Sorry for the long delay. My darn muse wandered off again. (actually I think the academic writing scared her off!)

Thanks to Viv for the beta!

~*~

Celeborn entered the library to find Indil sitting surrounded by books and parchments but staring into the distance instead of studying them. Glancing outside he saw that she watched her son, Laurëalco, who was playing on the grass near Laurëanna and her twins, Elion and Eliel. Indil’s boy was just beginning to walk and Laurëanna’s laughter filled the air as he continued to test his way around. Indil watched with a slight smile, but there was such sadness about her that it radiated from her fëa.

“Indil, are you well?” Celeborn asked gently.

Despite his soft voice, she jumped as he pulled her from her thoughts. “I am…I am well.”

Celeborn nodded but said nothing, studying her intently. Since Glorfindel’s death, she had changed from a spirited lighthearted woman to a pensive and quiet recluse. She was most often either alone with her son or spending time with Laurëanna, the only one she had not withdrawn from during her time of mourning. It seemed she spent most of her time in the library, pouring over books, as if desperately seeking something.

“What do you do when faced with the reality that the impossible has happened?” she asked distractedly.

Celeborn sat down across from her and waited until she turned forlorn eyes to his. “Indil, I have watched you diminish since Glorfindel’s death, and we are all concerned. You cannot allow this loss to shatter your fëa as it is doing. Your son needs you. Your friends need you as well. We all watch helplessly as you elude any attempts to draw you from your grief. What can we do to help you?”

Indil was quiet as her gaze returned to her son. Silence filled the room and Celeborn waited patiently for her response. Finally she whispered, “I do not know who I can talk to. Before Glorfindel died, something happened and…I do not understand it, nor do I know how to continue to live with this secret. I have poured through books and parchments for anything that might explain it, to no avail.”

“You can confide in me, if you feel it would help you. Anything you say would remain between us, if that is what you wish.”

The inner struggle was apparent in her eyes. Finally she looked at him for a long time before speaking. “You were entrusted with many things that Lady Galadriel saw, were you not?”

“Yes. She shared many things with me, unless it was best that she not. We had few secrets between us.”

“And Lord Elrond was both your son by marriage and your trusted friend. So if he knew something important about me and Glorfindel, would he not tell you as well?” Indil asked, a spark of hope in her voice.

“If he felt I needed to know, he would trust me to share it with me. However, he has never, nor has my wife ever, revealed any secrets about you or Glorfindel,” Celeborn answered.

“What of Laurëanna and her past? Have they ever said anything about her past to you, her past in Mirkwood or perhaps some place else?” Indil shifted in her seat to face him completely. “Please Lord Celeborn, I beg of you to tell me what you know.”

“I apologize greatly but I was never told anything other than the vision that she had about losing a child. What is it, Indil?”

The breath she had been holding expelled itself in a deep sigh as she ran her hands through her hair. Slamming the book she was holding closed, she tossed it into the pile on the table. “I have looked through every book in this library, through every parchment. Nothing I have read has helped me make sense of anything.” After a brief pause and a glance around the room as if to ensure they were alone, she leaned forward and said quietly, “Laurëanna is my daughter, my daughter with Glorfindel. And he knew this as well: right before he died, we both suddenly knew the truth.”

Celeborn sat stunned as he studied her. Surely this was not possible, but it was obvious that Indil believed it completely. “But how is that possible? How could this be?”

“I do not know. I have been searching for any proof that this has happened before. But I can find nothing. I do not remember everything and my memories seem to be fading over time, but I do know that she is our daughter and she was sent back through time by the Valar to right some wrong.”

“Has Laurëanna said anything to you?” Celeborn could not help but feel doubt creeping in. This seemed impossible. Perhaps her grief was causing this…whatever this was.

“Do not look at me as if I were suffering from some grief-stricken madness. I trusted you because you understand that sometimes Ilúvatar works in mysterious ways. Lady Galadriel and Lord Elrond both have told me in the past that they only have visions that Ilúvatar allows them to see. How would Glorfindel and I both have this knowledge, these memories, if we were not meant to? Laurëanna is my daughter, but she does not remember,” Indil explained, her eyes pleading for understanding.

Celeborn rose and looked out the window, studying Laurëanna. As he watched, he realized how like Glorfindel she looked, but there was a touch of her mother in her as well. Unlikely and impossible as it seemed, something in him knew Indil was telling the truth. Turning back to her, he smiled gently.

“I do not think you are mad, Indil, or if so, we both are, for I believe you. Tell me what you remember.”

As Indil spoke of her memories, including both the birth of her daughter and saying farewell to her, Celeborn grew more and more convinced of her tale.

“But why was she sent back through time? It must have been something unique and extreme for the Valar to do this.”

“That is what troubles me most, I think. I have been pouring over these books looking for anytime this could have been done before. I cannot remember anything before her birth, nor do I remember why she was taken from us. I remember her wedding to Elrohir, but other than that I do not remember much about those around us.” Indil’s voice took on a tone of frustration.

Celeborn was quiet, pondering how this could be possible. Of course the Valar were capable of doing this, but how could they have left Indil with part of those memories with no understanding of what they meant? Finally he asked, “What do you intend to do with this knowledge? Do you plan to tell Laurëanna?”

“No. I have thought long and hard about it and think if they meant her to realize it, she would. I will not disrupt her life with this knowledge,” Indil answered, tears glistening in her eyes. “Without Glorfindel here, I feel myself fading slowly away, and my ties to my daughter are all that keep me in Middle-earth. With all my heart, I wish to sail to Valinor with Laurëalco and be reunited with my beloved. The emptiness inside me grows each day. But I cannot bear the thought of leaving my daughter and her children behind.”

Sitting beside her, Celeborn took both of her hands in his. “Indil, if you feel this way then you must trust in me to protect your family here and to bring them home to you in the Undying Lands. I will not leave these lands without them.”

Indil nodded and whispered, “I do trust you. I will make plans to travel to Mithlond only when Laurëalco is old enough. He is too young for such a long journey now. We will remain here for a few years.”

“Until then, you must abandon your search for answers and enjoy the time with your family. You cannot live in the past or your life will slip away unnoticed.”

~*~

Laurëalco held his arms up to his mother when she joined Laurëanna in the garden. Indil smiled and picked him up, then sat on the grass with him in her lap and kissed his forehead.

“Are you having fun little one?” she asked and he laughed, bouncing up and down excitedly.

As he gurgled in his own language, Indil turned to Laurëanna. “Has he behaved?”

“Yes, of course. He is such a good baby. And he is really close to walking on his own,” Laurëanna replied, as Eliel ran up to her clutching a handful of flowers in her hands. Smiling brightly, Laurëanna asked, “Are those for me?”

“Yes and I picked them myself,” Eliel boasted. After giving her mother some of the flowers, she handed the rest to Indil. “Maybe this will stop you from being sad.”

Indil took the flowers, saying, “Why do you think I am sad, Eliel?”

“I saw you crying earlier.” Eliel shrugged and ran back to play with her brother.

Laurëanna watched Indil with concern. “You have been very withdrawn and sad. I did not want to say anything, but since Eliel has, maybe you would like to talk about it.”

“I am just missing your…Glorfindel. I did not know how much Laurëalco would make me miss him so much each moment. He is so like his father and I just feel this emptiness inside that grows each day.” Tears burned her eyes and shook her head. “It is stupid. Of course, he would remind me of his father. I am just missing Glorfindel more and more.”

“I am sorry, Indil. I wish there was something I could do. Perhaps you will reconsider going with us to Eryn Lasgalen and Minas Tirith. It will do you good to have a distraction.” Laurëanna reached out her hand and took Indil’s in her own, squeezing gently. “I would love for you to join us.”

“That is a long journey for a child as young as Laurëalco,” Indil pointed out.

“We will be traveling slowly. Remember, we traveled to Minas Tirith when the twins were not much older than Laurëalco is now, and surprisingly they did well. He can ride in a carrier with Elrohir or Elladan so he will probably sleep while we are riding. Plus we will make plenty of stops along the way to rest, allowing the children to walk around and play.”

“Let me think about it for a day or so and then I will decide. I would like to see Eryn Lasgalen. I have never been there before.” Indil lifted Laurëalco into her arms and stood up. “I better take this little one to his nap or I fear he will be very out of sorts this afternoon.”

Seeing Elamdir running over to them, Laurëanna nodded. “Yes, these two will be taking a nap after I see Airemír.” Standing up she kissed Laurëalco on the cheek and tousled his golden hair. “Sleep well, dearest one.”

After Indil left, Elamdir said excitedly, “Naneth! Elladan told me that Ada said when we travel I can ride by myself.”

“Yes, we think your riding skills are such that you are able to ride by yourself. I assume you are done with your lessons for the day.”

“Yes ma’am. Erestor said I am doing much better with history and Elladan said soon I will be able to use a regular size bow. I cannot wait to show Ada how much I have improved,” Elamdir exclaimed, his enthusiasm bubbling over.

“That is good. Perhaps you can show us both tomorrow. I need to go see Airemír for a moment. Will you watch your brother and sister? I want you to stay here. Do not leave. Can you promise me you will watch them and not leave the garden?” Laurëanna asked sternly.

“I promise, Naneth.”

~*~

Laurëanna came into the sitting room with a child on each hip and a sulking Elamdir following behind. Both Elion and Eliel were covered in mud and smiling gaily at their father and great-grandfather who sat discussing their journey next week.

“Elrohir, your son was supposed to be watching his brother and sister and instead took them to the creek. Needless to say, both of them were knee deep in the water throwing mud at each other by the time I found them. I distinctly said he was to remain in the garden.” Laurëanna frowned. “He will not obey me. While I bathe these two, will you talk to him about the dangers of not listening to his mother?”

Elrohir bit back a smile and nodded. Attempting to look stern, he turned to Elamdir, and said, “Sit down.” Celeborn smirked at Elrohir before pouring a goblet of wine and withdrawing to a chair in the corner.

After Laurëanna left the room, Elrohir shook his head at his son. “Elamdir, you know you are supposed to obey your naneth. What would you have done if your brother or sister had gotten into the deeper waters?”

“I am a strong swimmer. I could save them,” Elamdir mumbled with a shrug.

“I do not doubt your swimming abilities; however, I am beginning to doubt your sense. We both know how quickly the twins get into trouble when they know they are doing something they should not be doing. And they do not listen to you any more than you do your mother. I taught you to respect her, not disobey her.”

“But we were just looking at the creek for a little while. I did not know they would get into the water, and I did try to stop them.”

Elrohir sighed and looked hard at his son. “My point exactly – you cannot control their actions so you need to make sure that they are not somewhere they could get hurt. Your mother trusted you to watch them in the garden, not by the creek. Why did you leave the garden anyway?”

“I do not like to play games with them. They are just babies and I am grown. I grow weary of the same thing every day.” Elamdir looked at his father so pitifully that Elrohir almost felt sorry for him.

“In seven days, we leave for Eryn Lasgalen. Legolas will be there and will ride with us to Minas Tirith as well. If I cannot trust you to obey your mother, how can I trust you to abide by the rules set by King Thranduil? Can you even behave in his hall? Perhaps we should leave you behind with your great-grandfather.” Elrohir sat back in his chair with disappointment in his eyes. “I had planned to take you with me to Ithilien but we cannot do that unless we can trust you to stay out of trouble and obey your elders. The twins will remain with your aunt and uncle in Minas Tirith, but I had hoped you would be well mannered enough to visit new lands with us.”

Quickly, Elamdir sat up straight and looked pleadingly at his father. “Please, Ada, I will be good. Do not leave me behind with great-grandfather. I promise I can be trusted.”

Celeborn raised an eyebrow in feigned insult at Elamdir’s comment.

“You represent all of Imladris when you visit foreign lands. I do not think we want the elves of Eryn Lasgalen and Ithilien to think that Imladris youth cannot behave.” When his son looked like he would explode into tears, Elrohir added, “However, if you show your mother and me how helpful you can be preparing for our journey, perhaps you can convince us that you are responsible enough to do more grown up activities.”

“I promise I will be good! Do you want me to go help Naneth with bathing the twins?”

“No, I think you best leave that task to your mother. Why do you not go to the kitchens and ask nicely for them to prepare some lunch for the three of you? Then while they eat you can supervise them and make sure they eat all that is on their plates while your mother and I have a moment to ourselves.” Elrohir smiled with a nod. “Go now, and I will bring the twins when they are bathed.”

After the boy ran from the room, Celeborn chuckled. “Now you know how your father felt when you were younger. Although, your son is not nearly as naughty as you and Elladan were.”

“Do not tell him that. I think the twins are going to be more of a handful. They were only left alone near a creek for a little while and are covered in mud. What is worse is the fact I think that Eliel is normally the one who is in charge of their actions. My daughter is going to be a lot more trouble than Elladan or I was. I would not be surprised if she were not the one who wants to follow in grandmother’s footsteps and travel to a distant land so she could have her own realm,” Elrohir replied with a frown. “I was hoping she would take after Naneth.”

Celeborn snorted. “Your mother was playing war games with the border guards as soon as she could walk. Do not assume because she grew into a calm mother that she was always that way. And I suspect your wife was equally spirited judging who her parents are.”

“Who her parents were? How did you know them?” Elrohir’s confusion jarred Celeborn into realizing he had slipped and came close to breaking Indil’s confidence.

“I did not know them. I just heard a few things from Laurëanna. Or maybe I was thinking of Airemír’s parents. I do not recall,” Celeborn brushed away his comment with a wave of his hand. “Now tell me what your planned route is from Eryn Lasgalen to Minas Tirith.”

Satisfied that Elrohir was distracted enough not to question him further, Celeborn breathed a sigh of relief when his grandson began talking about their journey again. He wondered what would happen in Eryn Lasgalen with Laurëanna. Were any of her past memories true? Would the people there remember her? Growing worried, he realized there was nothing he could do to avoid the confusion if the elves did not remember her.

~*~

The journey to Eryn Lasgalen with two small children and a baby had taken them longer than Elladan and Elrohir had expected. By the time they reached Thranduil’s realm with their family, Indil, and Laurëalco, they were exhausted and ready to stay in one place long enough to recover.

“It is good to see you. I trust you had a safe journey.” Legolas greeted Elrohir and Laurëanna at the entrance to his father’s halls.

Laurëanna hugged him tightly before allowing the others to greet him as well. As they did she stepped back and watched him. He seemed different. She sensed he was troubled and wondered what was bothering him so. After all they had been through together during the war, she had never seen him look so…defeated before. Before she could ponder more about it, she heard a happy gasp from Airemír.

“Lainhen!” Airemír exclaimed and Laurëanna saw Airemír’s younger sister rushing toward them.

After the two embraced, Lainhen said with a smile, “When I heard you were coming, I wanted to surprise you so I begged Legolas not to tell you that we had traveled here a month ago.”

“We? Is Naneth with you as well?” Airemír asked, looking over her sister’s shoulder.

“No, she is leaving Lothlorien in a few weeks for Imladris. She wanted to spend some time with you before she sailed to the Undying Lands.”

For a moment, Laurëanna thought her friend had tears in her eyes before she smiled faintly. “I had hoped she would remain in Middle-earth until we sailed, but I suppose she wishes to be with Ada sooner rather than later.”

“Not many elves are remaining. I came with a rather large party, including Haldir and his brothers. Most of the ones left in Caras Galadhon are leaving with Naneth’s party for Imladris and then some for the Havens,” Lainhen said, then looked sober as she continued: “When Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn left, things in Lothlorien … changed.”

Laurëanna looked at the Elladan and Elrohir with concern. Both remained silent and she felt saddened by the fact that such a beautiful elven realm would be soon deserted. Imladris was empty feeling since Elrond had left as well. The rings of power had once infused life into both places and now, without their leaders, Lothlorien’s elves felt the loss too greatly.

“Well it is good that we have come when we have. Now you can travel to Gondor before returning to Imladris with us,” Laurëanna said and hugged Lainhen. Trying to keep her voice light, she turned and picked up Eliel, who had been tugging on her dress for attention. “Please, let me introduce our friend Indil and our children.”

After everyone was introduced, they moved into the hall as Lainhen and Legolas showed them to their chambers. The city bustled with activity as shopkeepers worked with their customers and everyone seemed to be preparing for their evening activities. Although Elrohir, Elladan, and Airemír greeted many they knew from Lothlorien, none of the the Eryn Lasgalen elves seemed familiar to Laurëanna. They were all very cordial but no one seemed to recognize her either.

Holding Elion and Eliel’s hands tightly, she smiled at the passing elves who watched them curiously. She wondered if their attention was due to the fact they were being escorted around by Legolas. Having to keep up with her children also kept her hands busy, which also prevented her from her regular habit of fidgeting when she was nervous. She wished she had the cool confidence of Airemír or even the quiet reserve of Indil, but Laurëanna could not help feeling uncomfortable here. Considering that she had lived here most of her life, she was not prepared to feel so uneasy. Biting her lip, she attempted to push her doubts to the back of her mind and focused on the conversation within their party.

“It is amazing how different everything is now that Dol Guldur has been overthrown.” Elrohir remarked to Legolas as they walked. “It is like a completely different place here.”

“It is. The shadow has passed and the wood has grown beautiful outside the caverns, not just within. Many elves from Lothlorien have come here, and the city has grown. My father has talked of expansion...perhaps to the South. I think he is doing it to try and convince me to stay here.” Legolas shrugged. “He does not understand I do not want to rule his lands.”

Elladan raised his eyebrows as if surprised but said nothing. They had reached their rooms and after informing them when dinner was, Legolas said, “I will allow you all to get settled and see you tonight.” Without another word, he moved down the hallway, soon disappearing out of sight.

Laurëanna and Elrohir took their children and went into their rooms. After the children lay down for a much needed nap, Laurëanna sat on a settee where her husband was lounging.

“Legolas seemed rather distant, did he not?” she asked. “Something about him seemed different.”

“Yes. Perhaps King Thranduil is putting too much pressure on him to follow his lead, and now that Legolas has seen more of Middle-earth, there are other places he would rather be. He did not travel much before the Fellowship, did he?” Elrohir asked.

“No. But this seems like more than just wanderlust. He seems quite unhappy.” Lying with her head in his lap, she sighed. “Maybe I am just imagining things.”

Elrohir stroked her hair absentmindedly, which relaxed her, and she closed her eyes. After being quiet for a few moments he asked, “How does it feel returning home?”

Opening her eyes in surprise, Laurëanna looked at him strangely. “This is not my home anymore. Imladris is my home. Besides it is like a different city, as you said earlier. It is odd, perhaps, but I feel no emotional attachment to this place. All the people I love dwell elsewhere. I feel rather closed in here. It’s not as open as Imladris or Lothlorien. I enjoy feeling the sunshine, and the breezes fill the room.”

“When I traveled away from Imladris, I always missed it, no matter how many times I left. I am surprised you do not feel that way about your childhood home as well. You have so many memories here.”

Laurëanna said nothing, looking away. She had grown more and more uneasy since she had arrived. She knew it was strange how she felt here. But she had known long ago that her memories of her life until she met Elrohir seemed completely flat to her. She could remember every moment since with great detail and vivid recollections of her emotions at the time. But things she knew should be difficult or joyful to recall from her past left her feeling nothing. Even the memories of her parents made her feel nothing, other than guilt from her indifference. She had hoped that returning here would make her feel something…anything at all. Closing her eyes again, she tried to quiet the worry she felt building within her.

~*~

Thranduil watched his dinner guests over his wine goblet. Particularly, he studied Laurëanna. She had been nothing but polite and well-mannered, but her presence disturbed him. Every time her eyes met his, she looked away from his scrutiny. He tried to distract himself with the other guests, including Indil who sat to his right, but the longer the dinner wore on, the more his uneasiness grew.

“Ada, what is it?” he heard Legolas ask, and he jerked his gaze away from the young elleth.

“Nothing, I am merely enjoying the conversation,” Thranduil answered dismissively before taking another sip of his wine.

Legolas looked at him skeptically for a long time. Finally Thranduil shook his head. “We will discuss it later.” Turning, he smiled at Indil. “Are you enjoying your travels so far, Lady Indil?”

“Please, just Indil is fine,” she answered quietly. “Yours is a beautiful land, and I enjoy seeing new places in Middle-earth.”

“Have you spent most of your life in the Havens?” he asked.

“Yes, when we traveled to Gondor after the war to attend the wedding of the king was the first time I left Mithlond.”

Her sadness radiated off her and Thranduil hesitated. He did not know her well enough to say anything to her about the loss of her husband, so he decided to use a different way to approach her. “Legolas said you were a historian in Mithlond. Perhaps you could help my historians document the events during the war and the fight with Dol Guldur. My main historian sailed to the Undying Lands a few years ago, and he knew the most about our history. Some people have arrived from Lothlorien to help, but there is a lot of information and not very much organization. I could use someone to create a system that combines our most knowledgeable people with the tasks that are appropriate for them. My chief counselor, Himdor, would work with you to coordinate the effort, if you are interested in the challenge.”

“Well, I do not know. That would take much time and I would be away from Laurëalco in a foreign land,” Indil replied but he could see the interested spark in her eye.

“I would think he would enjoy spending time with Elion and Eliel. Or if you prefer one of the nursemaids…”

“No. I do not want him to be with someone he does not know. I will talk to Elrohir and Laurëanna about it. I do not want to impose on their time. And I know that Airemír will be busy visiting her sister and friends from Lothlorien,” she replied.

“Talk to Laurëanna and let me know.” Thranduil reached out and patted her hand. “I do not want to impose on your time either, so do not feel pressured.”

“I appreciate your offer. I admit I am interested in the prospect of learning more about your history.” Indil’s mood seemed to improve, and she spent some time getting to know the king better. Thranduil was able to put his concerns about Laurëanna out of his mind for a while.

~*~

After dinner, Legolas entered his father’s library to find him staring into the fire. He had left their guests with Lainhen and quickly excused himself soon after his father had.

“Ada, what was wrong at dinner?” Legolas sat down across from his father, studying him intently.

Thranduil turned to face his son. “How well do you remember Laurëanna here?”

“What do you mean? She was one of my closest friends here before I went to Imladris,” Legolas answered, confusion in his blue eyes.

“Hmm…” Thranduil’s gaze returned to the fire. “It is odd. I remember many things about her as well. I remember sending her to Rohan and her vision. But when we met tonight, I realized I did not remember her.”

“I do not understand. You just said you remembered her but now you do not?”

“I cannot explain it. I remember the events that have happened and the fact that I did send someone to find you, but then I met her tonight I realized I had never seen this woman before,” Thranduil explained. “Legolas, I do not know Laurëanna, despite my memories concerning her.”

“That is madness. She grew up here and you trusted her enough to believe her visions and send her to Rohan to find me. How can you not know her?” His son looked at him like he had taken leave of his senses.

“Do you remember stories about my father?” Thranduil asked. “Do you remember what he did in his life?”

“Of course, my grandfather was a brave and noble man. You have spoken of him much and told me all about the things he did and the person he was.”

“It is like that. I remember all of the facts and the things that have happened, but I do not know her. It is more like someone has told me all that has happened concerning her. I have never met her before. And I do not know her.”

“How is that possible?” Legolas asked, clearly baffled.

“When she came to Rohan, did you know her when you first saw her? The first time you laid eyes on her at Helm’s Deep?”

“Of course I do. I mean…well…I assume so. I do not remember.” Legolas sat back in the chair and stared off into the distance. “Things are a little hazy about our meeting. We had been through so much that day and I just do not remember what I thought when I saw her the first time. All I know is that she risked her life to travel there and if she had not we would have possibly lost the Battle at Pelennor Fields.”

Thranduil shook his head then rested his forehead on his palm. “I know. And that is what troubles me most. How could I not remember someone who ended up being so important? But I do not. I have never met Laurëanna before tonight.”