Dignified Vegicide For A Noble Cause

by Llinos
beta Marigold

There were of course many more speeches during the afternoon. The whole story of the fire and daring rescues were recounted many times over from various points of view, sometimes by hobbits who had not even been there.

Gammer Barlimow was wheeled in her bath chair to the podium by Poppy Hollowtree to present bouquets to Diamond, Estella and Rose and give their personal thanks to the Thain, the Master and the Mayor, which they both did many times over.

It was announced, with due ceremony, that Captain Peregrin, in appreciation of his amazing act of courage, in addition to his title of Thain and Took, would also have the title, Fire Captain General of The Shire.

Captain Meriadoc, also in gratitude for his outstanding bravery, would act as Tactical Fire Battalion Commander.

However Matt Hammerstone, "in recognition of his extensive work with our esteemed dwarven colleagues and his exceptional expertise in modifying the new Fire Engine, would be…" (from a purely practical point of view, although this was not actually announced, but generally understood) "…Fire Shirriff in Charge." As Sam announced this there were not only great cheers but quite a few sighs of relief.

Then Pippin had cut the ribbon to open the new Green Dragon and put a substantial, albeit undisclosed, sum behind the bar to buy drinks for everyone. Sam and Merry had donated two barrels each, as per the wager, of 1420 from their personal store, so Farmer Cotton eventually got his promised pint.

Everyone's health was drunk and everyone was happy. There was even a precious cask of Sylvan wine especially for the elves and the Green Dragon soon felt as if it had never been gone.

Pippin was particularly fascinated with how the necessary timbers had been acquired, and so quickly. "Legolas," he asked his old friend, "I thought elves didn't approve of chopping down trees."

"We do not!" The elf's serene smile became serious for a moment. "Not without discussing it with them first."

"Oh," In spite of his former associations with Treebeard, Pippin was still confused. "So they volunteered to become part of a hobbits' pub? A kind of dignified vegicide for a noble cause?"

"Of course not," Legolas laughed merrily. "We discussed with the ents which branches we could take, so as not to do any harm. It is similar to the tree having a haircut."

"Well that's a relief!" Pippin took another hearty quaff of his ale. "I was worried for a moment that it might have been someone we knew."

In the months and years that followed Matt Hammerstone took his duties very seriously. The engine was kept tuned and polished to perfection in its new home, a smart wooden shed, built next to the smithy. The addition of the brass bell meant hobbits could be warned of its approach without the need to waste valuable steam on blowing the whistle.

Herbie Pottleshaw and Rolando Puddifoot were enrolled as Active Service Fire Shirriffs (second class) and were trained in all aspects of Fire Engine maintenance and operation, especially how to operate the new turntable ladder and hoses. Rolly was even persuaded to modify his drinking in case of the event of a fire occurring and he and Herbie became the closest of friends. This was just as well, as the other tweenagers began to regard the pair as a trifle boring since all they wanted to talk about was the Fire Engine and they could often be seen huddled together in the Ivy Bush discussing possible new innovations or rescues they would like to make.

In the event rescues were rare. Widow Shortshanks' cat was liberated from a fairly high tree and in a particularly alarming incident, young Hamfast Gamgee's head was finally released from a particularly tricky set of railings. (This last was actually achieved by Matt lifting the lad upside down so that his rather large pointed ears could slide through easily – and did not really require the Fire Engine, but was still claimed as a victory for the Hobbiton Fire Brigade.)

But probably the most important function of the Fire Brigade was at the mid-summer Free Fair. The Fire Engine was polished until it shone and decked out once more with ribbons and flags and stood in honour at the front of the Fair entrance.

Hobbit children, and quite a few adults as well, were happy to subject themselves to a long lecture about fire safety and proper respect for machines and engines in return for a ride upon the Great Machine itself. Particularly attentive young hobbits were even allowed the ring the bell.

In spite of his new title of Fire Captain General of The Shire, Pippin somehow never quite got to drive the Fire Engine himself. For some odd reason, there always seemed to be grounds why someone else (usually Matt) should drive.

"Pippin, people will want to see you, and you are much more visible on the pillion!" Merry reasoned.

"I think it's important that everyone knows Matt is the official driver," Sam had pointed out.

"Dearest, you have a bit of a cold starting," Diamond insisted. "I don't want you breathing all those nasty coal fumes."

It was never, of course, suggested that Pippin was a bad or dangerous driver. Some things just don't need to be said!

The End
(Really this time!)