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***

Gilraen roused to the sound of giggling, and straightened, blinking her eyes clear in time to see two Elves dash behind a less excitable crowd. Beyond them, she thought to catch a glimpse of a grey cloak billowing under dark hair shorter than most. No one moved near the exit when she peered again without obstruction. At once she felt annoyed and anxious, finally concluding that not all of her wits have yet returned from slumber. As if to assist in that, thunder rumbled outside.

Beside her, Telmoth smoothed her clothes at the shoulder, where Gilraen's head had rested for she knew not how long.

"Oh, I beg your pardon. Were you speaking when I drifted off?"

"Not I, but you were." The Elf chuckled into her goblet, returning it to the floor empty. "Well, with the minstrels themselves seeming tired this eve, their music must be partly to blame for your lapse." The Elf raised a knowing eye and added, "Though it has been dull here in days past without affecting you so."

"I have not been sleeping well of late," she admitted, remembering then the subject of their earlier conversation. Estel had left again into the Wild with Elladan and Elrohir as guides. Even after four years, Gilraen had yet to grow accustomed to their venturing, each time further and longer than the last.

At the sound of rising wind, she forced her attention off the budding storm that Estel would endure unsheltered, focusing instead upon more immediate surroundings. The Hall of Fire remained at about the same occupancy as her last waking memory, making it difficult to guess the time elapsed since then.

"I believe he has retired," said Telmoth.

Gilraen realized where her gaze lingered: upon Elrond's empty chair. "When did he depart?"

"Shortly after you, and with more grace if I may say." Gilraen stood up in a start, and the Elf grasped her arm as soon. "Sit, sit, I shall cease my teasing!"

"No, I thought--" Gilraen looked back. "I am remembering that I had been mindful of how he seemed preoccupied tonight." She paused to humor Telmoth's look with a nod. "Maybe not abnormally so, but when Estel is gone..."

"Then be seated. There is no trouble while Glorfindel remains." After showing a smug smile, Telmoth said the rest to the back of Gilraen's head. "Think not that you are the only one with talents of insight. Though Glorfindel has been merry-making, he is not oblivious to the cares of others, leastwise--"

"I do not see that he remains either."

Following her example, Telmoth rose to scan the Hall. One golden head shone in the firelight, belonging to a lady, and one silver, belonging to Lindir. Standing inches taller than Gilraen did not help the Elf mark any others; still, she bade the woman wait while questioning a passerby.

"Nay, lady, Glorfindel took leave, I know not when."

With a sigh, Telmoth addressed her companion. "I trust you would be notified of any cause for concern. But get you gone to investigate, if it would ease your mind."

Gilraen refrained from reminding the Elf that she had not sought permission.

***

Gilraen could still hear music from the distant Hall of Fire when someone appeared ahead, clad in the camouflage of Rivendell's wardens and walking full stride. She called out and hurried to intercept, identifying Ronduir by the brindle horse trailing after its master. His station and schedule should disallow this visit barring some unforeseen need.

"Ah, Gilraen, fortunate that I find you." Yet the Elf swiveled his head, as if seeking a replacement.

Close enough to see Ronduir's cheerless face through the dimness, she unconsciously gathered her skirt in fists. "You were sent for me?"

"Rather bidden to have you sent for if I could." He seemed reluctant enough to tarry that Gilraen assigned a hand to hold his bracer instead. Casting eager glances over her head, he continued, "I am in haste to depart with a rested steed. Lacking reinforcements at my behest, a watchman abandoned the field to assume my outpost ere I-" Gilraen had risen on the balls of her feet to impede his view of beyond, "-never mind. Glorfindel is in the square, he can explain. I must away. Esgaldîn, come!"

She passed the puffing horse at twice its speed, resigned that Ronduir would not abide longer diversion from his duty. Moreover, Glorfindel likely expected further tidings if he waited in the square.

When the Elf came into view, he stood facing her advance; a lamp he held aloft stressed the frown upon his face, and set his white-garbed form glowing like stoked coal in contrast to the pale fountain behind.

"Glorfindel, what occurs?" A sudden gale swallowed Gilraen's words. She proceeded blindly for the last few steps, striving to secure hair blown loose. Even as she repeated, thunder boomed overhead, while another wind loosed her hair from its bindings. Struggling for control over her effects and temper, she ignored Glorfindel's hand upon her shoulder until he had turned her full around. Then she reeled.

Aught displaced fell at once and stirred no more: the wind had died as though mid-breath. Still she trusted her eyes less than through a net of hair as before.

Elrond sat before her, mounted and cloaked. His horse bore no traveling bags, and a glimpse of mail from under that mantle froze Gilraen's heart; she noted next the hilt of a blade, then had seen enough.

"Forgive me. I would that we meet under proper circumstances," he said, strangely reserved.

"Or not at all?" spoke Glorfindel in the same tone.

Excluded from the unspoken exchange that followed between these two, Gilraen's impatience grew. Unthinking she grasped for where the horse's bridle would be, if Elrond rode with one, clutching his person instead as some babe unable to speak.

He blinked at the contact, regarding her once more. "I ask permission to speak in your name that Estel would be compelled, for his own sake."

Behind her, Glorfindel shifted. She said, "What? I mean yes, of course, but why?"

"I go to retrieve your son," said Elrond dully.

Gilraen forgot herself to grip him two-handed. "Then he is in danger."

After a pause, he bent down that they were nearer. "No, for he is among my sons, and within Rivendell still." But without now the favor of Master Elrond, Gilraen suspected, and feared most of all. He straightened to continue, such intensity in his face as she associated with dire insight. "I may intercept ere they pass beyond these borders. At which time, I think he shall contend my will, if not ours united." Fixed then under his measuring eye, she could not but consent again.

With a sharp nod, his horse backstepped to make way and was off. Gilraen watched after them until her arms grew tired, outstretched as if still holding onto Elrond for dear hope. She let them fall to ache empty at her sides, for a while pretending to admire the sky deepening to night --where no storm remained-- and trying not to contemplate brash deeds of her own.

"These valley walls play such games with the wind, at times."

She turned. Glorfindel had resumed his customary light tone and untroubled expression -- though Gilraen wondered if in better light his eyes would betray him nonetheless. As to his art of speaking without really saying, she would discover. "Ronduir said you could explain."

The lamp flared in brief disturbance; Glorfindel set this upon the fountain edge, speaking carefully as ever. "Ronduir learned that the trio adopted a change in plans. As they set off upon a path other than that of which Elrond approved, he took it upon himself to deliver these tidings." When Gilraen made no reply, he gave a small bow.

"And?"

The Elf executed his most disarming smile. "And Master Elrond took minor offense that his opinions went overlooked. Do not worry! All will be well."

"Of course. Well. I do not mean to interrupt your duties. Waiting to see Ronduir off?"

"Indeed I am. Good night, lady." Another bow and he seemed sufficiently dedicated to his own affairs, perhaps taking a short nap before Ronduir happened by, or else making it his business to stand very quiet in the meantime.

She paced backwards before strolling casually towards the main house, and once inside, tore up the nearest stairs. A window by the start of one hallway faced the courtyard; this she edged beside and waited, then peeked through it. Glorfindel's lamplight flickered beside the fountain below. No footsteps came or went that she could hear.

On Gilraen hurried to Elrond's quarters undetected, and closed herself inside.

***

Elrond kept what Gilraen had always considered a small library in his personal chambers, though the loremaster referred to this area --bookcases and all-- as his office. Excluding a few choice tomes presented for Estel's education or amusement over the years, she had never known exactly what might be found therein; but she could guess, and had done so correctly.

Some time after lighting his candles with his matches from his drawer, yet before finding what of his knowledge she sought from violating his journals concerning his life, she collapsed into his chair and wept. What if he finds me, or knows I came? Such fears gave way to one worse. What if he does not, and I keep the lie? But worst of all that Estel traveled she knew not where, and for what purpose even Elrond would not abide.

Gilraen wiped her face dry and studied the next parchment before her. In Elrond's ornate script, it began: '2509 Enderi 3'

When she finished she sat back. It was the 1st. She looked towards a window, where the first hint of dawn grayed the night sky. Where has the time gone? She stood and began arranging everything back in its original place. With an armful of scrolls that belonged to a nearby chest, she turned, yelped for surprise, and dropped every piece.

Glorfindel stood three paces in from the doorway; two doors he must have opened to come this far, yet Gilraen had heard not so much as a breeze. "What do you do here? How long have you stood there?"

"I have leave to be here," he said, very plain. "And I have been here long enough."

"Well." Flustered, Gilraen bent to gather the scrolls. "I have leave to -- excuse me!" He stepped aside that she could kneel before the chest, watching as she replaced them one by one, taking time to remember which came out in what order. "To make my son's business my own. To know of his, of what, that he..." She rested her head against the closed lid. Glorfindel said nothing. "Will you tell Elrond?"

"Should he inquire." The Elf moved to the desk. "Which I do not expect." She stood, but did not face him. "If all of your answers were so clear, I need not have done this."

"Some questions it is not my place to answer." His voice wavered at that, in regret or something else, steady again when he said, "Neither do I accept responsibility for this trespass."

"I do not ask you for that." Gilraen turned with sudden courage. The Elf finished ordering the desk. She had forgotten the effort when better light revealed how aught touched showed prints in the dust. "But I foresee, lord, there will come a day when you forsake what may be expected of you for what you judge right to do in your own mind."

Balking at her own words as he faced her, his stunned look perhaps mirrored her own. They remained for an uncounted time; but the candles wasted in the early dawn when the nearest door flew open. Elrond entered, gaze downcast and buried in a flurry of cloth as he flung off his dusted cloak and not a few leaves with it. He stood motionless, as though contemplating, before seeming to take first notice of his company.

Glorfindel gave his customary small bow while Gilraen fidgeted awkwardly. When her turn came, she endured Elrond's expressionless regard as best she could. When that gaze become stern shifted to the desk, all the candles went out.

"If not for my haste, I would have explained," he said, very nearly as plain as Glorfindel had first spoken. Elves adopted such toneless tones at times when Men's voices would rise in anger.

Elrond made a motion that might have been a head toss, or a signal to Glorfindel. "Help me," he said, moving towards the bedroom, one hand unfastening his belt. The Elf followed, and from within Gilraen heard the rattle of chain mail, as she carefully did not rattle the door handle behind her.

***

Finally, she found Estel. He leaned cross-armed against the stable door, one of Elrond's sons beside him in like fashion. At her approach, the Elf-man sprang up straight and guarded, while her son continued his study of the horizon with undue diligence.

"Estel, it is past dawn!" she said, suddenly exasperated and at a loss for other words at seeing him so casual.

"I have no curfew. Elrond released me this day to do as I--"

"You did not think of coming first to your mother? I had been sick with worry!"

His gaze dropped and softened considerably to meet hers. "Well, I might have, but we were talking, and Elrond left some time ago, so I supposed-- I'm sorry, I should have." His arms recrossed, stubbornness manifesting again. "But I never was in danger, mother, whatever you heard."

"You were in danger of betraying Master Elrond's blessings, and that is danger enough." Her words came harsher than intended. She sighed and pleaded, "Did you know, Estel?"

The Elf-man had seemed almost to speak with every breath, and visibly restrained himself while Estel answered, "Of our purpose, yes. I did not know he would have forbidden it."

"For that, Elladan yet holds father in the wrong," Elrohir broke in. "For my part, hindsight shows things more clearly to me. I should not have been persuaded that Estel become involved. Forgive me, Gilraen." He bowed with hands upon his chest.

"Still," Estel murmured to himself, "what real difference it makes, I cannot tell. We set out to track orcs, and one orc suits as fine as another."

Much of Gilraen's apprehension dissipated when her son admitted no deliberate wrongdoing. She embraced him at last, saying, "Tracking enemies for practice may be well and good, but taking Master Elrond's permission for such and stretching it along with you on some ritual ambush is a difference plain as day."

Elrohir did not suppress a toss of the head in full, and said before her resulting glare, "We help to keep open the Redhorn Pass. It is for the benefit of all."

"Including your personal gratification. I believe you!" she said, not relishing his distraction. "But I do not believe this particular tour, coinciding with the very anniversary of lady Celebrían's unhappy trial, was wrought by goodwill equal to vengeance."

He drew back a bit and frowned. "As said already, I pray you forgive me. Yet it may prove possible that lessons worthwhile come even from such a thing." Her son eyed him now, making Elrohir seem unsure how to continue, or if. He relented, "Perhaps it is more of a vice that we share, my brother and I; and perhaps your son being halfway to manhood we took for a brother in arms with whom to share all things. If we erred as well in that--"

"No." Gilraen did not need her son's anxious look to remind her how invaluable the involvement of Elrond's kin to Aragorn's destiny. "But begin at the beginning, as proper to teach one who is halfway a child still. Favorite songs, written words, family history -- are there no innocent ways to honor your mother's memory that keeps me not awake all night nor drives your father to such a state that even the wind flees afraid?"

Smiling faintly at that, the Elf-man bowed once more. "Let us hope."

*******

NOTES

2509 is the year Celebrían was waylaid by Orcs heading to Lothlórien on the Redhorn Pass. At their hands, she endured torment and a poison wound, before rescue by Elladan and Elrohir. Elrond healed her in body, but she lost delight in Middle-earth and left over Sea the next year. For the purposes of this story, month/date Enderi 3 serves as the anniversary of that attack.

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