Chapter Five

Legolas shook his head in mute horror at the tale Aragorn told. Now things made much more sense. So many times Aragorn had berated Legolas for putting himself in danger to help Aragorn. Legolas had often thought that he was overreacting. But each time, Aragorn must have been reliving that one moment in time. Legolas could only imagine the torment that Aragorn had gone through. He knew how devastated he would be if he lost Aragorn like that. And to know that a friend had died to save his life. . . Legolas now understood the guilt that he had heard in Aragorn’s voice. He took a deep breath to steady himself. Now that Aragorn had gone this far, he had to finish the tale, for his own sake.

“I remember that time,” Legolas said softly. “I was at home when I received the message that you had been wounded in battle and were recovering in Imladris. I had duties to fulfill that kept me home longer than I would have liked, but I left as soon as I was able. By the time I got there, you had already left. I spoke at length with Elrond and the twins, but there was little they could tell me. Halbarad had only told them that a battle had gone badly, and you had taken numerous injuries. Elrond was able to heal your physical injuries, but he knew there were injuries that had nothing to do with the body. Those, you would not let him touch. Elladan and Elrohir were also worried for you. They said you barely spoke while you were there. Then, when you were barely healed enough to stand on your own, you packed your bags and left. All you would tell them was that you had something you had to take care of.” Legolas let the statement hang in the air, hoping that Aragorn would continue the story.

Aragorn nodded. “Aerin. She had been heavy with child when we left. By the time I made it back to the village, the child had been born. She named him Eriol, one who dreams alone. He looked so much like Bregor. He has his coloring, and Aerin’s eyes. I had to go to her and tell her how Bregor had died. I wanted to take care of them, as Bregor would no longer be able to. She refused to leave her home and come back to Imladris. I had expected as much, but she would not allow me to stay in the village and watch over them, either. She is a strong woman, and trusted that her neighbors would help her if she needed it. She knew who I was, and would not allow me to ‘bind my fate to hers’, as she put it. She told me that Bregor had died a noble death, saving the life of his friend and king. I asked that I be allowed to return once a year, if not more, to visit with her and the child, and to remember Bregor. She agreed to allow me that.”

Legolas could still hear the guilt and self-deprecation in Aragorn’s voice. “She was right, Aragorn. Bregor chose to give his life for yours. You diminish his sacrifice by refusing to acknowledge his choice. You cannot continue to feel that his death was your fault. You did not shoot the arrow that killed him.”

“No, but I precipitated events by leaving my assigned post. If I had stayed still as ordered, Bregor would not have had to save my life. My arrogance and belief that I was the only one who could save Gundor led directly to Bregor’s death.” Aragorn stared at the still water before him as if he were watching the events he spoke of flashing across the surface.

Legolas shook his head in exasperation. Aragorn had always clung far too tightly to his guilt. He felt guilty over many things that he had no control over. He even felt guilty for the actions of Isildur, a man who had died centuries before Aragorn’s birth. “Aragorn, look at me,” Legolas demanded firmly. Aragorn looked up at Legolas in surprise. Legolas held his gaze. “If you had held your position, Gundor may have been killed.”

“It was not a surety,” Aragorn protested.

“No, but the man I know could not have stood by and let a friend die if there was something he could do to prevent it. You claim it was your arrogance which prompted you to leave your position. I claim it was your compassion. I would not want you to lose that part of yourself, Aragorn. Your greatest strength is that you care. It is that quality that will make you a great king. You have carried a burden for ten years that was never yours to carry. You must lay it down before you are crushed under its weight.”

Aragorn looked at Legolas with his pain visible in his eyes. “That is not such an easy thing to do, my friend.”

“I will help you, mellon-nin.” Legolas rose to his knees and wrapped a hand around the back of Aragorn’s neck. He pulled Aragorn forward gently until Aragorn’s forehead rested against his own. It was a gesture of comfort between them that was used whenever one of them was in the grip of a pain too strong to handle alone.

Aragorn breathed in slowly as long held tears coursed down his cheeks. Legolas kept a firm grip on Aragorn, assuring the man that he would not let him fall. After a while, Aragorn’s tears ceased and he pulled away from Legolas, sitting upright again. Aragorn looked at Legolas. “Thank you. I am glad you decided to follow me, even though I specifically told you I had to do this alone.” There was a small glint in Aragorn's eyes as he gently remonstrated Legolas for not heeding his wishes.

Legolas ignored the mild complaint and nodded at him. “I only wish I had done so years ago. I knew that battle had changed you, but I did not understand how deeply the wound went.”

Aragorn sighed. “How could I not be wounded by the death of a brother?” He waved his hand between them, keeping Legolas from answering. “I want you to make me a promise, Legolas.”

Legolas shook his head quickly. “No, Aragorn. I know what you mean to ask, and that is not a promise I can make. In Bregor’s place, I would make the same choice. As your friend, I could make no other choice. And Bregor understood, as I do, how important you are to the future of Middle Earth. Do not ask for a promise I cannot give.”

Aragorn lowered his head and nodded. He would not argue, but he would do his best to make sure that Legolas never had the chance to make the same choice that Bregor had. Aragorn glanced up at the position of the sun. While they had been talking, the sun had risen high in the sky. Aragorn stood up.

“We should be getting back to the house. Aerin and Eriol will think I’ve somehow gotten lost between the cemetery and the house.”

Legolas chuckled at the thought of Aragorn getting lost in the small village. “ We should be getting back to the house?”

“You followed me all the way here. You don’t think I would send you away so soon? Aerin and Eriol have heard many tales of our adventures, some of the tamer ones, at least. They have wanted to meet you, and Eriol has been determined to meet an elf for a long time now. If you would care to stay for a few days longer, until I had planned to leave, you are more than welcome to share the floor in front of the fireplace. Aerin will insist on it, actually.”

“Then I would hate to disappoint them,” Legolas answered easily. He was relieved that Aragorn did not send him away. He wanted to keep watch over Aragorn as he faced down the demons that had haunted him for ten years. He followed as Aragorn led the way through the woods to the house. Legolas noted that Aragorn’s step seemed to be a touch lighter than before. His wounds were not yet healed, and would probably never fully heal, but he had made a start today.

The End