After teatime, Frodo and Gandalf remained in the parlour and could hear Sam and Rose in the kitchen getting supper ready. Merry and Pippin had gone out for a walk with the others. The Ring-bearer took advantage of the opportunity of having his friend alone for he was just as curious about the wizard’s secrets as his cousins were.

“Who was she, Gandalf?” he asked softly.

“The Lady Este, one of the Powers that help guard and guide. Her name means rest and she brings healing to those sore burdened by the troubles of the world.”

“That is why then she came to me.”

“More that she brought you to herself.”

“She was very gentle and loving with me, much like my mum.”

Gandalf smiled. “That is her nature.”

"What do you mean she brought me?  Where was I?"

"For a little while, in the Uttermost West.  You have been given a most singular blessing, for while you are gifted with the most unusual dreams, this was more than a dream."

"It was very peaceful there, very clean.  It made me feel the same.  I did not want to leave."

"That is one of its greatest treasures."

They sat in silence for a little while Frodo listened to Sam and Rose talk in the kitchen and watched as the shadows began to take over the room as the light outside faded into early evening. “I feel so lost, Gandalf. I see my old life in the distance, but I can’t find my way back to it.”

“There is no going back, my dear Frodo. Didn’t you say so yourself? There is only going forward. You have been broken by a burden of fear and horror and you are being made into something quite different.”

“I don’t want to be different.”

Gandalf laughed gently and squeezed his friend’s hand. “My dearest hobbit, you have alwaysbeen different and this is what is so wonderful about you. If only you could see yourself as I do, as Sam and your cousins do, as we all do. You have such a light to you and it is growing stronger.”

“I can’t see that. The shadows still linger so deep, just like they are here growing in this room as the light fades. All I can see is a terrifying dark world full of thorny brambles like Sam and I saw in Mordor. They cut at my hands and feet and tangle in my hair and the black night fills my heart. Not even the wheel of fire is left to me.”

The wizard stood and lit the oil lamp that was near Frodo’s chair and the room was soon illuminated. “You will leave that terrible place, and come back into the true light,” Gandalf assured softly as he saw the light lit half of his friend’s face, while the other remained in shadow. “It will be a long journey, but there will be a joyful end to it. Este will continue to help you and the other Powers who have aided you along the way. You have never been alone, Frodo.”

“Sam and I called upon Elbereth. I remember her name from some of Bilbo’s old tales and she was the one Gildor and his company were singing of.  She was of great help to us.”

“She kindled the stars and is one of the greatest of the Powers. She is ever ready to answer the pleas of those who cry for her aid. She aided you even then in the Shire. You are so dearly loved, Frodo, so very dearly.”

“She is kin then to the Lady Este?”

“As well as to the Lady Nienna who is one I have learned much from myself. She is well acquainted with grief and brings strength to the spirit of those who mourn so they can endure in hope. She turns sorrow to wisdom.”

“I would like to know her then, if she was one of your teachers, so I can thank her, for you have taught me much.”

Gandalf smiled down at his beloved friend and brushed at his curls. “As you have taught me and all of us. They await your decision whether you wish to come West, but there is time yet. And if you do decide to come, Bilbo, Elrond, the Lady Galadriel and I will accompany you.”

Frodo looked up at him greatly surprised. “How do you know about that?”

Gandalf sat back down near him and took his hand. “I was the one Arwen spoke to when she conceived her plan. And it was I who presented that plea to the Powers who granted her wish.”

For a moment, the hidden Maia uncloaked a sliver of his true power. Frodo’s eyes widened as he looked upon in awe and reverence and even a little fear. “Who are you?” he breathed.

The light faded, being muted again and seen only in the wizard’s eyes which were the same bright, loving ones the hobbit had always known. The Maia brushed his hand against the troubled Ring-bearer’s cheek and smiled. “Fear me not, my dear lad, for I will ever be Gandalf to you.”

The fear faded. “Good.”

“Sam has been given leave also, when his heart is ready.”

Frodo looked up at him with such pain but a sudden joy and hope as well. He held Gandalf’s in one hand and clutched Arwen’s gem in the other as he thought of the offer the Queen had made to him. Before he spoke again, he listened again for any sign that Sam or his other brothers were near. “I had wondered how I could possibly think of leaving such a loyal and loving guardian as my Sam, which I must do if I am to travel there, but that eases my pain to know he could come later, if he wishes. I wonder how I will leave my Merry or my ’squeak or even Aragorn and Faramir who have come to mean so much to me. Sometimes I wonder, too, how Lady Arwen can bear to make the opposite decision: to stay when the rest of her family leaves, to not see again the mother who already has been so long gone or the father she will be soon part from. But she will stay out of love. Am I strong enough to make the same decision or will I have to leave? It frightens me as nothing else has that there could be a power greater in my life than Sam’s love or that of my brother-cousins that has so long sustained me.”

“There is nothing stronger than love, if it is true,” Gandalf assured, “and there is nothing truer than the love that we all bear for you. Such can withstand any assault, endure any trial, and be unbreachable even by great distance or death itself. It is love that will heal you, my dearest hobbit, whether it is here or beyond the Sea. It will not ever fail you or desert you.”

“Why is everyone so good to me when I have failed so badly?”

“Because you did not fail.”

“But I did. I can’t remember any of it myself, but I don’t have to. Sam heard what I said at the Fire when I claimed the Ring for myself and abandoned the Quest. I did the most evil thing anyone could do.”

“It was not your will to do it, Frodo.”

“Yes, it was.  I could not have said it any plainer. I knew I was coming into its power. I should have been stronger. I should have known...”

“Do not judge your actions, my stubborn hobbit, solely by their outcomes rather than by your original intentions. Your intention was to destroy the Ring. That never wavered until your will was broken after months of torment. Do not discount in your long struggle against that terrible power the thousands of times you said ‘no’ to it with each step and breath you took, and see only that one ‘yes’ which was forced out of you at the end. You were overcome at last by a power far greater than yourself that you had held out against longer than any of us dared hope, far longer than any of those stronger and wiser than you could have.  I showed a bit of my power just now to show you that even such a one as I could not have withstood it then and would have fallen far sooner and harder.  You are a mortal being, Frodo, and you had been battling an immortal spirit of the gravest evil.  Only Sauron’s master was any worse.  Do not blame yourself for not being to withstand something that would have been impossible for anyone to have done so. Your words were plain as you say, but there is more than one way to understand ‘I do not choose.’ You literally did not choose. The choice was made for you. And it was then redressed by the Other Power Who had chosen you as His Ring-bearer. Because of the Pity and Mercy you had shown, you were given it in the same measure.”

“What other power?”

“The One you said yes to at the Council.”

“Will I meet that one too in the West?”

Gandalf smiled. “I dare say you will. You are very beloved of Him.”

Frodo’s features grew quite thoughtful as he considered all of his friend’s words. When Sam and Merry came to check on him later, he was resting against Gandalf’s broad chest with the wizard’s arm protectively around him. Their brother looked worn but peaceful. Gandalf smiled at them and they smiled back.

“Dinner is ’bout ready,” Sam said softly.

Frodo was unusually quiet during dinner, but he ate everything Sam put on his plate, and even accepted seconds. Much passed in their silent gazes. When afters were eaten, Frodo surprised everyone when he announced he was going outside. “I want to look at the stars.”

Sam smiled softly for he remembered what comfort that single star in Mordor had given him. The sky would be full of them in the cloudless Shire. “Do you want me to come out with you, master?” he asked.

“No, my Sam, I won’t be out long.”

Frodo smiled as he stood while his guardian made sure he was bundled up properly. They exchanged a long look and there spoke silently to each other’s hearts and souls, words that Frodo couldn’t bear to speak yet, but more than that, they enveloped the other in love stronger than anything in the world. Sam returned his treasure’s smile, then kissed his head in blessing and watched him leave.  Frodo did not go far, only into the garden. He looked far above him and saw all the myriad stars twinkling above him. His breath streamed out in the cold air and he shivered, but for the first time, he was not afraid of the night and the terrors it had held for him since his wounding at Weathertop. Instead, he felt peace and hope looking up at the dark sky, for how else could such lights be seen, and where they were, the dark could not overcome them. He realized Sam was right that there were things that evil could not reach or touch. Was there hope then for him as well who had been so deeply touched? He was startled out of his thoughts when he heard the door open and someone else come beside him, but it was only Gandalf.

“Do they shine so in the West?” he wondered.  "They were so clear in my dream." 

“Verily it is so.”

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A/N: The description of Nienna is taken from The Silmarillion.