Turning Points

Chapter Four

“Laying Plans…”

He lay awake that night recalling all the things that had happened over the last few days. The talk with Frodo had thoroughly unnerved him with its unexpectedness. His cousin had come closer to the truth than anyone thus far. Pippin tossed restlessly and finally settled on his back. He folded his arms underneath his head and stared at the ceiling. Perhaps he should take him up on his offer to talk? He was certain he was going to shatter, and soon, if he didn’t let out some of the emotions that were building steadily within him. He had questions that needed genuine answers. He trusted Frodo. So what was holding him back? “I don’t know!” He flipped over with a sigh and punched his pillow into submission. Lily made her displeasure known with a protesting meow and sought a place on the bed as far away from her young master’s thrashing about as possible.

Pippin wrapped his arms around the pillow and settled into its soft comfort with a sigh. Once more he found himself thinking about her. The way she smelled, the way she looked, and how the strawberry curls in her hair swirled in a different direction on the left side than they did on the right. The way he felt when she looked at him. Her smile, her soft voice. He dreamed on, imagining what it would be like if she kissed him on the mouth the way he had seen Merry do it with Estella. He remembered watching them on one occasion unbeknownst to his cousin, while Merry kissed her, and the way their lips moved and were slightly open. He had a feeling they were doing something more with their mouths, but hadn’t been able to tell for certain.

Another time, not long after that encounter, he had come upon them quite by accident, spying them through a partially open door to one of the back parlours at Brandy Hall. He’d again lingered watching them, feeling alternately ashamed and aroused by what he saw. He knew Merry would have been furious if he’d caught him. He didn’t care to even think about what Estella’s reaction would have been. But he’d been unable to tear his eyes away and watched until he heard someone coming, at which point he’d darted into a nearby closet. When he emerged they were gone. But he hadn’t stopped thinking about what he’d seen, and tonight, for some reason, the thoughts simply refused to go away. Pippin felt his cheeks grow warm in the darkness, and the warmth spread throughout his entire body.

He wasn’t aware when he’d actually made the transition between waking and sleeping, because nothing seemed any different. He wandered the long corridors of Brandy Hall knowing he was looking for someone. Who he sought, he did not know, yet he was drawn along. His head jerked up, startled by the sudden wail coming from behind the door at the end of the winding turn. He crept forward ever so slowly, alternately wanting what he sought and dreading it, as if he knew some unwanted knowledge lay behind the door. The crying grew in volume as he approached; yet the door seemed always farther away. He reached for the knob but his hand brushed the air instead. He was walking in mud, the mire drawing him deeper with each step as he thrashed against it. Without warning, the door flew open and a weeping child beseeched him for aid. Behind her came the sound of violently rushing water.

“I’m coming,” he called, “Wait for me, don’t go!” The loud scream echoing from behind the door tore at his heart. He increased his struggles to move forward but it was like taking a swim in the sludge at the bottom of a pond. The child’s wails urged him on and he reached the opening at last, only to stare at the sight of deep black water coursing through the room. The scream faded away as he reached into the void, the cry now his own.

Pippin’s eyes flew open. His breath came in short ragged gasps as he struggled to a sitting position, tossing aside his blanket and dumping Lily on the floor. The big white cat rushed from the room with a growl of protest at the rude awakening. Pippin didn’t notice. He was sitting on the side of his bed, heart pounding in his ears. Something was wrong. But what was it? Yes, he was ready to talk. Tomorrow he would ask his parents to allow him to visit Bag End. He felt almost giddy at the thought, like a great weight had been lifted from his heart. Pippin lay down again and spent the rest of the night making plans. There was no more sleep to be found.

******

“Have you seen our son this morning, Pad?” Eglantine turned from the stove as her husband came through the kitchen door on his way in from the barn.

Paladin shook his head as he placed a pail of fresh milk in the sink. “No, but

I’d like to. He hasn’t started any of his chores yet. His sisters are already half finished. I’d best not find him laying abed still.”

“No,” Eglantine shook her head as she bustled about preparing for the first breakfast of the morning. “I looked there already. There’s no sign of him. Why, he even made up his bed and tended to his clothes! I almost swooned when I noticed that,” she chuckled. Paladin stopped what he was doing for a moment and tilted his head in thought, as Eglantine continued, ”He must have gone out and we’ve just missed seeing him.”

“Hmm, perhaps. And then again, he might have forgot all about his responsibilities and just went off with his head in the clouds the way he’s been doing lately.”

“Now Pad,” Eglantine scolded him, “give him the benefit of the doubt at least.”

Paladin chuckled. “Don’t I always?” He came up behind his wife and surprised her with a hug and a kiss on the neck, making her laugh.

“No. You don’t. Sometimes you’re too eager to jump to conclusions before you know what’s going on around you.” She swatted at him playfully with the towel in her hand. “So why don’t you wait and see what he’s been up to, eh? He may just surprise you.”

“Aye, he’s been surprising me often enough lately.” Paladin went back to the sink and began tending to the milk. “Do you think a word of what we said to him yesterday stayed in his head?” he asked over his shoulder.

“Well now, I do believe he took our little talk very sincerely to heart,” she nodded. “I could tell he was listening to every word.”

“Ah, and how do you know that when he was staring at his feet for half of the conversation?” Paladin twisted around to wink at her before returning to his task.

“Because I know my son well,” Eglantine bristled. “And I’m certain he was listening, because of the fact he hung his head during half our discussion. The lad was feeling ashamed of his actions, ‘twas very obvious! Really, Pad, I think--”

“Oh, he heard, all right. I know he did, for once.”

Eglantine paused, cooking fork in hand and stared incredulously at her husband’s back.

“Now don’t be so surprised by what I said, Tina.” Paladin continued pouring the milk into another container without looking at her. “I know my son too, and I know when he’s paying mind to what I’m saying and when he’s not. And he most assuredly is aware that we weren’t pleased with his manners the other night.” He tipped the last drops of milk into the pitcher and set it on the table, then washed the bucket under the hand pump. “Ah, he’s a good lad and never means any harm. He just needs to be shown the error of his ways now and then.”

Eglantine nodded slowly. “I agree.”

Paladin leaned against the sink and dried his hands on a towel. “He’s coming into the time of his life when his body’s starting to change, Tina,” he said gently. Tossing the towel aside he stepped forward and took her in his arms. “His thoughts are changing too. And neither part of him has had time to catch up with the other yet.” He held her at arms length and searched her face. “Do you not remember what it was like with our lasses?”

“Of course I do. But…Pippin is still so young! Surely it can’t be that time of his life already.”

“He’s your baby, your youngest. I think it’s harder for you to see it, my love.

And besides, you’ve never been a lad yourself.” He winked at her. “You picked up on it quick enough when our lasses reached that age, but you’re not seeing it with Pippin. Have you not noticed how moody he’s become? Or how quick he is to answer back to us, to challenge our authority? How one minute he wants us to treat him like he’s older, and then the next day he’s acting like a little lad, younger than his years? As if he can’t make up his mind which it’s to be.”

Eglantine nodded thoughtfully. “Now that you mention it, I have noticed a stronger odour about his clothing as I’m doing the wash these days…well, and I just brushed it off as being picked up from your clothing. But…now that I think about it, I’ve noticed it at other times too, like when I’m collecting up the wash from his room, or he’s near me.” She shook her head. “I suppose I’ve been distracted lately, what with all the canning and other work from the harvest.”

Paladin nodded. “Yes, and that of course is another very obvious sign, my dear. And what about the times lately when Merry’s been staying with us? Sometimes our lad acts like a fauntling when Merry’s heading off without him, and going somewhere Pippin’s not allowed without an adult present.”

Eglantine chuckled. “Such as the tavern?”

Paladin’s eyes twinkled. “Aye! And other times he’s trying not to let anyone see he’s noticing just what his cousin is up to with Estella Bolger?” Paladin chuckled. “Did you see him watching Marigold Gamgee the night of the Harvest party? I was afraid he’d soon be tripping over his chin if he didn’t stop gaping at her!”

“Hmm. And just how did I manage to miss all of that?”

“Well, you were busy with our guests. Or perhaps you saw it, but didn’t really see it, if you know what I mean.”

“Oh, I know what you mean, all right, Paladin Took! And I’ll not be turning a blind eye to my own son’s doings, never you fear. I may have missed some things but I can assure you I’ll be keeping my eyes wide open from now on.”

“Now, Tina. Don’t be so hard on yourself. It’s a mother’s way, after all. And seeing as how you were never a lad, and thank goodness for that, you can’t be expected to see it as quickly as I can.”

“Well, you needn’t be so smug about it, Pad. But I think Pippin’s got a long way to go yet, and he--”

“I’m starving! When do we eat?” Pippin burst into the kitchen through the back door, eyes bright, and looked around eagerly.

“My, and don’t you have tons of energy this morning. You must have slept a great deal better last night.” Eglantine peered at him closely.

Pippin appeared not to notice and wandered over to the stove to see what was cooking. He nodded in an offhand manner as he inspected the bacon set aside to stay warm on the stovetop.

“Where have you been?” Paladin took his seat at the table as the rest of the family filed in. “Have you started any of your chores yet?”

Pippin nodded as he turned, a piece of bacon in each hand and one in his mouth. “Yes Da,” he mumbled around the food. “I started them but I don’t have much done yet. I will, after breakfast, I promise.” Pippin moved to his place at the table and plopped into his chair. He reached for a knife and the butter, carefully avoiding his father’s eyes, and busied himself with a slice of bread.

“You didn’t answer my first question, son,” Paladin reminded him.

“I went for a stroll, that’s all.” Pippin continued his careful buttering of the bread without looking up.

“Since when do you ‘stroll’ through the pasture at sunrise, Pip?” Pervinca snorted. “Mum and Da usually have to tip you out of bed at that hour.”

Pippin rolled his eyes at his youngest sister and didn’t bother answering.

“Peregrin, I need your help this afternoon. I’ve a delivery to make to one of our neighbours and I want you to come with me.”

Pippin tried not to sigh too loudly and didn’t bother inquiring about the details. “Yes, Da,” he mumbled obediently, remembering how he’d been admonished about his attitude during their little talk the day before. Wisely, he decided not to push his luck this time. There go my plans for the afternoon.

Paladin chose to ignore his son’s obvious disapproval of the request and returned to his breakfast calmly. 

******

“Pad?” Eglantine approached her husband in the barn later that morning. “What delivery were you referring to? I don’t recall anything of the sort.”

Paladin turned from his task of fitting a new harness on one of the ponies and smiled mischievously at his wife. “I made it up so I’d have an excuse to take Pippin off alone and talk to him.”

“Ah, I see.” She tilted her head thoughtfully. “Do you mean it’s time for that father and son chat, then?”

“Something like that.” He fingered the leather harness as he contemplated. “I want to find out what his thoughts are, and if he’s having any problems. And see if I can find out a little more about these nightmares, if he’ll share it with me. He may have questions that need answering. All things he wouldn’t be likely to speak of with his mother present.”

“I see, just lad talk. I understand. He’d probably be embarrassed to say anything in front of me.”

“Ah, he’ll likely feel shy about talking to me too, but it’ll be some easier at least. I’m almost certain I heard his voice break just the other day. You know what that means.”

Eglantine smiled. “My little lad is growing up.”

“Aye, that he is. Frodo was talking to me about this before everyone left yesterday. He said he’d been noticing how moody Pippin was becoming even before the incident at the party.”

“It’s sweet of him to be concerned.”

Paladin nodded. “Actually, our talk helped me to see what’s been right under my nose the whole time. Here I’ve been puzzling over Pippin’s actions and never really giving much thought to what might be happening.”

“You’ve been working awfully hard to get the harvest in, Pad. Don’t be too hard on yourself about it. We’ve all been very busy.”

“I don’t ever want to be too busy to miss what’s going on in my family, Tina. Particularly when it has to do with my children.”

“Yes, of course dear.” Eglantine stood on tiptoe and gave her husband a peck on the cheek. “Well then, I’ll be very interested to see how it turns out.”

“So will I,” Paladin answered dryly.