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Okay, NOW Panic!  by Boz4PM

Chapter 14"I Won't Dance, Don't Ask Me"


The feast was held in a huge glade that was very near the centre of Caras Galadhon. Dusk was gathering, the shadows deepening, as Penny made her way with Mireth, Celebdor, Eleniel and Lindir down paths and over rivulets till at last they reached the spot. Lanterns intricately crafted from various precious metals were hung all round about. They were highly polished and many filled with coloured glass or even bejewelled, so the light shining out from them was changed and reflected in ways that was truly stunning.

There were too many people for there to be tables where all could sit to eat. Instead awnings were stretched between trees at certain points on the edge of the clearing and cushions placed underneath on intricately designed rugs so that people could sit and chatter if they felt so inclined. Already music was playing, and at one end at least three large deer were being spit-roasted. A table nearby was crammed with foodstuffs including cakes and sweetmeats, fruit and whole stuffed birds (big enough to be geese or possibly even swans), and much more besides. Next to that were great kegs of wine and cups enough for everyone. A sort of mulled wine or punch had also been made, and stood in a huge vat with a ladle attached to it by a chain. Garlands of flowers were hung round about, looking as if they had only just been fresh picked. Greenery was strung out across the huge gap between the trees, twisted into great leafy ropes with yet more lanterns dangling from them. There were not many, though, and they were sparsely spaced out since, once night fell, the moon would be nearly full and the stars bright giving quite a bit of natural light.

Penny stood, gobsmacked, trying to take it all in.

"Now, this is a party," Celebdor grinned.

Penny nodded, dully, vaguely aware that the entire place was filled with extraordinarily beautiful beings milling about in an extraordinarily beautiful manner. There had been the feast after the War, of course, but she had known or recognised all the people that had attended that. There were easily twice as many people here, well over half of them strangers, and the 'jaw-droppingly beautiful in a way that made you want to weep' effect was only multiplied tenfold when you got this many elves together and with them all dressed up to the nines.

Penny had a sudden flash of how the royal wedding might be.

'Yay for me and my boring little English human-ness,' she thought. 'Not.'

Lindir was almost immediately lost in the crowd, as was Celebdor, dragging Mireth with him. Eleniel introduced Penny to several ellyn that stepped forward, clearly recognising Eleniel from her previous visit to Lothlorien many years before. Penny was then left stranded with them as one of them dragged Eleniel off for a dance.

Penny was happy enough, though. There was so much to take in and her Sindarin was fluent enough that she could happily eavesdrop on conversations or make herself understood if someone stopped to chat.

She spotted Rhimlath, dressed in a dark forest green and gold. He was deep in earnest conversation with two other ellyn and Erestor. For all his pompous verbosity, Rhimlath was a kindly soul. He immediately realised Penny was feeling a bit at a loss and insisted she have a dance.

"Oh, no, really, I do not think-"

As usual Rhimlath did not even seem to comprehend that 'no' was a word in most people's vocabulary. Penny thus found herself in the middle of a dance that was a little faster and more complicated than the one or two she had tried before.

"Argh! I am sorry! I did try and warn you!" she blurted out as she trod on his toes for the third time.

"No matter!" he beamed back at her, whirling her round into the arms of another ellon before she could say anything more.

"Hello there," Lindir grinned at her as he took hold of her from Rhimlath.

"Oh," was about all the response Penny could summon up before she was back hand in hand with Rhimlath and being half dragged round the clearing once more.

Once it was all over she insisted she needed a sit down. She staggered to the sides as Rhimlath commandeered a slightly more willing partner for the next dance.

"Oh, dear. Rhimlath is enthusiastic in all he puts his mind to, is he not?" Arwen was laughing.

"My head is spinning. And I have not had a drop to drink yet."

Arwen laughed all the more.

"I think you did rather well, considering."

"Considering what, that I cannot dance? Or that he was impeded by my standing on his feet half the time?"

Arwen grinned. "A bit of practice and you will be as good as any here."

Penny raised an eyebrow. "You flatter me over much, Lady Arwen, as you well know. But I thank you for the sentiment and encouragement."

"Well, I have a feeling you will be getting in quite a bit of practice in the times to come. There will be dancing most nights while we are here, and more than likely in Rohan and certainly in Minas Tirith."

Oh, joy.

Her heart sank.

"Very well done, Pen-ii." Erestor came over to them. "As a first attempt at that kind of dance, that was not at all bad. I think Rhimlath would agree."

"Perhaps. Not sure his toes would, though."

And so the evening progressed. The roast venison was superb, the wine light and plentiful, the music cheering and rousing, the dancing never-ending, the chatter inconsequential and filled with joking and laughter. It was a wonderful evening.

"Pen-ii, I would like you to meet a friend of mine."

Lindir grabbed her as she wandered past him with a cup of wine for herself and one for Eleniel. A tall, blond ellon with a slightly serious face and the thick-set shoulders of an archer was standing next to him.

"Orophin, this is Lady Pen-ii who has been staying with us in Imladris under the protection of Lord Elrond. Pen-ii, this is Orophin, a Galadhrim and someone I got to know when I was last here in Lothlorien."

Orophin inclined his head ever so slightly and murmured something about it being an honour. Penny, several glasses of wine downed already, had to stop herself grinning like a loon as she responded in kind.

"Lady Pen-ii was eager to meet you," Lindir continued.

Penny stared at him, appalled. What was he playing at?

"She is most interested in Lothlorien, its history and ways. I feel sure she would wish to know something of life as a border guard. When I said I knew one she asked me expressly to introduce you."

"Really? Ah, well, in that case you must meet my brothers also."

Ah, so THAT was what Lindir was playing at. Orophin disappeared off to find them, giving Penny an opportunity to thank Lindir.

"Flattery will get you everywhere with an elf," he replied. "Had you not realised that?"

"Oh, believe me, I had. That or goading them."

"You did not need to smile quite so broadly at his mentioning his brothers, you know."

Penny gasped. "I did not!"

"You most certainly did. Are they really so well known in this story of yours?"

"No. I mean… Haldir perhaps, but…" She decided to switch tack. "You are mentioned as well. I probably would have been grinning the first time I met you properly if I had not been so scared of the horses and the idea of getting on one."

"Really?" That seemed to bolster Lindir somewhat. He puffed out his chest with pride a little.

"What was that about flattery?" Penny muttered, sniggering.

Orophin returned with Haldir. Rúmil was nowhere to be found. He was probably busy dancing or drinking, so Penny was informed. Haldir was most gracious, and he and his brother answered her questions most politely. They had both been at Dol Guldur, but then so had most of the warrior Galadhrim, it transpired. In fact as soon as the conversation had turned to that subject, she was forgotten. Orophin and Haldir, with the help of other ellyn nearby who were now joining in, told Lindir all about it practically blow by blow. At one point Haldir insisted on rolling up his sleeve and showing Lindir the long scar on his right forearm he still had from an orcish blade during that fight.

Penny suddenly realised that in amongst all the beauty around her she could see the odd fainter line on the skin of one or two faces or hands in the crowd. She now spotted that one of the ellyn who was helping to serve wine had lost two fingers, while another she could see nearby either had his arm strapped up under his tunic or else had lost part or all of the limb since one sleeve was pinned to his side.

Penny found it quite distressing once she had started noticing it, and once started she could not stop.

"Is this conversation your doing?" a quiet voice asked in her ear. She turned. Elrond was smiling gently.

"Yes, I am afraid. Though…" She gestured to the group of ellyn discussing tactics, battle moves, and describing death-defying moments in graphic detail (as well as bickering over their respective death counts, of course). "It seems to have gained a life all of its own."

Elrond chuckled. "Well, if you will start warriors off on these topics."

At which point he waded in with tales of derring-do on the slopes of Orodruin.

Penny blinked and looked slightly bewildered. What the hell had she started? Not that she was complaining – it was all fascinating, if a little alarming.

It was Galadriel who came to her rescue.

"Now, now, now," she clapped her hands as she glided towards them. "Enough of all this talk. This is a feast of celebration that we have so many friends and loved ones with us for the first time in so very long. Could we keep stories of beheaded orcs and dismembered trolls for another time, do we think?"

"What is all this?" Celeborn was beside her almost instantly. "What did I miss? Boasting again, Elrond?"

"Not exactly," Elrond retorted.

"Now, I could tell you a tale or two from Doriath-"

"What did I just say?" Galadriel interrupted him. "They need no encouraging. Besides, there are all these delightful ellyth that need dance partners and you are all standing about comparing notes on gruesome battle details. For shame! I need a dance partner, Arwen will be free for the next dance… Lady Pen-ii here will need a partner also. Haldir, are you free perhaps?"

Haldir looked nearly as startled and taken aback by this suggestion as Penny did. He recovered himself well, though.

"But of course, my lady."

"Ah, no, you see… um, wine… Eleniel..." Penny waved the two cups at them all. "Another time perhaps. Forgive me, Lord Haldir."

She fled.

"Lord? Lord Haldir?" Orophin was laughing hysterically.

"She was just being polite. As a Secondborn it was most proper and generous of her." Haldir's tone made it clear he felt Orophin could probably learn a thing or two from Lady Pen-ii.

Not long after that the music stopped and a hush fell on the crowd. Celeborn and Elrond both said a few words, invoking blessings on the coming union as well as on the lasting friendship and alliance between the peoples of Imladris and Lothlorien. It suddenly occurred to Penny that the date for most of them sailing West had perhaps not yet been decided upon. She knew full well there would be some that would stay – Celeborn for start would not sail with his wife – but the wording made it all seem so open-ended, as if it would continue just as it had done, and yet she knew that not one elf standing there thought that things had not changed, that now Sauron was gone their time was come at last.

They had been waning before; now the mantle had truly been passed over to the mortal races.

As she scanned the crowd, sitting next to Eleniel, she spotted Haldir and Orophin chatting with a third ellon who bore so strikingly a similar resemblance to them that he had to be Rúmil. Rúmil did seem to be teetering slightly, and thus obviously had indeed been camped out at the wine table earlier as had been suggested.

In a flash, Penny realised that within her line of sight were Haldir and his brothers, Celeborn, Elrond, Erestor and Glorfindel. In the same split second that she realised this, and entirely without warning, snatches of nearly every slash fic she had ever come across were speeding through her brain.

'Thank God the twins and Legolas aren't here!'

To her horror she then realised that, the speeches over, Galadriel was meandering through the crowd and heading her direction. Of course, the more she tried to not think about a fictional Glorfindel seducing an equally fictional Erestor or an out of character Haldir mooning about over an overly effete Legolas, the more it refused to leave her brain. She tried focusing on the first tune that came to her, but that was not helped by the minstrels starting up nearby and playing something completely different. In desperation she ended up sticking her fingers in her ears and humming along to The Ride of the Valkyries.

"Pen-ii? Are you well?"

Penny lifted her head and took her fingers out of her ears sheepishly. "Yes, yes, I am fine, Eleniel…" Eleniel could see that something was troubling her, though. "Talk to me, Eleniel. Talk to me about anything. I need to think about something."

"But of course."

Eleniel somehow seemed to take this request completely within her stride despite Penny's desperate and faintly pleading tone. She started pointing out the minute detail in the embroidery on all the tunics and dresses nearby. She explained the stitches, the beading used, the threads, how the threads were dyed and so on.

Penny was so grateful.

"Lady Pen-ii," Galadriel murmured as she came up to them. "Lady Eleniel. You are having a pleasant evening, I trust?"

"Oh, yes, indeed, my Lady." Eleniel beamed.

Penny nodded, smiling, but concentrating very hard on the intricate flower detailing on the sleeve of Galadriel's dress. If Galadriel noticed she did not say anything and immediately moved on.

Penny let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you, Eleniel. Thank you so much."

Eleniel smiled. "It can get like that sometimes. When the foresight comes upon you, it can be hard to think about something else." She spoke as if from experience.

Penny glanced at her. Far better to let her think that was what had happened than even consider trying to explain.

"Any time, Pen-ii, you just ask." She smiled.

Penny was suddenly struck by what a good friend she had in Eleniel. "I cannot thank you enough," she said quietly.

"Nonsense," Eleniel laughed. "I know you would do the same for me. Now, shall we have another cup of wine, or shall we try and find someone to give us a dance?"

They must have overheard because almost immediately several ellyn appeared and offered their hands to Eleniel simultaneously. She blushed and giggled and accepted the nearest one to her. The ones that were left then offered to take Penny for a spin round the glade, but Penny refused after hearing the speed of the tune, let alone seeing the kind of complex steps and turns involved.

A little later in the evening, she finally managed to meet Rúmil, though it was not quite the encounter she might have expected or wanted. He was really quite tipsy at that point and had interrupted Rhimlath as he passed by on some point of information Rhimlath was busy pontificating about. Rhimlath seemed irritated at first and then outraged when everyone agreed Rúmil had a point. It would seem Rhimlath, for all his gentleness, felt his intellectual bookishness was his pride and joy and did not take correction easily. He conceded the point but glared daggers at Rúmil for a good few minutes afterwards.

Penny felt quite sorry for him. Rúmil had not been tactful, but then he had had one too many, so it was hardly surprising. She would have offered to give Rhimlath a dance to take his mind off it except she felt in no position to do so and also felt Rhimlath's feet would not have recovered sufficiently from the last time.

The conversation turned. Celebdor suddenly asked Penny if she had recovered from her 'alarming experience'. Penny blinked and then realised Rhimlath and Lindir had been busy 'not keeping their mouths shut' about her vertigo attack.

She was busily explaining that it was nothing, really, and she was determined to crack it next time and get up to a talan even if it killed her when Rúmil interrupted her suddenly by declaring he wanted a dance. He looked around to see no elleth near him except Mireth who had Celebdor by the hand. He turned back to Penny.

'Oh, no…!' Penny felt her stomach drop.

Before she knew what was happening, Penny found Rúmil practically dragging her onto the floor. She noted Lindir, rather than backing up her protests, was telling Rúmil that this was a very good idea and she needed to learn a few more steps. He had a huge grin on his face. She decided she would have to get him back for that at some point.

"Mind out for your toes though, Rúmil," Lindir shouted at him as they disappeared into the throng.

Penny could have happily throttled him.

The pace was fast, the steps insanely complicated and Penny gave up trying almost instantly. Rúmil was drunk enough to have energy for the both of them, though, and steamed about the dance area more or less carrying her through the entire thing. He seemed determined to treat her as if she was actually as tall as an elleth, thus holding her round the waist half the time with a grip strong enough to ensure her feet dangled a good few inches off the floor.

After a while, she had got the hang of the basic moves and managed to do those without the fancy footwork or too many twirls. She almost began to enjoy herself. Rúmil was grinning and nodding as if encouraging her and that helped increase her confidence. It was boosted further when he refused to let her sit down after the tune had ended and insisted she dance a further two turns with him.

At the end of it all she was ready to collapse.

Rúmil picked her up, carried her to the edge to where Eleniel and Mireth were seated, both clearly highly entertained by this performance, and unceremoniously plonked her on a pile of cushions next to them.

"Wait there and I will get us a drink." So saying, he disappeared once more.

Penny struggled to get her breath back. She glanced at the two ellith who dissolved into laughter.

"What is it with ellyn not realising I do not wish to dance?" Penny exclaimed, bewildered.

"Ah, but we all enjoy dancing. There is not anyone who does not enjoy it."

"Indeed, it is as Eleniel says. I think also they wish to help you learn a little."

"Any opportunity to show off their skills, whether as a dancer or tutor."

"Ah, I see. I think the latter is probably more to do with it," Penny muttered.

Mireth laughed. "I think you are right. Especially where Rúmil is concerned, I suspect."

Rúmil brought back drinks for all four of them. He had barely handed out the wine before he had downed his and was asking Eleniel for a turn. Eleniel hesitated but, just like Penny before her, got little chance to refuse since Rúmil was already bending down to grasp her hand and pull her to her feet.

"Er…" was all Eleniel managed as she glanced back over her shoulder at Mireth and Penny.

They merely smirked, laughed and waved her farewell by way of response.

Penny and Mireth's giggling was interrupted by a serious voice asking if Penny would forgive Rúmil his boisterousness.

"But of course, Lord Orophin. I was flattered, truth be told."

"Ah, well, that is good of you, Lady Pen-ii. Even so…"

Orophin glanced behind him a little anxiously to where his brother was busy bouncing Eleniel round the glade. Eleniel was enjoying it, but there was a faint look of alarm to her eyes, as if she feared he may let go any second and she would be sent flying into the crowd.

In the end Haldir and Orophin had to practically sit on Rúmil at the request of various ellith (and their respective husbands, fiancés, brothers or fathers) since he was getting a tad over-exuberant. Not only that but he had been spotted making a beeline for Galadriel. Lord Celeborn would not have been amused.

Thus, when Penny finally admitted defeat and was found falling asleep in the corner of an awning in the early hours while around her the feasting showed no sign of slowing down anytime soon, Rúmil was packed off to show her the way back to the glade where they were camped. This ensured that not only would she not get lost but also that he would get some air, burn off some energy and stop harassing people for a dance for a little while. It was also hoped it might give him time to sober up a little bit.

Rúmil did not seem at all bothered at being dumped with taking Penny back. However, he was also too inebriated to make any pretence at being at all interested in her either. Penny did feel he could have made more of an effort but was too tired to care. She tried starting up a conversation a few times but got little more than one word answers in response or else he would go off into tangents such as how the moon a beautiful shade of blue this evening. He also had a tendency to slip into Silvan which did not help matters.

The most animated he got was when she mentioned how Rhimlath had been showing her round earlier that day.

"What in Arda did you let him do that for?"

"Well, he offered and I was interested."

"Rhimlath could bore the leg off a troll."

"He was very courteous."

"Never suggested he was not."

There was not much more to be said after that.

When they got near to the clearing Penny recognised where she was. She insisted Rúmil return since she knew her way from here. He was suddenly serious. He shook his head.

"No, no, cannot do that. Haldir would have my head if he knew I had not escorted you to your door."

"Oh, well, to the clearing will be just fine, Lord Rúmil."

"No, he was very specific. Door. To the door." He leant out an arm casually to lean against a tree before he fell over. "What are you doing in Imladris anyway? You are not Dunadan, are you?"

"Er, no. No. I was lost and one of the Dunedain found me and-"

"Ah, yes, yes. Orophin said something about it all. Lindir told him. Lindir's a friend of yours, yes?"

"Yes." She looked at him. He showed no signs of moving anytime soon. "Shall we carry on?"

"Hmm? What? Oh, yes, of course!" He suddenly leapt to her side, his eyes slightly too bright and his smile a little too wide. "To your door, indeed!"

They were there soon enough. He did indeed walk her right up to the entrance to her tent, leaving her with a bow and wishing her a very good night. He was being very gracious.

"Thank you, Lord Rúmil. You have been most kind. Go back and have a few more dances." She grinned. "Or even a bit more to drink."

"No, no. I will never hear the end of it if I get any more drunk. My wife would kill me."

He turned on his heel and wandered off into the dark, though dawn was breaking, turning the night into mere shadows already. He whistled a tune to himself, leaving a somewhat stunned Penny behind him.

Married? He was married?

She blinked for a moment before collapsing into hysterics at the thought of Mary-Sues committing hara-kiri at the very idea.



Author's Notes:

Yes, I know JRRT was considering making Celeborn one of the Teleri see Unfinished Tales, but I prefer the version where he's Sindarin and a kin of Thingol. Sue me. ;P

Also, before anyone lynches me over marrying Rumil off – remember that LACE makes it clear most elves were usually married while still relatively 'young' (in elvish terms), so it is more than likely that many of our erstwhile heroes are, indeed, married. Besides which you should consider yourselves lucky – I was considering having him or one of his brothers killed in the attack on Dol Guldur… but I knew I really WOULD be lynched if I did that. *snerks and ducks the rotten tomatoes*





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