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Reflections from the Paradise of Elves  by Bodkin 13 Review(s)
LarnerReviewed Chapter: 71 on 9/7/2005
Oh, this is indeed priceless! As you can see, I found it at last. Oh, how hilarious!

And of course Gimli would teach Legolas enough so as not to embarrass or unwittingly demean himself.

Author Reply: He would, wouldn't he! Just enough. There remained enough dwarf in him not to want to let the elf in on the secret knowledge that was only open to dwarves. But he could be quite protective of his elf.

I'm glad you enjoyed it!

pipinheartReviewed Chapter: 71 on 9/7/2005

Ah, this is amuzing... If only they had known what they were saying...Good job

Author Reply: Thank you - I'm glad you enjoyed it. It's a good thing they didn't find out while they were young and headstrong and the dwarves who taught them the phrases were still around!

elliskaReviewed Chapter: 71 on 9/5/2005
Oh! ROTFL!! This was the last story I read as I was catching up this evening and I thought I would split my side laughing! I soooo needed this. I think I'll go back and read it again right now. This was absolutely hilarious! Thanks so much!

Author Reply: I'm so glad it managed to amuse you. I'm feeling rather sorry for E2 as the information sinks in and they begin to wonder how many people know of their - erm - mistakes. Perhaps elven memory is not to be envied at the moment.

Thank you.

The KarenatorReviewed Chapter: 71 on 9/3/2005
How funny! This is exactly why I'd never trust anyone to teach me to curse in a language I don't speak or understand. I'm dying laughing. Just like Legolas.

These guys are just cruising for a bruising. Yeah, buddy, we love to clean up after a bunch of rooting piglets. We also love to spit shine your boots. And we know where to put them!

This chapter was really cute. I enjoyed it and needed a good laugh. Thanks.


Author Reply: Come to think of it, I've heard of many examples where people think they've been taught to say 'it's so pleasant to meet you', or something equally innocuous, only to find that they've actually been taught something quite different. E2 must have been feeling very superior (and unsuspicious) when they were taught these expressions. And, of course, since they're sure they're cussing, they don't repeat them in front of anyone who could tell them different! They just hope Legolas keeps the matter to himself!

Typical males. Their idea of tidy is one heap. But, although they know that their wives and mothers just love looking after them, they are too tactful (just about) to put it in words. But they can do puppy-dog eyes just fine. They would have a PhD in it - if elves had PhDs.

Thank you. This one was great fun to do!

lwarrenReviewed Chapter: 71 on 9/3/2005
Wonderfully funny, as usual, Bodkin! I can just see Elladan stomping around in a fit of temper, muttering these impressively gutteral, vicious-sounding syllables...that all the while proclaim him a lap-dog to a dwarf maiden! Oh, the embarrassment of it all!! :-) No wonder Legolas gave him some strange looks! Terrific - and welcome - fun at a dark time! (I hope I can go back and catch up on reviewing all your other great stories - I was really sick from mid-July on...and school has started up again! Can you believe it?)


Author Reply: It always seems terribly unjust to be ill during vacation time. You need a break from killer squirrels when you're in a condition to enjoy it! Otherwise you get back to them without the strength to resist their chittering.

I can imagine that Elladan's - er - language skills would have entertained any passing dwarf enormously. And Khuzdul seems to be the kind of language (like German) where even pleasant expressions could sound like cussing.

I wonder if Legolas will use this knowledge - or whether Elladan will just fear that he might! Could be interesting.

I hope you are feeling better - and that you have a delightful class of little cherubs this year.

LeawardReviewed Chapter: 71 on 9/2/2005
LMAO, the dwarves got their own back! Wonderful, Bodkin. I like that they'd been spending all those thousand years thinking they were so clever when they were really were insulting themselves! Absolutely inspired!

Author Reply: Under-rated, those dwarves! And aware that the very best jokes are the private ones. Elladan will never feel the same about his delightfully satisfying collection of foreign curses. After all, who knows what the Rohirrim might have taught them . . . .

Thank you!

perellethReviewed Chapter: 71 on 9/2/2005
;-) You know that I drop in and out of this very long series because it is almost impossible to me by now to catch up with all of them.. but I'm glad I picked this one up.. it was funny. I can picture Elladan's embarrassment! That was evil!

Author Reply: It is getting ridiculously long . . . but at least each one is quite short! I'm glad you liked this one. It made my toes curl with enjoyment as I wrote it. I think poor Elladan will be in doubt about trusting anyone for a while - until he shrugs off the experience. Thank you!

NilmandraReviewed Chapter: 71 on 9/1/2005
ROFLOL! Thanks for the laugh, Bodkin. We all needed it.

I hear my Celebrian laughing very loudly...that time among dwarves in Eregion means she has enjoyed this vision of Legolas's for some time! (well, in my world anyway! Hehehehe).

Author Reply: Thank you - this was fun to do.

Elladan and Elrohir are gentle-elves. They have been brought up not to swear in the presence of ladies - and especially not their naneth! So they wouldn't know whether their naneth knows of their embarrassment. They hope not!

But, of course, you should never underestimate the power of Celebrian Celeborniel. And neither should they . . . .

RedheredhReviewed Chapter: 71 on 9/1/2005
ROFLMAO! Now, that is just retribution for thinking the ellyth enjoy cleaning up after them. ;)

German is always good in that way too!

Author Reply: A very male attitude. Of all species, I suspect. I'm having visions of female dwarves casting up their eyes and brushing the ashes from the smithies. Enjoy it - no. Do it better - usually. But retribution is always good!

German is a very good language that way. You can make Apfeltorte mit Schlagsahne sound really vicious. And I always used the phrase Chateauneuf-du-Pape as an expressive substitute for inappropriate language. That works well, too. We went there once - miles out of our way - just so I could see the place whose name I had been taking in vain.

Jay of LasgalenReviewed Chapter: 71 on 9/1/2005
Well, he can be my lapdog!!

I've always thought Dwarvish would be an excellent language to swear in - and I'm not at all surprised that the twins used it.

I love the twist that they were teaching the Dwarves false phrases - and the Dwarves were doing the same!

Thanks, Bodkin for a laugh at the end of a long day at work.


Author Reply: OK. But I don't think he'd make a very good lapdog. Although there is something puppyish about Elladan in some ways. I think he has a hopeful attitude. (He's more of a gundog, though.) Dwarvish must be one of those languages where even endearments sounds like challenges to battle - very good for cussing.

I think the Dwarves would enjoy knowing things that no-one thought they knew - and relish the secret tit-for-tat.

Glad you enjoyed it.

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