Sometimes a Scream

Let me be the one

Leading you through the night

Sharing the smiles and tears you cry

Let me be the one

Lovin' you when you're weak

For all of the strength you need

You can come to me.

(Let me be the one - Plus One)

Legolas stared at the ceiling in his room. Or the twins had dubbed it his room, since he came here to Rivendell so often. He thought over Aragorn's words.

"Let me be the one."

He smiled remembering Aragorn's earnest face, pleading, begging. He turned the words over in his mind, thinking on what his friend really meant.

"Let me be the one."

Legolas sighed; he had only left a few people in his personal life. Only a few knew the past hurts he had suffered. Only a few knew how much his naneth leaving for the Valinor had hurt him. There were only a few who knew him, for him. And Aragorn wanted to be one of them.

Ignoring Elrond's earlier warning not to move, he pushed himself upright against the bed board. It was easier to think upright instead of lying down.

"Let me be the one."

He didn't say let me be one of the ones. He said let me be the one. The only one. Legolas suddenly had a flash of insight. Aragorn didn't want to be just his friend; he wanted to be his best friend. Like a brother, only closer. He suddenly remembered something his ada had told him once.

"There is a friend who will stick closer than a brother."

Legolas smiled. Aragorn wanted to share his hurts, his pains, his fears, his happiness, and his sadness. Legolas had only one other person who had ever done that. And she had just left for the Valinor.

He closed his eyes as the words echoed in his mind.

"Let me be the one. There is a friend who will stick closer than a brother. Let me be the one. There is a friend. Let me be the one. Who will stick closer than a brother. Let me be your friend. Let me be your brother."

The phrases jumbled in his mind and finally settled on one phrase, combined with both.

"Let me be your friend who is closer than a brother."

*~*~*~*

Aragorn yawned. It was late, but yet he still couldn't go to sleep. He toyed with his food. Hungry yet not. He thought about his words that he had spoken to Legolas.

"Let me be the one."

He felt so frustrated. True, Legolas was his best friend, but the fact that he closed himself off where any pain or personal hurt was, frankly annoyed the young ranger. He knew that elves could die of grief, he had never seen it happen and quite frankly he didn't want to.

"Even an elf has to open up sometime." He muttered under his breath.

But he didn't. His conscience pricked. He sighed. He wondered if Legolas had ever been that completely open to anyone, besides his own family. Yet Aragorn had a vague sense that Legolas shut himself off from them as well.
His fingers lightly traced the rim of his wine glass. Lost in thought, he didn't see Elladan reach across him to get a bread roll.

Elladan frowned at his little brother. He had not eaten a single bite. Not that Elladan was worried, he knew what bothered Aragorn, and knew it was enough for him not to eat. He would eventually. Even if he and Elrohir had to force it down his mouth.

A grin crossed his face as he pictured it. The picture was rudely broken when Elrohir shoved an elbow into his ribcage. He glared at his twin. Who grinned right back. Elladan rolled his eyes and turned them to Aragorn and then up the stairs and then back to his twin. Elrohir nodded understanding completely. He turned.

"Ada? May we take some food up to Legolas?"

Elrond turned at the request. He gave a long look at his three sons, one of whom was completely wallowing in self-pity. His eyes flickered to his twin sons. Both wore an expression that were slightly too innocent. He pondered the request. Each knew that a servant usually took up food. So why the request? His gaze settled back on his youngest son. He had taken his hand off of the glass and continued to push his food around. He smiled and nodded, giving his consent.

Immediately the twins got up and pulled a confused Aragorn with them. Elrond smiled, he would hate to be Legolas at this point in time.

Legolas' keen hearing caught the sounds of the light laughter of the twins and the heavier steps of Aragorn. He frowned, what were they up to now? He quickly maneuvered himself so that he was once more lying down. And grinned to himself, despite the depressed mood he had gotten himself into. No matter what the situation, the twins could always bring a smile to a face.

The door burst open and the twins and Aragorn shoved each other in. One was carrying a plate and silverware, another was carrying a water jug and the other was carrying a loaf of bread, cheese and several cut pieces of meat.

Legolas groaned inwardly. He didn't feel at all like eating but he knew that he wouldn't really have much of a choice. He sighed and waited for the inevitable.

"Hey Legolas! We brought you something to eat."

"Not hungry."

His words were ignored, and he was unceremoniously yanked upright and the food put on his lap and the glass of wine pushed in his hand.

He grimaced, drinking or eating was the last thing he wanted to do. His stomach, he had learned did not like food in it after being drugged. His companions ignored him and sprawled about the room. They were waiting for him to eat, it was too obvious. He glared at the occupants then set the glass on the desk next to the bed and then set the food on the desk.

"I am not hungry."

The occupants exchanged amused glances. Elladan stood up from the chair he had sprawled into. Legolas stopped him with a glare that would have frozen a Nazgul in its tracks.

The other two occupants grinned at each other until Legolas turned his glare on them. Aragorn sighed.

"Look, Legolas, we're just trying to help you."

"I know." The reply was also a sigh.

Legolas softened his glare, "I'm sorry." The words were barely a whisper. "I." He hesitated as he struggled to get the words out, he so desperately need to. "I'm just tired of being scared."

Immediately Elladan, Elrohir and Aragorn surrounded him. He didn't look at any of them, slightly shamed at admitting his own weakness. A hand tilted his chin up. And he stared into the brown eyes of Aragorn.

"Fear is a courage that hides itself behind false pretenses."

Elladan raised an eyebrow. "Explanation?" He asked bemused.

"When I was a little boy, I was terrified of the darkness. And one time after ada had let me sleep with him, I asked him why I was so afraid of the darkness, and if I was weak because I was afraid." Aragorn's brow furrowed in remembrance. "He said that it was ok to be afraid of the dark and that no I wasn't weak. He said fear isn't really fear. Fear is fear in itself. Being afraid of something doesn't mean we are weak." He stumbled to a halt at the confused faces before him.

He sighed. "What I am trying to say is. Well, I don't really know what I am trying to say actually." He laughed.

Elladan frowned and shoved Aragorn off the bed. "A lot of help you are, Estel." He laughed.

"What do you need help with. What can we help you with?" The quiet words were spoken with a passion and a plea.

Legolas bit his lip, and then his face crumpled. "It's all my fault." As tears began to flow from his blue-gray eyes. "If I had left as soon as they didn't get there.."

"You and the rest of your patrol would have gotten killed as well." Elrohir interrupted.

"I COULD HAVE STOPPED IT!" Legolas yelled at them. "I SHOULD HAVE STOPPED IT! BUT NO!! I WAS TOO LATE AND JAEOL DIED IN MY ARMS BECAUSE OF IT!!!!!!

They looked at Legolas in shock. That particular detail had not been told to them.

"YOU KNOW WHAT HE SAID?" Legolas continued to vent. "He said, "you came."

The last words were spoken in a whisper.

"I came to late, and he died." Legolas choked back the sobs. "He died because I was too late. He died because I was too late. I was too late."

Elladan quickly wrapped his arms around the sobbing prince, mindful of his leg and arm, and let him cry into his shoulder.

"Shhhh." He whispered, gently rocking the prince back and forth, he whispered comforts into his ear as he would an elfling after a bad dream.

How Elladan wished it had all been just a bad dream for his friend. His heart ached at the unfairness of it all. His heart ached at the pain that Jaeol had unknowingly placed on the young prince.

"It's not your fault Legolas, it's not your fault that they died."

"But I was the one who was in charge of patrol. I was the one who sent Jaeol off; I was the one who sent the other patrol as well. It was me. Me."

Elladan continued to rock the grieving prince in his arms, wanting to say something to comfort him, yet not knowing what to say.

"They died in agony, because I sent them."

"Shhhh, Legolas. It is not your fault. They died honorably, fighting for Mirkwood. They fought bravely, probably knowing that they would die. They fought for Mirkwood in hopes that Mirkwood would once more be cleansed of its shadow."

"But I sent them to their deaths!"

"Did you know you were? Did you know that they would all die? NO! You didn't! It is not anyone fault except for Sauron. He is the one to blame. Those warriors died doing what they were supposed to be doing. They died defending Mirkwood. You shouldn't feel as though it is your fault, because it isn't."

As he pulled away, Legolas took several gasping breaths, desperate to put air back in his air-starved lungs. The tears still came, as images of his friends, his companions, and his brother in arms came to mind. Of their blood on his hands, on his clothes, everywhere. The air refused to come into his lungs. He could see the sudden panicked expressions on the faces of his three friends. Ignoring the pain he quickly rolled on his back, all too familiar with what needed to be done. He gestured toward his back making a rubbing motion. Elladan quickly caught on and began rubbing his back.

After several minutes Legolas' breath was slowly regained. All he could hear was the sound of his own heavy breathing and the sound of cloth rubbing against itself. After a few more minutes he slowly turned over and sat up.

"Thank you Elladan." The attempt at a smile was a bit trembled, but a smile still.

"What just happened Legolas?"

Legolas sighed. Was everything in his life open to prying eyes? He shoved the thought away.

"I was born a couple months pre-maturely, and my lungs did not completely form when I was born, so every so often I can't get air in my lungs and someone has to rub my back for me to be able to breath." He waved an unconcerned hand in the air. "Happens."

He looked at the incredulous expressions of the faces of Elladan, Elrohir and Aragorn, and winced. Not because of wounded pride, but because Elrohir had just sat on his bandaged leg. And it hurt. Really hurt. He quickly grabbed a pillow pressed it to his face and screamed.

Instantly Aragorn yanked his brother off of Legolas leg, while Elladan ripped the covers off of the pain-racked prince and gently unwrapped his leg to get a better look. The leg, already swollen was completely red. And almost three times the size it should have been. Elladan shook his head, it had been a couple of days since Legolas had been placed in this bed and he would have expected the normal fast healing elf to heal, but it was not the case.

"Estel, go get Ada, tell him that Legolas' leg is very swollen." He turned his attention to the prince, who still had the pillow pressed against his face.

"Legolas?" He questioned softly, slightly worried not only with the leg but also with the shaking hands the pressed the pillow.

Legolas slowly dropped the pillow and Elladan stared shocked at the completely white face. He glanced at the guilt-faced Elrohir.

"That really hurt Elrohir." The words were a mere whisper. Legolas gripped Elrohir's hand tightly and he shut his eyes, desperate to not let the pain get the best of him. He had only fainted once and he did not intend to faint, especially with two of the biggest teasers in Rivendell. If he did he would never hear the last of it.

Aragorn burst through the door dragging his father behind him. Elrond looked at the panicked Elladan, the guilty expression on Elrohir and the white face of Legolas before he started his work. He instructed Aragorn to get a basin of water, Elrohir to get some herbs and told Elladan get on the other side to help him.

Once Aragorn had burst back in the room carrying a large basin of water and Elrohir came back with the requested herbs Elrond and Elladan set to work gently sponged Legolas' leg.

"Why hasn't Legolas' leg healed ada?" Aragorn questioned softly.

Elrond glanced at the white face of Legolas. "He is grieving, and that has slowed his healing ability down, but I did not realize it was this bad." The last words were directed toward Legolas with a faint hint of a gently rebuke.

Legolas lowered his eyes. True, he had not been completely open with any of them. "I'm sorry." He whispered.

"It's alright, nin mellon. We understand. All we wanted to do was help you out of the pain."

"I know, it's just that, I'm, I'm not used to being so open." A sheepish grin accompanied the quiet words. He hissed in pain as Elrond gently lifted his leg so that they could also sponge the back. Once finished they soaked several cloths and wrapped them around the swollen leg.

Elrond sat down, careful not to bump the young prince's leg.

"No one is, Legolas, but there are times that you should open up. And this happens to be one of those times. Though." He smiled at his three sons. "I wouldn't want to open up to these three either."