News Resources
Login
Become a member
Help
Search
|
|
| About Us News Resources
Login
Become a member
Help
Search
|
|
|
| Fallow by Ariel | 48 Review(s) |
|---|---|
| Regina | Reviewed Chapter: 6 on 12/22/2007 |
| Wow, Ariel, I finally return to fanfic after my long, strange trip away & find this excellent story waiting for me! I really enjoyed the different take on this group of characters, particularly Lalia. You're much nicer than I am--to me she's just a bitch. You've made her far more complicated, & that's a good thing. Am tempted to ask when an update might be in the offing, but considering my track record for slow posting, I'd better not. :-) A good job indeed! Author Reply: I've had this story in my head for a great while but hadn't written it down, partly because I had so many other ideas but also because so many other people had great interpretations of these characters and events too. Your request for an update comes at a fortuitous time, actually. I've had some spare time lately and have been pondering this story because, as you might know, I can't stand an unfinished fic. Lalia - indeed. That's how most people see her, but I've never met anyone who was simply 'evil' (well, Cheney comes close, but I digress). There has to be a reason for what is perceived of as 'evil' and I've always thought that Lalia could not possibly be simply a bitch. In this story, I will be giving her a very powerful reason for being thoroughly ruthless - and it will be seen in later chapters - and I've given Pearl a reason, and a nature, for being just as embittered and ruthless in return. It should turn out to be an interesting story - or at least it will if I get off my butt and finish it. Nice to see you around again. Hope things are going well. | |
| Inkling | Reviewed Chapter: 6 on 12/3/2006 |
| Well my dear, I’ve been waiting with great anticipation for the appearance of Lalia and she did not disappoint! You do write the best villains…because they’re not all bad! Just like Dody’s stepmother in “Fear,” Lalia is shrewd, interesting, memorable…a complex, “real” character. If you look at things from her point of view, she’s not really a villain at all! Brava! As for Pearl, I feel for her, because I was that young and foolish once…boy, the one-sided fantasies we can create in our own minds! Ps—you’re missing a word: “Memory had not recalled the velvet clarity of his voice” Author Reply: Ooo! Good catch! Amazing what the mind fills in - LOL! And thank YOU! *bows* Villians who are complex and believable are ever so much more fun to write too! It also makes the hero's task more impressive when he/she defeats them. Hehee! I hope I can continue to delight you with this. | |
| White Gull | Reviewed Chapter: 6 on 12/2/2006 |
| The feel of his kiss had been burned into her mind and heart. The touch of his hand, the warmth of his skin, the hungry purpose with which he moved; nothing had ever felt so magical or perfect or so utterly right. She had built a fortress on that memory and it had cradled her spirit for many years. Plucked straight from my soul. Beautiful chapter, Ariel, and I hope (selfishly) that the next one's not as long in coming. WG Author Reply: LOL! Me too! At least I haven't got any elections coming up to take my focus away. Thanks for letting me know you liked it. | |
| Larner | Reviewed Chapter: 6 on 11/29/2006 |
| Poor lass--in love with a dream--a dream in part stolen by the Ring he carried, fastened to the fine chain attached to his belt. Author Reply: Bingo. She's certainly set herself up for some serious heartache and it's not going to get any easier for her in the immediate future. I hope you don't mind a bit of angst coming up. | |
| Larner | Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 11/29/2006 |
| And how much of his reaction is the effect of the Ring? It's already taking hold of him, I suspect. I truly feel for Pearl in this situation. Author Reply: Considering how quickly it started affecting Bilbo, I thought it credible to have Frodo already starting to feel its pull. Poor young Pearl just hasn't got a chance against it. :( Thanks for reading and I hope you can enjoy this piece as much as I have enjoyed yours! | |
| mechtild | Reviewed Chapter: 6 on 11/28/2006 |
| Wow, Ariel. That was a chapter worth waiting for! I feel as though you have woven it through with "flavours" of the larger Lord of the Rings, giving it extra resonance. Just a few notes will follow. I could talk more (of course), but will settle for just these. I loved the physical set-up of your into., all the back tunnel/secret back way/private stair details in the beginning, the transitional space between Bag End's interior and the tiny cave of Pearl's room. It worked for me as narrative, but it also appealed to my imagination, an appreciator of all scenes, in Tolkien and the tales of others, of winding ways dimly lit hinting vaguely at dangers unnamed (bodily or psychological). I loved the way you described how Pearl loved the inky, intimate, anonymous dark. I could empathize with Pearl's pleasure in it, yet I trembled for her, because its appeal linked her in my mind to the other hobbit who suffered unrequitedly for the lost object of his desire, Gollum/Smeagol under the Misty Mountains. I loved how you let us "feel" Lalia's presence with Pearl before you let her be seen. As she rolled into the light, squat and indomitable in the wooden chair - you even let Pearl compare her to a spider - and, yes, I was thinking of Shelob. But Pearl received no paralyzing jab in the neck, thank heaven, so your story will live to continue. Goody, goody! Nice work on Pearl's realisation that she loved the real Frodo (whom she had just left) better than the one she had imagined. You have made Pearl a heroine I can both feel for and root for -- someone to identify with emotionally, yet enjoy watching as she ventures forth in the tale as a person completely different from me. Huzzah! I have one writing note about a usage that snagged me out of the story for a moment, very tiny. (You know how I'm such a picky thing.) She had built a fortress on that memory and it had cradled her spirit for many years. Since you have compared her construct to a fortress, perhaps that memory could "protect" or "shelter" or "fortify" her spirit for many years? "Cradle" doesn't go with the image of "fortress" for me. ~ Mechtild Author Reply: You write the most delicious and satisfying reviews, you know. They are a full meal unto themselves - wholesome and nutritious, but no calories! Seriously, I could live off them! I am going to take your advice on that note of usage - I think you are right about it - it flows much better with a word like 'shelter' in there instead of cradle. Good call. I love that you saw the Gollum hints in this. It wasn't entirely intentional, but when I noticed that parallel, it made sense and so I embellished it a little. Pearl is being emotionally abused and, in a very real sense, so was Gollum. The ring is also linked to both, though only slightly in Pearl's case. I could definitely see the reaction to such long term mental battering to be returning to the place of the hobbit's ancestors' safety - the dark of the tunnels. I am so glad you can identify and sympathize with Pearl! I love writing strong, credible women because, quite frankly, there AREN'T a lot of them in fanfic! Novice writers often don't know how to avoid making Mary Sues, and then they get slapped back so hard for writing them that many never attempt to write a sympathetic female character again! Seriously, once you get the hang of it, it's no harder writing a sympathetic female than it is a sympathetic male… maybe even easier because we should, in theory, understand them better. *grin* Poor little Pearl is and has unfortunately been having a 7 year reality check– and her last shield of escapism is now shattered. I've imagined her hiding behind the duck targets at the carnival as they've been systematically shot down and now she's facing the rifle barrel. The next chapter and the one that follows will show some of what Pearl's had to deal with over the years… Lalia is one of those people who's not obviously cruel, but she squeezes people in intricate ways – forcing them to do her bidding by clever manipulation. She's formidable – and a challenge to write. I have to make her manipulative and ruthless, but not too petty or overtly cruel. She's a good businesswoman out to grow her 'company' no matter who she has to run over in the process. There I go, babbling… I am glad you like it and I hope you continue to. Please feel free to send up any other suggestions you may have. I am open to them and love to free-associate/bang plot points out with thoughtful readers like yourself. Thanks for the feedback! | |
| Grey Wonderer | Reviewed Chapter: 6 on 11/27/2006 |
| So, he has broken her heart and now she is under Lilia's thumb again. I wonder what she will do next? I also wonder if Frodo will make any effort at all to see her and see how she is. Pearl lives a very cold life at the moment. She has too much spirit for that to continue. I am still enjoying this and I am wondering exactly where it is all going now. Author Reply: Well, she certainly has too much spirit for it to continue - and when you squeeze a spirit like hers in too many ways, it lashes back... sometimes in ways that no one expects... But fret not - Frodo is not so heartless that he doesn't know something is very wrong with his cousin. The ring may be keeping him from considering her advances, but she's still kin and he's still Frodo. And since Bilbo's gone, someone has to stand up to Lalia. Muahahahaaaa! | |
| Grey Wonderer | Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 11/27/2006 |
| Must have missed out on this chapter while my internet was down. Interesting. Pearl never actually did say why she was there but Frodo assumed. I wonder if he was right or if it was something more? I liked the farmer and his concern that things be done 'proper'. Reminded me a bit of what Sam might have said had he been around when Pearl arrived. Still enjoying this one and on to read more. Author Reply: Well, because of the nature of their last real 'talk', he can sort of guess - and she does confirm his suspicions pretty clearly by her reaction. I actually thought him speaking outright and turning her down came out rather cold but when I took out the dialog, the scene seemed to work. At least I hoped it did. *grin* Pearl is now old enough and, maybe, wise enough not to misinterpret things so hugely anymore. Call this the last part of a very rude awakening. Poor Pearl... | |
| lovethosehobbits | Reviewed Chapter: 6 on 11/27/2006 |
| *sob* Poor Pearl! I love this fic even tho' I'm not usually into het, I started reading it because you always write a winner, and this is no exception. I am excited to see what you come up with next! *rubs hands together* Author Reply: LOL! Well, I'm not so sure this could be classified as 'het' but I'm glad you're reading. I've heard other people say they aren't into such fics as well, but I always find that a good story can make any genre enjoyable. As long as the premise is credible and the characters rich and the disbelief suspended, anything is possible. I'll try to keep all those balls in the air for the duration! | |
| Cuthalion | Reviewed Chapter: 6 on 11/27/2006 |
| At their cousin's eleventy-first birthday, she had drunk in the sight of his elegantly noble face, the soft, mahogany brown curls, and eyes so clear and bright in the sunlight, they shone as if they glowed, but last evening, his scent, native and intimate, had bound her heart as surely as that springtime kiss so long ago; tobacco and leather, books and something indefinable and mysterious. It lingered in her memory like a sweet and forbidden song. *smiles* Wonderful, Ariel. Poor Pearl - to long for someone who will never fulill her dreams! And Laila is truly frightening - brilliant characterization, though. A most interesting old dragon. Or should I say toad? Mona Author Reply: She's been a blast to write and I hope she will end up on the page as rich and fully developed as she is in my mind. Villians are such fun to write.... Muhahahaha! | |