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Not Gonna Happens  by Larner

For the-Arc5

Light Reading

            “I think you might like these,” Gandalf said one day as he set seven books down on the bench beside Frodo.  “One of my friends brought them--he thought you would like reading of the exploits of his protegee.”

            Frodo looked at the colorful pile.  Most were in paper covers of various shades of green and gold, although there was one that was predominantly blue.  He picked up the topmost--and thinnest--and examined it before looking up at his friend in amazement.  “Is he riding on a broomstick?” he asked.

            The Wizard leaned down and examined the picture on the cover with some interest.  “So it would appear,” he finally allowed.

            “What’s that he’s trying to catch?  It is plainly not a bird.”

            Gandalf shook his head.  “I suspect, dear friend, you shall need to read them for yourself to determine that.”

            Frodo nodded thoughtfully, opened the volume, and began reading.  Most of the machines described within it he had little appreciation for, although he could imagine how such things as letter slots and cookers might be useful.  Several times he found himself laughing, for although the technology might be at great odds to that he’d known while living in the Mortal Lands, yet the emotions of the protagonists and some of their reactions to impossible situations he could fully appreciate.  He read throughout the day....


            “Did he like my gifts?” Gandalf was asked.

            “Like them?  Oh, I believe he did indeed.  However, many of the rest of us have found his reactions to the stories to be--disconcerting.”

            “Oh?  How so?”

            “Well, first, he decided to construct his own magic wand.  As there are no unicorns or phoenixes on the island, he decided the most likely material to use would be a hair from the greatest individuals he knew.  Galadriel Artanis was most upset to be awakened from a nap when he plucked a hair from her head.  Some of the Elves from the mallorn grove have complained about the branches he cut from one of their trees, yesterday he managed to get away with a whisker from my beard, and now his friend Livwen’s mother is demanding the return of her broom!”

            Dumbledore began laughing and could not seem to stop.  “Just don’t let him try ‘Accio brain’!” he advised between chuckles.

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