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| Pearl of Great Price by Lindelea | 146 Review(s) |
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| eiluj | Reviewed Chapter: 35 on 2/4/2004 |
| I think this chapter is fine. What has occurred is as clear as it can be at this point. I don't know if it was the boar hunt or Lalia's accident or the description of the returning hobbits that you were most worried about, but I think it all works. I always hate it when authors introduce wild boars into their stories ... it's so rarely that all the characters emerge unscathed (it's like a red flag with "Tragedy Ahead!"). Even Big People with the proper weapons and training are seriously at risk -- how much worse the danger for the much smaller hobbits.... Author Reply: You always hate it when authors introduce wild boars into their stories? I haven't run across any since (what was it? am taking a stab here as I cannot remember for sure) "Old Yeller". You mean I didn't think of it first? (that is, after the author of "Old Yeller" or whatever it was) Well, wild swine are a fact of life and have to be dealt with, so I imagine no matter what the outcome or the losses the hobbits will prevail in the end. They cannot leave a sounder of swine to menace travellers and ruin crops. Thanks for the feedback! | |
| FantasyFan | Reviewed Chapter: 35 on 2/4/2004 |
| Oh, how terrible! Poor Lalia! As awful as she was sometimes, her strength and her devotion to her son was something that could be admired. And to die thinking the worst had happened, that her son was dead. Poor Pearl! There will be a lot for her to deal with - Lalia's death and the Talk about her part of it, the loss of Isembold, and her promise to Ferumbras, on top of the trouble of her family. On emercy - with all that has happened, there certainly will not be an announcement at tea. Poor Isembold! The escort has pledged to protect the Thain with their own lives, and that is what it has come to here. Poor Ferumbras! To have someone die for you leaves such a heavy burden. And the sudden death of a parent, so hard for anyone to bear - shock piled upon shock. And who is the hobbit on the pony - is it Verilard? (I'm making the assumption that both Isembold and the other hobbit are dead, otherwise they would be hurrying back.) I don't blame Pearl for fainting. There's just too much at once for her. I think that this is very realistic-sounding. The only thing I wonder about is something that you can't change, since it's canon. Why did the Tooks have stairs to the doorway of the Great Smials? Enough stairs that you could fall down and break your neck? I know that the Smials are built into a large hill, but a long flight of steps doesn't seem too hobbity to me. I like the contrast of the ordinary bustle of the day at the Smials coming right after the drama of the charge of the boar. I think my favorite line is, "a flock of other sheep to be herded in the proper direction for the smooth running of the Great Smials". You know something is coming, but there is a deceptive calm before the storm. At least Lalia's last day is spent in contentment, and she is focused on beauty right before the end. Now for the fallout! Author Reply: Yes, I have often thought about those stairs. In my first few fics I actually had all the entrances to the Smials at ground-level, but after reading the JRRT letter that detailed Lalia's demise, I had to do a bit of revision. Now I have all the "other" or lesser entrances at ground-level and only the Grand Door with a set of wide stairs leading up to it. As to the rest of your questions, all I can say is that the cloak-shrouded hobbit on the pony is indeed dead, though his identity is to be revealed in the next chapter. Do you know how hard it is to describe a body laid across a saddle, face-down? I can see it clearly but cannot write it in a way that sounds right. You do not know how hard it was to write Lalia's demise! I hate hobbits dying! You're right, there's quite a bit of fallout due in the next chapter. (putting up umbrella) Author Reply: p.s. thanks for taking the time to review! | |
| Connie | Reviewed Chapter: 35 on 2/4/2004 |
| Oh, Blast! I had this long comment started and I did something that caused my computer to eat the darn thing as a snack. Anyway, I loved this chapter. I never thought Lalia's end would come this way. Very clever of you to make Pearl totally innocent of wrongdoing. Now the question will be, will the Tooks see her as innocent? I just had this vision of life in the Great Smials being like living in one of our soap operas. Now that's a scary thought. Connie. Author Reply: Naughty computer, give it back! Play nice! (Drat. And I do so love long comments.) Thanks. This chapter was actually the seed that the rest of the story grew from. I've always known Pearl had to be innocent, and that the accusations of "clumsy attendant" were simply unkind outgrowth of the Talk of the Tooks. And of course it would be unthinkable for Lalia's death to have been deliberate on her part... so though she has plenty of motive in the eyes of the Tooks (considering the Ban on her father, and the fact that they wouldn't know she's taken care of the problem by arranging to marry the Thain), the readers all know what *really* happened, as the story summary promised from the first... | |
| Lyta Padfoot | Reviewed Chapter: 35 on 2/4/2004 |
| I thought it sounded very believable, especially Pearl's detachment. I felt sorry for Lalia thinking her son was hurt or dead. Its the mark of a god writer that I pity the character, almost like her, and then want to wring her neck. I believe Fantasy Fan noted in a review of a previous chapter that you foreshadowed Pippin and the boar - but a second incident is a well-done twist. I hope Isumbold will survive, I like him. Author Reply: O good, glad it sounded believable. It is hard, after so much research, not to show off and throw in a whole bunch of boar-hunting technical terms just to show I did my homework, but I restrained myself (and secretly hope that I did not make an awkward blunder in spite of it all). I'm glad you liked the old harridan. I was rather fond of her myself, warts and all. We all have warts, after all; some of us just hide them better than others. Thanks for the words of praise. Since the boar-hunt with the result of that badly injured hobbit wrapped in the Thain's cloak was the seed of this story, it had to be carefully set-up so as not to come seemingly "out of the blue". Glad it is seen as foreshadowing and a plot twist! (and not too heavy-handed or obvious). And if you notice, I foreshadowed not only Pippin and the boar, but Isum and the boar as well, all in one little table conversation. Doesn't take much to make me happy under the influence of cold meds. (OTOH, doesn't take much to make me flounder in insecurity, either. Hah. Toddling back to the couch now.) Sometimes I amaze even myself. (Han Solo, puffed up by success) That doesn't sound too hard. (Princess Leia, spoken with heavy irony) | |
| Lyta Padfoot | Reviewed Chapter: 34 on 2/3/2004 |
| Interested to see how this story ends up. Pearl is a brave girl, sacrificing her happiness for her family. Not that the Thain is a terrible person, but he's much older than her and there is no love. Plus, I think she'd rather have Isumbold. Waiting to see Lalia bite the dust. My copy of the letters says she dies in the spring, so her hourglass is down to the last few grains of sand. Author Reply: Haven't written any "author replies" in awhile, not wanting to give the climax away, but now all is bared and I can answer. Yes, you were right about the hourglass. | |
| Grey Wonderer | Reviewed Chapter: 34 on 2/2/2004 |
| Poor Pearl! I knew she would try something but this is so sad for her and so very brave. I dread what Paladin will go through when he hears what she has done. Author Reply: Yes, Pearl is brave and bold, a true sister to Pippin I'd say. | |
| FantasyFan | Reviewed Chapter: 34 on 2/2/2004 |
| It does not do to leave Pearl Took out of your conspiracy, it seems. All of those good qualities that Lalia and Ferumbras have numbered also mean that she’s not likely to stand still and see her family ruined, if there’s anything she can do about it. I’m assuming she came up with this plan all by herself, without asking anyone’s advice, and ran with it at the very first opportunity – no time to consult with even Frodo, much less give anyone else a say who could object before the deed is done. But it is a brilliant plan. Lalia will not object – as a matter of fact, she’s likely to be delighted by the chance to see two objectives realized at once: a marriage and presumably an heir for her son, as well as another slap to Paladin. For Pearl, the hard part is done – speaking to Ferumbras, and finding out if he will go along. Pearl has a great deal of self-discipline, and I’m sure she feels the actual marriage and living as the wife of the Thain will not be beyond her capabilities. But there’s some real angst just over the horizon. Saradoc is on a slow journey to Michel Delving and then to Frodo, and by the time Frodo arrives with the gold, it will be all over. Lalia will be even more delighted to spring the completed deal on Frodo, after he’s paid her with hard gold. He may be in her good graces right at this moment, but I don’t think she’ll be able to resist the temptation to profit yet again – that is unless Frodo hears the announcement before setting out, and declines to pay. He’s likely to go to the Smials anyway just to confirm Pearl’s willing assent. I’ve always thought Frodo has a temper, though usually well restrained under a gentlehobbit’s reserve. If I’m right, I don’t think he’ll take it well. Oh, I am pleased with how you worked the question of sucession into this chapter, too. I am looking forward to seeing how this all plays out, keeping in mind you’ve said there’s very little left of the story. Take care of yourself. It seems this winter, and the colds that come with it, is never going to end. I feel like I’ve been frozen for months. There’s but a thin thread of hope left that the daffodils will ever poke their noses up out of the icy ground. Have some hot chocolate on me (or some chicken soup). Author Reply: You're right, she came up with the plan in the dark watches of the night and put it into motion as soon as possible. There was no way to communicate with her relatives; for all she knew, Paladin Took and his family were on their own. Actually, Saradoc is going to drop the pony-and-gold off on his way *to* Michel Delving, quite as if returning a pony of Frodo's that went lame on an earlier visit Frodo made to Buckland, or that Merry borrowed to ride home, or some such plausible explanation. Forgot to mention in the talk of the succession that Tolibold's family (forget the son of the Old Took whose name ends in -bold) deliberately withdrew his branch from the succession, and that Lalia knew that with Paladin out of the running, Adelard would be the next Thain. Adelard, who is firmly under her thumb. Lalia, if anything happened to Ferumbras, wouldn't necessarily lose her grip on Tookland. Of course, that may all be background and no need to elaborate. My editor is always cutting background when she says it isn't really needed to follow the plot, saying it slows down the story... Of course, I as author need to know the background so that I am building a story on a firm foundation. It's hard enough to write "canon" without having read everything by or about JRRT, or worse, having read quite a bit but not remembering it all clearly. I am trying to take care of myself. At present am grimly fending off the Old Gaffer's Friend once again. Wish he'd go off to Hawaii on vacation like the Muse does... and wish the Muse wouldn't so often go off. Ah, well, when she's whispering, she usually works ahead, giving me enough chapters to keep on typing them in and posting them whilst she's off. That's a mercy. Chicken soup, there's a plan. Our daffs are six inches high now. Hope there won't be any more snow or frost to daunt them. I am rambling, a good sign it is time to go. Thanks for reviewing! | |
| Lyta Padfoot | Reviewed Chapter: 33 on 1/30/2004 |
| Lalia certainly inspires others to check her abuses in creative ways. Author Reply: She certainly does! (Belated) Thanks! | |
| Grey Wonderer | Reviewed Chapter: 33 on 1/29/2004 |
| Now that is some very good thinking on Saradoc's part! He must have a very good writer behind him in all of this. LOL I love this one and you are doing such a wonderful job on it. Loved coming home from my evil job and finding a new chapter of this! Thanks! Author Reply: LOL, I don't know about the writer, but Saradoc is a good problem-solver, I think. (That must be partly where Merry gets his talent for planning.) I was so glad to hear you loved this story, and re-reading your review all this time later made me smile all over again. Belated thanks for taking time to leave some encouraging words. | |
| FantasyFan | Reviewed Chapter: 33 on 1/29/2004 |
| Of course! I never thought of Frodo, but of course he's going to get involved to help his dearest cousins. And you cleverly had the ban pronounced in Hobbiton, so he would know as soon as anyone. I need to remember how well they all stick together, and how much any one of them would do for the other - nobody is alone and friendless here, under the ban or not. Saradoc's going to go off to talk to the Mayor? I know the mayor's main function is to open festivals, but there is at least the suggestion of authority there, and Saradoc will be the Master of Buckland some day. I think the more upstanding hobbits in on the conspiracy, the better: to lessen the real damage Lalia can do to the Shire culture with her vindictiveness. (I still think Frodo would have been a natural as mayor. Too bad Tolkien didn't agree with me.) Lalia's not going to like being interfered with, and I could see her insisting on the payment being only in wool, as specified in the contract. They're going to have to be clever to come up with some way she won't be able to refuse. Will the Thain be in on the conspiracy too? It was my impression that the succession of the Thainship is fixed. It appears to be a straight descent through the male line, and any hobbit worth his salt ought to know the geneologies and see that Paladin is at the top of the list if Ferumbras leaves no heir, since he is the only son of Adalgrim, son of Hildrigrim who was next in line after Isumbras IV (unless Heldrigrim had other children, but there aren't any listed). If Paladin and Pip were under the ban though, when Ferumbras died, maybe they wouldn't be eligible and the nearest to succession would be one of the many descendants of Isembold, or failing that Aldelard, father of Regi and Everard? About now the idea of Ferumbras dying unmarried ought to be coming to the front of everyone's mind, and there must be a bit of Talk about Lalia going after someone who could be considered her rival. And I remember from your other stories that when Paladin dies, there isn't an election for the Thainship per se, but Pip had to be approved, and there was the suggestion that he could be tossed out if necessary (in favor of the next in line, I suppose) so maybe it isn't all that cut and dried. It just surprises me that nobody, including Paladin, seems even aware much less concerned about who will be the next Thain. Perhaps Ferumbras just seems young enough that nobody's thought about it yet, though they ought to after his recent health scare. OK, now I'm rambling. You have only a few chapters to wrap all this up, and I'm eager to see whatever clever way you've thought of to pull Paladin's family out of the hole. Author Reply: I thought I'd answered this review years ago when you posted it, but apparently I didn't or else the reply was lost when the story was deleted and then restored, as reflected by the identical posting date for every chapter in the list of chapters I can see through the author's function. On a typical story, I can see the progression through time of when chapters were posted (or later edited). Anyhow, Saradoc visited the Mayor several times a year, probably on business. Thus, they're using "visiting the Mayor" as an excuse for him to pass through Bywater, where he can quietly leave the gold and a message for Frodo along the way without raising Lalia's suspicions the way a special trip to Bywater might. I don't think it was clear at this point in my writing, but the idea eventually solidified that everyone assumed Paladin's grandfather had left a letter removing his line from the Succession. (Actually, he might have left a letter on the Thain's desk when he left. In some story, I mention a cat knocking a paper off a desk and under some furniture, if I'm remembering right. If that was Paladin's get-out-of-the-Thainship-free card, it was either never found, or someone found it and destroyed it. The whos, whys, and wherefores make for some interesting speculation... | |