Disclaimer: Own nothing

A/N: Major tissue warning here...

Chapter 6

A tear ran down a smooth cheek. A pink tongue reached out and wiped it away; the owner then closed his lips as if to savor the salty taste.

Eyelids flew open to reveal gray-blue eyes.

“Legolas Thranduillion!” A memory beckoned.

“What are you doing to yourself?” Aragorn’s voice questioned across time.

“None of your business ranger.” Legolas answered.

“Ha! I think your memory is going, I’m King Elessar now remember?” The memory taunted.

“And where would my mind be going?” Legolas shamelessly returned.

“To the edge of sanity.” Came the quick reply.

“I am already at the edge of sanity.” Legolas whispered.

“Don’t hate me for dying Legolas.” The memory changed. “Love me for living.”

“I fear for him Gimli.” Another memory. This time from unintentionally eavesdropping on two of his dearest friends. “His heart is too frail for his own good.” A sigh.

“Nay Aragorn.” The memory replied in Gimli’s voice. “His heart is too strong for his own good. I don’t think that Legolas will ever be able to give into anything easily.”

“He never will give into anything easily.” Came the soft answer in Aragorn’s voice. “And I fear that will be the breaking of him.”

“He is dying Legolas. There is nothing you can do.” Arwen’s soft voice floated across years back into Legolas’ heart. “He is dying of old age. There is nothing anyone can do.”

“Faramir is dying Legolas.”

“Eomer is dying Legolas.”

“We just received word that Master Brandybuck’s and Master Took’s bodies are on their way.”

“Oh Legolas.” Arwen’s voice whispered once more. “I cannot wait to be with him again.”

“Ewoyn died this morning Legolas. Her face turned toward the sun.”

“Lothiriel passed away last night Legolas. My life, my breath, the other half of my soul.”

“He’s just sleeping! He’s just sleeping!”

Tears silently slipped down the smooth cheeks. Ignored by their owner.

“He’s dead Ada. He’s dead.”

Who had he been referring too? Aragorn? Gimli? Faramir? Eomer? Merry? Pippin?

“They are all dead Legolas.” The statement was startling to the young prince.

“You will remember them.” Lalaith offered. “You will keep them immortal by your memories of them. In your mind they will always live. And once you are married and have children, you will pass their stories on to them and then they will tell their children and in doing so, your friends are every bit as immortal as we are.”

“Don’t you know that we have raised you little leaf?” Thalion’s voice, though amused was tender. “We have learned to read every expression on your face, when you are hiding something or when you are hurting.” He smiled, but it was a rather sad smile. “That’s what a family is for.”

“That is what a family is for.”

The words echoed in his mind.

“I would take your pain in a second, but I cannot. It is up to you, you can take this pain and embrace it and let it go, or you can hold on to it and let it consume you like it has for so long. The choice is yours and yours alone, no one else can decide for you.” Thranduil said quietly.

“No one else can decide for you.”

“Do not hate me for dying Legolas. Love me for living.”

“You will remember them.”

“Remember them.”

“Legolas?”

Elrond’s voice brought the blonde haired head around to look over his shoulder.

“Lord Elrond.” Legolas acknowledged. “I know why you are here.”

“Do you?” Elrond asked, gracefully sitting on the ground beside the prince.

“Yes.” Legolas said simply. “Ada has told you about what happened to me and he is worried that I am fading and he wants you to change that fact.”

Elrond digested the words. “And is that fact true?”

“That I am fading?” Legolas asked.

Elrond nodded slightly.

“No.” Legolas smiled faintly. “I am not fading.”

“So why are you coughing up blood?” Elrond questioned. His healer’s instincts were screaming at him to get Legolas on his back to examine him.

Legolas pressed a hand against his heart. “There are too many emotions within my body.” He looked down. “I have been unable to eat or sleep for several weeks now.”

“Does your parents or siblings know this?” Elrond inquired.

Legolas smiled. “When you push your food around on your plate and cut it in small pieces it looks like you ate something.” He shrugged. “They watch me, but they don’t seem to pay attention.”

Elrond smiled. He knew how that felt.

“I know they worry about me, but they don’t really seem to understand.” Legolas finished quietly.

“You don’t really give them a chance you know.” Elrond admonished gently. “They try to understand.”

“But they can’t.” Legolas protested lightly. “None of them have ever befriended a mortal as I did.”

“Very true.” Elrond allowed. “But that doesn’t mean you should block them out just because they might not understand.”

Legolas nodded, taking the admonishment to heart.

“Now.” Elrond stood. “I wish to examine you and see why you have been coughing up blood.”

“It was only once.” Legolas protested but allowed himself to be pulled to his feet as well.

“Convince your father of that.” Elrond returned dryly.

Legolas just laughed.

----

“Take a deep breath.” Elrond ordered the shirtless Legolas, his hand in the middle of his back.

Rolling his eyes, Legolas did as he was bid.

Frowning, Elrond moved his hand.

“Again.”

There. Elrond pressed his hand a little harder.

“Again.”

There was a tiny hitch in Legolas’ lungs when he breathed.

“Again.”

Making sure of it, Elrond stepped back. “And how long before you would tell anyone about your difficulties breathing?”

Legolas scowled. “I’ve lived with it for quite a while now and I didn’t think I needed to alarm anyone.”

“Except now you confessed to your Adar, who is terrified you are fading.” Elrond countered.

Legolas sighed, having the grace to actually look ashamed. “I was going to tell him more, but he rushed off.”

Elrond shook his head and sat on the edge of his desk. “Legolas, Legolas, Legolas. What am I going to do with you?”

“Nothing.” Legolas replied, his eyes taking on a rebellious look.

“Oh really?” A voice spoke from the doorway.

“I think that Legolas is finally backed against something that refuses to move.” Elrohir said his voice melodiously fair.

“And what would that be?” Legolas challenged, reaching for his shirt.

“Hmm.” Elladan tapped his chin, pretending to think. “Who do you think it would be Ada mine?”

Elrond merely smiled.

“I think.” Elrohir grinned easily, too easily in Legolas’ opinion. “That our gwador (brother by choice not blood) knows what it is, but doesn’t want to say.”

Legolas scowled at them, his head disappearing for a few seconds as he slid his shirt on. “I have no idea what you are talking about.” He fairly bristled.

“Boys.” Elrond’s voice had a warning in it. “I would appreciate it if you did not rile my patient up.”

“By free choice or force?” Elladan grinned, tugging at Legolas’ shirt to smooth out a wrinkle.

“By free choice thank you very much.” Legolas retorted.

“Oh good.” Elrohir returned. “That means that Adar can tell us all your ailments.”

“Boys please.” Elrond heaved a long-suffering sigh. “Thranduil is probably wearing holes in the waiting room waiting for my report.” He smiled at the mental image.

He patted Legolas on the shoulder and exited, leaving him with his twin son’s.

“So.” Elladan seated himself on a chair. “Are you going to tell us what is happening or are we going to be forced to ask Adar?”

Legolas sighed. “I coughed up some blood a few weeks back.” He confessed. “And at times I have had difficulty breathing properly.”

“Not to mention the fact that you don’t sleep or eat properly either.” Elladan stated, with a shake of his black haired head.

At Legolas’ surprised look, both twins smiled, albeit sadly. “Legolas, do you honestly think you are hiding your every movement from the rest of us?”

Legolas blushed, his fingers nervously fiddling with his shirt.

“Legolas you are as dear to us as if you were our real little brother.” Elrohir said quietly, but with such an emotional plea that Legolas could not help feel a little guilty over his want to hide everything from view.

He raised teary eyes to the two figures before him. “I am sorry.” He whispered, his voice cracking. “I have lost sight of my path.” He confessed; a lone tear trickled down his cheek. He made no attempt to wipe it away; indeed it was questionable if Legolas even knew it was there.

“I look at the faces of my family and all I can remember are the faces of everyone else.” He bit his lip, trying to force the lump in his throat away.

“What are you so afraid of?” Elladan asked.

“I’m afraid of forgetting them.” Legolas whispered. “I’m afraid that if I forget, everyone else will.”

“Oh Las.” Elrohir replied tenderly. “Do you really think we could forget Aragorn and Arwen?”

Legolas flinched at the names. He had not heard them spoken in a long while.

“Nay.” He shook his head. “But I fear you will forget the others.” He hesitated. “Like Eomer, Eowyn, Faramir, Lothiriel, Merry, Pippin, Rosie…” His voice choked.

Silence prevailed for a few moments as Elladan and Elrohir frantically searched their minds for an answer that would be right.

“You’re letting them be forgotten.” Elladan blurted out.

“What?” Legolas exclaimed, nearly rising from his seat in shock.

“Easy.” Elladan soothed, pressing the prince back down. “Listen to what I have to say.” He said quietly, his eyes finding the gray-blue ones.

“You have kept silent for so long about them.” Elladan began to explain. “You have pushed their memories into darkness, allowing no one to speak their names, or any memory of them.” He paused thinking quickly. “Even Adar hesitates to say any mention of Arwen or Aragorn.”

Legolas flinched, not so much at the names voiced, but at the fact that even the well-respected Lord Elrond would humble himself to try and not cause Legolas any pain.

“He loves you, you know.” Elrohir spoke up softly. “To him you are just like another son.”

“I could never replace Aragorn.” Legolas whispered.

“Nay.” Elrohir smiled sadly. “No one can replace Aragorn, but you help fill a void within his heart.”

“How?” Legolas questioned. “How do I fill a void when I feel like I am a void myself.”

“Oh Legolas.” Elladan whispered. “You fill the lives of so many here. Don’t let the darkness take you away from us.”

Legolas made no reply.

Elrohir knelt down, gazing up in order to see the haunted gray-blue eyes.

“Don’t shut us out.” He pleaded. “Talk to us.”

---

“How is he?” Thranduil demanded as soon as Elrond exited the door.

Elrond smiled, he knew that Thranduil would be as such. “Sit down Mellon Nin.” He said quietly, gesturing towards the seats near the cold fireplace.

“Well what did you find out?” Thranduil demanded again as he sat down.

“He is not fading.” Elrond said.

Thranduil sighed a breath of relief.

“But…”

Instantly intense gray-blue eyes pierced Elrond, ones quite like his patient’s, but at least these were not haunted and full of grief.

“But what?” Thranduil cried out impatiently.

Elrond hid a grin. Ah yes, Legolas would have gotten the temper from his Adar, he thought ruefully.

“He is not eating properly or taking care of his body’s needs.” Elrond explained. “He also told me he has been having a little difficulty breathing, and there is a hitch in his lungs when he breathes.”

“And?” Thranduil questioned.

“And I think you are doing the best job possible with a young elf who is very depressed.” Elrond said quietly.

“But there must be something more we can do!” Thranduil cried out, standing up.

“There is one thing.” Elrond began. “But I am hesitant with the possible repercussions.”

“Tell me.” Thranduil ordered.

---

“I watched them grow old.” Legolas whispered. “I watched lines grow on their faces, not because of laughter, but because of old age. I watched brown hair turn silver and black hair turn white. I watched as their bodies began to slow down and they needed help just to walk.”

He bit his lower lip, as his voice choked.

Elladan and Elrohir remained silent, letting their young friend voice his hurts and sorrows.

“I watched their children grow, from babies to young adults to mature men and women. I watched them marry and have more children.” His lips twisted into a bitter smile. “I was everyone’s Uncle Legolas.”

He blinked back tears.

“I was there at every wedding, at every birth…” He tried to swallow the lump in his throat. “And at every death.”

“I loved them.” His voice cracked. “But they left me.”

He buried his face into Elrohir’s shoulder. “They left me.”

There was a trace of angry and hurt denial in the voice.

“I told him not to leave me.” Legolas cried his voice muffled by the Elrohir’s shirt. “I told him but he didn’t listen.”

“Nobody listened.” He wailed. “They all left me.”

“Oh Legolas.” Elladan soothed, his own voice choking from the pain of Legolas’ words. He clasped his arms over Elrohir’s and together they poured out their support and love.

---

Thranduil shook his head. “You cannot be serious.” He whispered.

Elrond bowed his head, saying nothing.

Thranduil looked around the room, his mind reeling away from what Elrond had told him.

“Would you do it if it were your child?” He asked his voice tortured.

Elrond looked up meeting Thranduil’s eyes. “I would.” He said simply.

“You want me force him to open his heart? His very being to me?” Thranduil sat down, shocked.

“The sooner Legolas can release his pain.” Elrond said. “The sooner he may begin to heal.”

“But...” Thranduil shook his head, his whole body aghast at the possible repercussions. “It could kill him!”

“But it could also make him live again!” Elrond cried out.

“Nay.” Thranduil shook his head. “I will not risk it.” He whispered. “I will not risk loosing my child.”

“You are already loosing him Thranduil!” Elrond exclaimed. “His heart is being ripped in two!”

“But he is not fading.” Thranduil corrected gently.

“No.” Elrond sagged. “Not yet anyway.”

---

“I hate it!” Legolas cried, tears pouring down his cheeks. “I hate being here alone.”

“You are not alone!” Elladan shook the prince slightly. “You have your friends. You have your family. You have us.”

He shook the prince again as if to try and force the words into the grieving prince’s head and heart.

“You have us.” Elladan choked. He flung his arms back around Legolas and buried his own face into Legolas’ shoulder.

He as well as Elrohir had kept their pain hidden. Not only to protect Legolas, but to protect their Adar and Naneth. But now, here when the pain flowed freely, every hurt bubbling up and demanding to be released, it was painfully hard to relinquish the pain they had been carrying for so long. There was something comforting in the past.

But now, they both realized it was time to let go.

“The choice is yours and yours alone, no one else can decide for you.”

The words echoed in Legolas’ mind.

“The choice is yours and yours alone, no one else can decide for you.”

“No one else can decide for you.”

Taking his pain, his hurts, his sorrows in hand, he held them close to his heart. He could see their faces. Hear their laughter.

And then…

He let them go.

And wept all the harder…