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| Battles Won by daw the minstrel | 59 Review(s) |
|---|---|
| French Pony | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 3/8/2004 |
| Now that was the Snowballing of Snowballings! What a great game. Miriwen and her little friend are just getting it from all sides, I see. Mud or snow, they can't win. And the final Oropherion family brawl was clearly something that has needed to happen for a long time. I always knew Ada had it in him, and of course Ithilden has his dominance to reassert. Oldest siblings are like that, and I should know. I gotta say, Maldor does not seem like someone who should be in a teaching position. He has some serious anger issues to work out, and while warrioring in general is probably his calling, teaching is not. I know that he is teaching serious combat, but he's a danger to the novices if he goes around breaking noses. For one thing, he's bigger than they are, and he doesn't seem to understand that they can't hit him back like that. I've known a couple of maestri who were vicious like Maldor, and they were just horrible. One was a recovering alcoholic who kept his job because no one else wanted it -- the only reason his team had any shreds of discipline whatsoever was because his older fencers did most of the scut work of teaching the novices. The other guy blew off actual teaching in favor of extended lectures and mockery of fencers who made mistakes, and once whipped me so hard I got a bruise on my thigh as big as my palm. His students either quit fencing altogether or left him after finding other clubs willing to train them out of the viciousness they acquired from him. I would not trust either of these two maestri to turn out warriors capable of protecting the Woodland Realm, and they seem very much like Maldor. He deserved every bit of that snowball, and more. The attacking team worked wonderfully well together, especially when it came to the issue of whether or not to snowball nanas. Elowen will never know just how lucky she was. . . What a fun chapter! Author Reply: Thranduil's family needed to play and I absolutely rejoiced at the moment when Ithilden and Thranduil surprised me by joining in the fun. I'll bet Legolas loved it and remembers it for a long time. I have ambivalent feelings about Maldor. In some ways, I agree with Eilian and you: he should not be teaching. But when I write about him directly, I make myself see his point of view and then I lose my clear certainty. | |
| Kay | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 3/8/2004 |
| Wow! How quickly you write! Enjoyed this much! I'm no expert, but I think you nailed this first person point of view thingy dead on. And how interesting that you chose Eilian's point of view. I loved this part: ""Galeril came by, Adar, and Eilian threw a snowball at him for me, and then I threw one at Eilian's novice tutor. What was his name, Eilian?"" Too funny! Thanks, daw, for this little jewel! (Wow, I actually managed to write a proper noun in the lowercase. You don't know how hard that was!) Looking forward to the next one! Author Reply: My pen name is actually my initials, and I started using lower case because I was too lazy to upper case them all. But it's a pain. I have trouble not putting spaces in the name fadesintothewest. Eilian's point of view was fun to write and while I just swore to Karri that I wouldn't write first person again, I wonder how different things would look from the POV of the other characters. That's interesting. Hm. Legolas has a child's innocent honesty, much to the dismay of Eilian, who is not above being deceptive sometimes I'm afraid. | |
| Karri | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 3/8/2004 |
| *grumble, grumble* first person *grumble, grumble* Well, you did a nice job of it, and it was brave of you to try something new. 'Twas a sweet story. It was nice to see Legolas have a good day, and Eilian and Adar getting along. *raises hand* I, too, wouldn't at all mind more elfling Legolas stories. ;-) Author Reply: LOL. Not to worry, Karri. I'm not doing THAT again. Fortunately for me, elfling Legolas is always willing to make an appearance. It's not like RL where you can't go back. | |
| Ana | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 3/8/2004 |
| It's soo cute, adorable, sweet, ... to see Eilian and Legolas play in the snow. Especially since we have enough snow to imagine all those things. Snow is so ql. Legolas is the only person in my life now who is always happy to see me. ... Poor Eilian... How can he believe that. I, for one, am always happy when I "see" him. “I do not think Eilian is too grown up at all,” he said dryly. When I was a youngling, the novice masters and Adar had all frequently accused me of leading others into trouble. ... :))) “Eilian, I just said that I know you will be a good lieutenant. My reluctance comes from the fact that I am sorry to have to lay this responsibility on you while you are so young. If I had enough experienced warriors, I would leave you free of the burden of command for a while longer, but I do not, and so I have to ask this of you. I am unhappy to have to do it, but I am grateful that you are here to help me.” ... I did not realise that Eilian needed to be told that he is invaluable to his Ada and brothers. He is always so confidend and it is sad to see he is not. That's why I like this type of writing, you learn what's really going on with someone, even though I like your usual style more. But maybe I only need time to get used to it... and then I'll like it anyway. I will not think about it, I resolved, falling back on a tactic that had served me well over the years. ... I'd like to know how he does that... not to think about it, I mean Gelmir looked puzzled for a minute and then groaned as the light dawned. “Eilian, you cannot be thinking of showing them how to make snow tunnels. Nimloth said she would blame us if they got into trouble.” :))) ...He is such a good friend for Eilian. Even if he is afraid of Thranduil and Nimloth. Slowly, Legolas smiled. “We will be warriors together,” he announced happily and crouched to his tunneling. I grimaced. I hoped not. Thank you Ana Author Reply: Oh, Ana, you picked out some of my favorite lines! And you're right. Writing this way allowed me to show how vulnerable Eilian can be. He's so cheerful and devil-may-care most of the time, that it's hard to see how much he needs to feel loved. I think he felt the loss of his mother a great deal. I'm not so sure that not thinking about his troubles is a good tactic for dealing with them. I suppose it helps when there are things he cannot control, but he might do better if he thought about *why* Celuwen gets so distant or his father gets so angry. The second chapter will be posted soon. | |
| Jebb | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 3/8/2004 |
| This was a real treat for a Monday morning a lovely Eilian and elfling Legolas story and I really enjoyed the first person approach as I feel you know Eilian so well that it works. Loved the interplay between Ithilden and Eilian wondering what he had done wrong! Guilty conscience perhaps. Also that Eilian knows that his father appreciates the love he shares with Legolas Does this story only have to be two chapters? I am enjoying so much J Author Reply: First person is hard to write but once I got into it, I found I could suggest things about Eilian and his family that are hard to do otherwise. The family came out looking closer, and I could really show Eilian's love for Legolas as well as his need for Legolas's love. I'm afraid Eilian probably has a guilty conscience a lot of the time! | |
| Jules | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 3/8/2004 |
| Yay! I was very happy to see a new story. I love these. I also love little Legolas. Can't wait to see what happens next? It is good for Elian and Gelmir to play w/ the elflings. It means so much to the little ones and it good for the Warriors. They spend so much time in war, they need to play. They had better hope Nimloth doesn't check on them, though, imagine 2 of Mirwoods finest warriors in the corner (LOL). Thanks for writing Jule Author Reply: I thought that Legolas and Eilian certainly needed to play. Their mother's death took a lot out of them, so I think they're good for one another here. Now, Nimloth may not think that! | |
| camp6311 | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 3/8/2004 |
| This story is too fun, don't you think you could extend it to more than just two chapters?? :) Author Reply: LOL. I'm glad you are enjoying it, Camp. Writing in the first person is hard! If I had to do it for more than two chapters, I think I would go nuts. Second chapter should be posted today. Soon. | |
| erunyauve | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 3/8/2004 |
| "I will not think about it, I resolved, falling back on a tactic that had served me well over the years." This first-person stuff is intriguing - who knew that Eilian was the Scarlett O'Hara of the elven world? And it was quite sneaky of Legolas to climb up the hill while his friends were tangled at the bottom - he's got a little of Eilian in him, I think. The snow tunnels sound like great fun. I remember having a regular warren of them when I was a kid, but now, reading this story, all I can think is what my mother always feared (though it never happened): it will collapse on them! They'll all be smothered! Adulthood is a terrible thing, and I think I like Eilian so much because he still has a lot of kid in him. Author Reply: LOL. I never thought about Scarlett but you are so right! And Eilian truly does think of ignoring his problems as a good way to deal with them. I suppose that's a sign that much of his life is out of his control, poor guy. I worried about the tunnels collapsing too, actually. I'm a little claustrophobic and I hated the idea of crawling into one. But Nilmandra played in them as a child too, and she's still alive and kicking. In the second chapter, Eilian's (semi)inner kid will be released. | |
| Fadesintothewest | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 3/7/2004 |
| I think it was very well done. Of course you handle Eilian so well, know him so well that I really and truly felt he was narrating the story for me. Great work! Oh that Eilian, his mischieviousness is endearing and little Legolas is quite the darling. Author Reply: I've really been getting interesting comments about the first person POV. I never realized how many people are leery of it. It turned out to be tougher than I anticipated because Eilian kept sounding like me at my most formal, so I had to keep going back and loosening up the prose. And then I found I could give him a couple of thoughts that he would never say out loud in another story and that was fun -- that one about Ithilden needing an elleth in his bed, for instance. Anyway, thank you. :-) | |
| Tapetum Lucidum | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 3/7/2004 |
| Young Legolas is fun isn't he? I like this one being from Eilian's perspective. Having Legolas wake you up in the morning would be a very good thing. Eilian is lucky. It is nice to feel so loved and admired by someone, you feel you can do no wrong. Eilian needs someone like that since both Thranduil and Ithilden can often be wroth with him. (Ha! I used it too). I agree with Eilian, Ithilden needs to romp in the forest and get a good elleth in his bed. At least we know he will do one, if not both. Eilian's reaction to his Commander's request for a meeting was entertaining. I have often felt the same way - in trouble - even though I know I have done nothing wrong. I have no doubt he deserved the promotion, in spite of the lack of promotable warriors. Having Ithilden sense his consternation and clear the air was an excellent thing to do. Can Eilian play? That's a silly question. It seems he and Turgon are well matched in the trouble department. The attack plan on the path seems like a good one. He and Legolas warriors together? If he only knew! Author Reply: Eilian *is* lucky because Legolas loves him whole heartedly. He returns the favor, of course, but that experience of unconditional love is one he is really hungry for after his mother's death. Actually, Eilian is on pretty good terms with Thranduil and Ithilden for once. I just thought of that. It surprised me! I have been writing about the snowball attack this afternoon. :-0 | |