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Not Gonna Happens  by Larner 16 Review(s)
Kaylee ArafinwielReviewed Chapter: 3 on 10/21/2011
Hi Larner!!

Now, I got a bit confused here with some of the names...The Silmarillion's one of my favourites! However, I'm not as Discworld-obsessed as a certain sibling. Harriet Beecher Stowe I know (though I haven't read =( ) and of course Andersen and Dickens. Yeah, this Frodo's rather more sullen and sensitive than I like! Not Gonna Happen, indeed! Interesting mix!

Author Reply: This one presented itself to me as a dream just as I was awakening one morning. I had this sudden impression of a frustrated Frodo stamping his foot and saying, "It's just not fair!" and I had to figure out just WHAT wasn't fair? And it was fun to work in Deagol and Turin's sister-wife as well as Cedric Digory from HP and so on. It was fun to write, I found.

6336Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 3/8/2009
The sad thing is more people will know of Little Eva, Tiny Tim and the Little Match Girl than will ever know of Frodo and Neinor. Had to think about Neinor my self, one of Hurin's munchkins!
By the way your stuff is great to knit to, I am up to 3 hats and 4 pairs of mittens, Lesser Rings and Reunion, knitting for the Orclings and their Mum.
More please,
Lynda

Author Reply: Nienor and Turin were so betrayed by the dragon and Morgoth!

You knit to my stories? Do you listen to them via JAWS or WindowEyes or something? I crochet or drive while I'm listening to stories.

I have to finish three chapters I've started! But they are all creeping out paragraphs at a time! Aargh!

Love to the Orclings and their Mum!

Linda HoylandReviewed Chapter: 3 on 8/23/2007
Just hilarious !I like your version of these over sentimental tragic characters.

Author Reply: So glad you enjoyed it, Linda. Yes, a good deal of sentimentality here, but it's all in good fun. But I had this dream in which Frodo went stomping off crying, "It's just not fair!" and had to figure out what sparked that response--and this is what came out. Heh!

Queen GaladrielReviewed Chapter: 3 on 8/18/2007
Oh, my goodness! LOL! Wow!

¡§You mean that I had to go through almost a year¡¦s torture carrying that all the way to and through Mordor, followed by two and a half years
of feeling increasingly alienated and empty; and this child--this child only had to appear pitiable?¡¨

Methinks our esteemed Lord Iorhael ought to consider his situation and motives for obtaining it before exploding. :D

Ah, someone ought to introduce him to Beth March; she might be able to talk to him if she could get over her own shyness. ƒº And even if she couldn¡¦t, music has a softening influence¡Kif they have pianos in the Halls of Mandos. ƒº

Or Frodo could just have his own wing, but it could get rather lonely, I¡¦d think. Course, some writer could always give him a companion¡K*snicker*

Who is little Eva? Now I¡¦m interested. I love sad stories, even though I do usually end up crying over them. ƒº

That was truly hilarious!

I¡¦ve missed you all as well! Not that I was online as much as I used to be even before the computer expired, but when one *can¡¦t* get on, one realizes how much one misses it. Your reason for keeping my shameful review made me laugh. It¡¦s definitely something to marvel at; I couldn¡¦t read it, and I *wrote* it!

My brother and I are managing to keep a delicate peace over JAWS, and I hope it lasts because if it doesn¡¦t, the first few weeks of school are going to be really miserable. Hopefully he¡¦ll get to hate it less; he certainly didn¡¦t hate it when I was trying to install it. I eventually let him because he was so fascinated and wanted to so much, and it was¡Kquite amusing; he was laughing at the default slow speech, and I was laughing at him laughing at it. ƒº
God bless,
Galadriel


Author Reply: Little Eva dies of consumption in "Uncle Tom's Cabin." If you ever have the chance to see "The King and I" you will see in it a version of Uncle Tom's Cabin and Little Eva's death that is both funny and touching. They are in the Harriet Beecher Stowe wing, you will remember. And it's very likely the March girls were very familiar with Harriet's most famous work, as it was one of the rallying points for the Civil War in which their father was fighting.

I do believe that Frodo and Beth would have gotten along famously, particularly if she has access to a piano.

So glad this gave you a laugh--it was great fun to write one morning after I'd had this particularly absurd dream in which I heard Frodo exclaim "It's not fair!" and go stomping off.

At least he can turn JAWS off easily, as I do at Meesh's when I sneak down to use hers when I'm visiting. It can be annoying for those of us who'd rather not have our things slowed down while we compute away.

InklingReviewed Chapter: 3 on 7/20/2007
"...a twisting in the fabric of the space-time continuum from having brought so much focus of pathos to one place." BWAHAHAHA!

Love this, Larner...and that it's in the Jasper Fforde wing is just perfect. Would love to see Frodo find himself in the Library, talking to the Unitary Authority of Warrington Cat. As it is, I think he's going to demand a wing all to himself, for Blameless Tragic Heroes Who Have Endured Unimaginable Suffering That No One Else Can Possibly Understand.

MEFA duties have once again left me woefully behind on reading, but this was a quick, fun diversion!

Author Reply: So glad you had time to read this, Inkling. Loved finding ways to reference Fforde, Pratchet, and a few others here along the way. And the particular wing where he might have dwelt--that itself is just priceless!

As for finding oneself hopelessly behind in reading--Oh, do I know that one. And those that appear here are intended as quick diversions, after all.

harrowcatReviewed Chapter: 3 on 7/10/2007
This did make me grin!

Lovely choice of tragic characters. I'm off to Derby for the day tomorrow for a meeting so I might spend the three hour drive contemplating who else he might have met! Perhaps the odd red-shirted security type from Star Trek?
Currently listening to HP again prior to the last book coming out!

Author Reply: Glad you approve! It was fun for me trying to figure out who might have been included. And certainly the security folk from Star Trek did tend to have a remarkably high mortality rate!

I've been tempted to reread book five over the next few trips to work and back myself in anticipation of the movie, followed by six in anticipation of the book. Although each time I face Dumbledore's fall it shakes me. But phoenix song was involved--it must mean something!

Linda HoylandReviewed Chapter: 3 on 7/8/2007
This was very enjoyable, I loved the way you brought all the characters in.

Author Reply: Glad you enjoyed it, Linda. Hope it gave you a good giggle.

AntaneReviewed Chapter: 3 on 7/7/2007
Poor Frodo! :) Not fair, indeed! *stamps foot in shared indigination*

How about Frodo and Feanor meeting? Now that I would like to see, both being possessed by their possessions. I've got an idea about that, but it's a very shy bunny who normally like to do nothing but hide under the bed.

Namarie, God bless, Antane :)

Author Reply: Okay, let's see how well you can coax that particular plot bunny out to display itself. And so glad you enjoyed this one.

LindeleaReviewed Chapter: 3 on 7/7/2007
p.s. would have to add my Denny to the list, the "alternate reality" Denny, that is, except that he'd be cracking jokes and punning and teaching the youngsters how to gamble and quite disrupting the place. Perhaps it's a good thing after all that he wasn't killed off in "Glisters".

Author Reply: Perhaps that's precisely what that particular hall needs--a bit of earthiness added to it.

Love to the Hobbitlings and the Hubby and Zoe.

LindeleaReviewed Chapter: 3 on 7/7/2007
*speechless*

*snorking*

brilliant. quite brilliant. hats off to you. *g*

Author Reply: Thanks, Lindelea. That's praise indeed!

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