be betrayed and lied to by those I served.”

“Sometimes it is the only way to protect the innocent children of this world,” Radagast answered with a little shrug. “I think in time, you will see with your own children that you have to protect them, even if they do not understand your reasons.”

“Laurëanna, speaking of our children, I need to see them. Forgive us for not answering your questions now,” Elrohir nodded to Thranduil. “In time we will, but it is too soon.”

After they left the room, Thranduil watched Radagast bundle up the palantir in the cloth and return it to his bag again. The wizard then resumed his seat and continued to drink his wine.

Thranduil could not help but smile at the old man. “I assume you are staying for dinner.”

“I have been waiting for you to ask.”