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Thranduil's Begetting Day  by daw the minstrel 69 Review(s)
DJReviewed Chapter: 3 on 3/19/2006
Another Daw story! I'm thrilled to find it, and disappointed that it's so short. Although I doubt you could have carried on the farce much longer.

I love your original characters, and we got to meet a few new ones in this story. At the beginning of one of your previous stories--the one where Elian and Celuwyn were married with a little girl and living in a settlement--you apologized for starting a story without any canon characters in the beginning. I finshed the chapter and immediately thought, "What does she mean, no canon characters? They're all canon characters!" And then I realized that you hadn't included any characters mentioned by Tolkien and that was what was "non-canon." Well, you've developed your characters so well throughout your stories that they've become "canon" to me. If I were able to visit Legolas and Thranduil in the Woodland Realm, I'd expect to meet Eilian and Ithilden and (depending upon when the time-and-world-machine landed me there), their wives and children as well. I'd expect Maltanaur to be spending time with his wife and family, and Beliond would be on retreat in the woods.

This chapter was really something. Maltanaur and Calith suspicious of what the man was doing near the cave after all of Beliond's suspicions earlier. As soon as Maltanaur said he knew someone who could pick locks, I knew he was going for Beliond. And once Legolas' keeper and Eilian's keeper and Ithilden's aide were all in the cave (having left the lock hanging on the door), it was just a given that one of the boys would come by and lock them in!

Beliond goes back a long way with Thranduil, doesn't he? In the story where he and Legolas, Eilian, and Maltanaur go to Dale, I remenber him juggling knives, and talking about Thranduil's knife-juggling abilities, and how he had to keep them from Oropher. And here he's talking about Thranduil only eating rilliums to annoy Oropher. Did Thranduil introduce Sinnarn to rilliums because he sensed a kindred spirit? I'm not sure Alfirin would appreciate it if Sinnarn brought rilliums home for dinner, and if Alfirin was upset, Ithilden would be upset that she was upset.

Once the keepers and the aide were locked in the cave, it had to be Legolas and Eilian that discovered them. And there was no need for Eilian to run back to the palace to look for a key, because Legolas could pick the lock, since Beliond taught him how after their visit to Dale. And he's not going to tell Eilian where he learned the skill.

The rillium throwing scene was funny. Legolas actually threw one at Beliond! Their relationship is loosening up a little, but I wonder if Beliond extracted some revenge.

Okay, Thranduil was pleased with his gift from Dale. So he finally got it after Sinnarn took it out of the bag to use the bag for the rilliums. But what the heck was it? At first I thought it was a really big bag, and and since Beliond was following the man around, I thought the bag might have contained someone being smuggled into the palace as a spy. But then Sinnarn looked in the package and all he would say was that it was a fine gift. So then I thought, well they're men, and maybe they thought it was a fine idea to have the M.E. equivalent of a stripper bursting out from the bag a a surprize for Thranduil. And Sinnarn thought the whole thing was a fine joke.

But when Sinnarn used the bag for the rilliums, I knew my imagination had run wild, since the bag would have been much too small for a person. So what was Dale's gift to Thranduil?

This was a wonderful, funny, cast-of-thousands farce, Daw. Familiarity with your other stories made it even funnier--Legolas and Eilian rescuing the keepers who are supposed to rescue them, the very suspicious and cautious keepers getting locked in the cave in the first place, Beliond and Legolas both exercising their lock-picking skills. Oh, and the poor maiden dragged to the party by Legolas' match-making aunt. Legolas and Eilian reversed roles here, with Legolas making a fool of himself to drive the maiden away, and Eilian sensibly saying, "Why do you not tell her you just want to be friends?" Then when Legolas actually takes that advice--at least that's what I think he was about to say--he was so firmly rejected: "If you were the last elf in Arda..." I can see Eilian hearing that a lot, but Legolas?

Thanks for a great story.


Author Reply: DJ--

I can't tell you how much your comments about my OCs pleased me. I love them shamelessly. Oddly, I've found that developing them is more interesting than working with the character of Legolas. I think I feel too reverent about canon characters to give them the flaws and history that I feel completely free to dish out to my OCs.

Your speculations about the gift from Dale made me laugh out loud. I can just picture Thranduil's face if a stripped jumped out of the bag. Elves would be so horrified! Men might think they're bizarre in talking openly about begetting days, but elves are pretty puritanical about sex, I think. They tie it to love and to lifelong commitment and more power to them, I say.

This story grew from a germ that a reader suggested: have the keepers get in some situation where Eilian and Legolas have to rescue them. I could have gone serious, I guess, but this was much more fun. I got to cut loose and let my imagination run riot, which I sometimes have a hard time doing.

Anyway, thank you so much, DJ.

yanicReviewed Chapter: 3 on 3/19/2006
I LOVED the Beliond/youngster fight. I love the old crab and his behavior was so funny. I'm trying to think of all the stuff that I liked about it- but it was all of it so great chapter, very funny!

Author Reply: Thanks, Yanic. Beliond had been pushed to the limit and decided someone was going to pay, and lo and behold, Sinnarn popped up and confessed! At least, that's how Beliond saw it. Of course, the king sees his grandson differently. LOL.

IdhrenielReviewed Chapter: 3 on 3/19/2006
I don't recall laughing so much because of a fic like I did reading yours. Beliond's lines were all amusing, especially when he says he cannot be everywhere to spy the men or when he calls Eilian an imbecile! Or the keeper's assumption about the men... this was great humor, for sure!!! Thank you for the delightful reading!

Author Reply: Glad you like it, Idhreniel. Beliond is so much fun to write. He speaks his mind and an interesting mind it is too!

sofiaReviewed Chapter: 3 on 3/19/2006
Loved the story.
My favorite part was when you wrote:
“My rilliums!” Sinnarn cried.
“Your rilliums?” Beliond echoed. He froze in place, glaring at Sinnarn.
“Yes, I was going to give them to Grandfather and now you have ruined them!”
With a roar, Beliond grabbed a rillium and flung it at Sinnarn.
that just makes an awesome image, don't you think?
I also loved how you Beliond and Maltanaur stuck in a cave with a horrible smell with calith.

Author Reply: I'm glad you liked it Sofia.

From Beliond point of view, being told he had "ruined" Sinnarn's gift was like throwing oil on a fire. Someone had to pay, and it turned out to be Sinnarn!

NilmandraReviewed Chapter: 3 on 3/18/2006
Especially considering that Legolas and Sinnarn are not too far apart in age, it must really steam Legolas to see Thranduil indulging him. LOL.

Ok, I admit I laughed myself silly. This was great lunchtime fodder yesterday. Beliond wouldnt' trust anyone like himself, and Maltanaur, for all he is a kinder and gentler elf, is not much better.

Legolas and Beliond though - I'd love to see how Beliond reacted to him after Thranduil left!

Author Reply: I admit I laughed myself silly too. This was fun to write.

What Beliond did was act super dignified, like he'd never stoop to throwing food and couldn't imagine how the others had been to juvenile. He told them to do as the king said and wash well. Then he stalked away.

And the next time he and Legolas were out on patrol, he took his revenge. :-)

emjoReviewed Chapter: 3 on 3/18/2006
Wonderful Daw, just wonderful! I think I was laughing just as hard as Thranduil. I hope the next story isn't too far off I miss your great stories!

Author Reply: Thank you, emjo. I laughed shamelessly as I wrote this. Beliond and Sinnarn are just a natural comic combination. Glad you liked it.

Frodo3791Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 3/18/2006
It was so great to read another one of your stories. I could just picture Legolas, Eilian, Sinnarn, and Beliond throwing the rilliams at each other... would have been a priceless scene. The story all together was a very amusing one. Can't wait to see what's next from such an entertaining writer!

Author Reply: Glad you liked it, Micah. I had a great time imagining these guys having fun in what seemed to be to be a guy-like way, even if they are elves.

ManderlyReviewed Chapter: 3 on 3/18/2006
Oh Lord, I can't remember that last time I laughed so hard over a story! This was absolutely priceless!

Who would have thought that this would end in a rillium throwing war? Almost as bad as tossing stink bombs around, and with Beliond leading the charge of all people! I love that guy! That grumpy old bear really is a child at heart (the child being Dennis the Menace, no less). At least Thranduil thought it highly amusing. I wonder what the Men thought. If they thought the elves had some pretty bizarre customs before, I can't imagine what they think now. The stories about these elves that they will spread once they get back to their home turf will not doubt cause a stir or two.

Poor Alfiren! I wonder how many more Thranduil's begetting days it will take before she can live down this one.

Thank you so much for this top-notch entertainment!

Author Reply: Thanks for your kind words, Manderly. Thranduil took one look at his sons, his grandson, and Beliond all throwing rilliums and knew he'd been given a priceless gift! He must have laughed himself silly, and the Men would have been horrified which probably amused him even more. I love the guy.

Alfirin will no doubt need time to recover though. :-)

Jay of LasgalenReviewed Chapter: 3 on 3/18/2006
What on middle-earth are rilliums? They stink to high heaven, and if you cook them the wrong way they're poisonous. They remind me of Japanese blow fish. And of course, Thranduil likes them! (I liked the bit about him proving his daring to Oropher - sounds rather the sort of thing Eilian would do ...)

I knew, the moment Beliond et al went into the cave, that they'd get locked in, and you didn't disappoint me. That was fun, but I loved the rillium fight at the end - and Thranduil not quite containing his laughter. Yes, this is a begetting day he'll never forget!

Author Reply: I made rilliums up. I was thinking of a cross between a durian fruit and a truffle, but a Japanese blowfish sound like it would fit in the mix too.

Eilian comes by his nature quite honestly, I think. Let's remember Grandfather Oropher too. Thranduil may blame Eilian's mother, but his side of the family contributed some impulsive genes too.

perellethReviewed Chapter: 3 on 3/18/2006
I'm still chuckling, this was priceless! I loved seeing Beliond and Maltanur on assignment, in a secret mission,and with the inestimable help of Calith, who goes to check some boats and ends up locked up in a stinking cave... of course, he can always borrow Beliond's argument about a well-set trap...

Anyway, poor Belioind took the worst part. In Legolas' place I would have doubted whether to free Beliond or rather send someone else to do the job... just in case. HE and Eilina doubling up in luaghter can not have helped their case for innocence, but in the end they all managed to give Thrnaduil a nice present... Poor Ithilden, he missed the party!

Hilarious Daw, seriously. I had the greatest time picturing Beliond's anger rising to full steam in that cave, while Maltanaur tried to keep calm and poor Cálith wondered what he had done to end up in such tight and smelly place!

It is well known that Eman and Helad took to drinking together after their visit to Mirkwood's stronghold.

Author Reply: Calith must have gone home and a stiff drink and warned his son to stay away from that crazy House of Oropher. Poor elf.

But what a good way you put it! They did manage to give Thranduil a present. He must have been sore from laughing. His sons, grandson, and Beliond all throwing smelly stuff at one another. Who could ask for more?

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