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| Fallow by Ariel | 48 Review(s) |
|---|---|
| SurgicalSteel | Reviewed Chapter: 6 on 11/27/2006 |
| Oh, my, that was well done. I had a feeling, though, as Pearl was sneaking back in, that her way back in was too easy and that Lalia was going to be there waiting for her - sly old fox, that one is. Hard to face the reality of that first hearbreak, though, and harder when your heart's been broken by someone you've fantasized about for several *years.* Author Reply: Hard to face the reality of that first hearbreak, though, and harder when your heart's been broken by someone you've fantasized about for several *years.* Bingo. You just SO got where I was going with this. For this fic, I kind of looked at Frodo as Pearl's 'fandom', and to have the object of her desire be made real (like the movies were to many of us) only to realize that reality only went so far and she could never really have what she really desired. *sigh* Lalia is a really FUN character to write. I adore creating really good villians, you know, the kind that you love to hate but that you end up kind of liking them? I hope Lalia will come out to be that kind. She's not really cruel, just ruthless - and determined to get what she wants in any way possible. Muhahahaha... | |
| Lily | Reviewed Chapter: 6 on 11/27/2006 |
| I like what you did with this. Yes, this bit of added emotion was just what I was missing earlier. Nicely done! Author Reply: I am blessed to have exceptional betas for this story - even if you don't consider yourself one of them. I appreciate your feedback and use it, along with the excellent advice of my official beta for this story. I think it makes for a stronger tale when I do and that is my goal. So, yes, thank YOU! | |
| White Gull | Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 10/2/2006 |
| I was just rereading chapter four, and had to comment on something mentioned in passing...about the strange look the farmer gave Frodo when Frodo thanked him for helping to guard his cousin's virtue. I wonder why the strange look?! :) WG Author Reply: Did I ever answer this? Well, it's actually a hint that the farmer isn't so convinced of Mr. Baggins' propriety that he wouldn't gab about the event to his neighbors. Rumors of this visit have to reach Great Smials and I had to have some hint that the farmer would gossip! ;) | |
| Lily | Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 9/24/2006 |
| It's amazing what you did to this chapter. Especially the ending adds a lot to Frodo's character. Great job, dear! Author Reply: I am very glad you found it convincing. Now I have to make sure that the rest of the story is too! | |
| lovethosehobbits | Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 9/22/2006 |
| So sad the Fro' wouldn't listen to her problem and then discuss it with her, when it was so obviously tearing her apart. Knowing you, my dearest of friends, eventually he *will* speak with her again, but I feel sad for both of them for now. Well written and captivating, as usual. Can't wait for the next chapter. tree Author Reply: Well, you'll have to wait a teensy bit longer, I am afraid. I've been betaing like mad and actually *gasp* working! My demonstration sale is finally cut and I have been doing a lot of work trying to get it into shape to serve its purpose. Keep an eye on my LJ - I'm sure to have a big write up on it (with pictures). | |
| Mechtild | Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 9/20/2006 |
| More and more intriguing! I still didn't find out any more about Pearl, but believe me, I'm prepared to be patient! This was a splendid chapter for having a look at Frodo, settled and seemingly content as a bachelor, but almost priggish about it, as if jealously guarding it, even though he has only just come of age. Odd behaviour for Mr. Unconventional Baggins. The way you are working with the Ring is very leading. I had read in an old draft for LotR that Tolkien thought one of the signs of the Ring working on Bilbo was restlessness, an inability to settle down to anything, including his life in the Shire, as time went on. It's almost as if Frodo has already grown restless - but unable to settle down to *himself* -- or to whatever may be his real wants or satistfactions in life. I very much appreciated your little moment of self-revelation when Frodo allowed himself to admit that in the case of Pearl, it was he that she wanted, not marriage. Perhaps he has forgotten that anyone could want him for himself, rather than for what he can offer (in a worldly way). Well, life will teach him a few things, I am betting (and hoping). I look forward to the next chapter! Author Reply: Odd behaviour for Mr. Unconventional Baggins. You know, I don't think it is, not for book Frodo, at least. Tolkien said one of the most unconventional things about both Bilbo and Frodo was their bachelorhood, and both keep the Ring. I don't think it too far fetched to believe It had something to do with that aspect of their lives. It's almost as if Frodo has already grown restless - but unable to settle down to *himself* -- or to whatever may be his real wants or satistfactions in life. Indeed, though at first he is lulled into the illusion that he is contented 'being THE Mr. Baggins of Bag End'. The Ring is courting him at that point, cementing its solitary hold on him while he remains oblivious of it's effect. Well, oblivious save for wondering why he doesn't even want to consider Pearl. Even then, if it weren't for her forward behavior in this chapter, he might not even have wondered about his current lack of interest. The Ring's influence has to remain subtle enough through these 17 years for Frodo to not have 'really' recognized it, but there have to 'hints' both for the reader and to cause Frodo's increasing restlessness. Remember the strange things Bilbo reported It doing? But even he never attributed those things to the Ring. I somehow doubt Frodo would either, at least not until Gandalf's visit in the spring of 1418. Perhaps he has forgotten that anyone could want him for himself, rather than for what he can offer (in a worldly way). I am afraid 'Frodo as the sought after bachelor' is my own invention entirely, but considering his generally accepted appearance, how could it be otherwise? hehheeh. People who are highly sought after do sometimes forget that someone can like them for themselves (or so I have heard). Thankfully, he does learn otherwise, as the good Professor shows us. :) Author Reply: Odd behaviour for Mr. Unconventional Baggins. You know, I don't think it is, not for book Frodo, at least. Tolkien said one of the most unconventional things about both Bilbo and Frodo was their bachelorhood, and both keep the Ring. I don't think it too far fetched to believe It had something to do with that aspect of their lives. It's almost as if Frodo has already grown restless - but unable to settle down to *himself* -- or to whatever may be his real wants or satistfactions in life. Indeed, though at first he is lulled into the illusion that he is contented 'being THE Mr. Baggins of Bag End'. The Ring is courting him at that point, cementing its solitary hold on him while he remains oblivious of its effect. Well, oblivious save for wondering why he doesn't even want to consider Pearl. Even then, if it weren't for her forward behavior in this chapter, he might not even have wondered about his current lack of interest. The Ring's influence has to remain subtle enough through these 17 years for Frodo to not have 'really' recognized it, but there have to 'hints' both for the reader and to cause Frodo's increasing restlessness. Remember the strange things Bilbo reported It doing? But even he never attributed those things to the Ring. I somehow doubt Frodo would either, at least not until Gandalf's visit in the spring of 1418. Perhaps he has forgotten that anyone could want him for himself, rather than for what he can offer (in a worldly way). I am afraid 'Frodo as the sought after bachelor' is my own invention entirely, but considering his generally accepted appearance, how could it be otherwise? hehheeh. People who are highly sought after do sometimes forget that someone can like them for themselves (or so I have heard). Thankfully, he does learn otherwise, as the good Professor shows us. :) | |
| Mechtild | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 9/19/2006 |
| You did a wonderful job portraying Frodo's mix of complacent self-confidence, able to behave himself a nearly-undressed beautiful 'tween who is suddenly all over him, yet unable to admit his own desires, desires which have been called forth since he saw her climbing the tree in her underclothes. You have shown him a principled person, but perhaps too proud of it. That he should dissemble to himself ("I'm just doing this to teach her a good lesson"!)about his own weakening resolve is highly plausible and most...human. I am intrigued by Pearl, though. So suddenly enamoured! From tomboy to lover in so many paragraphs. Is she really so volatile, or is this part of some larger design in the fic? If she really were an unaffected, guileless twenty-year-old hobbit-lass, she could *not* have led Frodo to this place already knowing she wanted him. If she had already wanted him, taking off her clothes and climbing a tree above him wearing her shift would be an act of seduction. I am betting this is not the Pearl you are portraying. She really is the wild, heedless girl she seems, but who very suddenly went from ignorance to full-blown, purposeful desire in a brief exchange. I would love to hear about this transformation from her point of view. Looking forward to the next chapter! Author Reply: *blush* Well, I am drawing from my own experiences here. I was MOST volatile at 14 - swinging from one extreme to the other in a mad rush of unfamiliar emotions I had no idea how to control. Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately), dealing with Lalia will make Pearl much more careful and cautious of other people. When the only one you can trust is yourself, you learn to control yourself or else. :( | |
| Mechtild | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 9/19/2006 |
| You're doing a really nice job with establishing Pearl as a bit of a wild thing; she seems tamed only by her desire for her beloved father's good opinion of her. This seems very true-to-life for a few children I have known. Your establishment of place has been splendid from chapter one, but this section treated me to a look at the rest of the scenery at the foot of the Green Hill country. I have loved my hike (run?) through it, following Frodo following Pearl. Your Frodo is very easy to imagine from his book self, although we haven't seen much of his humour yet. But duty visits and being run ragged by a taciturn 'tween are not much inducement to witty remarks and general cheer. Pearl really is most undomesticated, pulling her clothes off in front of a lad who must seem nearly a grown-up in comparison. She's a new adolescent; he's an established Older Lad (he even seems to think he's pretty grown-up, Mr. Bachelor-of-the-month and all, no?). I like so well the picture of her climbing heedless through the tree in her underclothes. Frodo, unable to decide if he is piqued or amused by her antics, makes me wonder. He sees her attractions, but seems concerned more for propriety, worried about what might be the consequences of this sort of behaviour, should she treat other lads to it. I am guessing Pearl's guileless charms will win him over. Author Reply: *Makes mental note to remember his humor...* Pearl IS most undomesticated - almost militantly so. She is at a very rebellious stage in her life (about 14 in human years), fighting against being subjugated to a society that she doesn't easily fit in to, and against a mother who is trying to force her to fit. She will grow up and into a better relationship with her family, but at this stage, though she hears more of what they tell her than she'd like to admit, she's going to do things her way no matter what. | |
| Mechtild | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 9/19/2006 |
| This was a splendid opening chapter, Ariel. Your story-telling skills have never been better. I was brought in immediately into a world completely Tolkien-like, yet concerning a part of the Shire I never have visited in canon. You intrigue me about Lalia. Will she be the 100% bad'un she sounds in "Letters", or will we learn more about her, that she's got a good side in there somewhere, or, at least, how she became such a curmudgeon? If she really is that wicked a person, I fear for Pearl. All of the characters you have created seem just right: Paladin, Eglantine, your Bilbo. Pearl is just spoken about, but you have made us ready for her entrance. You are letting Frodo hang back, which is good for me. I am such a Frodo-gawper, if he were heavily featured in the opening chapter, I might have missed half of this great stuff! Author Reply: Well, I don't want to make Lalia all bad - how dull - but I intend to make her credible and make her actions defensible from her POV, but chilling from ours. She's a powerful woman who is growing older and her son has no heirs. She is needs to find an heir (preferably of HER blood) to pass on her power to, but she is running out of time. LOL! I'm a bit of a Frodo fancier myself, as you know. ;) I have written so many chapters from his POV because I like him and because I want build up anticipation for the chapters from Pearl's POV. I think, from your other responses, I have managed that! | |
| Mechtild | Reviewed Chapter: Prologue on 9/19/2006 |
| Wonderfully mouthwatering intro., Ariel. I love reading that letter, sort of like a really juicy "tell-all" about life in Hollywood, except it's life in the Shire. Very much looking forward to your story! Author Reply: I sincerely hope I don't disappoint. I've taken chances with fic before, but this one feels more 'dicey' to me. It's such a complex plotline, fluid and interwoven, that I keep feeling like I have bit off more than I can chew! Hopefully with your unfallable guidance, I can keep the thing on track! Thank you for another of your wonderful reviews. | |