Chapter Ten

After the death of Marmadas, there was only one person, in the world Linwe felt she could turn to, and that was Merenwen. Without being aware of it, Linwe started calling out for Merenwen, from the very depth of her soul. Merenwen heard.

Not long after Marmadas passed away, Linwe set out at dawn for one of her long walks. A blush of bright green was just starting to tint the winter landscape. Linwe came to a little babbling brook where she often liked to sit. Settling herself at the foot of an ancient oak tree, she was quickly lost in thought so much so that she did not see the tall graceful figure that came and stood but a short distance away. The figure stood silently for a few moments, then the silence was broken with the language of elves. "Linwe Taralom, what weighs so heavy on your heart and mind? Linwe turned to the voice and her eyes lit up in joy, in an instant she was running into Merenwen’s out stretched arms. The two stood together for a long moment. Then Merenwen pulled back and looked into Linwe’s eyes. Linwe’s face was now tearstained and her nose was a bit red, more tears were ready to spill out of her eyes at any moment. "How I have missed you!" exclaimed Merenwen

"How did you find me here?" asked Linwe, still hardly believing that Merenwen was there before her.

Merenwen smiled tenderly, "You are wearing the necklace I gave your mother while she was pregnant with you. It has some magical powers of its own, one of them being that I can sense the location of the one who wears it."

"Why couldn’t it have led you here earlier, when Mother was still wearing it. She is gone now, Mother got so very sick and you could have saved her. Then Father died from a broken heart a month later. Where were you? Why didn’t you come? The needed you!" Linwe cried hysterically.

Merenwen pulled Linwe close and held her tightly. Silent tears slipped down the pale smooth skin of Merenwen’s cheeks. "I’m so sorry that I could not come earlier, my dearest. I wanted to."

Linwe pushed herself away from Merenwen and with anger burning in her eyes demanded, "Then why didn’t you?"

Merenwen turned her gaze a way from Linwe and looked out through an opening in the trees to the rolling hills of the Shire. She took several deep breaths and said, "I knew from the necklace that Lila was ill. I also knew there was nothing I could do for her and I had duties to perform else where."

"But you could have done something. You didn’t even try." Protested Linwe.

"I did try. I have been trying since that day I found your mother in the woods, weeping for another child she had not been able to carry to term. I did all that I could for her and she became stronger and she was even able to have you. After that I continued my efforts to insure that she would live to see you grow up.

"You need to understand that your mother’s lungs were greatly weakened when she suffered that fever as a child. If I had not found her that day in the woods, she would likely have died within the next few years. Her body ruined from one failed attempt after another to have a child of her own, and her heart broken a bit more from every attempt. Linwe, the last time I saw your mother, I knew she was not likely to live through another winter. Lila was my friend and I wanted to be there with her when she took her last breath. I wanted to be there for you and for Marmadas, but I couldn’t and I am sorry."

Linwe collapsed into Merenwen’s arms and cried. "I have been so lonely without you. So much has happened and I had no one to talk to."

"I know my little one, but I am here now. Tell me all that has happened."

Linwe took several deep breaths and tried to calm herself. "I hardly know where to begin."

"How about you start with telling me why you all left Bree, and go on from there." Suggested Merenwen.

Linwe told Merenwen everything the reasoning for her family deciding to move, the unusual events in Bree that led to her father choosing to leave Bree a few days early. Her mysterious illness that she could remember nothing of. Lila’s declining health. Her own supposed relapse. Lila’s death followed soon by Marmadas’ death. When Linwe was finished speaking, Merenwen asked "Are you sure you remember nothing of your own illnesses?"

Linwe did not say anything for awhile, she looked into the distance without really seeing, finally she spoke. "I do remember a little, but I do not understand what I remember. It’s like I have memories but I know they are not my memories. They are memories of things that have not happened to me. And it’s all broken and jumbled." Linwe sighed "At first it was too frightening to talk about. Then I just felt I couldn’t trouble Mother and Father with what I could remember. First Mother was sick and Father was worried for her. Then Mother was gone and Father had given up."

"So you have been struggling with all of this on your own?"

"Yes. Merenwen, I am so frightened. I keep having images of this ghostly figure stabbing me with a blade of some kind. But at the same time I don’t think it was me. I have this mark on my chest, that is more like a scar, but how could this specter have wounded me? I was in my room that night, warm and safe, or so I thought. But then I felt as though I was out doors, and it was cold and damp. I remember feeling frightened and feeling like someone who made me feel safe was missing."

"Is that all you have seen? Was it only while you were ill that you have felt all of this?" asked Merenwen.

"No, since then my dreams are haunted by reminders of that night, with the specters all around me. I wake up from the dreams with the scar on my chest hurting. And during the day I seem to just blank out more and more. I remember only vague images from these times. A sense of traveling in strange places, needing to go somewhere that I do not want to go to. There is a weight about my neck, it feels so very heavy at times, like a large stone. I hear whispering, I do not know what is being said but it feels evil." Linwe paused here trying to make more sense of her thoughts. "When I had me relapse I remember images of darkness and fire, feelings of horror, despair, and a sense of great loss. I wish it would all go away." Sighed Linwe sadly.

Merenwen took a deep breath then said, "Linwe, do you recall my telling you that Elves have a gift for seeing different places and different times?"

"Yes"

"Linwe, I think you have this gift."

"But Hobbits don’t do that." Protested Linwe in disbelief.

"But my dear, you are not an average Hobbit. Your very life has its start with the aid of Elvish lore. It is possible that what I did to insure your birth may have worked a little to well, and you have been instilled with some distinctly Elvish qualities."

"Then can you help me make sense of what it is I am seeing?" asked Linwe feeling a measure of hope.

"I am afraid I can’t, Little One. Understanding starts with the one having the vision, being at least somewhat familiar with what they are seeing. You seem to be seeing places you have never been. But don’t lose heart" said Merenwen at the sight of Linwe’s crestfallen face. "It could be that in time there will be some event that makes it all fall into place. Or perhaps the visions will simply stop occurring, and as time goes by you will not be bothered by the memory of them so much."

I hope this all ends soon, Merenwen, I do not think I can endure much more of this, not after losing Mummy and Papa. Were it not for you I would feel very much alone. How long can you stay?"

"That I have not yet decided."

"Merenwen, when you go back to Rivendell, do you think I might go with you? I have no one else here, no one I feel close to. I feel there is nothing for me here so I should like to leave with you. I would like to roam the wilderness with you, and see Rivendell." Linwe’s eyes were filled with hope for this plan.

"I don’t know if that would be possible. I told you and your parents, when l I last visited, that the time of the Elves in Middle Earth is drawing to a close. Many of my kin have already left. One day I too shall leave, then where will you be? Should I leave you then, all alone in Rivendell?"

"I don’t think I could feel anymore alone in empty Rivendell, than I do here. But maybe I could go with you to the Undying lands."

"I wish you could, but your place is here with your own people, not with Elves."

"But I have no one here!" Exclaimed Linwe, standing up, tears spilling down her cheeks. "My world was Mother, Father and you! Now I have lost Mother and Father, soon I shall lose you and I will be left without friends or family!" With that Linwe fell back to the ground, pulling her knees to her chest, she buried her face in her skirts and sobbed.

Merenwen moved to Linwe’s side and wrapped her arms around this Hobbit she held so dear, then speaking in Elvish said "Be at peace, Linwe Taralom, all will be well in the end."

~~~~~

The following morning Linwe rose early to go and meet Merenwen by the brook. Linwe had wanted to stay the night with Merenwen, but Merenwen insisted that it would be better if Linwe went back to Brandy Hall. If Linwe stayed, she would only cause Esmeralda and Saradoc to worry, and Merenwen did not wish for anyone to know that she was there. Linwe went back to the hall with the promise of meeting Merenwen the next morning.

It was a bright clear morning that looked to be the beginning to a pleasantly warm day. Esmeralda had packed Linwe a picnic large enough for two or three Hobbits. Saradoc stood by warning her as he did every day before she set out, to be watchful, there were big folk roaming the Shire doing harm where they could. Caught up in her own thoughts, Linwe failed to notice the way Esmeralda and Saradoc treated her more as a beloved daughter than a guest.

Merenwen was waiting when Linwe arrived at the tree. Upon seeing her, Linwe ran the last few yards and into Merenwen’s arms. "Oh Merenwen! I woke this morning fearful that yesterday was nothing but a dream."

"I assure you I am no dream, speaking of which, did you sleep well?"

"Yes, I am afraid the shadows lurked as they always do, but for the most part I slept well."

"I am glad to hear it." Now spotting Linwe’s pack Merenwen asked, "What is that you have brought with you?"

"Oh! Esmeralda made me bring this; it is more food than I eat in a week, so you must help me eat this. We can have a picnic and talk and just be together for all of the day. I must warn you though, Saradoc gave me stern warning to be back at Brandy Hall, well before dark."

"I will see that you do."

Merenwen and Linwe did as planned, they ate and they talked. The discussed a variety of things, some important and some not so important. Early in the afternoon, Linwe yawned a great yawn. "Linwe, dear, you look as though you could use a bit of rest. Why don’t you lean against me and I will sing to you as I did when you were a child."

"All right, Merenwen, that does sound nice."

With Merenwen leaning back against the tree and Linwe leaning against Merenwen, Linwe was soon asleep, with the sound of Merenwen’s voice filling her ears and dreams. For the first time in months, Linwe’s dreams were filled with light rather than looming shadow.

It was late in the afternoon when Linwe finally awoke. As Linwe reluctantly opened her eyes, she said "If only I could keep sleeping and stay in such peaceful dreams."

"I take it you rested well?" said Merenwen with a smile.

"Yes I did. I think your songs held the darkness at bay."

"And now, do you feel any shadows?"

"I am afraid so. Though I feel stronger and better able to deal with them."

"Well that is something then." Said Merenwen.

Linwe looked about her. "It’s late in the day. I think I will go to the brook and wash up before heading back to Brandy Hall." With that Linwe rose up and walked over to the brook. There she washed her hands and then soaking her handkerchief in the water she washed her face, taking pleasure in the way the icy water made her skin tingle.

As Linwe was washing up, Merenwen came and stood close by, taking in the early spring beauty of the Shire. Inhaling the fragrances of spring, Merenwen said, "This is a lovely, peaceful place. I think I will enjoy my visit here very much. Perhaps tomorrow you and I can take a long walk, so that I may see more of it."

"I think I would like that." Said Linwe, coming to stand next to Merenwen "I guess it’s time I gather my things and return to Brandy Hall. Are you sure that you are going to be all right out here? Is there anything I can get you to help you pass the night more comfortably?"

"I am, and will be, just fine, thank you."

"I wish you would come to Brandy Hall with me. There are entrances hardly anyone uses, we could sneak you in, no one would be the wiser."

"I appreciate the thought, Linwe, but I am quite content with what I have. Now, it is time for you to return. Esmeralda and Saradoc must be starting to worry."

"Perhaps so," said Linwe, turning and walking towards the tree and retrieving her now much lighter pack. Linwe rested the straps of the pack on her shoulders, then turned to Merenwen, "Will you walk with me at least to the edge of the grove to where the path starts?"

"I would be happy to." Said Merenwen and the two started walking in companionable silence. About half way across the short distance, Linwe stumbled. Merenwen reached out and took hold of Linwe, just barely able to keep her from falling. "Are you all right?" asked Merenwen.

Linwe shook her head a bit. "Yes, at least I think… Oh!" Linwe started to sway on her feet. Merenwen could see that Linwe’s eyes were wide but they did not seem to be seeing what was in front of her now.

Merenwen dropped to her knees and took Linwe’s face in her hands, then in Elvish demanded "Linwe Taralom, what is it? What do you see?"

"Too many eyes… too fast… can’t get away…SAM!" Linwe’s eyes rolled back in her head and she collapsed into Merenwen’s arms.