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| Birthday Present by Lindelea | 44 Review(s) |
|---|---|
| Annis | Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 7/30/2004 |
| wow! This is just great! I love the writing style you've used, it's very conversational and hobbity and well suited to this story. Thank you for this lovely story, I can't wait for more. Author Reply: As I said just now, thanks! Who knows what inspiration might strike. Merry's always been my favourite of the Fab Foursome. O wait, that name's already been used for another purpose. | |
| Anso the Hobbit | Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 7/30/2004 |
| Oh but this was lovely! I want more! Suddenly getting Frodo`s perspective was a bit confusing at first, but it was fun with all the side comments for Pip to behave. Such a wonderful story... *sigh* You need to write more Merry pov, please? And the gift (I almsot forgot) was so great! Beautifully done. Author Reply: Thank you! I have to admit, I put the maps in just for you! I loved your version of shirebound's plot bunny. | |
| Jeodo Brandybuck | Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 7/29/2004 |
| I'm so delighted with your story. I've been keeping an eye out for lovely hobbit-fiction, and thought that this one filled the bill for what I've been looking for. Thanks for an absolutely wonderful read,with very true and hobbity characters, and wonderful depictions of our favorites -- Pippin's depiction being added by the admonitions as the story unfolded. What fun!! Congratulations on a great job! Jeodo Brandybuck Author Reply: Thank you! Sometimes it's more fun to imply a character (by other characters' reactions) than to directly write that character. Kind of like drawing negative space (we took an art workshop this week, hehe! Never knew I could draw! Still can't really, but have an inkling now how it works.) | |
| Pearl Took | Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 7/29/2004 |
| *Applause!* A wonderful story, as usual. Perfect where Bilbo left Merry's gift and what the gift was. And I absolutely love the way you worked in Old Rory's gift and his proclaiming Bilbo "a capital fellow" after the first bottle!!! Wonderful! My answer to the poll: leave chapter #4. I like it. I like having someone other than Merry telling the parts he was unaware of at the time, and I love all the asides to Pippin. :-) VWD!!! ;-) | |
| FantasyFan | Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 7/29/2004 |
| Bet you probably never thought you'd hear something like this from me, who's so fond of Our Beloved Ringbearer, but I'd take out Frodo's chapter. I thought the switch in tone and point of view was distracting and all the necessary information is in Merry's chapter. It really is Merry's story to tell, and the more dramatic telling of the rescue by Frodo almost takes a little away from what I felt was the core of the story, Merry's reactions to Bilbo leaving. The only thing that would be missing if the chapter was removed would be a little of the emphasis on the Old Winyards, but you could probably change a few words and heighten that if you chose. Of course, just my opinion. Author Reply: My editor is in full, enthusiastic, head-nodding agreement with you. I'm reluctantly in agreement, for I hate to cut anything, but chapters 1,2,3 and 5 flow nicely and are complete in themselves, and 4 is a bit of a disruption. I'm always cutting background before I even post stories, though sometimes I manage to sneak it in if I've done some revising since my last discussion with my editor-friend who acts as a sounding board, grammarian, and plot-hole finder. I write lots of background (while outlining a story) that readers don't see (sometimes my editor tells me to work it in, more often she tells me to leave it out; just knowing it's "there" adds layers to the story in my head which shows in the writing, I think)--perhaps I'll publish a series of appendices someday. No, wait, that's already been done, and better. My editor-friend, however, tells me she's figured out a way to save Frodo's chapter, based on comments someone made. I read through all the reviews just now and can't figure out who it was suggested a separate story from Frodo's POV (and then one from Sam's) but I've had too much strong tea and my brain's scrambled, sorry whoever you are! Anyhow, we've worked out how to do that separate story and will hopefully have a successful surgical separation soon. Author Reply: Ah, found the suggestion-maker. Bodkin. Got to give credit where it's due. | |
| Elena Tiriel | Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 7/29/2004 |
| I just stumbled on this, and my reaction is: What an absolutely delightful story! You can really see how Merry would develop into the person who writes "Herblore of the Shire" years later... Bilbo sure knew how to encourage Merry's talent! I'd leave all five chapters, but, really, it's *your* opinion that counts! Really enjoyed reading this, thank you! - Barbara P.S. A minor canon note: Sandyman the Miller (whose first name Tolkien unfortunately neglected to tell us) is the father of Ted Sandyman... two separate folks. Author Reply: Thank you for the canon note. I will correct that. Where could I find the reference to Sandyman the Miller? Somehow I always thought Ted Sandyman was the miller... I guess he could have been miller's son and then inherited the Mill. Was he about Samwise's age, do you think? Thanks for the feedback! | |
| Dreamflower | Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 7/29/2004 |
| Oh my no! Don't take out Ch. 4.! I do love this story--instead of taking anything out, maybe a little epilogue in Minas Tirith, with Beregond's family, and one of them providing Merry with a little addition for the book, such as some dried athelas or some such thing? Oh, listen to me giving you suggestions--it's a lovely story, and I just want a bit more of it, LOL! And by the way, whether it is Merry or Frodo, you did wonderfully in the first person voice, capturing both their personalities just fine! Author Reply: O good, glad they sounded in character. I was afraid I'd get "dinged" for making Frodo sound too cheerful. I'd love to write more, but my editor assures me it would ruin the "carefully crafted structure and balance" of the story. Sometimes I think she uses this jargon to get her way... but I find she's got good instincts most of the time, anyhow. Thanks! | |
| Bodkin | Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 7/29/2004 |
| What a lovely ending - and how great that Bilbo saw something of himself in Merry's inquisitiveness and desire to know about things, together with his love of the Shire and growing things. Keep chapter 4. I like the different tone. Or if you really want to take it out, do a different version of the day from Frodo's point of view. Which could then become a version from Sam . . . and others. I like Merry. Probably more than Pippin. He is very giving and extremely loyal to those who have won his love. And actually pretty bright. Author Reply: Ah, here it is! I almost didn't find this review, it had spilled onto another page. Thanks for the suggestion; yes, chapter 4 is about to become a separate story. I hate to throw it out, for I *like* this version of Frodo. I can see him having cheerful moments in Minas Tirith, and not walking around shrouded in gloom all the time. Merry has always been my favourite hobbit, from the first time I read LOTR. It's funny that I write Pippin and Ferdibrand more than I do Merry. I think I worry, deep down, about doing Merry an injustice and getting him "wrong" somehow. | |
| Connie B. | Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 7/28/2004 |
| Aahh. That was such a sweet ending. Merry really is a special person and Bilbo obviously saw his qualities at an early age. What a perfect gift. Don't change a thing! I like it just the way it is. I may be in the minority, but I like it as is. Connie B. Author Reply: Actually, you're in the majority, but I've been argued round to taking out chapter four by the simple expedient of my editor-friend sending me a file with chapters 1,2,3,5 and telling me to read it through without stopping. Then I had to read through what's posted on SoA, without stopping. Yes, chapter 4 is an interruption. Sometimes I don't agree with my editor and I put my foot down ("It's your story!" she says cheerfully as if there were never a disagreement in the first place) and keep what she's trying to cut, especially if I've made an appeal to readers and they argue that the "background" is actually necessary to the progression of the plot. But more often, she's right. Dunno what I'd do without her. So glad she's willing to work for pay in the form of written word. (She gets to see all the stories, start to finish, before anybody else.) But be comforted, for Frodo's chapter will soon have its own home, as part of a separate story. Thanks! | |
| Dreamflower | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 7/23/2004 |
| Oh dear! Well, we know that he gets out--I hope without too much trouble! Sam's gone for help though. It's a good thing they were together! | |