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| Good Enough by The Karenator | 13 Review(s) |
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| elliska | Reviewed Chapter: 9 on 3/27/2005 |
| Boy, you picked a tough POV for this chapter--Legolas trapped in bed. I have never read a first person POV that I liked even a little bit before I read Serious Trouble (and I love that). Everytime I read one of these chapters I am amazed at how well you do this. One person's POV throughout an entire chapter and then first person, at that. And it really enhances the story that way. It blows my mind. I couldn't do it. I can barely stay in the same person's POV within one scene. I am always having to correct that and even conscious of it, I don't always catch it. This chapter had to have been difficult to write and you did a really good job with it. The description of over medicated, in pain sickness was spot on. Trust me. Spot on. Kind of made me regress a few weeks reading it. The analysis of Thranduil being out of control of a situation and so striding even harder to bring it under control was soooo perfect. I copied to this 'quotes file' that I have (good descriptions that struck me when I read them etc) for easy reference for future inspiration. That just struck me as so true. And I woke up the household snorting in laughter at Daeron's description of his conversation with The Pretty Elf (that name in itself was funny). You should ask your adar to assign you to court jester.” “I have,” I said. “He does not think I am very humorous.” Great lines! And Daeron is impertinent! And such a little smart mouth! “You will notice that you are not in the position to watch anything but your ceiling. I could copy/paste a whole page of examples here. I just love Daeron. He kills me. Just my type of humor. “An auspicious title, it is: The Sword Wiper.” What a brat! But these were good punishments. I especially liked Belas's and Daeron's glee over it. It is a good punishment. The little fool will get a chance to see exactly how complex Aldamir's job is and how good a job he does of it while Aldamir will get a chance to determine if Belas is worth the trouble/can submit to command. Perfect! Poor Legolas--it's worse to wonder what your punishment will be. And worse for both of them is wondering what the adars' punishments will be. Maybe they will get lucky and the adars will decide the masters have punished them. Hmmm. Maybe. And Elenna and Calith. I am not a patient person. I am just dying to know what Calith's deal is. Great chapter! Author Reply: I didn't realize what a corner I had backed myself into until I started trying to write an entire chapter while looking up at the ceiling of Legolas's chamber. Everyone had to come to him. What was I thinking? I'm so relieved that it came off okay to you. I'm in awe of those of you who can write from third person. I'd be in everyone's head, rambling all over the place. You do a terrific job. If you're wandering, then I'm so enthralled in your plot and delivery that I don't notice. I'm happy as a clam while reading your story. But thank you for the compliment. I feel better. I took my own experience with a spider bite and magnified it a thousand times to try and imagine what the venom of a spider the size of a great dane would do to you. You really were the test case in what it feels like to be over medicated and goofy! Poor thing. I hope you're finally feeling better. I'm shocked, but honored, that you'd fine one of my lines worth keeping. Wow! I don't know what to say. Thank you. What a nice compliment. No matter what else you can say about Daeron, he was practical in this instance. Legolas isn't in the position to do much. But Legolas knows Daeron well enough to know that he won't turn down a challenge. Two goofballs heading for more trouble. I think the two little miscreants were a little obsessive in their worries about the punishments to come. They knew they had screwed up and thought the wrath of the realm was going to descend on them. The masters were probably as shaken up as the novices. They were just glad to get everyone home in one piece. And the king isn't likely to do much more than deliver a lecture on the whole incident. Legolas was punished enough. But I couldn't see the masters just ignoring the whole thing. Belas made that impossible. I tried to fit the punishment to the crime. There's more to come with Aldamir and Elenna. But first, we have some spiders to slay! Thanks so much, Elliska, for reading and reviewing. Your reviews are always such a delight. Karen | |
| daw the minstrel | Reviewed Chapter: 9 on 3/27/2005 |
| These two lines cracked me up: Daeron sighed heavily. “You are so funny, Legolas,” he said dryly. “I can hardly contain my laughter. You should ask your adar to assign you to court jester.” “I have,” I said. “He does not think I am very humorous.” As best as I could with limbs as sturdy as straw, I punched my pillow up to raise my head. “What else did this clean Elf say?” And then I was completely enthralled by Daeron's report of his encounter with the clean elf. Wow! What a wonderfully useful smart mouth. Daeron is perceptive and cynical. What a great combination. It's interesting to speculate if he has sight like the queen does. And now the dynamic duo is planning to find out what's going on and, no doubt, fix it. Poor Aldamir. But in terms of their plan, it's good that Legolas can't go back to training for a while. That gives him time to play spy. And Poor Aldamir again -- he gets to have Belas in his office! Author Reply: LOL! I'm glad that Daeron amuses you. He's pushes the envelope sometimes with his comments, but he's at least discerning about who he targets. The Pretty Elf has ticked him off. Legolas merely can't decide if Daeron is offended by this guy because he's party to the Elenna debacle or if Calith is just a jerk. I'm beginning to see shades of Lalaith's family traits coming out in Daeron. Legolas is tuned into the forest like the Oropherion, but I don't think he has as keen an insight as Daeron into people. Though I don't think Legolas is completely without perception of people, he's more like his adar's side of the family. I think the laundress told him that he's a lot like his paternal grandmother. The dastardly duo have some tricks up their sleeve. They're young enough to throw off the spider business and their obsession with what the penalty of the fight will be and move on to the next mystery to be solved. And being spy sounds like so much fun. Thanks daw for all your support. Karen | |
| Bodkin | Reviewed Chapter: 9 on 3/27/2005 |
| Great - more from the mouths of Daeron and Legolas. They make such a hilarious team! I just love to picture them scheming as they combine to make the 'pretty elf's' life a total misery in typical younger brother defence of an older sibling. Only they are allowed to torment Aldamir! Woe betide anyone else who attempts it - whether the bellowing Belas or the conniving Calith. And Daeron is a clever reader of people - whereas Legolas likes to think the best of them. I can't wait to see them persecuting the pretty elf. Although they are being just a little optimistic to think that the conniving will wait for Legolas to be freed from his bed and Daeron to finish his lessons and his sword polishing duties. I love to think of Belas being forced to spend some time in close contact with the troop commander he insulted so thoroughly (- see, idiot ellon, you should have kept the insults personal. Avoid politics at all costs.) And both Legolas and Daeron are subject to very good parenting - both at home and as novices. I just love images like - 'my shoulder ached as if I alone had been holding up the walls of my father’s stronghold against the tide of ruin'. So clever. (I think my very favourite line anywhere ever is the Daeronism that involves melted butter and toast. I'd look it up to quote it properly, but I'm sure you remember it!) Looking forward to the next episode. Author Reply: A 'Pretty Elf' is certainly cause for suspicion in Daeron and Legolas's book. They're used to being around the alpha male types and this dandy is just too much for them to trust. Calith looks kind of slimy to me too. As best as he can, Legolas identifies with Aldamir having his heart stomped. He knows enough to know that his older brother must feel awful. And true, only he's allowed to torment to his brother. Aldamir saved his life years earlier and Legolas has developed a sense of over-protectiveness about his brother. There might be a tad of hero worship involved too. The Pretty Elf's carefree days are numbered. Belas is mortified that the commander heard what he said and he's scared out of his wits. He knew he was crossing the line, but at the moment he said these things, he was more interested in 'winning' against Legolas than using good sense. His future is up in the air. I'm glad you liked the aching shoulder line. I was trying to get across that exhausted, achy feeling that muscles get when they've been overworked and are tender. IOW, everything hurt! I do remember the 'melted butter and toast' line. Daeron was so glad to see his dull older brother! It pleases me to no end to know that such a line stayed with you. Thanks again for reading and reviewing. I'm glad you liked this chapter. Spider fight up next. Karen | |