Chapter 22 - “A Friend In Need”

As it was Halbarad did not appear at lunch. Nor indeed was he anywhere about after it. Penny was kicking herself that she was so pleased to see him and so disappointed that he had not appeared for the meal.

The trouble was she had felt a connection to him even before they had arrived at Imladris: as being the only solid, stable, consistent thing around her when she had really felt like she was losing her mind. As a consequence she had grown to like him before she had had an opportunity to think through the implications of it. Just to realise that she now thought of him as a friend terrified her, given what she knew would happen. She was torn between delight at his being here once more and utter despair if she let her knowledge of the future encroach upon her in any way. She was, therefore, trying not to think about Halbarad at all.

Yet she could hardly stop thinking about him now she knew he was back.

She wondered how long he was staying.

Elrond had ordered food to be sent to his room for Halbarad and himself. Erestor had now joined them as well as Gandalf.

“Well, you have little more to tell us than the other scouts who have reported back to us so far, Halbarad.”

“So I understand, Elrond.”

Halbarad leant back in his seat near the open door to the garden sucking on his pipe. Gandalf was sat opposite him on the other side of the door also smoking. Erestor and Elrond were both at Elrond’s desk (in other words as far from the fumes as it was possible to be without being rude or excluding themselves completely from the conversation).

Halbarad continued, “I have a feeling you will not hear anything different from any of the others either. No word from Aragorn as yet?”

“No. I was hoping you might have heard from him.”

“Well, I ran into my cousin a few days ago who had seen him two weeks back. Same story. No sign of them other than the horses further downstream in the river.”

Elrond nodded. There was a brief silence.

Halbarad, seeking to change the subject, said, “I must congratulate you, Erestor. Penny was speaking Sindarin to me when she met me as I arrived.”

Erestor smiled. “She is doing well. It is slow progress, but she is getting there. She is getting a lot of help, also, as you will no doubt see at mealtimes. Maura has been particularly diligent in his testing of her vocabulary.”

Halbarad raised an eyebrow. “So she has got to know the kuduk?” He looked quizzically at Gandalf as he said this.

Gandalf replied, “Yes. She even has afternoon tea with them these days. Ban and she are regular helpers in the gardens. She has become quite a feature of Imladris, I think. When she is not stumbling over half-naked elves in the rivers, that is.”

There was a snort and a grin from Elrond and Erestor laughed out loud.

Halbarad, looking bemused and intrigued, smiled. “What is this?”

“Ah, well, I think Erestor is in a better position than any of us to explain,” Elrond smirked into his goblet.

“Yes, thank you, Elrond. Really it was nothing, Halbarad, though she was most embarrassed was she not, Mithrandir?”

“Yes, indeed. I think she took a lot of persuading to come to dinner that evening and again to join the general company afterwards.”

Halbarad was grinning like an idiot now. “What did she do?”

Erestor paused. “She did not realise there were designated washing days. She came marching down to the river with clothes under her arm to be greeted with the sight of eight semi-naked male elves.”

Halbarad nearly choked on his pipe he laughed so hard and for several moments he couldn’t speak or catch his breath. “You.. oh, Eru.. you ARE joking!” He laughed again, this time the others joining in, and was still sniggering when he said, “Poor Pen-ii. She must have been mortified. What happened?”

“Well, nothing, really. We had heard her coming, of course. It could only have been her. So we didn’t react at all. She took one look and fled. I do not think she could have run faster if she had had an army of orcs after her.” Again, there was laughter from them all.

“I heard she put Lindir in his place about it all,” Gandalf’s eyes were twinkling.

“Ah, yes, I heard about that as well. My daughter’s doing, I believe?” Elrond could not help but smirk.

Erestor did not know about this and looked as intrigued as Halbarad. “Is this to do with that day? Lindir was there as well as I.”

“Yes, he was and Arwen suspected he may try and tease Pen-ii about it. So she told Pen-ii a little something with which to counter any goading from Lindir.” Gandalf’s eyebrows were positively wiggling with mischief.

“I wonder how my daughter managed to convey that particular story to Pen- ii, Mithrandir? I feel sure you could enlighten us in that regard,” Elrond said to him pointedly. Gandalf ignored him but his face split into a grin.

Erestor and Halbarad had exchanged a look. Both raised their eyebrows. It was Halbarad who spoke.

“You don’t mean the time when he got drunk and Lady Arwen discovered him...?”

Elrond and Gandalf nodded, grinning broadly.

Erestor and Halbarad roared with laughter.

“I wish I had been there to see Pen-ii trying to convey THAT to Lindir,” Halbarad was near weeping with hysterics.

Gandalf chuckled. “He was most upset, apparently. Not that she had told him she knew, but that she had been told about it in the first place. I gather, from Lady Arwen, that Lindir had tried goading her several times before she said anything. She tried to warn him before she said it, too, so she gave him every chance.”

“Yes, but Lindir simply cannot help himself,” Erestor countered. “Her discovering us at the river like that was an absolute gift to him. Especially given how embarrassed she was. She could barely look at me in her Sindarin lesson the next day.”

“Which is no doubt why Arwen told her what she did,” finished Elrond.

“Exactly,” said Gandalf.

“Good for her,” said Halbarad, beaming broadly.

A little later Halbarad wandered towards the gardens in the hope that Penny might be there. Elrond, Erestor and Gandalf had spoken well and warmly of her, telling him how she was settling in and what she had been up to. He knew she was no longer his responsibility, but even so he felt a little protective of her and had been concerned she might have found things difficult without him around. She had stuck to him like glue those first few days and had clearly found his presence reassuring each time things had become difficult for her.

He had thought about her while he had been away and had wondered how she was getting on. He was pleased she had found her feet at last and was making such a concerted effort to learn and fit in.

He saw her as he entered the kitchen garden. Sam was nearby digging over some bare earth ready for some late planting of cabbages. Celebdor was uprooting carrots for supper and Mireth was with him. Various other elves were ranged here and there or coming in and out with barrows, but Penny was at the far end clearing some late fallen leaves from the paths. Halbarad, smiling on seeing her, made his way towards her.

She had a shawl (a gift from Eleniel) tied round her shoulders. She was wearing a heavy apron tied round her waist, which had a large pocket at the front into which she had jammed a sharp knife, a small pair of secateurs, and a ball of string. She had leather gloves on and looked every bit the gardener. Her cheeks were red from the cold and the hard work.

She heard his footfall on the path and she looked up. She smiled, “Aiya, Halbarad.”

He nodded, still smiling and returned her greeting. “Working hard I see.” Her brow furrowed. “Gardening. You,” he explained.

She grinned and nodded, scooping up the last of the leaves into the large basket she had with her. She stood, picking up the basket, and beckoned him to come with her with her head as she turned and walked even further down the garden. He offered to take the basket for her but she shook her head. “No need, Halbarad. It’s not heavy at all.” She waved the basket up and down to demonstrate. He nodded.

After she had tipped the leaves on the large leaf compost heap behind one of the screens of bushes Halbarad asked, “Are you finished for today? Can we talk a little, perhaps?”

Penny, understanding ‘finished’, ‘today’ and ‘talk’ nodded. In truth she could come and go as she pleased but she had no way of explaining that to Halbarad though she was sure he would know that well enough. She waved the basket at him, “Just need to put this away. Oh, and take this lot off.” She gestured at the apron.

He took the basket from her as she pulled off her gloves, stuffing them into the pocket of her apron. When she tried to take the basket back from him he would not give it to her, though. She smiled and thanked him. They wandered to one of the huts where they left the basket in the corner with several others and Penny hung up her apron, replacing her tools to their places.

“We walk?” she asked Halbarad in Sindarin as she stepped back outside.

He grinned and nodded. “We walk. Yes, Pen-ii.”

They headed off into the woods. Halbarad spoke first, “I hear you have been making a name for yourself.” She looked at him, smiling, but clearly uncomprehendingly. “You. River. Male elves.”

The look on her face was priceless. Halbarad chuckled. She blushed a vivid red.

“How the bloody hell do you..! Is nothing sacred? You haven’t even been here a day and someone’s told you already!” He was just grinning at her. She switched to Sindarin. “Who he talk?”

Halbarad looked at her. He thought he understood what she meant but was not sure.

She tried again. “My story. Who he talk my story?”

Yes, he had understood. “Elrond, Erestor and Mithrandir.”

She stopped walking and looked at him open mouthed. “You have to be kidding me? Do the four of you really have nothing better to talk about?” She shook her head in disbelief, groaning. “It was so embarrassing, Halbarad.”

He looked at her as her tone of voice changed. He could guess what she was saying. “Toloth ellyn, Halbarad. Toloth! And Erestor was one of them. Erestor!” She groaned and shook her head. She looked sideways up at him, caught his grin as he laughed softly, and chuckled. She pointed at herself, “Me? A complete bloody fool, that’s what I am.”

“Ah, Pen-ii. It was an honest mistake. No one blames you for it. If anything it has made you well liked: you have made them laugh. Not at your expense, though, just because it is funny.”

She had not understood him but guessed he was trying to reassure her. She smiled. “Le hannon, Halbarad.”

He nodded. “You are welcome. I also hear you dealt with Lindir admirably over the whole affair. I congratulate you. He can most persistent if he puts his mind to it.”

“Lindir?” It was the only bit she had understood.

“Yes, Lindir. His story. That Lady Arwen told you.”

Penny broke into a peal of giggles. She was in fits of hysterics and Halbarad could not help but laugh at seeing her like this.

“Ah, yes. Lindir. That WAS funny. I was most grateful to Lady Arwen about that. You should have seen his face, Halbarad, it was hysterical.” She made hand gestures to indicate his blushing as she said “Lindir”. She even pointed to the ears to show he had blushed all the way to the points. Halbarad roared.

They had come to a clearing surrounded by trees. There was a wooden gazebo in its centre with winter roses growing round the four pillars holding up the roof. There were two benches underneath it. They sat, still chuckling and smirking.

“I am glad you are settling in here.” He realised he would have to talk more simply. “I happy - see you learning and happy here. In Imladris.”

She nodded.

“Halbarad?”

He looked at her.

“How long are staying?” She tried Sindarin. “You. Here. Days?” She turned her hand as she said ‘days’ and tried to make it sound questioning. She counted on her fingers, “One? Two? Three? A week?”

He smiled but his face was serious now. “Not long, Pen-ii. There is much to be done.” He pointed outwards. “Out there. Much danger. You know, ‘danger’?”

She was looking at him, her face serious also. She could guess what he was saying. She nodded. “You have a job to do, I know.” In Sindarin she said, “Dúnedain. Big work. Eriador.”

He nodded, his face grim.

She stood, trying to break the mood. “Tolo. I have things to show you.”

He looked at her as she said for him to come and look. She was smiling, so he returned her smile and followed, glad to have something to distract him.

She showed him her weaving, her basket (nearly finished) and the little pot she had made, newly fired, and waiting to be glazed. In every place they went the elves told him of her diligence and conscientiousness. How she would visit them every day and, even though she had little or no skill, kept trying and was at last showing signs of improvement and learning in a few things.

Halbarad was amazed and pleased. She had seemed so aggressive and selfish when he had first met her. Though he well understood now why she had been so it was clear, had been clear to them all, that her culture and time was very different from their own. She had had a lot to learn. He had worried she might have found it too much, too overwhelming, though he had known that the elves would have been very patient and kind with her. He was glad to see his fears had been unfounded. He, dared he say it, was proud of her.

As they headed back towards the halls they met Frodo and Pippin. They grinned and greeted Halbarad warmly before Frodo said, “It is nearly teatime. Will you both join us? We have discovered Pen-ii is a tea drinker, Halbarad. So rare for a big person, though Gandalf likes it too of course. She joins us every afternoon now.”

Halbarad made his apologies, “It is a most kind invitation, Maura, but I must decline. I have travelled far yesterday and this morning and I need to rest and have a bath before I can present myself before the general company tonight, I feel.”

Penny’s ears pricked up, “Bath? Hot water? I help. We help.” And before anyone could stop her she was off up the steps and heading down the corridor towards the water room.

Halbarad caught up with her, “Really, Pen-ii. There is no need. I can manage.”

Penny shot him a look, “Hot water big work. I help.” She had a look in her eye that told Halbarad there was no point arguing. She was already saying ‘bath’ and ‘help’ to the one or two elves they met in the corridor who immediately nodded, turned, and joined them in heading towards the water room.

She did not know how to light the fire but she filled one cauldron with water. Halbarad and an elf took a tub to his room while she followed with cold water. She helped with the hot water too when it was ready. Thinking about it later she realised she had done it as much to prove to him that she could cope, that she was learning and, as much as anything, she was not really the ‘Bitch-Cow from Hell’ he had had to deal with all the way from Bree.

Once they were all done, the elves headed off, leaving Halbarad standing in the doorway to his chambers and Pen-ii about to follow the elves. He called her name. She turned back to him. He smiled gently, “Le hannon, Pen- ii.”

“No problem, Halbarad. Besides you need a bath. You stink.” She pointed at him and then held her nose. Halbarad’s eyebrows shot up as he gasped and then roared with laughter. Grinning, Penny turned and headed off down the corridor leaving Halbarad watching her go as he stood in his doorway, chuckling.

He was there at supper, his hair still damp, but freshly shaved and with a clean tunic and pair of leggings. There was no space near him or next to him so Penny ate with Celebdor and Eleniel but Halbarad flashed her a grin as she came in the dining hall.

After supper she found herself in the Hall of Fire as usual, listening to the singing. She did not think she could ever get tired of it in all honesty. Sometimes she would catch a name or a place mentioned and could hazard a guess at the song being sung or the tale it told. Mostly it just washed over her. Still beautiful, though.

She was sat on a bench against one wall, her eyes closed. When she opened them she saw Legolas glance in her direction and beckon her to join him. She stood. He was with Gandalf, Halbarad, and Elrond. She joined them and greeted them and they acknowledged her greeting but carried on talking. Another song was about to begin so, rather than disturb those who wished to listen, Elrond motioned them through a door into the large antechamber so they could talk freely.

As they did so Halbarad hung back a little and said something, with a mischievous grin on his face, to Penny. She furrowed her brows at him. Gandalf’s deep voice came from behind her, “He is asking if he smells less now he has had a bath.”

Penny laughed. “Yes, Halbarad. Much better.”

He grinned at her.

Hoo boy. This was not good. He had a nice smile. It lit up his entire face. She felt a pang of distress wash over her again as once more the reality of the situation hit home.

She did not know him well enough to really fancy him. He was attractive, sure, but quite a bit older (in terms of how old he looked) than the blokes she normally went for. She did not like to think about how old he actually was: probably old enough to be her grandfather and then some. For all she knew he could even be married.

No, that was not the problem. It was that, like Boromir, he was such a nice guy. She already found the Boromir situation difficult enough to handle as it was and she knew Halbarad a lot better than she knew Boromir. That made it much worse because she was already in the habit of treating him no differently than anyone else, in fact being more familiar with him than anyone else except possibly Mireth and Eleniel now. Every time she forgot that ‘prior knowledge’ in her head for a moment, a few minutes or even an hour or two and treated him as the friend he had become she found herself liking him more and more. Bugger it.

They had reached the antechamber, were finding seats. The chatter was still going. Arwen had joined them. Penny only took all this in distractedly, her thoughts elsewhere. She had not realised, though, that her brow had furrowed so her anxiety was clear upon her face and the conversation had died away slowly as, one by one, they noticed and wondered what she was considering. They murmured quietly to each other, commenting on it.

/What is it, Penny? Is anything amiss/

She started in her seat, staring at Gandalf. “What? Hmm? Sorry, I was miles away. No, nothing is wrong. Why do you ask?”

She suddenly realised they were all looking at her. Oh, bugger. “Umm. Why’s everyone looking at me?”

“You seemed distracted. Even worried, Penny.”

“No, Mithrandir. No. Not at all.” She did not even sound convincing to herself. She realised she was making them all distinctly uncomfortable. “Perhaps I had better go. Goheno nin.” Halbarad reached out a hand to stop her and reassure her but she was out of the door with as much dignity as she could muster before he could do so.

Elrond sighed. “It must be difficult for her. Not simply to know our fates, but to try to not think about it. A great burden for her.” The others nodded.

Arwen exchanged a look with Gandalf. “I will go after her. She might appreciate some company.”

Gandalf nodded. “I shall come with you to translate if you wish.”

Halbarad had stood also but Arwen waved them both to their seats. “Let me go alone. If I need translation or she needs more company I can call for you.”

Halbarad nodded and sat. He had always been there for Penny when he was last here. He felt he should be there for her again. Why in Mordor did he feel so beholden to her? He barely knew her, for Eru’s sake. He watched Arwen as she left, realising that a lot had changed while he had been away and he was vaguely annoyed with himself that it mattered to him.

Arwen found her outside, shivering slightly in the cold, but at least away from everyone else. “Pen-ii?”

Penny turned and gave her a sad smile. “Goheno nin, hiril nin. I didn’t mean to upset or depress everyone. It’s not what you think. Or what you imagine it might be. Well, it is in a way, but not... Oh, I can’t explain. It doesn’t matter. I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry.” She sat on the steps, her head in her hands trying not to burst into tears.

Boromir telling her about his love in Minas Tirith and now Halbarad back and being his usual charming, affable self. It was all too much to cope with.

Arwen said nothing, just sat next to Penny quietly. She put her arm about Penny’s shoulder and gazed out into the night sky. Then, quietly, she started to sing.

As Penny listened the tune seemed to fill her head and took her far away. She did not understand and yet somehow she guessed this song was about men, about how the elves saw them. It suddenly occurred to her that elves had to face what she was facing all the time. Seventy or eighty years – the average life of a man – was nothing for them so they would have seen numerous generations born only to then see them then fade and die in, what was to them, a mere instant. Friends would have been loved and lost countless times for them. Every human they met and knew they would lose.

As the song continued, Arwen’s beautiful voice filling the night air with her melody, Penny was struck by what Arwen herself would have faced when she chose to marry Aragorn. Penny realised she could have no comprehension what that must have been like for her, or those involved. Arwen would face Aragorn’s death and live on after it. She would then face her own: a concept so utterly alien to the elves.

Penny found herself weeping uncontrollably as the song washed over her. She wept for Boromir and Halbarad. She wept for the generations of men that the elves had seen fall. She wept for Aragorn and Arwen. She wept for Elrond and how he would sail west knowing he would never see his daughter again.

She had no idea what was the actual meaning of the song, but it had helped. It put it all in perspective somehow. It showed Penny she was not alone in the pain she was facing, in the kind of knowledge she had. All mortals had to die sometime, sooner or later, and for the elves it was always ‘sooner’. She would have to find a way of dealing with it and carrying on regardless, just as they did. She could not allow it to effect her so in how she dealt with people. The elves did not when they dealt with mortals and that very mortality would be staring any and every elf in the face. For Gandalf also, she suddenly realised.

As the last notes died away into the air, and still Arwen did not move or speak, Penny felt much calmer and more focused than she had in a while. What would be would be. She would just have to accept it. No point in crying over it or beating her head against a wall wishing it wasn’t: such was the way of things, that was all.

She did not turn to Arwen as she said, very quietly, “Le hannon, hiril nin.”

Arwen nodded, smiled a little sadly and hugged her arm a little tighter round Penny’s shoulder while the stars twinkled brightly in the sky above them.

ellyn - male elves

tolo - come

Goheno nin - forgive me

Le hannon - I thank thee

Hiril nin - my lady