Disclaimer:Own nothing of Lord of the Rings, yaddya yaddya yaddya

Chapter 5

As they all gathered back to Thranduil’s study, only one person noticed that Legolas was missing. Indeed it was rather hard with all the elves milling around.

Tasari sat pensively on his chair. He wondered if he should say anything and if he should, who should he tell? Adar? Lomion? Thalion?

He sighed, burying his face in his hands.

“Tasari?”

Arielle’s soft voice broke his thoughts.

“Yes?”

“What is a matter?” She questioned, her voice soft.

“I just talked to Legolas.” Tasari replied, his voice equally soft.

“And?”

“And I don’t know if I should tell anyone what I told him.” Tasari confessed.

“Tell anyone what?” Thranduil’s voice broke through.

---

The wind tore at his clothes, at his face, at his hair, but he didn’t feel it. He could feel the tears seep from his eyes. He could feel the pain tearing at his heart.

And he hated it.

He hated it.

Where he ran he had no idea. All he knew was that he needed to be alone. Somewhere where no one could easily find him.

He had no idea how far he ran. It could have been a few yards or a few leagues for all he cared.

All he knew was that when he reached his destination, he had reached somewhere special.

It was a large cliff with the sea dancing below it. The white path of the moonlight gently entwined with the whisper of the waves, together yet apart.

He stood there, balancing on the very edge of the cliff, his arms hung limply at his sides. Tears ran soundlessly down his cheeks. No effort was made to wipe them away.

He slowly crumpled to his knees, burying his face into his hands.

He was alone.

So utterly alone.

---

Panic set fire to Thranduil’s blood. His only thought was that of Legolas.

His son was in desperate need of him but he couldn’t find him.

His senses were utterly useless. Legolas was nowhere in sight. No touch could tell him where Legolas had gone. Even standing as still as possible, there was nothing that his hearing could define where Legolas could be. He could not taste anything save his own fear for his son.

So he did the only thing he could.

He followed his heart.

His other children were left behind, most of them confused over the sudden turn of events.

But he paid them no mind.

Legolas needed him.

---

Sobs shook the slender frame, but they were silent sobs.

The moonlight had shifted slightly as if the moon wished to comfort the prince and used the only resource it had.

Light.

The light gently bathed the grieving prince, easily defeating the shadows surrounding him and sent forth such brilliance that later on many an elf would say that the light had seemed as bright as the sun.

But Legolas paid it no mind.

His thoughts were caught up in the words Tasari had spoken to him.

“Mortals are not allowed into the Halls of Mandos. It is for elves only. Mortals go somewhere else.”

A shudder ran through the lithe frame.

“I thought you knew that.”

The pain ripped across his already fragile heart, threatening to tear it in two.

He looked up, misery and pain clearly etched upon his face.

He needed arms to hold him, to help ease the pain until he could make it lie dormant again.

His tears slowly drying, Legolas slowly pushed himself up.

He slowly looked around gazing at the sheer untamed beauty of the sea. How ironic that for so many years he had fought the call of the sea and could not even look at it for fear of waking it. But now here he sat, gazing at the very thing he had hated.

How easily he would trade the pain of the call of the sea for the pain of his long dead friends.

A quiet sigh from the edge of forest, shook him from his thoughts but didn’t surprise him.

He knew who it was.

“Ada.” He acknowledged.

Thranduil said nothing but moved forward, gently pulling his suffering son into his arms.

They sat there, letting the time slip away. Neither cared for in truth they had all the time in the world.

“Ada?” Legolas whispered after a time.

“Yes my little leaf?” Thranduil replied tenderly.

“I hurt.”

The simple statement shocked the King.

“I have forgotten the laughter of the wind.” Legolas said, his voice choking on the sobs from the deepest hurt in his heart. “Because all I can hear is the laughter of my friends.”

“I have forgotten how to listen to the song of the trees because all I can remember is the songs of my friends.” Legolas whispered.

“I don’t know how to be an elf anymore.” He confessed. “My path is darkened by memories that hurt. The tears in my eyes blur my sight and I cannot speak for the lump in my throat.” He turned heartbroken eyes upward. “My heart is numb, I only feel pain when I am lost in the memories of my friends.”

He fought to gain his emotions. “I feel so lost and alone.” He sighed. “And so utterly broken.”

“Then let us help you.” Thranduil said urgently. “Let us help you pick your up broken heart and mend it back together with our love, our laughter, our tears.”

Tears choked his own throat, until he could not speak, but continued to hold his son close to his heart.

“I’m broken Ada.” Legolas whispered. “Can you fix me? Can you help mend my heart? For I fear if you cannot, then I am lost forever.”

Thranduil cupped Legolas’ chin in his hand. “I would mend your heart if I could.”

He placed his hand over Legolas’ pounding heart. “I would take your pain in a second, but I cannot. It is up to you, you can take this pain and embrace it and let it go, or you can hold on to it and let it consume you like it has for so long.”

“The choice is yours and yours alone, no one else can decide for you.” Thranduil said quietly.

---

Food was picked at, moved about but only a few bites were actually eaten. Everyone’s thoughts, expect perhaps Marielle’s was upon Legolas.

Each worried what would happen to their the young prince, each wanted to do something, but no one knew what.

“Ada?” Dawriel’s soft voice made everyone jump.

“Yes?”

“May I please be excused? I forgot something at the house I wanted to show Deirdre.”

Exchanging glances with Miriwen Thalion nodded. “Come back quickly.”

“Alright Ada.” She smiled.

Tasari chuckled suddenly bringing all eyes upon him. “It seems so weird seeing you all here.” He smiled a little wistfully. “There is so much I.” He glanced at Arielle. “We have missed.” He sighed. “Legolas being one of them.”

Thalion shook his head. “Legolas is too caught up in his own pain to realize what pain he is causing others.”

“Thalion!” Miriwen exclaimed. “How can you say something so mean? Legolas is hurting very deeply and we should all try and comfort him.”

“No.” Loriel spoke up. “Legolas is being rather selfish in his own pain, Miriwen. How long has it been since Gimli died? It seems like he is hanging on to his pain just to remind us of his mortal friends.”

“That’s rather mean Loriel.” Lomion spoke up. “I highly doubt that Legolas realizes what he is doing.”

“That’s just it.” Loriel countered. “He’s to lost in himself to see anyone else.”

“I think he just needs some more time.” Galador spoke up, his baritone soothing tempers.

“Time?” Thalion repeated incredulous. “He has had how many years?”

“Thalion please.” Lainiel soothed, shooting a look towards not only her children but also Loriel’s and Miriwen’s.

“Legolas has had enough time to grieve for his friends.” Thalion said with conviction. “He needs to realize that we are still here. We have not left. He keeps focusing upon the fact that his friends are dead and not us.”

“Well it’s rather obvious that Ada coddles him.” Lomion admitted.

Thalion laughed. “Ada always coddled him after...” He stopped short. Suddenly realizing the presence of another.

As if everyone was on the same thought, everyone turned to look at the their Naneth.

Eyes were turned downcast, napkins were fiddled with and blushes stained pale cheeks.

“But he is not completely spoiled.” Lalaith spoke up quietly. “I think you were all coddled a bit after I left you.” Her voice was sad. “And it is no one’s fault but mine.” She cleared her throat. “Now who would like some dessert?”

---

After years of commotion, Legolas found the silence depressing. He was so used to some noise in his ears that the silence was almost scary.

The silence that prevailed as the prince contemplated his Adar’s wise words had a bit of melancholy in it. For Legolas knew something that no one else did.

Except perhaps the Valar, but that was something he needed to change.

“Ada?” Legolas questioned.

“Yes little one?”

“I have been hiding something from you.” Legolas began, slowly creaking open the doors to his heart that had long been shut and locked.

His attention instantly caught, Thranduil looked at his son. “Oh?” He prodded curiously.

“I know I shouldn’t have, but I didn’t want to worry you and I know you get worried easily, so I decided not to tell you but you are still worried so...” Legolas said in a rush.

Thranduil raised an eyebrow and smothered a chuckle. For all his hurts and pains, Legolas was still Legolas. “Go on.” He encouraged gently.

“There was something that happened on one of the times I was gone.” Legolas began again, his voice hushed as if telling a secret.

He looked down as if ashamed. “I was walking along thinking about Aragorn and everyone else when...” He bit his lip. “Everything went black and the next thing I knew, I was on the ground.” His brow furrowed. “There was blood on the ground, but...” His head tilted ever so slightly to the left. “I wasn’t cut.” He absently wiped and imaginary trail of something from his chin.

There was shock on Thranduil’s face. ‘Blood?’ He thought.

“But there was blood. Not a lot of blood, but blood.” Legolas continued. He stared down at his hand, suddenly awash in a not long distant memory.

-Flashback-

Blood.

Why was there blood on the ground?

A slender pale hand reached up and wiped away a sticky wetness from his chin then stared in shock at the blood on his hand.

Blood.

Why was there blood?

Pain wrapped its icy tentacles around his lungs and squeezed.

Black spots danced in his vision.

Coughing.

Blood.

Why is there blood?

Pain.

Blood.

“Why is there blood?

-End Flashback-

His brow furrowed, Legolas stared at his hand. There had been blood on his hand, but then he had washed it off.

So why did it feel like there was still blood on his hand?

“Legolas?” Thranduil quickly drew his son’s attention to him. “When was this?”

Deep in thought, Legolas didn’t realize his hand was automatically wiping itself off on his leggings...

But Thranduil noticed. And his worry, panic and heartache burst into a new light... This time for his son’s very life...

---

The fire crackled merrily, contrasting starkly against the dark mood that had settled amidst the adults.

Spoons gently clanged against sides of cups, but no one noticed. Each elf was deep in their own thoughts.

“Ada?” Danuas asked quietly.

“Yes?”

“When do you think grandada and uncle Legolas will be back?” Danuas asked quietly.

“I don’t know.” Thalion replied honestly. “Why do you ask?”

Danuas bit on his lower lip. “Is he going to be all right? Uncle Legolas I mean.”

Exchanging quick glances with his wife, Thalion asked cautiously. “And why do you ask that?”

“He seems so sad all the time.” Danuas’ voice was sad. “Like he has lost his way and he can’t find it.”

Silence reigned at the young elf’s words of wisdom.

“Will he die?” Jehle spoke up.

“I don’t know.” Thalion replied, gently twirling his tea with his spoon. “I don’t know.”

“All the other elves I know that have lost someone on Middle Earth seem to be happy.” Bregolas spoke up.

“I think it’s a little different for your uncle Legolas.” Lomion spoke up.

“But why?” Linnete questioned.

Legolas was a favorite among the younger generation and to see their parent’s and relatives so worried over him was startling.

The door suddenly swept open. “Lomion send for Lord Elrond, tell him it’s urgent.”

Lomion immediately stood to obey his Adar’s command.

“Where is Legolas?” Lalaith cried out, not seeing her youngest son with her husband.

Thranduil quickly shook his head, looking meaningfully at the children sprawled about the room.

Though most of them were young adults they were and probably would always be children in the eyes of Thranduil.

“Children how about a game?” Lalaith called out quickly.

Many of them looked ready to protest, but with a single look from one of their parents, they quietly acquiesced and filed out of the room behind their grandnana.

As soon as the door shut there was instant pandemonium.

“Where is Legolas?”

“Is he well?”

“Where is he?”

“Ada, where is Legolas?”

“Why does Lomion have to get Lord Elrond?”

Questions flew at the Woodland king, but he shook his head. There was no time to answer them.

“Legolas is fine.” He stressed the fine, as if trying to force the idea into their minds. “But I need to talk to Elrond.”

“Why?” Thalion questioned.

“He would understand more than I.” Thranduil said simply.

“Understand what?” Loriel demanded.

“Grief.” Thranduil replied clearly.

“He is fading, isn’t he?” Tasari asked quietly.

Thranduil sighed. “I think so, but I don’t know for sure. That is why I need Elrond here.”

“Where is Legolas at though?” Lothgil inquired.

“He’s safe.” Thranduil replied distractedly.

“Where is Lomion?” He asked, turning to look at his gathered children.

“He just went to send a messenger off for Lord Elrond.” Lainiel replied smoothly.

“Tell Lomion to tell Elrond to meet me at the cliff top.” Thranduil ordered and rushed back out the door.

“What cliff top?!?” Tasari shouted after the retreating figure.

“He’ll know!” Thranduil shouted back and disappeared in the darkness.

Reviewer Responses:

A/N: Hello all... Sorry it's taken me a little bit to get this chapter up... I have been really getting discouraged by the 'constructive reviews' I have been recieving... I will reply to each review, but here is something htat I would like for you to read...

This is fan fiction. Mark the fiction. It's not real. It might be based on something real, but it isn't. I have been taking and absorbing a lot of blows abouthow this shouldn't have happened, this couldn't have happened, you're forgetting someone, ect. This story and any of my stories are something very personal to me. God gave me a gift for writting and when you critize my writting you critize me. And that hurts. Please do not tell me how to write my story. If you choose to find every single thing you don't think is right you can't read my story the way I intended it to be read. This is fan fiction. It's an AU story. It's my version of how I think it might have happened. That's is what is so cool about people. We all have different ideas on the same issue. So let me write my version and you write your version and we can celebrate in the differences of us both!