Chapter 4. Talking

Aragorn blinked owlishly at the bright sunlight flooding into his room, thanks to the open window. The ranger frowned at the window; his last recollection was shutting the window. He groaned as he threw an arm over his eyes. A soft laughter sent Aragorn upward. He threw a glare at Elladan who was sitting next to him.

"What are you doing in my room?"

He asked gruffly, his eyes hurting from the abrupt bright light. This only elicited another soft laugh from the elf.

"Wake up Estel!" He said quite loudly "It is a beautiful morning, the sun is shinning happily, the birds are singing."

He was stopped abruptly by a pillow that landed squarely on his stomach driving the air from his lungs.Once Elladan regained air into his lungs, he tackled the fleeing ranger. Down the hallway Elrond shook his head. At least some things were back to normal.

*~*~*

Legolas stared at the ever-rising sun, his mind preoccupied. He had been perched precariously on the thin banister to his balcony since the middle of the night. Sleep had fled quickly from the young prince and had not come back. Not that Legolas wanted to return to the nightmares. The slight wind had picked up in the morning sun, and now whipped around the elf in a warm embrace, sending his hair every which way.

For the most part Legolas was unaware of his surroundings, he heard rather than felt the wind wrap it's self around him and play with his hair. He did not hear three elves and a human walk into his room.

Elrond sent concerned looks to his sons. He had seen the precarious seat that the elf had sat himself on. Despite the concern, Elrond shook his head amused at the prince. Legolas had always liked high places. They silently approached the prince.

"Legolas?"

Legolas jerked at the sound and forgetting his precarious perched tried to turn around. The result would have been disastrous had not the others grabbed his tunic and pulled him to safety. Once safe inside, Aragorn turned toward his friend, an eyebrow raised.

"What?" Legolas defended himself.

"What?" Aragorn mocked his friend. "What! Is that all you can say? What? I've never seen you lost so deeply in your thoughts that you don't even hear when someone enters your own room! What if we were in the woods! You'd be dead!"

Legolas raised an eyebrow not understanding what his friend was trying to say in the jumble of words.

Soft laughter drew the attention of both prince and ranger.

"What he is trying to say Legolas," Elrond said amused "is that he is worried about you."

Legolas frowned at the human before him. "Why are you worried?" He questioned. He was in what his oldest sister called the "Thranduil stance" Eyebrow cocked, arms folded and head tilted ever so slightly to the side.

Aragorn glared back unfazed. "You know what!" He yelled, oblivious to the winces on his brothers and fathers faces. "I'm sick of you moping around, getting mad at anyone for no reason whatsoever! You're acting like a.a. a." he paused searching for the right word.

Elrond raised an eyebrow "Elfling?" He supplied.

"Yes!" Aragorn cried turning his attention to his father he gave a nod of thanks before turning back to the prince. "You're acting like an elfling who was just told he couldn't go on a patrol! I don't know what your problem is, but you have no right to make other elves miserable just cause you are! Pull yourself together!"

Elrond watched in a sort of amusement as Legolas' proud shoulders and head slumped and he took on a posture of dejected elfling, who, like his son had said had been refused the permission to go on a patrol.

Inwardly Legolas was rebelling. Why should he have to listen to this! He was a prince, not some ordinary elf you could just order around anytime anyone wanted. "Listen to yourself" A small voice whispered in his head. "Is this what you wanted?"

There was an abrupt silence as the ranger finished raging. Much to Legolas' horror he could feel tears well up once more in his eyes. He tried to strengthen his resolve, he would NOT cry. He would not. Not. "Don't you dare cry." He told himself fiercely. He kept his head down, still fighting back tears. There was a slight pressure as someone, who he didn't know, put a hand on his shoulder.

"It's ok to cry Legolas."

It was Elladan, who had been watching with sympathy. He knew all to well how it felt to be on the receiving end. Legolas nodded, still swallowing tears.

"What happened in Mirkwood Legolas?" This came from Elrond.

Legolas sighed he knew that it was going to come down to this.

"Give up Legolas."

The prince's head jerked up at the new voice. It was Meldon and Adoril.

"You know you can't get out of this now." There was obvious amusement.

"Let's sit, for I have a feeling this will not be a short tale." Elrond gestured toward the few chairs and bed.

Once seating they waited quietly for Legolas to gather his thoughts. "Would you prefer if I told some?" This came from Adoril. Legolas gave a slight smile and nodded.

"Two months ago, our south patrol didn't show up for reconnaissance. Prince Legolas, with the permission of his father, sent out another patrol to search for them. They too disappeared. Then King Thranduil led out a large force to see what had befallen our warriors." Here Adoril paused and took a deep breath. It was obviously a painful subject for the Mirkwood elves. "We were attacked by wargs first, then the spiders. We lost several warriors."

Here Legolas put a hand over his face. He remembered all to well how many warriors had died. He knew each name, each face. He had etched them into his heart, to be forever remembered.

"We..we" Adoril faltered, his voice breaking as tears welled up in his eyes. "We found the bodies of both patrols. They had all been killed."

Legolas unconsciously clenched and unclenched his hand. He could hear the screams of the dying, the cries of the wounded, the hissing of the spiders, and the fierce growls from the wargs. Then he could see in his mind's eye the bodies of the warriors that had been lost, that had been killed by who knew what.

One thing that Legolas knew that neither he nor the other two Mirkwood elves would tell would be that the bodies had been ripped apart savagely for no reason. It had taken several days to make sure each warrior had his own limbs when he or she was buried. The room was silent as the Mirkwood elves tried to deal with the pain of the memories and the Rivendell elves with the shock of the news.

Aragorn put a comforting arm around Legolas. He could feel the pain, grief and shock radiating from the prince.

"Jaeol, Neinnor, Nehil and Ramildas died." Legolas said quietly to Aragorn, knowing that the ranger would want to know of their deaths. They had been among the few who had accepted the ranger without question.

Aragorn bowed his head, quietly grieving for his friends. They had been some of the few that had easily accepted Aragorn for who he was. As a future king, a ranger, not just a human.

Elrond looked on in sadness. He knew the peril of living in Mirkwood first hand. He sighed; even immortality could not protect anyone from arrows, wargs, or spiders. "Has there been an increase of danger lately Legolas?"

Legolas wiped his eyes before answering. "Yes, we've seen more spiders and wargs in the forest then ever before. Father decided that the palace is in too much danger." He paused, struggling to finish. "We are moving from the mountain palace to the caverns. Near the Lonely Mountain and Dale." He could feel the shock and surprise coming from Aragorn, Elladan, Elrohir and Elrond.

"But Legolas, you've lived at the palace all of your life, and now you're moving?"

"We've used the caverns before." Legolas reminded the ranger. His voice faltered "we.we just never lived in them."

Unbeknownst to many, Thranduil had sent the women and elflings to the caverns for safety many years ago when an army of orcs and wargs had attacked the palace. Though the outcome had been bloody, the elves had triumphant and the women and elflings were taken home.

Legolas had been a small elfling at that time. Even after hundreds of years, he still suffered nightmares from living in that cold dark cave for several weeks. No one knew his secret, of his fear of dark places. No one knew. At least he didn't think anyone knew. Aragorn didn't know, not even his father knew. And he didn't intend to let them know either.

Aragorn looked at his friend. There was obviously something conflicting going on in his mind. He looked down at Legolas' hand; he was still clenching and unclenching it. For some reason, Aragorn didn't think that Legolas even knew what he was doing. He gently shook the elf. Legolas jerked, his breath coming in near gasps. He stared at Aragorn. In the silver blue depths Aragorn could see a growing panic. He frowned what was a matter? Suddenly Legolas bolted from the room startling all the occupants.

Legolas had to get away. He could hear the all to familiar sounds of dripping water, the ghostly echoes and the dark, the all-compressing darkness. Surrounding him, mocking him, shutting off the bright rays of the sun. He raced outside into the bright sunshine. His hands were shaking. Legolas looked at them in a sort of wonder. What was a matter with him? Was his fear so great that it made his hands shake?

*~*~*

Elrond turned to the two Mirkwood elves, a silent question on his face. Adoril and Meldon exchanged a quick glance at each other, before Adoril spoke up.

"Legolas was only 5?" He turned to Meldon for confirmation. Meldon nodded. "He got lost in one of the lower chambers for about a week." He hesitated, not sure wither to continue or not. He looked to Adoril. Adoril nodded slowly to Meldon's silent question wither or not to continue.

"Legolas was and still is terrified of dark places for years afterwards. He never admitted it to anyone, and would never admit it freely, but ever so often if he starts to feel closed in or someone talks about it, he remembers when he was lost in the caverns, and he panics. He had nightmares for weeks upon weeks afterwards. Even to this day he still has nightmares."

Aragorn looked in shock at Meldon. He had been friends with Legolas for several years, yet he never had known about any fear that Legolas struggled with.

*~*~*~*

Legolas took a deep breath and released it slowly. He was fine, he told himself. He closed his eyes and took another deep breath. Letting the sun bath his face, and the wind wrap around him in a graceful dance.

"Prince Legolas?"

He turned secretly horrified that anyone could find him in such a venerable state of mind. It was Erulehto. He stood with an eyebrow raised at the prince.

"Yes Erulehto?" The older elf handed him a parchment.

Legolas took it and slowly opened it, fearing the worst. He glanced at the bottom of the message. It was from his oldest brother, Lomion. It read:

Legolas,

I know of the argument that you and ada had. I wish you would've told me about it before you left. I know you left angry. And I wish you wouldn't have. I know that these past weeks have been hard on you and I wish you would just open up and talk about it. I am worried about you. Don't do anything stupid. I love you.

Signed, Lomion.

Legolas grinned at the letter. His family was completely different from the Rivendell families. Here there was a sort of freedom, hugs were not unusual at all. At Mirkwood there was always a sense of rigid-ness. Any show of affection was rare. Lomion who had been friends with the twins longer than Legolas had been alive knew how hard it was to switch from a sense of freedom to rigid standards, and had helped his youngest brother, by showing more affection than what a Sindarin elf normally would. Legolas sighed.

Not even a letter would help him now. Even though the story had been told it still weighed upon him like a rock, dragging him down. Frustrated he chewed on his lower lip. A habit he had picked up from Lomion. What was a matter with him? Why did he feel so, so useless. So drained, so, so miserable? His hands itched to do something, but what? Orcs, unlike Mirkwood were rare in Rivendell, along with spiders and wargs. Had that not been the case Legolas felt for sure that he would be in the forest hunting orcs.

*~*~*

Aragorn looked at his father. What should he do? Should he follow Legolas? A quiet murmur broke into his thoughts.

"Lord Elrond?"

"Yes Adoril?"

"There was one other thing." He said quietly. "Legolas was the one who found the bodies of the patrols. He feels it is his fault that they died."

Elrond frowned "How so?"

Adoril rubbed his eyes. "Legolas sent out both patrols, with his father's permission of course, but that in his mind doesn't count. He feel's he is directly to blame for the deaths."

Aragorn almost snorted, Legolas was like that. He took the blame for most things.

"What shape were the bodies in?" Elrond asked.

Aragorn frowned "Why do you ask Adar?"

"Because I've learned in the past that the more mutilated the bodies are, the more the person feels the guilt."

Aragorn looked at his two brothers questioningly, wondering if they understood better than he did. Judging from their faces, they didn't.

Elrond saw his confusion and explained. "When Celebrian left for Lothlorien, I sent several elves to protect her. They weren't enough, though many died by an arrow, most of them had been mutilated beyond recognition." He bowed his head in remembrance. "I could not help but feel guiltier when I saw the mutilated bodies. I felt enough guilt for sending them out, but those mutilated bodies..." His voice trailed off.

"All the bodies of the patrols were mutilated." Adoril whispered horrified. "Legolas not only feels the guilt from sending them out, he also feels as though he is responsible for their suffering, but for their pain before they died."