ROFLOL!! Now that was funny! Golf indeed! Poor Merry... poor Legolas! How COULD he catch that ball? ::giggles:: Now the question begs to be answered: Does Merry truly feel that he beat Frodo fair and square, or is this a "win*" with an asterisk(referring to the homerun title of the player who's name eludes me who had the title in a shortened season)? :D
Somehow hobbits and golf just make sense. :D I told my husband he HAS to read this... I'll let you know what he thought, golfer that he is. :)
Author's reply
Thank you! This was a lot of fun to write. I'm glad you enjoyed it so much. :D I'm with Sam on this one - best to leave the golfers to themselves. LOL
Legolas has quick reflexes and heightened Elven senses. He would have seen the ball much sooner than a person and so have more time to prepare to catch it - to Merry's dismay. ;) But it turned out good for Merry in the end. I would say that Merry's win was legit. They were able to determine that Legolas was an immovable obstruction (and really, Merry would not have been able to move Legolas whether they considered him like a tree or not) and treated him as such. ;) Merry won't be have doubts as to his victory. I wouldn't be surprised if Frodo asks for a rematch though. ;)
I hope your husband enjoys the story! :D
Daynawayna
· 30 January 2007
· Chapter 8: A Mister, A Master
Woman, you MUST be part hobbit! The questions and answers you come up with!! OMG... THE LIST. Holy cow, how did you figure all that out??? Waaaaay too confusing for me! Poor Boromir, and poor Gimli! And this is all 'pre-quest', too! Now I know what their days and nights were filled with! LOL Great story!
Author's reply
LOL! Of all the races in ME, the hobbits are the ones I identify with the most - so maybe I do have some hobbit blood in me somewhere down the line. ;)
It did take quite a long time to straighten out those Rules, at least enough for me to write them down. I've been using some of the rules for awhile in my writing, but this finally made me sit down, go through the books, and figure them all out. Poor Boromir and Gimli indeed! Gimli only wanted to talk with Sam and life as the Steward's son did not prepare Boromir for this!
At least by the time the Quest comes along, everyone will be more or less used to the hobbits and their peculiar ways. :D
Elemmírë
· 30 January 2007
· Chapter 9: Fore!
ROTFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This was TERRIFIC!!! And I'm sooo not a golf fan! In fact, just the other day I was shaking my head at the news. Somebody an an ATV drove it in circle on some local golf course ruining parts of the turf. It was stated that it would cost at least $4,000 to repair it and I was thinking, 'Hello people! It's just GRASS!
It struck me too because in my fic for Marigold's Tale Challenge 34, I gave the hobbits miniature golf. It's good to see both you and Lbilover give them the real thing. (I also found this fic to be especially humorus after watching 'Happy Gilmore' for the first time in its entirety the other night.)
You did excellent research, although I found the hobbits' golf terms to be confusing (well, I sort of understood them in your beginning) ... but then again, I also find the RL golf terms to be as well. LOL! I know how mini-golf is scored, but in this tale, I finally learned exactly how a round of 18-hole (or real golf as I'm told it's called) is scored. Thank you for that; I feel less stupid about the game.
And using Sam as a caddy just totally cracked me up. You now have me wondering if he makes some extra money on the side as a turf consultant/maintainer for any of the Shire links. Sam then walked up to the green and lay down on the grass to study the severity of the break in the grain. When he returned to Frodo he said, “I think a push is just thing. The break does run right to left, so a push shot will put you in the better position to make your putt. Or you could try to sink it.”
And Merry and Pippin arguing whether Legolas is a moveable or immovable obstruction. ... And that he's abnormal. *smirk*
Very, very, very smart of Boromir not to get himself involved this time. And poor, poor Legolas. I wonder if Bilbo made the Rivendell Elves crazed by a passion for golf? (then again, they did create a course for him to enjoy during his "retirement."
~Elemmírë~
p.s. I recently found out that there is a degree that one can achieve in college called Grass Turf Science (or something very similiar sounding). At any rate, it's all about the art of maintaining the turf of a sport's field like golf and here's the kicker .... it's like a 6-figure paying job! Sheesh, I went to school for the wrong thing!
Author's reply
Actually, all the golf terms used here are RL terms. They are quite odd, to say the least. How they come up with some of these terms is just beyond me. Games today are scored by stroke play - that is, total strokes accumulated throughout the game, regardless of who 'wins' which hole. I think I like match play better. :D
Poor Sam has been dragged to the links more times than he cares to recall, but then, he could hardly allow Frodo to be caddied by some clubhouse caddy who doesn't care a stitch if Frodo performs well or not. Poor Legolas must have felt like such an object to the hobbits. :P
Boromir has learned enough by now to know when to leave the hobbits along. And let's face it, if a *hobbit* tells *you* that certain hobbits are crazed about golf, would you be spending time with them? If even a hobbit can admit it, you know it's got to be bad! LOL
I'm glad you enjoyed the story! And I agree - golfers take the sport far too seriously. :)
Althea
· 29 January 2007
· Chapter 9: Fore!
Under normal circumstances, I think I'd have to join Boromir and Legolas in that storeroom, not understanding much about golf myself. However, this story was so much fun that I am glad that I was able to tag along during the game courtesy of your imagination. I loved Sam's warnings to Boromir. It seems that they have put their frustrations from the master/mister controversy behind them. Poor Boromir and Legolas will be in for a surprise when they find out who will be part of the fellowship.
Author's reply
The game was a lot of fun to write and figure out how it would progress. I'm glad you enjoyed it as well. :D
Boromir owes Sam a debt of gratitude for getting him out of this one! If Boromir was still in any way irate about the mister/master mash - I doubt very much that he was - he will be more than happy to bury the hatchets and name Sam master of ME. LOL They will be surprised, but not nearly as distraught as some would think to discover that Merry and Pippin will be allowed to go. :D
Bramble Took
· 29 January 2007
· Chapter 9: Fore!
Very funny story and I was so glad to see Merry fulfil his dream of beating Frodo. Their obsession and the hobbits' familiarity with all of the golfing jargon really made the story.
I did notice an error here: It must have been the biggest upset in Shire history when Mr. Bilbo showed up and swooped the championship right out from under Mr. Longo, his own brother.
Longo was Bilbo's uncle and Otho's father, not Bilbo's brother.
Author's reply
Thank you, BT! It was fun learning all that golfing jargon. There sure are some unusual words they use! Still, I think I'd rather write about golf than watch it, or play it for that matter. :D
I just had to let Merry win this match. I doubt there would be much opportunity for them to play once they returned home, at least not before Frodo left. They don't know it, but this really was their last chance to play each other.
Thanks for catching that error! I knew that looked wrong for some reason. You think I'd at least remember that Bilbo was an only child. :P I have now fixed it.
Thanks for reading!
Indigo Bunting
· 29 January 2007
· Chapter 9: Fore!
Ha ha ha! Oh, this was wonderful. I actually laughed aloud, and that's saying something. I think that this part is where I finally started to lose it:
"Did you see that?! A double eagle! A double eagle!" Pippin exclaimed.
Despite himself, Legolas looked up into the sky.
What wonderful comic timing you have! And you seem to write hobbits very well; they've got that earthy, practical element in their speech, and their lack of concern that the other races find them odd is charming. There are so many funny bits to this story that I don't know if I can mention them all. Sam's description of hobbit golf-mania was fun, and Legolas' confusion regarding 'fore' was priceless. Also loved the moment where Boromir and Legolas pretended to see Elrond. Heh. I'm definitely going to have to go back and read the rest of these vignettes. :) Thanks for a great read!
Author's reply
Hello Indigo! I was so surprised and honored to see a review by you! I'm so happy this was able to make you laugh. It might be horrible to admit this about one's own work, but I was giggling quite madly while I was writing this also.
My hobbits are proud to be hobbits and would never think to be embarrassed by that fact. Actually, they often wonder as to the oddness of everyone else around them. I'm sure they were thinking how very strange it was that Boromir would actually honor a prior commitment rather than join them for a round, and Merry was absolutely flabbergasted that Legolas could not understand such a simple word as 'fore'. *g*
Poor Sam. To have to endure being around those so hopelessly besotted by this seemingly innocent game must be a real trial for someone as practical as Sam. At least he was able to save Boromir from having to live through the experience. Legolas was not so lucky, but he was able to figure out on his own not to ask too many questions - not that it helped him. ;)
Thanks again for reading! I hope you enjoy the other chapters as well.
lovethosehobbits
· 29 January 2007
· Chapter 9: Fore!
Oh this was spot on! Golf, to me, is for a whole different breed of human being. I've done it, used to play all the time. The only thing I found benefitial about it was that it was a great way to vent stress as I pounded that stupid little ball into the ground. I sent the link to my sister, who has no opinion good or bad about LOTR and knows nothing about our little obsessed writing etc, because she has an obsessed (for golf) husband and hates that he will drop EVERYTHING to play....weddings, funerals, dinners etc. She hates golf. ;D
Author's reply
Thank you so much! I've been fortunate enough to never know anyone who was a golf fanatic, but I've heard enough stories to know how bad it can be. Golfers really are in a class by themselves. ;) I hope your sister can get a good chuckle out of this. :D
Daynawayna
· 28 January 2007
· Chapter 6: The Best Medicine
These are just too cute Gam! You capture the hobbits ease and playfulness so well, and I just adore how they "worship" Boromir. And his soft spot for the Hobbits is just so endearing... you make me love him more! :)
And Poor Sam... too bad he never thought to hit Gollum with a rock! LOL!
Author's reply
Thank you, D! I do love writing the hobbits. They're so homey and rustic. And there certainly is a fair amount of idol worship going on towards Boromir, especially for Pippin and Merry; while the hobbits' youthfulness and innocence would remind Boromir of his youth with Faramir.
Oh, I'm sure throwing a rock at Gollum crossed Sam's mind any number of times! LOL It's a thing for everyone that he managed to restrain himself for so long. ;)
Grey Wonderer
· 28 January 2007
· Chapter 9: Fore!
(“Merry and Pippin will not be going, I hear,” Boromir informed.
“That is hopeful,” Legolas responded. )
I nearly choked on this bit! LOL So glad Sam was able to save Boromir from the golfing hobbits. Very, very, very funny all around.
Author's reply
I'd like to be a fly on the wall when Legolas and Boromir learn that Merry and Pippin will be going along for the ride. They probably hid those golf clubs so the hobbits wouldn't be tempted to take them along. LOL
Boromir is greatly indebted to Sam. If Boromir had lived to a hundred, he could not have repaid Sam for this favor. :D
cookiefleck
· 28 January 2007
· Chapter 9: Fore!
Ah, this story ("Fore!") is as utterly delightful and witty as your others in the same vein. Sam's warnings and attempts at deflection are hysterical. Thank you!
Author's reply
Sam has been around golf fanatics his whole life and has seen the worst of the worst. He would not want anyone else to have to experience that. LOL All the horrors of war could not have prepared Boromir for enduring a morning on a golf course with the hobbits. ;)
Thank *you* for reading!
mews1945
· 28 January 2007
· Chapter 9: Fore!
Delightful humor.
Author's reply
Thank you Mews! I'm glad you enjoyed it. :D
shirebound
· 28 January 2007
· Chapter 9: Fore!
"The love of golf knows no bounds and can drive even the most sensible hobbit to madness,” informed Sam, with such a degree of gravity that the man almost felt a chill run up his spine.
“We are talking about a game, correct?” Boromir asked.
******
Legolas nodded. “This sounds like a very complicated game,” he observed. “How long will I have to stand here?”
“Until Merry and Pippin can decide what to do with you,” Frodo said.
Bwahaha!! What a wonderful introduction for Boromir and Legolas to golf, a name that now carries with it more dread than Sauron or Mordor. *howls*
Author's reply
You know, if the hobbits had just made Sauron play a round with them, I think Sauron would have happily thrown the Ring in the fire just to get away from them. LOL At least Boromir and Legolas had a nice little bonding moment, which will be crucial for their later adventures on the Quest. *g*
lbilover
· 28 January 2007
· Chapter 9: Fore!
How utterly adorable and I just chuckled my way through the whole thing! I'm thrilled that 'Golfing Fever' helped to inspire this wonderful story. Oh my! I'm glad to see poor Merry finally managed to beat Frodo :) And the reaction of Legolas and the discussion among the hobbits as to whether he was an immovable obstruction or not had me howling. The reference to walking trees gave me a laugh, too. Thank you so much, Gamgeefest!
Author's reply
Thanks again, LB! I loved "Golfing Fever" - have it save to a Word doc - and was delighted to be able to put my own spin on hobbit golf society.
Merry's been trying so hard to beat Frodo for so long. His competitive nature really shines through here. As this was very likely the last game they would ever play together, I thought it was time to let Merry win. Also, the story would have been over too soon if Frodo won again. :D
Legolas held up rather well against fanactical!Merry. Really, he's to be commended. But who can blame him for taking the opportunity to bolt. And while Legolas might have a special relationship with trees, I don't think he ever counted on the day he would be compared to one. At least we now know the answer to the mystery behind Hal's walking tree man. ;D It was the mushrooms. LOL.
Dreamflower
· 28 January 2007
· Chapter 9: Fore!
*ROTFL!*howl*snort*giggle*chuckle*wheeze*wipes eyes!*
Oh golly, this reads like PG Wodehouse! I don't play golf, but I do love these humorous kinds of golfing stories, LOL! Oh mercy! I thought I'd just fall out when Legolas came along and snagged the ball! Was he a tree? *chuckle* Trust Pippin to think up that one!
And I *am* glad that Merry finally did win against Frodo. This should please him no end.
As for Boromir, he owes a debt of everlasting gratitude to Sam.
Makes me wonder: who did Bilbo play with all those years, and why did he give it up? Did he ever inveigle Aragorn or Arwen into playing with him? And how did he persuade the Elves to build him a golf course, anyway, LOL!! *giggle*
Author's reply
Thank you DF! I'm glad this was able to make you laugh. :D I'll have to look into this PG Woodhouse sometime, if I get the chance. The only golf I ever played was miniature golf, which doesn't count in the least.
Merry nearly had a stroke when Legolas showed up, but really, it was rather fortunate for him that he did. :D However, if Merry had wound up losing, Legolas would have been in some very deep trouble. I can just see Pippin's thought process on this one: wood elf - wood - tree. :D
Merry's been trying so hard, I just had to let him have the win. He now has valuable bragging rights, not only for winning, but for scoring that double eagle (coming in two under par) which according to About.com is even more rare than a hole-in-one (or an ace).
I think Boromir should set up a shrine to Sam and kneel before it every day while they remain in Rivendell. LOL
As for Bilbo and the golf course - I'll let you handle that one. I expect the story on my desk by Friday at noon. ;)
Baggins Babe
· 28 January 2007
· Chapter 9: Fore!
Good grief! Something which actually distracts hobbits away from food?! This must be serious!
I loved Merry's determination - and his outrage when Legolas became an obstruction! Sam seems to know an awful lot about the game, even if he is realistic about its peculiar effects. I can imagine him trotting along with Frodo's golf clubs. Just as well our beloved Ring-bearer didn't decide to take those with him on the journey, or poor Sam would have had even more to carry.
Mind you, a mashie niblick would probably make a fairly effective orc-basher!
This was brilliant, GamgeeFest. Reminded me of some of P.G. Wodehouse's golfing stories.
Author's reply
Indeed, it *is* serious when food comes in *second*. Really, I think it could be counted as an addiction. :D LOL
Competitive!Merry and golf are a bad combination. Legolas, thankfully, was able to keep a level head about him. Though I think he and Boromir would have hidden those golf clubs before the Quest began to ensure the hobbits wouldn't be tempted to take them along. :D
Sam might not be a fan of golf, but he would have accompanied Frodo to the links whenever his master went for a round. As such, he would have learned a thing or two, if only to be helpful to Frodo during his matches.
Thanks so much for reading BB! I'm glad you enjoyed it!
harrowcat
· 28 January 2007
· Chapter 9: Fore!
Oh I just GOT to print this off and put it on my Boss' desk tomorrow. He is a golfing fanatic and has actually read LOTR! Well done Sam for warning Boromir!
Great read for a Sunday evening GF thank you.
Author's reply
Oh heavens! I hope this passes the test of an expert! *crosses fingers*
Sam is the ultimate hobbit. Boromir owes him more than he could ever repay.
Thank *you* for reading!
Andrea
· 28 January 2007
· Chapter 9: Fore!
“You can’t play through. But you can’t let it lie either. He’s an obstruction, like a tree.”
“He’s an elf,” Merry said.
“He’s a wood elf,” Pippin said with a nod.
ROTFL!!!
Oh my, this is hilarious! I don't know much about golf, but I really enjoyed this story. I can understand why Merry was so keen to win this game and thus best his older cousin. And it turned out that Legolas was of great help!
However, Boromir's informations will turn out to be untrue, and both, man and elf will find themselves in the company of four enthusiastic hobbits ;-)
Author's reply
Only Pippin would think to compare an elf to a tree. ;) Good thing too, or Merry might not have won. And Legolas will find that he has a new best friend now, much to his dismay - at least until he discovers that hobbits are not always so fanatical about everything as they are about golf.
Legolas and Boromir will be quite shocked to discover that Elrond changes his mind - and just because of Gandalf. Though by the time they're ready to leave, they won't be nearly so opposed to the idea as they are now. They just need some time to heal from this experience. LOL
Vicki Turner
· 28 January 2007
· Chapter 9: Fore!
Very amusing! So, good ol' Boromir gets to miss out on all the exictment this time. However, Legolas is not so lucky. Poor Legolas... I really enjoyed this chapter, although I was almost nearly as lost as Legolas.
Author's reply
Thank you Vicki! Boromir has earned a vacation from the hobbits. Legolas though may be thinking about taking another scouting trip, lol. I'm glad you enjoyed the story, despite being dazed and confused. :D
lovethosehobbits
· 18 December 2006
· Chapter 8: A Mister, A Master
Whew!! What a conundrum! And a funny one at that. Loved this and giggled all the way through.
tree
Author's reply
Thank you! If Boromir only learns one thing about hobbits, it's to never ask them to recite things! lol I'm glad this made you laugh. :D
Antane
· 9 December 2006
· Chapter 8: A Mister, A Master
That was very good advise Gimli gave to Sam - all creative artists should take heed. What a complicated set of Rules though - Boromir's head must have been spinning! So continues his crash course on hobbity ways. That was cute about the Elves getting caught by the snowballs and best of all was Sam tucking his Frodo in for sleep and their murmured exchange - what love. :)
Namarie, God bless, Antane
Author's reply
It's very easy to get caught up trying to emulate an artist/writer that you admire and Sam is no different. Once he realizes that his own voice is just as adequate to describe Rivendell, he'll get his poem written much more easily.
And those Rules are just a drop in the bucket! They have Rules for everything, and they know those by heart also. :D Boromir would be wise to follow Gimli's lead in this also - don't try to understand! lol
Snowballs and hobbits are a deadly combination indeed. Glorfindel learned that quickly enough, and if the snow sticks around the other returning search parties will learn it also. :D Frodo dreaming of mushrooms just seemed appropriate and we know from Gandalf that he talks in his sleep. Sam would naturally encourage him to indulge in his dream!mushrooms, knowing they were unlikely to find any growing in nature this time of year. ;)
Bodkin
· 9 December 2006
· Chapter 8: A Mister, A Master
“How does that make sense?” Boromir asked.
There is a lot to be said for that point of view. I think I would go along with the philosophy - don't even try to make sense of it. It'll just give you a headache.
Frodo's recitation of the Rules was very helpful, though. Very helpful indeed!
Author's reply
Boromir would do well to take notes from Gimli. You don't see the dwarf getting any headaches. :P
Frodo had many teachers over the years, one being his Aunt Dora. She would have been very proud of Frodo's recitation here.
Claudia
· 8 December 2006
· Chapter 8: A Mister, A Master
This was absolutely darling!!
Author's reply
Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it. :D
Dreamflower
· 7 December 2006
· Chapter 8: A Mister, A Master
This was marvelous! I could just *see* Aunt Dora, nodding approvingly, as Frodo recites those rules so perfectly. And really, for hobbits, who memorize their family trees to the umpteenth cousin, it would be a snap to memorize those Rules of Address!
Really very funny, to see the confusion of Boromir and Gimli, on hearing it all. *grin*
Author's reply
Thank you Dreamflower!
Frodo did his Aunt Dora proud. She can rest in peace knowing that her nephew has perfect knowledge of the Rules. lol Hobbit memory capacity is truly amazing - they'd put the most high-tech computers to shame with all the stuff they can cram into their heads. :D
Ah, but Gimli's a bit smarter in this - he doesn't even *try* to understand! lol Once he knew what the argument was about, his concern in the matter was over. Saves him many a headache. ;)
cookiefleck
· 5 December 2006
· Chapter 8: A Mister, A Master
This is brilliant! And so much fun. All of it was thoroughly delightful, and this had me laughing out loud: "...if he gave these hobbits an inch, they’d take the whole mine!" Thank you.
Author's reply
Gimli may not have had much interaction with the hobbits up until now, but he's observed them enough to know that they are quite the charmers and that all of them have a spark of mischief, some more than others. They'd take the whole mine, all right - in fact, they'd take the mountain too it you let them! lol
Thanks for reading!
Selene
· 5 December 2006
· Chapter 8: A Mister, A Master
Poor Boromir, he should not try to understand a hobbits logic. Fot anyone who's not a hobbit it is completely bewildering ;)
You have done a remarkable job on untangeling all of the rules! I'm glad I now have a place to find them should I ever need them, THANKS :)
Author's reply
Hobbit logic is quite unique, but you have to give Boromir props for trying. He's not one to back down from any challenge. ;) It was quite a bit of work straightening out those rules! I'm glad it was helpful!
Thanks for reading, Selene!