Chapter Thirty Eight - By Your Side

Low murmuring permeated the sitting room of Pippin’s apartment while the hobbits waited for the Name Blessing to begin. More chairs were brought inside to accommodate the relatives--the ones who had been informed earlier that afternoon about the ceremony and were able to attend. Pippin’s sisters, cousins Frodo and Merry, and Lilas’ siblings all sat in the front rows. Three larger chairs sat in front of them; for Silas, Lilly, and Eglantine. As the guests waited, the Blessing participants were in the bedroom going over last minute details of the ritual.

“When do you want me to take Rosebud from you, father?” asked Pippin, sitting on the bed helping Lilas to dress their daughter in the beautiful gown made just for her. Nestled on her mummy’s shoulder, Rosebud made no fuss as her papa nervously fumbled with the tiny buttons on the back of her gown. She tried her best to gaze towards all the voices that she heard around her, but after a while gave up, opting to suck on her fist.

“You don’t take her,” Paladin grinned in reply. “Holding the infant while blessing him or her has been the privilege of every Took since the beginning of this time-honoured tradition.” He winked, “Give me a few proud moments with my granddaughter.” Suddenly, Paladin turned brusquely, looking here and there, “Where is it?”

“Where is what, dear?” inquired Eglantine.

“Yellow Skin,” Paladin replied. “I thought I laid it here on Pippin’s bureau.”

“No, father,” said Pippin. “I believe you gave it to Pearl to hold before coming in here. She’s to give it mother when she sits down, who will then hand it to me when you’ve finished blessing Rosebud.” Hearing his father breathe a sigh of relief, Pippin finished with the dreadful buttons, then placed the bonnet on Rosebud’s head. She started to whimper when he gently pulled her hand away from her mouth so he could tie the strings under her chin. At once, he gave the tiny lass her hand back when she started to cry; he’d have to work around it, however, the wee babe didn’t give her papa much room to work.

“Can I try?” As sick as she felt, Lilas couldn’t help but grin at her husband’s attempts to tie the bonnet. Pippin carefully held Rosebud in his lap while Lilas gave it a go. Pippin faced his father for a moment to receive more instruction about where he and Lilas were to stand during the ceremony. When he looked back round, the strings had been neatly tied under Rosebud’s chin--and she was no longer crying, presently sucking on her hand. He glanced in amazement at his wife, “How did you do that?”

“Tis a lass thing,” she smiled, taking their daughter and wrapping her in the knitted blanket Pimpernel had made. Lilas leaned in towards his ear, whispering, “My hands aren’t as big as yers--it was easier for me t’ do.”

Pippin gave Rosebud to Eglantine as he helped Lilas into the wheelchair. Taking the lap quilt Lilly held out to him, Pippin laid it over his wife’s legs.

“Is everyone ready?” Paladin asked, with one hand on the door handle.

“Half a moment, if you please, father,” answered Pippin, taking his place behind the wheelchair. He didn’t see Lilas slip her hand under the quilt to press in upon her painful belly. She didn’t want anyone to see.

However, Paladin saw her face go pale. “Are you all right, Lilas? We can always conduct the Blessing in private.”

“No, thank ye,” replied Lilas, now neatly tucking the lap quilt around her legs, “I’m fine.” The young mother was indeed guilty of one wee bit of vanity--her beautiful daughter. Wild ponies couldn’t drag her away from this rite of passage.

Pippin wheeled Lilas out to the sitting room as his father held the door open. Silas and Lilly quietly took their seats at the front; Eglantine joined them--as spectators--after she handed the baby over to Lilas. Paladin and Pippin stood before the assembly with Lilas sitting in the wheelchair next to Pippin. When the whispers died down, Pippin carefully took the baby out of Lilas’ arms, cradling Rosebud in his own, turning at an angle for a moment in such a way so that the crowd could see her. He was pleased to hear murmurings of approval; “ooohs” and “ahhs” reverberating throughout the room. When the room grew silent, Pippin handed his daughter over to the head of the Took clan for the blessing. With his hands now free, Pippin took Lilas’ hand in his, as they listened carefully to his father’s next words.

Paladin held his tiny granddaughter, taking a moment to collect himself before starting. Rosebud, dressed up in her Blessing gown, reminded Paladin of some Name Blessings that took place between thirty and forty years ago. Tears came to his eyes as he saw those same “children” now grown and sitting next to wee ones of their own.

“First, I wish to thank those who have come to together to help celebrate the birth of this babe. I will remind us all that in doing so, we are pledging our everlasting love and support to this child. When this child or her parents turn to us for guidance and support--by our symbol of promise today, we shall be obliged to give them that. If there are any among us that do not wish to fulfil this pledge, then I ask that you limit your participation to observance during the ceremony.” Paladin was bursting with pride, but the true reason of conducting the ritual--and so soon--was weighing on his heart. “Who is the mother and father of this infant?” The Took’s question was mere formality of the ritual.

“We are,” said Pippin and Lilas together.

“What are your names?”

“Peregrin Took,” stated Pippin. “Lilas Broadhammer-Took,” said Lilas.

“Very well,” answered Paladin, “and what is your baby’s name?”

Pippin gave a gentle squeeze to Lilas’ hand when they both spoke softly, stating their daughter’s name. “Her name is Rosebud.” Lilas dabbed the corners of her tearing eyes. Lilly, Eglantine, and Rosebud’s aunties were faring no better; they all were dabbing their eyes.

“Let it be known henceforth that this babe shall be called Rosebud Took.” Paladin gave a short nod to his wife, who handed Yellow Skin to the young couple. “Write her name and birthday under yours and Lilas’,” he instructed his son.

Pippin opened the official book containing the Took family Tree while Lilas held an ink jar, quill and a small blotting cloth she took from a table near to her. Finding his page, he began to write Rosebud’s name in its rightful place underneath his own. Depositing the writing articles on a nearby table, Pippin used a bookstand to prop an open Yellow Skin for all to see the new entry. Paladin then turned to his son and daughter-in-law. “Do you, Peregrin and Lilas, promise to raise this child with steadfast love and to protect her from all dangers?”

“We do,” they said.

“And you,” said Paladin, turning to the family and guests. “Do you promise to help this couple in the nurturing of Rosebud Took--to love her and protect her from all dangers?”

“We do,” replied the guests.

Paladin cradled his granddaughter ever so close as he spoke, tears welling in his eyes. “Rosebud Took, may you be blessed all your days in heart and home. May you be surrounded with love and warmth, sheltered in goodness, clothed in compassion, waxing in health, grace, and wisdom. May you be the delight of all who know you.” He whispered to a now sleeping babe, “You already are to me.”

Beset with dizziness several times during the ceremony, Lilas missed a good bit of Paladin’s blessing to her daughter. Surreptitiously, she again slid her hand under the lap quilt, with her hand pressing against the growing soreness in her belly. Lilas said nothing of the pain she was feeling as Paladin encouraged the guests to come up and congratulate the new parents.

After a good many relatives passed by to shake his hand or pat him on the shoulder, Pippin looked down at his wife sitting in the wheelchair to see how she was faring. He saw Lilas’ face was ashen; her hands shook as she embraced a distant Grubb cousin who was congratulating the couple. Pippin turned to look at his father, who was still holding Rosebud, proudly showing her off to the rest of the family. Pippin’s knees grew weak as he thought about what was to come with his young wife. Time stood still as he took his gaze back to Lilas, sitting at his side, who seemed like she was desperately trying not to double over. He gazed about the room as most of the guests stood around chatting with each other, seemingly oblivious to Lilas’ condition. His eyes met with Pearl’s; she looked alarmed--she noticed Lilas, too. Things became a blur as Pippin took Lilas up in his arms, leaving the wheelchair behind. “Open the door!” he shouted to Delia--Pearl’s oldest daughter, standing near the bedroom entryway.

Inside the bedroom, Pippin carefully laid his ill wife down on the bed. Immediately Lilas began to weep, curling into a ball of pain as her frantic husband shouted orders to find Merimas.

“I’m right here, Pippin,” Merimas called, rushing into the bedroom through a crowd of onlookers.

“It hurts,” Lilas cried, her jaw clenched.

“Do something!” Pippin implored the healer.

Pervinca ran into the room with a leather bag, handing it to her husband. “Come outside with me, Pip,” she said, taking her brother by the arm. Pervinca would often assist her husband with certain patients back at Brandy Hall; her natural compassion time and again soothed a sick child or anxious mother.

“No! I’m staying here,” Pippin answered, taking his arm back.

“Not this time, love. He can stay,” Merimas replied, speaking in Pippin’s defense. “Fetch me that water pitcher, if you please.” Grabbing a vial from inside his bag, Merimas quickly poured a measure of brown liquid into the glass on Lilas’ night table then filled it halfway with water from the carafe Pervinca handed him. “Have her drink all of this,” he said, giving Pippin the glass. “It will help ease the pain and allow her to sleep comfortably.”

Pippin took the glass, helping his wife into a sitting position so she wouldn’t choke while swallowing. “Come on, Lilas,” he coaxed her. “This will help you.”

Lilas drank the foul tasting substance, then again curled up against her husband, who was on the bed right beside her. Pippin’s own tears spilled over onto the bed linen as he kissed her head, rocking her in his arms. When will it all stop?, he cried within himself. Young Pippin had seen so much death that past year--and now his wife--dear friend and companion, lay in his arms dying a slow, painful death. He hoped beyond hope that the medicine would indeed take away her pain. Don’t let her suffer, he prayed.

Quietly, Merimas shooed the onlookers out of the doorway, shutting the door to give the tween-agers some privacy. “She will fall asleep shortly,” he said to Pippin, then he, too, left the room.

All through the night, Pippin allowed only his mother, Lilly, and Merimas into the bedroom. Each, in turn, would bring a fresh bowl of ice water for cooling cloths, or stay close by to run errands for the tween. Out in the sitting room waited the rest of the immediate family and closest friends of the young couple. Lilas slept somewhat peacefully, though her fever rose higher no matter what they did.

In the morning, Lilas woke up from her elixir-induced sleep, feeling tired, weak, and very hot. Next to her lay her loving husband of five months, dozing upon his pillows. Pippin stirred when the rhythm of his wife’s breathing changed. He greeted her with a tired smile. “How do you feel?” he asked.

“Like I’m not myself,” she answered wearily.

He felt the wet cloths to see if they needed to be changed. “Are you in any pain?”

Lilas looked around the room. “Where’s Rosebud? Who’s lookin’ after her?”

The lack of reply for his question wasn’t lost on Pippin. “I can get Merimas if you’re in any pain.”

“No--,” Lilas winced when she turned too fast. “I mean, not yet. But…where is she?”

Pippin couldn’t look his wife in the eye when he answered. “She’s…with Pimpernel,” he said.

“Nursing?”

It was Pippin’s turn to evade an answer. “I wouldn’t know exactly…”

“Pippin--tell me.”

He sighed, “I looked in on her an hour ago--she was nursing.” Pippin saw Lilas’ eyes well up with tears.

“It’s for the best,” she said after a moment, leaning her head on his shoulder.

“She put up a bit of a fuss,” said Pippin, wanting to make her feel better about it. “She wanted her momma, but…well, she eventually got very hungry.”

Lilas wiped her eyes, “At least she’s eatin’. I was worried over her.”

“Of course you are,” he spoke softly, holding her close, “you’re her mother.” Pippin felt Lilas stiffen in his arms. She closed her eyes as a wave of pain washed over her. “Is it bad?” he asked her.

Lilas took in a breath of air before answering. “It’s gettin’ there.”

“Merimas wants you to eat something before he gives you another dose of the medicine.”

“I’m really not hungry,” she said.

“Just eat a slice of toasted bread and a bit of jelly with me--please?”

“All right,” she gave in. Lilas could never say no to those bright green eyes…and yet the discomfort was wearing on her. She sighed, “But in the end, will it matter?”

Pippin tenderly took her chin in his hand, “It will matter to me and Rosebud.” His eyes held her gaze as he leaned down to gently kiss her.

She snuggled closer to Pippin as if his mere presence could ward off anything evil. When he was with her, she didn’t feel alone in this. “I love you, Pippin. Stay with me.”

“I will be here every second,” Pippin whispered his answer. They lay nestled together for a long while, to the point of Pippin thinking Lilas had fallen back to sleep.

Finally, she stirred, “I want t’ hold the baby.”

“I think we can arrange that,” Pippin said, then gave a beseeching glance towards his mother sitting nearby. Without a word, Eglantine rose up from her chair, exiting the bedroom. Some minutes later, she returned with a tray of toast, tea, and jam along with Pimpernel following behind, holding a crying babe. Once placed in the arms of her young mother, Rosebud settled down--hearing the sweet, comforting voice of her mum.

Lilas cuddled her infant daughter while sitting next to her husband. Not yet looking up at her sister-in-law, she asked, “Are ye…? I mean, were ye…” The tween sighed at her own lack of expression.

Pimpernel sat lightly on the bed, taking one of Lilas’ hands in her own. She confessed, “I fed Rosebud during the night and early this morning.” She paused to swallow the rising lump in her throat. “She’d rather nurse from you, of course--her own mother, but somehow…we were able to coax her. She won’t go hungry, Lilas.”

Lilas took her hand away from Pimpernel--to wipe her own tears away from her eyes. She finally looked at the hobbit-woman who would now nurse her daughter. “Thank ye--for not lettin’ a stranger-lass do this.” Pimpernel leaned towards her young sister-in-law, wrapping both arms around Lilas while she reciprocated with her one free arm. Both tearful mothers embraced; crying in mutual love for one another, and for Rosebud.

“Please…,” Lilas sniffed, “I want t’ be alone with Rosebud for a moment.”

“You really ought not to be by yourself right now,” said Pippin, also wiping his eyes.

“All right, Pippin--ye can stay, but ye’re the only one.”

Everyone left the bedroom save Pippin. After the door was shut, Lilas gave a sidelong look to her husband; she feared he may not understand the things that she was about to say. With a bit of trepidation, Lilas began to tell Rosebud how much she loved her--how such a wee lass could brighten up her life in the span of one very short week. Amid her tears, Lilas spoke to Rosebud of how much she would miss watching her grow up into a beautiful young tween.

Pippin said nothing--as this was supposed to be a private moment, but he did listen. He bit his lip as she continued to say goodbye to their daughter.

“I, um…,” she started again, “I’m sorry I didn’t get t’ give ye a sister or a brother.” As she spoke, Lilas combed Rosebud’s soft, auburn curls. “Keep an eye on yer Pa,” she whispered. “Help him t’ find another lass who’ll take good care of him. Don’t let him grow old alone.” Lilas tensed as a wave of pain washed through her belly.

Pippin rose from the bed, opening the door a crack, he called for Merimas. Lilas could hear low murmuring as she cradled Rosebud close. “I’m fi--,” she stopped, grimacing and holding her stomach as the pain became stronger. When it passed, she breathed in, “I’m all right, Pippin.”

“No, you’re not,” he answered, returning to the bed with the same vial of liquid Merimas poured into Lilas’ water glass the night before. Pippin saw that Lilas had eaten several bites of her toasted bread; that was good enough for him. He poured a small amount of the elixir into her tea, then added more honey. “Drink this,” he said. He watched Lilas hesitate, as if weighing a decision. “Lilas--please!”

Lilas shifted the babe in her arm, took the cup Pippin offered her, slowly drinking down all the tea. Pippin took the empty cup, set it aside, then nestled with his little family on the bed. Pippin looked on as Lilas caressed Rosebud’s forehead, her tiny fingers, the curve of her little nose. Comfortable in the arms of her mummy, Rosebud slept as Lilas traced the point of her ear, her jowls, chin, then lips. “I love ye, Rosebud--I always will,” Lilas sighed as she grew more and more relaxed; the pain beginning to fade.

Pippin lay next to Lilas, stroking her soft auburn tresses, watching her long eyelashes blink as she fixed her gaze on their daughter. He kissed her feverish head, “I love you, Lilas.” Those were the last words Lilas heard before falling into a deep slumber.

TBC