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| Birthday Present by Lindelea | 44 Review(s) |
|---|---|
| Anso the Hobbit | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 7/9/2004 |
| Good start! I can`t wait to see what you come up with. My own feeble attempt at that bunny will only be one-chaptered though. I`m glad you`re making a longer story of it. Author Reply: I am so looking forward to reading your version. You have a sure grasp of relationships, and a way of writing that brings the reader into the story alongside the characters. Hope your beta works quickly! My version was supposed to be one-chaptered, but I have a hard time with length--either I write much too much or I write a drabble. In between is difficult territory for me. | |
| Meldewen Ilce | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 7/9/2004 |
| Lindelea, great beginning but one small thing and this may be considered a nitpick - I quote the follwing passage: I heaved a sigh, as I said, and Frodo straightened immediately, from long practice the protective older cousin, though I’m only eight years younger. Will he still be protecting me when we’re old gaffers together? Um, as I said this maybe a nitpick but isn't Merry 14 years younger than Frodo instead of only 8? The reason I ask is because Frodo was born 1368 in the Shire-Reckoning while Merry was born in 1382 of the Shire-Reckoning... Um anyway, I am looking forward to more of this as this sounds like a great plotbunny mellon-nin! Author Reply: Yes, Connie noticed as well. Must admit I was distracted while writing. (not supposed to be writing this time of day when everyone's up and about, but could not drag myself out of bed before they got up, for some reason) Changed "eight" to "a dozen or so", which could be read as 14 with a slight exaggeration. I think it would be likely that Merry would keep minimizing the difference in age, while Frodo, whenever he was playing the "older cousin" role might possibly maximize it... | |
| Connie | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 7/9/2004 |
| Nice beginning. I like the relationship between Frodo and Merry. I always picture them as more like brothers than cousins. Frodo was Merry's first friend, at least I would think he was. One little nitpick, though. Merry is 13 1/2 to 14 years younger than Frodo. You had him eight years younger. Merry watching Frodo battle Sancho was great. Part of being friends is letting a friend fight his own battles, and then teasing about it once a safe amount of time has past. Really looking forward to see where this one is going. Connie. Author Reply: Thanks for the catch. Was thinking of Merry and Pippin as I so often do... changed "eight" to "a dozen or so", which could be read as 14 with a slight exaggeration. | |
| shirebound | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 7/9/2004 |
| What a marvelous filling-in of this scene! I'm eagerly awaiting Chapter 2! *shoos away bunnies, who are staring at the monitor and preening in their newfound fame* Author Reply: Yes, not to mention that the bunnies might possibly mix and produce yet more bunnies... | |