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Elven Song  by Jocelyn 17 Review(s)
AnkhmarReviewed Chapter: Epilogue on 2/28/2017
Elven Song by Jocelyn succeeds in delivering a detailed, longer story, which can stand-up to the expectations of both, the Tolkien readers and the Middleearth or LOTR fantasy roleplayers. A mature, darker, and still authentic, believable story about near death experiences, a worthy Elf, the Fellowship and the background world which gave birth to the globally known saga.

If I wouldn't have been a MERP (Middleearth Roleplaying Game) player before, then this story would have made me one.

Splendid work, thanks for sharing it with the world!

Given that my skill-level (measure of competence as author) is a bit lower, my only inspiration to share is included cost-free here:

"Middleearth - My first modern cinquain on the topic
© Andrč M. Pietroschek, all rights reserved

Middleearth

Paradise Defiled

Ringwar taking toll

Free folks arise anew

Fortitude"


EilenachReviewed Chapter: Epilogue on 4/9/2007
I really liked this story. You wrote the anguish of everyone when Legolas died well -- especially how Gimli and Aragorn felt. The scene where Gandalf told Aragorn that he could do nothing, that Legolas was gone, and also the scene in the prison where Aragorn tried to take and use the stone were oh so sad!

The whole idea of the stone was great, and the description of how it worked (and was thwarted, in Legolas' case) was very believable. I especially liked the description of the difference Disaran felt when he used it on Numenoreans vs. elves.

And Disaran really did get sentenced to eternal damnation! No less than what he deserved!

Frodo's gift of Arwen's star to Legolas at the end was a wonderful touch. Even though Legolas was glad that he was staying in Middle Earth until Aragorn died, he still suffered through all that time, and I'm glad you thought to give him the star.

songspinnerReviewed Chapter: Epilogue on 1/25/2005
Hmmm...I had never thought of that - Frodo giving the jewel to Legolas. It works, though, and seems quite in character here. Nicely done! I like how the dialogue between your characters rings true and tells more than the descriptions.

-Laura

docmonReviewed Chapter: 12 on 9/16/2004
wait! no! this was supposed to make him want to stay in middle-earth! now he wants to go more!

you do torture us exquisitely, Jocelyn. I was actually surprised by the solution Legolas found on the execution field; I hadn't thought of it myself. And I'm glad that he did finally share the experience with Gandalf and Aragorn. It answered some questions of my own, except one: how did all that result in Legolas's BODY appearing before them, in effect, switching places with Disaran? I'm not sure how that part's supposed to work. And the others haven't really questioned it either, which I find odd, since it's the most shocking part - at least to me. I know spirit and body are bound to an extent, but Legolas's was parted (mostly) from his body. And if it was reunited to it, why not where the physical body was located, instead of where Disaran's was located?

well, back to reading. I MUST find out how this ends!

monica

docmonReviewed Chapter: 7 on 9/15/2004
Comments on ch. 6 & 7:
The chapter titles - stages of grief? I'm not sure since i saw this one was anxiety - that one doesn't ring a bell as a stage... that's what i came up with.

But i realized at the end of ch. 7: if elves where white in mourning, shouldn't Arwen be wearing white? She is still an elf, and in somehting so ingrained as this, I would think it would go against her instinct to not wear white. On the other hand, perhaps she's doing it for her Lord and King? ;-) I think she should have been shown wearing white. But it's hardly soemthing I'm worried about. I'm more worried about if and when Legolas will be returning to the land of the living!!! I'm getting worried now that this will simply end with his resting in peace. But i have a theory - will his restoration involve Disaran's death somehow? Even unplanned perhaps? Since Disaran has the life force of Legolas and others within him, oculdn't it be released in his death??? Just a theory...

monica

docmonReviewed Chapter: 5 on 9/15/2004
In response to your note at the end of the chapter:
YES! You are evil.
But perhaps we all do need a bit of therapy. And perhaps this is a bit of therapy for me. A bit cheaper than a shrink and more fun!

As I read this chapter i could feel Legolas's frustration as i wanted him to be able to touch something, someONE, be able to reach Gimli, to let them know what's happening. Very well done.

docmonReviewed Chapter: 2 on 9/15/2004
Well, i'm glad that chapter made you cry, because it made ME cry, too! And before you think I'm just a poor sap, I rarely cry for books, movies, anything. But the grief was so palpable. The utter despair and grief of the characters moved me. And just like me (and other readers, i'd guess), the characters did not want to believe he was dead. I could relate to them so much! And I'm still waiting - patiently - for when you bring him back!

I foudn your work under the recommended readings of Thundera, and I'm so glad. You're a wonderful writer (if a bit cruel ;-P)! I can't wait to read more of your work!

monica

docmonReviewed Chapter: 1 on 9/14/2004
You did it. You really did it. I had to turn my computer back on after shutting it down, just to say this:
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Ok, that out of my system (well, not really), this is proving a great story already. Well, as long as you bring him BACK, somehow. And that's an order. ;-) The background of the Black Hunter is really interesting. I like how you've interwined the backstory with the present.

This is exactly why I try not to read incomplete stories. If there had been no 'next chapter' to follow that, now what would I have done? Insanity comes to mind...

I suppose I shall have to continue on and suffer with Legolas (who you're bringing back!)(better be...).

I really am enjoying the story. And I'm not usually so... two-year-oldish? But you killed him... Ok, i'm going on to the next chapter to find out how this gets fixed!

monica

Agent FisshReviewed Chapter: Epilogue on 8/24/2004
Loved it. Write more!

wantanelfReviewed Chapter: Epilogue on 7/16/2004
I just loved this last chapter. It's so sweet. The hobbits and Legolas, how can you go wrong. I have really enjoyed this story and am sad to see it end. You did a wonderful job with all the characters. I think Tolkien would approve. I'm looking forward to your future works!!

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