Chapter Fifteen: Meant to Be

“Frodo!” Sam called out. “Watch out!”

Rose startled awake to see her husband scramble out of bed and run down the hall, still crying out. “Frodo! Frodo!”

Frodo sat up abruptly in his bed as Sam rushed in. “The Riders, Frodo, the Riders!”

Still sleep-mazed, Frodo looked at his brother and fear gripped him. He looked around, drawn into Sam’s dream, afraid he would see wraiths reaching out for him. His shoulder and leg ached in sympathy and he had to concentrate hard on remembering that he was in his own bed and the Riders were gone.

He reached out for Sam and took him into his arms. The gardener clutched at him, looking at him blindly. Frodo’s already broken heart broke a little more to see the terror he saw through from the moonlight shining through the window. “I’ve got to get you out of here!” the younger hobbit cried and began to tug at him. “They’re coming! They’re coming!”

Frodo held onto his beloved guardian tighter and resisted Sam’s pull to get him out of bed. “No, my Sam,” he said softly. “You are having a dream, just a bad dream. The Riders are gone. Listen to my voice, dearest. It’s all right now. It’s all right. We’re safe. We’re home. You got me there.”

Rose watched from the threshold as Frodo continued to murmur comforts and reassurances, as the elder hobbit stroked Sam’s curls and rocked him gently while holding him tight. It took a long time for Sam to calm and each moment it did broke Rose’s heart a little more that her husband was still not recovered from all the traumas he and Mr. Frodo had endured. Tears streaked down her cheeks barely noticed as she watched Sam finally wake, then be softly sung back asleep in Frodo’s arms.

“Lie you still, safe in my arms, mell min.

Close your weary eyes and do not fear.

Rest your weary head and do not weep.

I am here to guard you while you sleep.

“Slumber now in peace, gwador nin,

Dream of lands where the sun forever shines.

Rest in quiet now, close to my heart.

There I will keep you, even though we part.”

Rose did not understand the last words. She figured they were some form of Elvish that Frodo liked to sing to Elanor. But they were sang very sadly and she feared their meaning. Then the Ring-bearer raised his eyes to her and Rose nearly gasped at the haunted, sorrowful look there. She wondered anew what had happened to her love and her friend. She had imagined many terrible things, but she knew that she would never have enough imagination to come close to the reality that her Sam and his, their, Mr. Frodo had endured. She didn’t ask anymore what had happened. She knew they would not tell her, but she saw enough in their eyes.

“I’m sorry, Rose,” Frodo said quietly. He looked down at Sam. “He shouldn’t still be burdened with these trails. He shouldn’t have burdened at all.”

“He wouldn’t have been parted from you, Mr. Frodo,” Rose said just as softly.

Frodo placed a kiss on his beloved guardian’s head. “I know. I will always be grateful for that, but I grieve for it as well. We had no idea what was to come, Rose, no idea.”

Rose held her breath. Frodo had spoken in such a haunted voice. She wondered if she would hear something of their terrible journey. It frightened her, but she also very much wanted to hear, to help share the burden.

“It became so dark,” the Ring-bearer continued, almost to himself, as he continued to look down at Sam, “so very dark. He was my light in those places, but I couldn’t be his. He had to be his own and mine. Even now he has to be. I had no idea then how much that was taking from him, how much it’s still taking. We kept waiting for the dawn, but it was so long in coming. For me, it never came. But now, I think I am beginning to see it, on the horizon, rising in the West, beyond the Sea.”

He kissed him Sam’s head again softly and held him tighter. Rose didn’t think he was even aware of her anymore. Oh, my Sam, how can I leave you, when you still suffer because you would not leave me? “Forgive me,” he murmured into those dear curls, then he closed his eyes and tried to sleep once more.

Rose left in tears. It was a long time before she could sleep again.

Gandalf had heard Sam’s cry as well and roused from the one Man-sized bed Bilbo had always kept for his dear friend’s infrequent visits. He held back when he saw Frodo had the situation literally well in hand, but now he approached the sleeping pair, saw the light shining brightly from them both as they drew strength from each other’s presence. The Maia opened his own light a fraction as he placed his hand gently on the two touching heads and murmured a blessing. They slept peacefully on until morning, wrapped in Love and Light.

In the morning, Frodo woke first with Sam still slumbering in his arms, softly snoring. He smiled as he gave a brush to those dear curls and kissed the beloved head before gently untangling himself from the embrace. His brother mumbled in his sleep, then settled back into slumber.

Frodo padded his way silently out the front door, taking a heavy cloak with him to protect himself against the chill of the day just dawning. He was a little surprised to see that he was not alone. Gandalf stood outside the door, near the entrance to the garden and the hobbit watched his friend, entranced by the light that shone nearly blinding bright from the wizard. His arms were outstretched, his eyes raised heavenward and he was softly signing a hymn in Quenya. Frodo barely understand one word in four, but it soothed his soul. Still he turned back though before it was over, because he did not want to intrude.

“Now, Frodo, stay, my boy,” came the wizard’s soft voice as he dropped his arms and the light faded a little from him, held within the mortal flesh once more, though the Ring-bearer as he now approached him, saw that light still a bright, warm fire in his friend’s eyes.

“I’ve decided that to stay is the one thing I cannot do,” he said softly, sadly.

Gandalf looked at his friend with deep compassion and not a little sadness, but relief also. He knelt on the grass and opened his arms. Frodo came into them and buried his head and his new tears in the wizard’s robes. “Have I chosen right, Gandalf? I thought I did, but then Sam had a nightmare last night. How can I leave him when he’s still suffering because he never left me?”

The ancient Maia stroked his dear friend’s curls. “The easiest decisions are not the ones worth making, that really shape us into who are meant to be,” he said softly. “It’s the hard ones, that have us stepping out into a world we know nothing about, that define us. You’ve chosen right, Frodo. Sam will not be abandoned in his suffering. Iluvatar will keep watch over him just as He will you.”

The hobbit raised his eyes hopefully. “Truly?”

Gandalf smiled. “Truly, my dear boy.”

Frodo sighed heavily in relief. “Then I will be able to leave. I don’t want to have another illness here. Merry and Pippin will be here for my birthday and if we leave in time to make it to the Havens by the 5^th, then that’ll give me a few more days with them and Sam.”

“Enjoy the time you have left here. The ship will be ready to leave when you are. Indeed, the 5^th was the time they were also thinking of leaving.”

“Then it was all meant to be this way,” the Ring-bearer said and he sounded relieved.

“Yes, it was all meant to be,” Gandalf said. “Life is sacrifice, but sacrifices beget rewards.”

A/N: Of course, that song is from Galadriel with a little bit of modification of my own.