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The Enemy Within  by daw the minstrel 57 Review(s)
obsidianjReviewed Chapter: 1 on 10/23/2016
I love to see young Legolas again. You describe him being bored by the court proceedings so well. Not sure what to think of the merchant and why he brought his son and daughter onto this trip.

Author Reply: I'm glad you liked it. I have trouble with opening chapters.


DotReviewed Chapter: 1 on 10/23/2016
This made me so happy :-)

Poor Legolas, bored and, well, safe. I laughed out loud when he realised he'd completely missed whatever sentence Thranduil handed down.

I pretty much sat back with popcorn then to watch the scene unfold once the merchant refused to leave without speaking to Thranduil. Yikes. Clearly he hasn't dealt with him before. And he's brought his own sullen teenagers, who presumably have their own views of how the world is treating them.

Then Camil's back straightened, and Hoth paused with a grimace That's a great moment of the son realising "oh God, here we go..."

Um... who's the elf who broke the weathervane????

"You can show my son and daughter that not all elves are wild, eh?" Did someone mention Turgon? At least Legolas feels all is working out well. He obviously hasn't yet learned that if he and the visiting merchant are the only two smiling, it doesn't bode well.

I'd like to learn more about Ithilden's bad day, please.

And I should say, I'm loving all your little details. From wiping the pen to the rocking ink bottle to Thranduil's hand not moving. It all gives the wannabe writer in me a little thrill :-)

Author Reply: Legolas, bored and, well, safe

Exactly. And Thranduil approves of both states.

That's a great moment of the son realising "oh God, here we go..."

One again, exactly! He's been putting up with annoying paternal behavior too.

Ithilden chapter coming right up.

Thanks for saying that about the details, Dot. I was afraid I'd rushed this because I know the people and location too well.

BodkinReviewed Chapter: 1 on 10/23/2016
My, but it's a joy to see teenage Legolas again. So sure he's mature enough to cope with anything and full of the adolescent huffs.

I'm sure nothing will go wrong ... ... ...

Author Reply: Legolas teeters on the edge between child and adult and Thranduil intends to keep an eye on him until he's sure which was the kid will land.

If nothing went wrong, there would be no story!

AstridReviewed Chapter: 1 on 10/23/2016
Thank you so much for this new story. I discovered your stories about two years ago and I can't stop reading them again and again. I love how you describe the family's dynamics. I am so fond of the paternal but strict Thrandeuil you created. "A watchful parent" as Legolas says.

Author Reply: Thank you!

When I first started writing fanfic, there was a vogue for stories about evil Thranduil, the abusive parent, which I thought was really unlikely. I figure he thinks he has to be strict because his boys are wood-elves, ie less wise and more dangerous. But he does love them.

My beta used to say that I was really writing about family.

m_mcflyReviewed Chapter: 1 on 10/23/2016
I have just recently discovered your Young Legolas stories and I simply adore them. So finding out you had just posted a new chapter for a new story filled me with joy :)

The premise for this story is interesting - it'll be great to see Legolas interact with young humans who are roughly the same age as he is.

I can't wait to read more and get to know Legolas and his family even better. Thank you for writing and for sharing.

Author Reply: I love hearing from new readers. I've said before that it's like finding friends I didn't know I had.

Mix a bunch of teenagers together at a feast and things are sure to be more lively!

Thanks for telling me you're enjoying these stories.

meckinockReviewed Chapter: 1 on 10/22/2016
How can this possibly go wrong? If I recall, Legolas at this stage of his adolescence is a wellspring of impeccably constructed, well-considered bad decisions. I feel bad for the poor merchant who's just trying to make an honest living, keep out of the marital doghouse, and appease the Laketown mayor. And maybe show his kids a bit of how the other half lives. I can't wait to see how Legolas's curiosity plays out.

Author Reply: The merchant does have a lot of conflicting obligations going on. And Legolas can add two human adolescents and their decisions into the mix created by him and his buddies.

Thanks for the review.

PSWReviewed Chapter: 1 on 10/22/2016
I'm so excited!! :-)

Legolas was hilarious here -- between the number of times he decided something was 'boring ', to completely forgetting to take notes, to crushing Ithilian's hopes there at the end, he was every bit the moody, sullen teenager. Well done. :-P

I'm getting bad vibes off of this merchant, and the overly friendly older teenage daughter with the ill-fitting dress. That never turns out well... I somehow feel as though their whole aim was to wheedle themselves in, and I wonder if they already know who Legolas is. Whatever the case, I'm quite sure that when the fur starts flying, Legolas will be right in the middle of it...

Thanks so much for writing, I look forward to reading more!

Author Reply: Legolas is at a terrible age. I'm not sure this attending court thing is working out the way Thranduil hoped. Or maybe it is. Legolas is in the doghouse, after all.

I'm hoping the merchant and his family will be an interesting addition to the feast. We'll see.

Thanks for the review.


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