Chapter 49 – “We’re Off To See The Wizard”

The grass on either side of the well-worn route they followed from the fords was short and firm, and much as on the other side of the river, the caravan spread out wide. Nevertheless, the pace was still fairly sedate to allow for those on foot. It was notable, perhaps, that the grass here was almost entirely green other than some yellowing from the summer heat. The mass burning of grazing and crop meadows had been for the Rohirric side of the river only. The highway followed the path of the river eastwards and then northwards some way. Eventually they pitched camp just before sunset, only slightly further than the midway point between the Fords of Isen and the Valley of Isengard.

Penny offered her services and busied herself with whatever chores she could think of or could see needed doing. It helped her to keep herself occupied but also meant whatever mounting sense of anxiety regarding the following day would perhaps be less noticeable to others. She did her level best to appear as calm and ‘normal’ as possible and, when she could, encouraged chatter and conversation around her both to give her something else to focus on and to have attention diverted away from her slightly. However, to those who had seen how quiet and withdrawn she had become in the past week or so, this sudden attempt at sociability rang hollow. For all they commended the effort, they were concerned that she was really not quite up to it.

She picked at the evening meal, doing her best to eat (again in an attempt to try and not let her mood affect her behaviour too noticeably), but she honestly had little appetite. That Halladan ate, if not heartily then at least with more enthusiasm then he had in some days, only served to make her behaviour that much more noticeable to those nearby. More than once Arvain and Lindir exchanged a glance after they had asked her if she was feeling unwell or tired and she had insisted she was fine just not terribly hungry.

She knew it was likely that whatever in her behaviour was noticed would merely be put down to a continuing state of grieving. While it was true that that pain was still within her, it had been superseded entirely for the moment by other, more pressing concerns. Even so, it perhaps helped her, as appalled as she was to have to admit it to herself, to have an alternate, ready excuse for people to latch on to if need be. Despite this, when she had eaten as much as she felt she could honestly manage, she muttered her excuses and left before anyone could begin to question her more closely or start up a conversation directly relevant to what they thought might be affecting her.

She did not, as might have been expected, wander off into the darkness to be alone, even though that was exactly what she felt like doing. Instead she deliberately crossed round the fire till she was as far away from Lindir, Arvain and Halladan as possible and settled down in amongst a large group of ellith. Best to stay in the company of those who did not know her situation and thus would not be too overly aware or perceptive (or have the potential to be so at any rate). By mingling and seeming to be sociable she also reduced the risk of those who knew her full story coming to keep her company. To that end she stayed where she was and pretended to listen to the songs and stories with rapt attention.

Little was she aware of it, however, but as the evening progressed more than one person was keeping a careful watch upon her: nothing obtrusive, merely glancing every now and then as they sat amongst the company and listened to the chatter and song around them, but enough to indicate, had she observed it, that those who were close to her were worried for her.

Halladan, when he was at the fire and not off with the Dunedain, could see she was quiet, distracted and not really listening to whatever it was the ellith were discussing. Elrohir noticed when Penny had to be nudged on two separate occasions to wake herself from whatever reverie held her after she was asked a direct question. Erestor could see the slight furrow to her brow as she stared into the fire.

All Penny was vaguely aware of was a cold, tight knot somewhere in her belly.

Of course, tomorrow would be the first time she would be presented with a situation directly to do with the War that had been described in some detail in the books. During the War, stuck in Imladris, she had only been able to imagine events in her mind’s eye as they had come to pass hundreds of miles away. Now she was on the cusp of witnessing something in real time for a change.

She did not like the prospect at all.

As much as anything, she was terrified that she would somehow give something away, that if she showed too much anxiety or distress that the hugely intelligent and wise people around her would connect two and two together and easily come up with four. Indeed, even as she stared into the fire, she was aware that the very fact that they knew problems still lay ahead and which they knew (in the case of Arvain, Halladan and Aragorn) or strongly suspected (in the case of Elrond, Gandalf and the others) lay in the north meant that, once they learnt that Saruman was no longer in Orthanc but had headed off into the wilds somewhere, they were very likely to jump to conclusions (albeit correct ones) without any help from her whatsoever.

And where would that lead?

She cursed herself mentally over and over for having said what she had back in Minas Tirith, for having triggered Arvain and Halladan’s entirely understandable concern. And yet… what else could she have done, given they had not originally intended to return to the north at all for some more weeks or months yet? Gah, it was all such a mess. She had no idea what to do and could only hope that by keeping her mouth shut everything would play out as it should.

It was little wonder, then, that she was distracted for most of the evening, lost as thoughts whirled round and round inside her head. However, it had to be said that, as well as having the excuse of grief to cover her own behaviour, there were other distractions elsewhere in the camp which meant most were not as focused on Penny as they might otherwise have been.

Tomorrow would bring the breaking of the Fellowship. Aragorn would at last head back to Rohan while Legolas and Gimli would make their way north to their homelands together, travelling through Fangorn and then up the east side of the mountains. This meant that many of those that Penny was most keen to avoid for the evening were in fact busy spending their time in the company of all three.

The hobbits sat with Legolas and Gimli for the entire evening, the six chatting quietly when they could, though much of the time Legolas and Gimli were in conversation with a steady stream of people from all through the camp who were bidding them farewell.

Elrond came to speak to them both, for once spending some time at the communal fire instead of removed from the proceedings. Celeborn had messages for King Thranduil, both verbal and written, and at one point Galadriel herself stood to sing (unaccompanied and with a voice that held you in awe and made you want to weep simultaneously) about the thawing of the winter’s frost and the first flowers of spring. It was dedicated to Gimli, so she said (which had him blushing to the roots of his moustache and gigantic beard), since the great service he had done them all, the gentle reverence he had shown them in Lothlorien, and the deep friendship he had forged with Legolas was something to be cherished and, she hoped, signalled the start of a renewed era of mutual respect between their peoples.

Aragorn made a point of coming and staying by the fire for the early part of the evening. He sat with the hobbits, Legolas and Gimli, talking and laughing, sharing old memories and stories one last time. However, he had also grown up amongst the elves and as such there were many there who had known him long and loved him well. He would not see many of them ever again after tomorrow and had many farewells to make that night. On top of which he needed to have long talks with the Dunedain, both as their chief and king, regarding his realm and their people.

As such, after an hour or so, he withdrew to his tent to consult in detail with many of the Dunedain, in groups or individually, as well as the great and wise amongst the party to discuss matters in his official capacity as a head of state: one last consultation and discussion with those whose opinions and advice he trusted absolutely and who had guided and taught him so well in long years past. That and some particular farewells he preferred to make at length and in private if they were people he had known well or felt it was warranted. Needless to say, wherever he went he was invariably in Gandalf’s company – his old advisor and shadow.

Later, long after Penny had retired for the night, he came back to the fire once more to sit with the elves or else walk amongst them, Elrond and his sons by his side, sharing their company and saying his farewells to many he loved dear one last time, until dawn was near breaking. Only then did he go to get a brief hour’s rest.

Penny waited till she felt it was late enough that she could disappear to bed without it seeming strange or indecently early. She made her excuses to Mireth and the other ellith before crossing over to where Legolas and Gimli sat to say her own farewells to them, given she suspected there might not be much opportunity to do so properly the following day.

She spoke to Gimli first, apologising for not having had the Westron to perhaps have got to know him better but, in her linguistically challenged way, managed to convey to him that she considered it a great honour to have met him and that he was a champion amongst dwarves whose name, she felt certain, would be sung for Ages to come. He beamed and bowed low, and then replied by saying that he hoped she would settle well amongst the Dunedain and that ‘if his judgement was anything to go by she could not go far wrong with that proud and noble people whom he had felt honoured to have fought alongside.’

Then she turned to Legolas who actually made a point of stepping away from the company a little towards the shadows without her having asked if they could do so.

“I cannot begin to tell you how much you have helped me,” she began. “The kindness and consideration you have shown me…”

“I did nothing.”

“No, you did much. To be able to talk to you, to hear you talk of it all, both in Gondor and then again the other day… Thank you. My thanks are all I have to offer you, and it is not enough, but know it is sincerely meant.”

He smiled gently.

“Ai, you are a strange one, Pen-ii.” He looked at her and it seemed as if it was an intense look of scrutiny, though it was hard for her to tell in the gloom. “If you would take some advice from one whose opinion I would hope you trust, then seek some comfort for your pain.”

Penny let her gaze fall, suddenly abashed and uncomfortable.

“I can feel it very plainly from you and I am glad that I have helped you a little in that respect, perhaps, but you are carrying too much within you. You have those around you with much wisdom. I know that it is perhaps difficult given there are things still to pass…” He paused, waiting as someone passed a little too close. “Take comfort where you can. Talk of what you need to.”

Penny felt a rush of anxiety flood through her given how near the bone he had struck. By accident? Or had he in fact guessed, much as he had done back in Imladris, that not all was as it seemed?

“Will I see you again, do you think?”

She had meant to try and change the subject, to deflect the conversation away from where it seemed to be headed, but even as the question fell from her mouth she suddenly felt rather upset. Her emotions were raw given the state she was in, admittedly, but she also now faced the very real possibility that she might not ever see him again after tomorrow given that it was highly unlikely that she would go to Gondor again and he would be busy establishing himself in Ithilien for decades for all she knew.

“Well, I am sure I shall visit the north some time, perhaps. Maura and the others are insistent I should come to see them in Sûza, though I am not wholly convinced one of the Eldar coming to pay a visit to one of their kind would go down well if what they tell me of their people’s general nature and attitude is true. Mithrandir agrees. I am not sure if you would ever visit Eryn Lasgalen, but you would be most welcome were you… Why do you look surprised?”

“Surprised?”

“When I said you would be welcome to visit my father’s domain.”

Again that intense, curious look.

“I had considered… I wonder, do I indeed…?” A slow smile spread onto his face and he nodded. “Well, we shall see.” He laughed. “Ai, Pen-ii! Do I want to know? I am not sure I do.”

“I will gladly tell you, only… I am not sure if I would be putting an idea into your head or simply confirming one already forming.”

“Well then, perhaps I should tell you that both Gimli and myself have promised to return to Gondor as soon as we might, and with kin of our own to help the reconstruction there as best we can. That and King Elessar has spoken of offering me land if I should ever wish it, and I love him dearly enough that I would gladly live near to him.”

He looked at her sideways, still smiling, as if gauging her reaction to his words. She grinned back and he returned it before laughing once more. Then her smile faltered slightly as a thought occurred to her.

“What is it?”

“It is not my place…”

“Ask what you will, Pen-ii. I know enough of your secrets, after all, so I think I can allow you one question. And besides,” he added, smiling perhaps a little mischievously, “I do not have to answer it.”

“I was wondering… Will you tell your father of the sea longing?”

His face grew serious then, and a little sad.

“He will sense it from me without my even telling him, Pen-ii, but I will tell him nonetheless. I will not be the first to sail West and leave those I love behind me and… it may yet be he would accompany me.”

He did not sound wholly convinced, however, and Penny said nothing. Not that she had much chance to reply even if she had wanted to.

“But come,” he said, attempting to break the mood, “you look a little tired and are off to get some rest, I do not doubt. We both have long journeys ahead of us still, and you mortals need your sleep. I am glad to have known you and it may well be that we shall meet again one day. I wish you every success and happiness in the north, and I do not doubt you will fare well amongst the Dunedain. They are a good and noble people, and I could not have chosen better for your guardians than Halbarad’s sons, who are as like him in grace, honour and nobility as it could be hoped for.”

“I thank you, Legolas. Truly. May Elbereth shine upon you as you travel north. I hope you will not find your homeland too badly ravaged by the fighting.”

“Thank you, Pen-ii.” Legolas smiled, bowed his head a little. Then, before he turned to go back to sit with Gimli and the hobbits once more he added, “And do not forget my advice, Pen-ii. It will serve you well, trust me.”

Penny nodded and smiled, albeit at little uncertainly, watching as he headed back towards the fire before heading off towards her tent.

A short time later she had just stepped outside to tip away the water she had used to wash when she heard her name and looked up to see Halladan walking towards her down the line of tents.

“I was looking for you. Are you retiring to rest already?”

“Yes. I left the fire a little while ago.”

“So I understood. I asked Mireth if she had seen you.”

“Ah.”

She tipped away the water down the side of the tent as he reached her. She straightened and looked up at him. He opened his mouth to say something, even as he took in the bowl in her hand and realised that she was indeed readying herself for bed.

“Er… no matter.”

“What was it you wanted, Halladan?”

It occurred to her that perhaps he had been seeking her out so they could separate off from the company together as was becoming their wont. Indeed, this was the first evening in several that they had not spent some time together, or that she had not thought of him and wondered how he fared given everything that had gone on in Helm’s Deep. She felt strangely guilty as a consequence.

“How have you been this evening?”

“We have been busy discussing matters in advance of leaving King Elessar tomorrow. There is much to be done, much to be considered and planned for.”

She nodded, pleased he had had something to occupy him but also noting the fact that he, even as a younger member of the group, had been included in the discussions. Yet again, much like the position he had been given in the funeral procession behind Theoden, she was reminded of the status he and Arvain had simply by virtue of being Halbarad’s sons.

“It was for that reason that I…” He made a gesture to indicate that it was of no consequence. “Aragorn was wondering if I had seen you, since he is trying to make some private farewells this evening, but it will wait till tomorrow. He said not to trouble you if you had already retired, so…” He smiled and shrugged slightly.

Penny did her level best to try not to react in anything other than an ‘oh, was that all?’ sort of fashion, but there was a certain tension about her that Halladan immediately picked up on, his look intensifying a little.

“If I may say so you have seemed a little… out of sorts this evening, Pen-ii.”

Okay, don’t look at him, Penny. Stay calm, stay CALM…

She looked down at the bowl, as if absent-mindedly checking it were still in her grasp before glancing back up and not quite looking him in the eye.

“Really?”

“Well, perhaps no more than usual. I commend you for having tried to stay with the company.”

“I thought it would help to distract me a little. Give me something else to think about.”

Halladan nodded. “I can understand that. It can be hard, when you have so many thoughts weighing upon you…”

He broke off, looking off to his right somewhere at nothing in particular and leaving his sentence unfinished. Penny looked down and could not help but smile quietly to herself a little at how forthcoming he was being with her. It seemed that they were indeed forging some common understanding between each other and that pleased her enormously, not only for her own sake but because it spoke volumes in terms of how much better he was, or had the potential to become, given he could speak in such terms to her.

“Well, I shall leave you.” He nodded once. “I am sorry to have disturbed you. Rest well.”

Penny thanked him and headed back into the tent, relieved that he had not insisted she see Aragorn then and there and that she had chosen to go to bed as early as she had and thus avoided such a possibility. A private audience with him, with any of them, was the last thing she felt she could deal with right now. Not least because there was some small part of her brain that was desperate to have some advice or a second opinion, worrying that she had made the wrong decision and yet too terrified of the potential consequences if she ever spoke of it all. She knew she would have been seriously tempted to break down completely in front of Aragorn and spill all.

No, better to let sleeping dogs lie.

She got under her blanket and lay down, if not to sleep then at least to rest as best she could. Sleep was almost impossible. She lapsed into unconsciousness in the end only through sheer exhaustion, and even then she kept waking every now and then as the anxiety within her filtered through even into her dreams. When she woke she did not feel sick exactly, but certainly had a heavy, cold tension that was physically palpable in her belly, just like she used to get as a child when she knew she had done something her mother would get angry about and it was simply a case of waiting till she heard about it or saw the damage. She just wanted today to be over and done with as quickly as possible.

The tea was running out. They were rationing themselves to a pot every three days now. Today was not a tea day, and when Lindir quipped about how it made a change not to see her drinking it at breakfast, she muttered something about how she was glad he was pleased, how she was sorry she was so unrefined as a mere mortal, but that frankly given how she was feeling she could seriously do with a cuppa right about now, so if he did not mind could he keep his opinions to himself.

She realised she had spoken waspishly but was in no mood to apologise and just left the meal at that point without a word, leaving several raised eyebrows and open mouths in her wake.

Frodo, who had overheard, had got to his feet saying that it would be ‘no trouble at all if they diverted from their plan and put some water on to boil after all,’ but she did not hear him and he was left waving a pot in his hand to her fast retreating back. He sat back down with a shrug.

“Someone got out of the wrong side of the bedroll this morning, I think,” Celebdor murmured.

“I am not saying a word,” Faelon muttered. He caught Celebdor’s eye. “Oh, please, Celebdor, I have a wife and three daughters at home!” He laughed.

“I must say, the bit about being an unrefined mortal was a bit much,” Rhimlath sniffed.

“Actually, I think she mistook me for you, Rhimlath,” Lindir responded quickly, raising chuckles around him. Then, trying to make light of it all, he continued, “Besides, it is not the first time I have had my head bitten off by her. Admittedly not for some time, though.”

“She has not been herself these last few days, ever since we left the Deep,” Arvain replied. “She is missing her family… Halladan, where are you…?”

But Halladan was already gone, heading after her and quickly.

“Pen-ii?”

She did not turn round. She was not in the mood. She knew she was probably making it worse, but she really could not cope with…

“Pen-ii!”

He had caught up with her and took hold of her arm forcing her to stop and turn to him.

“What?!”

“That was uncalled for and you know it. You should apologise.”

She said nothing for a moment, just glared at him, knowing he was right but damned if she was going to admit it. He glared back just as hard. She looked away and down.

“Yes, yes, I know. I will. Just… give me a moment to calm myself.”

“This is not like you.”

“I thought your father explained this was exactly like me.” It had come out far harsher than she had intended. She had meant it to be vaguely jocular and self-effacing, but her irritation and nerves had undermined it entirely. “I mean…”

“He also said you had changed much,” Halladan retorted sharply. “And I have not seen you behave in such a manner in all the time I have known you.”

“I said I would apologise, Halladan, and I will!” She felt embarrassed and awkward now. “Leave me be, will you?!”

She walked off to her tent quickly before he could say anything further. He watched her go, his face unreadable and his brow furrowed.

Penny avoided them all for the rest of the morning, giving up her horse to Mireth and walking with the ellith from her tent. She did make a point, however, of seeking out Lindir and apologising, saying she had slept badly and not been in the best of moods. He smiled and told her to think no more of it, but even as he opened his mouth to say something more she had turned to go, cutting him off before he could ask anything further.

The morning seemed to pass interminably. Penny kept towards the outer edge of the group she was walking with, staring out at the scenery around her. The highway had swung away from the river and now headed straight for the mountains that crossed their path in a steep north-easterly diagonal. For all Penny tried to focus on the songs and quiet chatter around her, or look this way or that, her gaze kept flicking forwards towards the mountains as they loomed larger and nearer with every passing mile, and in particular towards the clear opening between the peaks that the highway was heading straight for: the Nan Curunir, The Wizard’s Vale. The valley itself was formed by two long lines of foothills that pushed outwards from the mountain range behind. Even from a distance the horizon to the east showed the dark green line of Fangorn nestling up against the mountains and reaching close to Nan Curunir itself.

All too soon the hills loomed large before them, and they entered the valley itself. What had been a thorn-choked wilderness under the care of Saruman was now lush and green with meadow grass and flowers. Even though Penny had suspected such a thing, it was still fairly astonishing to see. She could not stop herself from craning her neck to see if she could yet spot Isengard somewhere in the distance, even though she knew it was more than a dozen miles off, deep in the valley. Murmurs from those on horseback nearby, several pointing ahead, meant the elves with their keen eyesight could already make it out well enough. There was a small bubble of excitement within her that she would see it at last, but the reality of her situation swamped it. Her thoughts were mostly focused on what possible reaction might or might not come from what the great and the good would learn from Treebeard once they met him.

And that was another point. She had not forgotten the near phobic reaction she had had to an Ent the last time she had seen one.

“You have been walking all morning. Would you care for a ride?”

She looked up to find Halladan coming alongside her, holding out his hand with a smile, offering to pull her up into the saddle behind him. She hesitated, not really wanting any company.

“Well, I…”

“Come.”

He flapped his hand at her, gesturing for her to take hold of it as he halted his horse. She did so, and barely had time to step on his boot as he had instructed her before she felt him take almost her entire weight and pull her upwards. She swung her leg over the horse’s rump and settled herself behind him. He shifted forwards a little to give her space but she still felt fairly squashed between him and his bedroll.

She was not quite sure what to do with her hands. It felt as if it would be strangely overly familiar to hold him round the waist for some reason, though she would have had no qualms at all in doing so if it had been Lindir, Arvain or anyone else. Given how slowly they were going she felt she could rest her hands on her thighs without any worry of falling off, but even that felt slightly peculiar and awkward, so she opted for holding on to one of his shoulders with one hand.

For a while they said nothing. Then Halladan spoke.

“Lindir told me you had apologised. I am glad.”

“I said I would.”

She hoped that had not come out sounding too aggrieved. There was a pause.

“I did not mean what I said this morning, Halladan. I had meant to jest, but it came out wrong…”

“No need to explain, Pen-ii. It is hard to keep your temper when you are struggling with strong emotions. I know it is difficult for you to see the places you have known so well from your tales. There was no great battle here at Orthanc, but it is the place where the perpetrator of all that came to pass back in the Deep dwells. You know full well, I have no doubt, what will be said to him this day. I can understand why you are somewhat withdrawn and not in the best of spirits.”

Penny said nothing. It was some more minutes before Halladan spoke once more.

“You have been avoiding me yesterday and today. Has my company really become such a burden to you?”

His tone seemed jocular, and Penny felt sure if she could have seen his face he would have been smiling gently. He turned his head a little towards her, as if trying to glance behind him.

“No! I…”

“I had thought I had become a source of comfort, camaraderie or even distraction for you at such times.” He paused. “I… am sorry if I shocked you with what I said to you the night before last.” He was facing forward once more. “Perhaps I should not have been so frank.”

The bitter note to his words made his implication clear: he suspected her opinion of him might have changed as a consequence. Perhaps he suspected that that was why she was avoiding him.

“No, Halladan. That you felt you could trust me enough to confess what you did… You could not have carried such a burden as that alone for the rest of your life. You were right to share it.”

Now it was his turn to say nothing.

“I am sorry if you felt I was avoiding you.” She searched for a reasonable explanation that would be fairly near to the truth. “I think I was avoiding everyone who knew my story well. I just wanted… to try not to think about it for a little while, to avoid any risk of it being mentioned.”

Halladan nodded.

“Perhaps I also felt that you had too much to burden you already without adding my…”

“I have already told you, Pen-ii, that such a thing should not concern you, indeed it helps me to focus on something else for a while.”

Again a glance behind him, this time turning his head far enough that he could just catch her eye and smile quickly before facing ahead once more.

Soon enough the earthen highway became a broad, paved road. From up on a horse Penny did not have to crane this way and that to see the dark pillar rising up in the middle of it ahead of them, though now with no remnant of the white, carven hand that had once sat on top of it. Ahead there should have been somewhere in the distance a faint line of the walls of Isengard, but there was nothing. Elves nearby could be heard saying they could see a garden and trees, and indeed as they got nearer and nearer even Penny could make out the two trees now standing sentinel where the gates once had stood and the tall, thin, black spike of Orthanc rising up behind them.

The knot in Penny’s stomach curled tighter and tighter with every step of the horse’s hooves.

Within an hour they were in front of what once had been the walls of Isengard. The Ents’ work was plain for all to see. No remnant of the buildings, walls, pits or works remained. The mile-diameter bowl that the walls had encompassed was filled with flowers and trees, a broad path leading down to the spike of rock itself that loomed out of a small lake at the centre of the circle.

It was quite beautiful.

Or it might have been if the tower of Orthanc itself did not seem so dark and black, so sheer and imposing. It seemed utterly incongruous to its surroundings.

There was no sign of any Ents that Penny could see as she and Halladan dismounted. For that she was quite glad. Everyone was making ready for lunch, glad to be able to rest in such pleasant surroundings. Penny let Halladan lead her over to what she thought would be to join Mireth and the others who were busily helping Naurdir unload fruit, cured meats and the last few hunks of cheese and two-day-old bread.

Instead he meandered through the crowd until he spotted Aragorn standing to one side, talking with Faelon and the Dunadan with the eye-patch that Penny had danced with at Minas Tirith, while two servants unfurled a carpet, laid it on the grass, and then hurried off to fetch some lunch. Various members of the Gondorian Royal Guard stood round about nearby, and several Dunedain were mingling with them.

“Ah, Pen-ii!” Aragorn smiled as he caught sight of them. “I was too late to catch you last night, it seems.”

The one-eyed Dunadan murmured something, bowed slightly and headed away, though not without smiling a greeting at Halladan and Penny first. Faelon too made his excuses and left.

“We have some time while they unload the stores, so I thought perhaps now might be...”

“Yes, yes, Halladan, of course.” Aragorn gestured to the blanket. “Come. Sit.”

Once settled, Aragorn explained he had only wanted to make sure that he had a few words with Penny before they parted company.

“After all, you are off to live amongst my people and in the care of those I love dearly. You will become something near to kin to me yourself as a consequence, you know.” He grinned as Penny wriggled uncomfortably. “Ah, come now, Pen-ii, you must be looking forward to it, no?”

“Yes… and no, in truth.”

“Oh?”

Aragorn exchanged an amused glance with Halladan.

“I have much to learn, and am so very unskilled in so much that I am sure is considered basic and essential…” She sighed. “I will do my best and learn what I can, but I fear it will not be enough. That and…” She glanced guiltily at them. They raised eyebrows at her. “Well, I am sure they will find me very peculiar. Perhaps not as peculiar as the Gondorians and Rohirrim have found me, but even so.”

Aragorn laughed then, as did Halladan.

“Oh, have no fear, Pen-ii. They will treat you well and pay any deficiencies you may have no mind. I know Faelon likes you well, and Morfinniel is such that she will take to you instantly for his sake alone, let alone the fact that Halbarad would have taken you under his wing. You have the patronage of those who are well loved and respected amongst the Dunedain. That will serve you well. Your worries are understandable, but ill-founded. Believe me.”

Penny nodded to indicate that she felt sure he was right and that she would do her best to remember it.

Aragorn then went on to talk of how he felt sure she would love the north, with its rolling hills and greenery, as much as he; how she would have to learn to make a particular form of stew if only so she could make it for him when he was next able to travel north (“and I shall expect it to be as good as my mother’s, mark you, Pen-ii, so have Morfinniel teach you well”); how Halladan and Arvain had both assured him that they would take good care of her, see to her every need and make sure she lacked for nothing.

And the more he talked, the worse she felt. Here he was talking about the north in terms that showed his clear love for it and its people, and all she could think about was the hordes of who knew what heading there even as they spoke, if not already wandering abroad terrorising the locals.

She wondered if he would be very angry with her when next they met?

She had not noticed that Aragorn had broken off from his monologue.

“Pen-ii?”

He looked at Halladan who in turn quietly said her name and touched her arm. She looked up at them both.

“I am sorry. Forgive me.”

“King Elessar was talking to you, Pen-ii…”

Aragorn held up his hand and shook his head gently at Halladan, staying his gentle rebuke. He leaned forward.

“Pen-ii, what is the matter? Is something troubling…? Ah, Elrond. Yes, please do join us. I was just having a few private words with Pen-ii here before I leave her in your care and Halladan’s charge.”

“Ah, indeed? Well, she is more your responsibility than mine nowadays, Estel, given she is to be under the protection of the Dunedain.”

Elrond sat down, inclining his head to Penny and murmuring a greeting to Halladan.

The servants had returned with basic victuals, Celeborn and Galadriel were making their way across to join them, the hobbits with them, and the moment for any private talk was broken. Penny got to her feet and thanked Aragorn for all the kindness he had shown her, promising him, for Halbarad’s sake, that she would do her very best amongst the Dunedain to learn whatever skills she needed and to fit in.

“I do not doubt you will, Pen-ii.” He smiled. “Go eat.”

Halladan and Penny wended their way back through the throng, most now seated and chatting quietly as they ate, till they found Arvain, Mireth, Lindir and the others. Penny forced herself to eat, for form’s sake, but it was a monumental effort on her part. She did try to listen to the conversation around her, joining in with smiles when laughter erupted, but her gaze returned again and again to the jet black tower nearby.

“It is rather imposing, is it not?” Lindir replied as she dragged her eyes away from it once again and happened to catch his eye in the process. Slightly flummoxed she just nodded dumbly.

“Hmph. I hope they lock him up and throw away the key,” Faelon rumbled darkly.

“Is he to be shown no compassion for his past?” Mireth asked quietly. “What he did was dreadful, but under the influence of Sauron… He did much while on The White Council, do not forget.”

“Tell that to the families of the dead in Rohan,” Faelon replied.

“I know,” Mireth replied. “I do not forgive or exonerate him. I only meant that…”

“He bred orcs and humans, Mireth!” Penny suddenly cut in.

“We do not know that for certain,” Lindir said quietly.

“How else do you explain the ability of the Uruk of Orthanc to withstand sunlight?”

There was a strained, awkward silence, both that she had been quite so frank and outspoken but also as everyone there focused on the appalling implications of how Saruman might have achieved such a breeding programme.

Penny pushed aside her food.

“Excuse me.”

She got to her feet and walked away.

She found her horse in amongst the rest. She rummaged in her saddle bag and got out Erestor’s book of poetry, thinking that at least she could lose herself in that for the time that they were camped here since it seemed like proceedings would take a little while yet. She took herself with it to the edge of the large group of travellers, very deliberately faced away from Orthanc and sat cross-legged, her chin in one hand as she read.

It was some time before anyone came to join her. She was in the middle of re-reading the same line for the fifth time when she looked up to find both Halladan and Lindir making their way towards her, Lindir calling her name.

“Fancy a walk around the place?” he asked when they had reached her.

Penny considered the options: to wander about a place she would have strongly preferred never to have visited, or else sit, wait, fail to read poetry and instead let her mind wind herself up more and more.

“Yes. Thank you. I could do with a distraction.”

“Poetry not working?” Halladan grinned.

“Not this time, no. Um… I am not sure I would make good company.”

Best to get her excuses for not being talkative out of the way in advance, she felt. It would save awkward questions later.

“Oh, you will not be company for us, Pen-ii,” said Lindir with a wide smile, taking her arm. “We will be company for you. Right, Halladan?”

Halladan chuckled while Lindir grabbed Penny’s book and led her off on a gentle ramble, doing a wide circuit of the gardens of Orthanc while he and Halladan talked over the top of her head about this, that and the other. Not once did they refer to where they were. Not once did they mention Saruman or indeed anything to do with the War or Gandalf, Aragorn or anyone else of note. They spoke quite a bit of the north, of favourite plants or landscapes, arguing gently about where was the best spot to watch the sunset or sunrise, or the best season for particular flowers.

The discussion did get slightly off track when Penny was warned about a particular plant that, when its leaves were crushed, gave off a highly unpleasant smell that hard scrubbing would only just get rid of and even then it might take several goes (and days) to really wear off. Needless to say Lindir was the expert.

“Father said you used it on Elladan once…”

“That’s a lie! I never used it on him. … I put it in his bed.”

Halladan laughed loud and Penny, despite her mood, could not help but join him.

“But why in Arda would you…?”

“Oh, it was part of a long-running feud between the two of us for a little while when he was younger. Needless to say poor Elrond was nearly driven to distraction by it. I think the incident with the weasel was the final straw, though.”

“HA! I can remember Grandfather telling me about that!”

“Well, it has gone down in history, it has to be said. But then if Elladan would insist on trying to pull a prank on me of all people…”

“I would never have put Elladan down as the type.”

“Precisely, Pen-ii, which is why the weasel incident went so horribly wrong. Of course, it was rather unfortunate that it should have happened while Lord Celeborn was visiting us and they were out hunting… Yes, I should probably explain for your benefit, Pen-ii. Elladan spirited up a weasel from somewhere and left it in my chambers for me to discover. I had been forewarned by Erestor who, at Elrond’s bidding, was trying to put a stop to the tit-for-tat, so I was able to catch the thing and return the favour by waiting for an opportune moment and then sneaking it into Elladan’s pack the next time he went out riding.”

“Which happened to be as part of a hunting party with his father and Lord Celeborn among others…”

“He was still a fairly young ellon and desperate to impress, and he was always rather keen on making a good appearance…”

Penny smirked, remembering how Elladan had reacted long ago to having lent her his comb.

“…which is why he felt rather aggrieved by it all afterwards,” Lindir continued. “Anyway, when he heard scrabbling from inside his pack he, of course, investigated…”

“…and had to be sent back to Imladris with a rather nasty bite on his finger…”

“…blood all down his new, dove-grey tunic …”

“…and a bandage on his hand the size of marrow.”

Penny shook her head at Lindir.

“You are incorrigible, you know that?”

“Is it true Elrond sent you to Lothlorien for a few years after that?”

Halladan grinned cheekily at him. Lindir ignored him.

“‘Incorrigible’, Pen-ii? That is a rather long word. Erestor’s poetry is clearly working wonders.”

“The word ‘incorrigible’ is not in any of the poetry in Erestor’s book…”

“Or Erestor’s poetry.”

“Eh?”

“This is mostly his work.” He waggled the book at her. “Did he not tell you?”

“No.”

Lindir grinned. “I am not the only one with some little talent in Imladris, you know.”

“I do not doubt that for a moment, but I would never have assumed… I mean, most elves would be capable of…”

She saw Lindir’s expression and realised that, no, apparently in his opinion not all elves would be capable of the quality of poetry in that book. She smiled, faintly proud and pleased to have got to know Erestor’s work without having known he wrote any of it, and having loved it and told him so entirely without prejudice.

“It is very good. Superb. I told him so, too.”

“Good. Quite right too. And speaking of which, I had better head back to the main group. I hope we have provided a good diversion for a little while, Pen-ii. If you will insist on not asking for such things, then we have to take it upon ourselves to provide it. With time your pain will ease, and we must help to make the time pass that much more quickly if we can.”

Penny smiled, and would have said something except he spoke before she could do so.

“You are welcome. I will see you both in a little while.”

So saying, he handed back Penny her book and headed off towards the main encampment, though by now it was a fairly straggly affair with people wandering about hither and yon admiring the work of the Ents.

Halladan and Penny shared a smile before Halladan turned to carry on walking in the same direction they had been going. For a while they were silent, and when he spoke at last it was to pick up where the conversation had left off by saying that he had it on good authority (namely his father and grandfather) that while Elladan had been forbidden from retaliating by his father, Elrohir had acted for him and, the night before Lindir had left Imladris to accompany Lord Celeborn back to Lothlorien for a spell there, Elrohir had filled his entire chambers with the plant that had first brought the whole sorry saga about, and that included making sure it was in every drawer, every wardrobe, in the pocket of every tunic and inside every boot.

Apparently Celeborn had insisted on Lindir riding downwind of him for most of the journey there.

When Penny had recovered from her fit of hysterical giggles, she found Halladan smiling broadly at her.

“What?”

“Nothing. It is good to see you laugh, that is all. These past few days…” He made a half-shrugging gesture. “No matter. Shall we carry on walking?”

They did so and, after some time, Halladan glanced up, squinted and held his hand to his eyes. Even as he did so Penny could hear a dull, rumbling sound coming out of the mountain foothills to their left. As she looked in the direction Halladan was gazing she saw a great, tall… tree, for want of any other description, striding down the hill, hrumphing and booming as it went.

Treebeard.

Something in Penny’s throat made a strangled squeaking noise and she stepped closer to Halladan, grabbing for his arm and positioning herself slightly behind him so he was between her and Treebeard, even though Treebeard was quite some distance from them and making a beeline for the gardens of Orthanc and thus not likely to come anywhere near them.

Halladan glanced at her and laughed.

“It is not funny.”

“Well, no, it is not in truth. What in Arda are you afraid of?”

“I do not know, and I know it is ridiculous, but… does it not make you feel strange to see a tree walking about?”

Halladan shrugged.

“No stranger than seeing the ghosts of the dead fight, and far less unnerving.”

Fair point.

As they watched Treebeard cross their path, Penny knew that he was on his way to meet Gandalf and the rest. Whatever in her mood had been dissipated by the efforts of Lindir and Halladan came back in a rush, and when Halladan turned to ask if they should continue walking or head back, his question died on his lips.

“What is it?”

“Nothing.”

“I can see it is not nothing.”

He glanced at Orthanc, Treebeard now having disappeared into the gardens.

“We should probably head back, should we not?”

She tried to sound inconsequential despite feeling almost sick with nervousness now. When she looked up at him it was to find he was studying her closely.

He was not buying it.

“What happens here, Pen-ii?” He paused, as if allowing her time to reply. “I have seen how changed you have become these last few days and it is not all grief, for I have seen you in such moments also.”

“Please, Halladan.”

“You think I cannot see the state you are in? You have become withdrawn, distressed…”

She turned and walked away, utterly unable to deal with this right now, but he was still talking to her.

“What kind of guardian, what friend would I be if I did not insist on helping you or that you talk to me? Have you not insisted on the same with me in my turn? Pen-ii!”

She stopped but did not turn round.

“Do you forget that we Dunedain have the gift of foresight also? It can be a heavy burden and I fear for you, you have changed so markedly in recent days…”

“He is not there.”

He would find out almost the moment he got back to the others. What did it matter now?

“What?”

Only now did she turn back to him.

“He is not in Orthanc. Saruman. Treebeard let him go some days ago, a week or more.”

She stood, looking at him for a moment, taking in his disbelief, confusion and astonishment. She made to leave once more.

“Wait… This was why you were so alarmed at being here?”

It was a rhetorical question. She could see that by the way he was not looking at her, almost talking out loud to himself while he processed the significance of this information and her behaviour to date. When he looked at her at last, she knew he had realised. His entire face had changed to one of disbelief and concern.

“He heads north. That was what you would not tell us.”

She did not reply. What would be the point? It alarmed her that he had made the connection so quickly, made her genuinely fearful of what might happen with Gandalf and the rest. Meanwhile, Halladan had understood her silence as the affirmation it was.

“But, Pen-ii, he is broken! He is nothing like the power he ever used to be. He is weak, a mere shell of what he was. Besides, the influence of Sauron over him has gone… What is it? Why are you shaking your head?”

“All that is true, Halladan, but he is still capable of…” She sighed. “He is malicious and vindictive, full of spite and bile. He might not wield the power he did, but he will still do what little he can, simply because he can.” She glanced up to see the confusion in Halladan’s gaze, knew he wanted more explanation. “Please, Halladan, I cannot… I do not want you to be…”

He stepped forward then, took hold of her by the arms.

“Listen to me, Pen-ii. I am more than capable of making my own decisions. I am well aware that what you might tell me will be hard for me to hear. That much was clear in Minas Tirith. I have guessed at the truth. Now tell me all.”

She looked at him for several moments, trying to blink away the tears and failing.

“But…”

“Tell me.”

“You would have to…”

“I know. Tell me. Would it not help you to share this with someone rather than keep it all within yourself?”

Yes. Yes, it would. She vaguely remembered Legolas advising her to do more or less exactly that only the night before. She looked at him, worried and fearful, but the strength of resolve she saw in his eyes, the confident reassurance, decided it for her.

So she told him. Perhaps not in blow by blow detail, but enough that he understood the significance of Saruman’s departure. He had taken her by the hand and insisted they sit as she had begun to talk, and fairly soon he had his elbows on his knees, his head in his hands as he listened. When he said they had to stop it, she told him of the great benefit that would come from how Merry, Pippin and Sam would deal with it all, how they would become heroes amongst their own people whereas what they were already known as heroes for in the rest of Middle-earth would be largely ignored and ill understood.

“Besides, who is to say even if Saruman were not there, the men and half-orcs would not make their way into Suza anyway? Indeed, by having Saruman draw them to one place does that not possibly make your job a little easier?”

“That is not the point.”

“I know, but… change it and who knows what might happen? This way it is certain, the end is known: Saruman dies.”

“Mireth was right, Pen-ii. He has done great evil, but he was under Sauron’s thrall. He was once a great wizard, a member of the White Council…”

So she then told him how Aragorn would bring Gimli with him at some point in the next year or so to Orthanc and how they would find the place stuffed full of treasures from near and far.

“So he is a thief and hoarder of treasure…”

“No, he has been looking for something. For long years. Long before he knew of kuduk travelling with the Nine Walkers and what one of them carried.”

Halladan stared at her in shock.

“They will find a door so well hidden that only a dwarf would be able to discern it was there, let alone open it. Behind it they will find a locket on a chain… and the Elendilmir.”

Halladan blinked at her as comprehension dawned, barely able to believe what she was telling him.

“The Elendilmir?”

She nodded and then watched as Halladan’s face paled and his eyes blazed.

“He found Isildur?” The question was ground out through clenched teeth.

“It is said that… he… burnt the bones.”

Halladan exploded at that point. Literally jumped to his feet and roared his fury to the skies. Penny did not ask for a translation.

Of course, then Halladan was all for telling Aragorn and the others so that Saruman could be ‘hunted down and run through like the dog he was,’ indeed Penny suspected Halladan would happily take on the job himself, but she then had to point out that he only had her word for it, that she was talking about things that would only be discerned with hindsight and only proved with time. Not only that, but Gandalf was wise beyond mortal understanding and yet when he would meet Saruman on the road, he would let him go on his way, even though he would remark ‘the snake still had one tooth’ and could be capable of mischief.

And then she told him about Galadriel’s gift to Sam, the dust that would make the Shire bloom and grow like it never had before, and the mallorn that would replace the party tree.

“But if she has foresight then why have you not…?”

“Because I do not know for certain she has, nor the precise nature of it and I dare not risk influencing those who will meet him on the road in any way by trying to find out, Halladan!”

She waited while he came to sit next to her once more.

“You have to promise me, Halladan, no one can know any of this. Not yet.”

“I cannot promise you, Pen-ii.”

“What?! But I would never have…”

“This is too momentous, Pen-ii.” He looked at her. “Do kuduk die?”

Oh, this was not fair. Tears pricked her eyes once more.

“Yes, but…”

“Well, then.”

“No, Halladan! They die in their fight to throw out the men, just as men have died in battle in Rohan and Gondor! Gah, I do not know. Please, Halladan, do not do this to me! Do you think I have not worried and agonised about this, looked at it from every angle?! I am barely sleeping… Please, Halladan!”

“I am not saying I will speak of it, Pen-ii. I… I need time to consider everything you have told me. If I feel I cannot hold my peace then I will talk with you first, indeed would insist you accompany me.”

Penny stared at him, shattered, but in a strange way also vaguely grateful that part of this might be taken out of her hands. Halladan forced a smile at her.

“Come, we had best head back. I cannot say I am glad to learn what the future may yet bring. It saddens and shocks me greatly, but I can understand what you say about the merit within it. Whether that is enough to justify…” He saw the expression on her face and cut himself short. “You have my word I shall keep this to myself for as long as I feel I can, but I cannot promise you that I will not speak of this. You trust my judgement, do you not?”

She nodded.

“And I think we can both agree that I know something of the people involved perhaps better than you. Well, then,” he held out his hand for her to stand as he got to his feet, “in the meantime you have someone who knows what you carry, with whom you can talk freely. That is something, is it not?”

“Halladan, I…” She looked up at him, tears pricking her eyes. “I am so sorry.”

“Well, I cannot say you have not provided me with something else to think about besides my own burden.” A rueful half-chuckle. “Come, they will be missing us soon if we do not hurry.”

Author’s Note:

The details of Saruman’s past, much of which I have not gone into here but Penny would have no doubt gone through with Halladan, such as his lasting jealousy and resentment towards Gandalf, which began even before they left Valinor, and his focusing on the Shire long ago solely because Gandalf had an interest in the place, let alone what he did with Isildur’s remains in his search for The One, can all be found in Unfinished Tales.

I think I have mentioned this before in Author’s Notes, but for those unfamiliar with the story it is as Penny has explained to Halladan, the significance of it being that Saruman’s search for the One Ring had been going on for centuries – long before Sauron moved back to Mordor and thus was able to influence him via the Palantir.

As ever, my sincere thanks and appreciation to everyone still reading this and those who leave comments, reviews and get in touch.

My sincere apologies for the length of time this chapter took to get done.