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| The Real Version of the LOTR by Lindorien | 17 Review(s) |
|---|---|
| Orophins Dottir | Reviewed Chapter: 13 on 12/13/2003 |
| Yo, to heck with Frodo. . .HALDIR LIVES! (If you didn't grow up in the '60's, don't ask!) Anyway, Scribe is doing her happy dance. Take that PJ! *swats him big time* Loved "Then the minstrels could have waxed poetic about my dead ass." You are a comfort to my sick soul, Lindorien! Humble Scribe to his Majesty Thranduil | |
| Nilmandra | Reviewed Chapter: 12 on 12/13/2003 |
| I read this late last night with a glass of wine, and laughed myself silly. I remember thinking the same thing about the elf- if you bring one with, why not listen to him? And Frodo - like someone could survive being bashed by a cave troll - mithril shirt or not! You really are pulling out the 'best' scenes of the movie and poking appropriate irreverent fun at PJ's alternative universe story :D:D Author Reply: Oh Nilmandra, you've no idea how happy I am that you did not kick me off your site after reading this. I had this vision of a virtual pink slip being tossed into my email! I am so glad you are enjoying this. I admit it, I am a sick individual. Sick, sick, sick. That said, enjoy the final chapter. More uneven writing, spotty characterizations and confusing scenarios. thanks, Lindorien | |
| Orophins Dottir | Reviewed Chapter: 12 on 12/13/2003 |
| I cannot wait for the Pelennor Fields! BTW, if you want to keep Haldir alive, fine by me! Him at the battle and Arwen bumping Glorfindel off Asfaloth at Bruinen are major issues! Loved that line about the helmets! Something I've long pondered with hero flics. Right up there with gothic heroines hearing a noise on the Great Lawn at midnight and traipsing out in their floating white nightgowns to investigate. They couldn't shove the bed against the door and dial 911? Humble Scribe to his Majesty Thranduil Author Reply: You know Orophin's Dottir. This is one of those things one writes that pretty much insults and upsets everybody, but, having started, one knows not how to stop writing it. You've no idea how good it is to know that there is at least one other person out there who's sense of human is as warped as my own. The last chapters are up. Enjoy them. And thanks so much for all your nice comments. You've no idea how frightened I was to open those email notifications! Lindorien | |
| Orophins Dottir | Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 12/12/2003 |
| You did well and truly kill off Frodo and served him right. Going on a Quest without his mithril vest. Totally not done! My tolerance for hobbit mayhem is pretty high. They can be so annoying. "We had three of them left and I figured that if each of them got about as far as Frodo had, then we would definitely end up within lobbing distance of Mount Doom before we ran through the last of them." *sick Scribe is very evil for she is laughing unto tears at Hobbit Source Reduction* Onward! Humble Scribe, etc. | |
| Orophins Dottir | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 12/12/2003 |
| "Legolas found the prospect of close to a week underground in a dark tunnel with a bunch of drunken dwarves about as appealing as a ski weekend on Mt. Doom." Whoop! And, my favorite point: nobody listens to Legolas in PJ's films. If he's said, "we must not linger" once. . .Everyone promptly stops for heroic speeches or whatever when the Elf Boy speaks. Why bring an elf if you won't listen to him? | |
| Orophins Dottir | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 12/12/2003 |
| Oh, Eru! And I thought I was strange! *cackles and rolls on floor laughing helplessly* To paraphrase Bette Davis, "hang on, elflings, this could be a bumpy ride"! “Right. If I know your cousin, he was using Gollum for target practice.” “You impune the reputation of my cousin, Aragorn?” Ai, I can't stand it! Legolas waiting for Aragorn to croak so he can have Arwen to himself. BTW, save all the less rotten tomatoes you catch. They do make a tasty sauce says Gimli. Humble Scribe to his Majesty Thranduil | |
| Lossenchristal | Reviewed Chapter: 6 on 12/12/2003 |
| Hi Lindorian, Well, I really don't know what to say! The first three chapters had me laughing so hard, and thinking this was the best thing I had read in a long time!:) But then you ruined it! Let me make one thing straight! I know others have written stories about characters dying, but FRODO CANNOT DIE!!!!! There is no LOTR story if Frodo dies! OK, I am done ranting.:)One other thing I did NOT appreciate was the reference to the "Fertility Rites" and Arwen possibly being pregnant. But otherwise, a very humorous and well done story (minus that one MAJOR point!!!)I might even read the rest of it, when you put it up!:) Thanks for sharing your stories! -Lossenchristal Author Reply: I know, I know. I am so sorry about Frodo! I didn't mean to kill him. It just happened. This whole thing grew -- and grew -- from a little idea started by a desire to do a really bad parody of LOTR. Believe me, this thing is so bad, I think I managed to achieve it. Nobody is in character and the story gets increasingly ridiculous. I hope you will read the rest of it though and it will give you a giggle or two. hehe -- I cannot tell you how nervous I was to read this review. Thank goodness you didn't throw too many tomatoes. It is SO DIFFICULT to remove the stains from the carpet. But, believe me, every thing anybody gets annoyed with me about this piece is richly deserved. I accept that. And I agree...there is no LOTR story if Frodo Dies. This has NOTHING to do with Tolkien's LOTR. Frodo Lives! He just did not want to participate in THIS story any longer. Thanks for being nice -- Lindorien | |