Chapter 8. Playing the Part

'We rely upon your discretion,' Ferdibrand said solemnly, fixing the healer with a sober eye.

'O aye, of course,' the healer said. He did not bridle at the warning, realizing the seriousness of the situation. If this news about the Thain were to leak out...

'What's to be done, then?' Pippin asked. 'Obviously I am not going to be able to walk out of here on my own two legs, and to be carried out...'

'But that's just the thing!' the healer interrupted. 'Don't you see, Sir, you've such a reputation built up, it will be as simple as pie! And I've my own reputation to consider... my wife calls me a "fussy old woman" and I mean to live up to it.' There was a tap on the door, and he raised his voice as it opened. '...and you will allow yourself to be carried to the coach, Thain, and tucked up on cushions and properly cared for...if I have to tie you hand and foot to do so! If you insist upon returning to the Great Smials now instead of resting as I have advised, you will heed me in this at least.'

Diamond played her part, placing a pleading hand on Pippin's arm. 'Please, love,' she coaxed. 'It is such a little thing. If we must leave today, you can let them carry you to the coach, now, can't you? And then you can settle in your own bed at home and heal at your leisure. Why, you'll be up in a week, I warrant!'

Pippin made a great show of scowling. 'It goes against the grain...' he grumbled, then relented at his wife's face. 'O all right,' he said, giving in at the sight of her wistful eyes. 'I will, for you, love.' He was rewarded when her anxious look was replaced with a smile, and he kissed her palm before releasing her hand.

Looking up, Ferdibrand said, 'Yes?' to the farmer hovering in the doorway.

'Your son sorted out the bags, and picked out fresh clothing for you, Sir and Lady,' he said to the Thain, still overawed by his august visitors.

'Thank you,' Ferdibrand said smoothly, taking the bundle from the farmer's hands. He put on his stiffest manner. 'I don't know how to thank you for all you've done,' he said formally. 'Your assistance to the Thain and his family have been invaluable. Some sort of suitable reward...'

The farmer put up a restraining hand. 'No, no,' he said earnestly, reddening with pleasure, shaking his head, 'It was indeed our honour to have the Thain grace our humble abode.'

He turned and bowed to Pippin, who inclined his head nobly and thanked him gravely. Flustered, the farmer backed out of the room, still protesting his gratitude at having been able to serve. Ferdibrand eased him out and closed the door, then dropped his official mien and flopped into a chair with a sigh.

'That was beautiful, cousin,' Pippin said soberly. 'The King's chancellor couldn't have done better.'

'Chancellor,' Ferdibrand mused. 'I like the sound of that. D'you suppose Tookland could use a chancellor?'

'The position's yours if you'll have it,' Pippin nodded. 'Of course, with such responsibility on your shoulders, you'll command a salary nearly as great as the Thain's.'

Ferdibrand shot his cousin a sharp glance. 'You don't draw a salary.'

'O aye,' Pippin sighed. 'I was afraid you'd noticed that.'

And so the Thain allowed Ferdibrand and the farmer to carry him out to the coach, to be laid upon the waiting cushions and tucked up with a multitude of blankets. Diamond was handed in next, her feet propped up, and then two well-padded basketfuls of sleeping babes were laid close at hand. Last, Faramir climbed in, shouting cheerful farewells to the farm lads who had shown him a grand time during their short stay. Ferdibrand shut the coach door and climbed up on the seat. With his whip, he saluted the hobbits gathered to see them off, chirruped to the ponies, and guided the coach smoothly into the road to Tuckborough.

Upon arrival before the Great Smials, Ferdibrand jumped down off the coach as a stable lad seized the ponies' reins. 'Hold them a moment, lad,' he said, and entered the main door. He soon emerged with Reginard, who came out beaming to greet the Thain and the newest arrivals. He helped Diamond down, placing her in the hands of attentive cousins who fluttered about excitedly. He reached into the coach again and carefully handed out the two baskets of babe to eager hands. Healer Woodruff came out in time to say sternly, 'Now Thain, I will brook no argument, you will suffer yourself to be carried into the Smials or pay the penalty!'

'And what is the penalty, pray tell?' the Thain asked.

'An extra week in bed!' she said, shaking a finger at him. 'And do not think I won't carry through on't!'

'Very well,' the Thain said resignedly, shaking his head in exasperation as Reginard and Ferdibrand took him between them and carried him in.