Starter: "Do you have any buns?"

Disclaimer: Hobbits are not mine, but JRRT’s. He lets me borrow them every day. 

Synopsis: Part 2 - The ramifications of Merry’s choice in Part 1.  

ALCHEMY, BOTANY, AND PIPPINOLOGY, Part 2

By Pippinfan

"Do you have any buns?" Estella asked her mother-in-law. "Or cheese? It would go well with this lovely brandy." The face of Esmeralda blurred for a moment then came back into focus. Stella knew right away that she had one too many glasses of the new brandy, but that was of no consequence. Was it indeed just one glass? No matter--she was a lightweight anyway; a cheap date for Merry when he was courting her.

"Of course I have-- I sit on them all the time!" Pervinca cackled; she had been keeping up with her good friend Stella. Pervinca wasn’t much of a drinker, either.

"I said ‘BUNS’--not bums!" Laughter roared around the table.

"It’s supposed to be aged," Saradoc put in, re-filling Esmeralda’s glass while she passed the platter of biscuits and buns to Stella. "but it tasted fair enough, and since we were having this little impromptu get-together, I decided it was all right to sneak a taste."

In the Master’s private dining hall sat the Master of Buckland, his wife Esmeralda, their daughter-in-law Estella, Thain Paladin II of the Shire and his wife Eglantine, and last, but not least, their daughter Pervinca--wife of Merimas Brandybuck.

"They completely burglarised you, Sara," said Paladin. He set back in his chair sniffing the fine bouquet of the dark liquid then swirled it around inside his glass. "Stolen your vintage wine and one of your own Stills--for what? To invent their own label! We never had that sort of cheek in our youth." Neither Paladin nor Saradoc were wet behind the ears when it came to consuming strong drinks.

"No--you were much worse," Esmeralda quipped, then burst out laughing. Tina, her dearest friend and wife of the Thain, laughed right along with her. These hobbit-women imbibed only at special occasions, however, with it being the Yule holidays, Essie and Tina decided to let their hair down and have some fun. What is more, these matrons were much more practised when it came to sipping brandy than their young counterparts--except for today.

"Well, we’ve burglarised them in return," Saradoc replied to Paladin. Together, the two hobbits raised their glasses in a toast before emptying them.

* * *

All at once, three young hobbits burst through the door of the laboratory, staggering down all three steps of the staircase–quite the obstacle for a drunk hobbit. Pippin wearily collapsed on the mat near the fireplace, "I haven’t felt this empty in a long time!"

"Neither have I," said Merimas, then looked at his cousin. "What in the Overheavens did you bring home with you?"

"Nothing," Merry answered defensively. "Just something the healers used on their own folk. Ioreth said it’s for stomach ailments."

Pippin felt more grumbling in his intestines. "Well, the last I looked, my stomach didn’t reach all the way to my --"

"We get the idea, Pippin," said Merry, sitting uncomfortably in the chair.

Merimas gave out a sudden cry. "Where is it?"

"Where’s what?" Merry asked.

"Everything!" shouted Merimas. "The still is gone -- and so is our brandy!"

Pippin gaped at his friends. "Why are you looking at me? I didn’t say a word!"

Merry gulped, "I’m really going to be sick."

* * *

The next evening, inside the conference room of Brandy Hall sat nine hobbits in complete silence. If a pin dropped, they all would have jumped. Everyone’s innards had stopped grumbling -- and moving…for now. At least, until the next round of BB&T Restorative Remedy was consumed.

"Well…," said Pippin. He folded his arms across his chest, feeling a tad confident this evening. "Seems we’re all at an impasse."

"Impasse?" asked Saradoc, staring at his nephew in disbelief. "I don’t call pinching one of my stills and a dozen bottles of my best wine an ‘impasse’." He watched Merimas and Merry squirm uneasily in their seats. Estella and Merry were newlyweds, so Stella held her beloved’s hand under the table in quiet support, believing all of this had to be some sort of mistake. Pervinca…well, she was another matter; she was a Took. She joined her mother and aunt in glaring at the lads. It was apparent that poor Merimas slept on the couch last night. Pippin had a lass-friend that he was courting on and off this past year, however, she was a safe distance away in the Northfarthing visiting her own family for Yule.

Pippin was a bit nervous, however, he stood his ground. "But Uncle, you and my father walked into the private workshop of Merimas and Merry without leave. Isn’t that called trespassing?"

Check. Saradoc met Pippin’s gaze. "Since when has it become customary to perform experiments on other hobbits--without his or her leave? Why didn’t you just come out and ask Berilac if he wanted to sample an entire bottle of medicine that would empty his bowels, hmm? Because he would say ‘no’?" Pippin cast a miserable glance to his co-conspirators; things weren’t going as good as he thought. Saradoc sat back in his chair, feeling vindicated by his argument. "I thought so." Checkmate.

Suddenly, the dam broke; all three lads were speaking at once. The rest of the family joined in the chorus. The din was interrupted by a knock upon the great double doors. A servant came inside the room, addressing Merimas. He announced that another hobbit was out in the hallway who wanted to speak privately with him.

"Perhaps there is value to both points of view," Pervinca said to Pippin, as her husband left the room. "Yes, father and Uncle Sara went into the shop without Merry or Merimas being there, but you have to admit that you lads should not have taken Uncle’s Sara’s still, nor his best wine without at least proposing your idea first. That way, none of us should be in the fix that we are now."

"You’re right," said a repentant Merry. He stood up, "I took your wine and gear without asking, dad.. I wanted to surprise you -- that I could create and manage a business venture without your help. I suppose I got carried away with the prospect of being independent. Folks would know me for who I am, not for who my father is." His felt Estella give his hand a gentle squeeze.

"And," Pippin decided to add his confession, "I’m the one who nicked the sack of sugar from the kitchens." He watched his uncle for a dreadful reaction. "I’m sorry, Uncle Sara."

All eyes were on Saradoc to see what his reaction would be. For a long moment he wore a frown, then finally spoke. "I agree with Pervinca," From now on, though," he said to the lads, "no more experiments without the proper authority to do so, and no more burglarising my wine cellar or anything else that belongs to me without my permission. Though as Master of the Hall, I retain the right to walk inside your workshop if I have reason to. However, in normal situations, I will not walk further than the stairway if no one is about." He paused. "I accept your apologies, and I ask that you receive mine."

When Saradoc finished speaking, Merimas returned from his hallway meeting. He wore a wide smile as he went on, "Guess what?" he spoke to the entire family. "Someone just placed an order for ten bottles of BB&T." Then his smile waned, his hands fidgeting upon the table. "But I had to tell him that business had come to a halt pending a decision from the Master of the Hall." When Merry brought his cousin up to speed on what transpired while he was out, Merimas looked round at the faces in disbelief. "Then, sir," he asked Saradoc, "may we please borrow your still to produce the additional stores needed?" This time the borrowing would be for real.

"Very well," answered Saradoc, then grinned. "Ensure you properly label your bottles this time."

Pippin yelled out, "Lets all go to the workshop and celebrate with a toast!" Of course, he was jesting, though he withstood a lot of jabs in the arm for that remark. Instead, most folks mumbled their reactions of "Bad idea, Pip" or "No, thank you" as they all merrily went on to other activities.

The End